The Third Dish - Japanese-Style Porridge
Chapter 3
After the party, Shirou had made up his mind to call in Kiritsugu's acquaintance, Assassin, hoping to get more information on his "mission".
And particularly, more information on the people that Kiritsugu had called "The Servant 7".
Shirou called the number Kiritsugu had left him, and waited...
He felt almost like he was doing some of sort of shady business, by calling a guy named "Assassin" and asking for his services...
...Well, there was technically nothing wrong with it.
He was only asking for information after all. And hopefully, this "Assassin" guy didn't actually live up to his codename.
After waiting for a bit on his end, a voice on the other end finally answered.
"You are?" The voice inquired. The voice sounded strange, likely distorted through a voice changer of some sort.
"Oh, uh, this is Emiya Shirou," Shirou replied instinctively, before internally scolding himself for his own stupidity. He was talking to a (maybe) real assassin here! He shouldn't have given away his True Name so easily.
Shaking his head, he went, "Kiritsugu told me to give you a call...?
Shirou could hear a bit of rustling on the other end, maybe the sound of an affirmative nod?
"I got it." He said, voice deadly serious, "I'll be there soon."
Shirou wanted to protest, as there no need for him to actually come in person (and Shirou wasn't even sure if he wanted to be in the presence of someone with a codename of "Assassin"), but the person on the other end had already hung up.
"Wait..."
How would he even know where to find him?
Well, putting that aside, Shirou shook his head and waited.
Suddenly, outside the window of his first floor room, a person showed up!
One dressed completely in a black spandex, wearing a skull mask, pony tail flowing freely from behind him(?).
Shirou was startled, but Assassin held up a finger as if to tell Shirou to wait, and spelled out the kanji for death out on the window.
That unnerved Shirou even more, but the person outside seemed to realize that, and mimed a telephone up to his ear with his hand instead.
Shirou (very hesitantly) opened the window.
"Assassin?"
"Yeah, that's me."
They showed up surprisingly fast!
And they really did look like some sort of True Assassin, adorned with that mask and with a black visage that could easily slip into the darkness.
His speech seemed a bit slurred, though, and his movements a bit shaky.
"How did you get here so fast?" Shirou asked, "No, in the first place, how did you even know where I was staying?"
Assassin laughed, a pleasant sounding laughed. "Don't underestimate my Tsubame Gaeshi information network!" He declared, proudly, "Once you're caught in it's grasp, there's no escape!"
As to how he arrived so fast, apparently he was living at a nearby temple within the Totsuki campus area, currently employed by one the teachers there as a Servant and gatekeeper.
"More importantly," He inquired, "What did you call me for?"
Hesitantly, Shirou explained his situation.
"I see."
Assassin complied.
"Well, I'll get on it tomorrow, though." He said, "I'm not exactly at my best, right now; I just got back from celebrating my last successful mission from a rich old client, so I'm pretty hung-over right now!"
He laughed again.
Nevertheless, he insisted that he would get on it first thing tomorrow.
Shirou sweatdropped. Was this guy really a professional?
Shirou couldn't tell if true assassin or false assassin, though he certainly seemed to be of more like a false assassin now, to be honest.
Well, Kiritsugu trusted him, and that was enough.
He probably just caught assassin at a bad time.
Assassin, meanwhile, could see Shirou's doubt, and reassured him about custom "tsubame gaeshi" information services, which were incredibly swift!
And left no corners unaccounted for!
It was an information network that not even the smallest of swallow could escape from, as his sharp and far reaching information web!
Well, so he insisted, anyways.
His advertising spiel finished, he again slumped away, likely to return to the temple to get some rest.
Shirou shrugged. "Oh, well."
So, ignoring his uncertainty, Shirou went to sleep.
It's not like the information he was requesting was super-vital or anything, so it wouldn't matter too much whether Assassin successfully got it or not.
For now, though, it was important to rest up for what would come tomorrow.
...
Very early the next morning, Shirou awoke with a yawn, though it was still dark out.
Strange, he normally would sleep pretty well into the morning...
But, he was just now noticing that it felt like there was some sort of warm lump in his bed, beneath his bed sheets?
It certainly wasn't there when he went to sleep beforehand...?
'Don't tell me, Jeanne is...!'
Slowly, dreadfully, he started lifting up his blanket...
'Saber?!'
For some reason, Saber was there, seemingly sleeping peacefully, nuzzled against his chest.
She must've sleepwalked into his bedroom. He didn't lock it, after all.
Maybe she was subconsciously feeling nervous in a new environment, and sought him out in her half-asleep state?
Well, regardless, Shirou didn't mind.
Looking down at her, she looked incredibly cute, pressed up against his chest and nuzzling against it at rest.
She was almost like his own personal and Goddess of Promised Victory, snuggling across his chest.
He patted her cheek gently, and she seemed to pleasurably purr slightly at that.
Looking at her, the though occurred to him that now might actually be a good chance to practice confessing, since she seemed to be deep asleep after all.
Probably no better chance than this!
Gently caressing her cheeks, Shirou leaned down a bit to whisper into her ear.
"I love you, Saber."
All of a sudden, Saber's body suddenly froze up though, and her whole face seemed to suddenly blush furiously red.
Shirou suddenly froze nervously, too.
It couldn't be...
"Saber...?"
...Had she been awake the whole time...?
Suddenly, she pushed him away with her arms.
"I didn't hear anything!"
"?"
Getting up, she glanced at Shirou, her face's redness intensifying, before bolting away quickly.
Shirou looked on, confused.
Then, he shrugged, and went back to sleep.
Well, if Saber says she didn't hear anything, she probably didn't hear anything.
And so, Shirou went back to sleep, peacefully, like the blockhead he was.
Meanwhile, Saber struggled to fall asleep, as intensely flush and nervous and embarrassed (and happy) as she was.
She spent the rest of the morning hours rolling around her bed, restlessly.
...
It was finally time for classes.
Shirou headed out, though Artoria was apparently still sleeping.
Well, he didn't want to wake her, and maybe she just had classes at a later time?
Besides, the first day was mainly just skill assessment tests, to assess what level the newly enrolled students were at.
It wasn't that important, even if Artoria didn't want to attend for the day.
Though Shirou hoped she wouldn't make a habit of it, sleeping in late and being tardy for classes. If it came down to that, he'd have to scold her for it.
(In truth, she had heard him calling for her, though she just didn't want to see him again just quite yet, too embarrassed to face him after overhearing his early-morning confession yesterday. She would head out shortly after she knew he had already left.
...
The first day of classes were run by a teacher by the name of "Medea".
It was the first day of class, and it wasn't anything too rigorous, just a skills assessment, as he'd been informed of before.
Medea was know for harsh criticisms, but also for being a very good and knowledgeable teacher, and with her culinary knowledge, especially as it came to Greek and Italian cuisine, and ingredients and herbs around that region.
Supposedly, Medea reacted like Jeanne, but only if the dishes being served to her reminded her of her husband.
That much, Shirou wasn't really looking forward to.
Well, at least this time, expulsion wasn't a possible result, even the dish wasn't up to standard.
It was only class, after all, what with teachers and corrections, and all.
Medea was supposedly a very good teacher, too, and many students improved quickly under her because her critiques were very precise and on-point, or so Shirou had heard.
Medea eyed Shirou suspiciously, as she passed by.
Seeing his, Shirou offered up his own take on Japanese-style rice porridge, though with some western influences, with chicken broth and parsley and chives. Nutritious, and easy to go down.
Medea took a spoonful to sample, and thankfully, she had no major reaction, but held up her hand her cheek, and blushed as she closed her eyes and recalled fond memories.
"It's like Soichirou-sama is embracing me..." She said, fondly...
Shirou was relieved.
So it really was just Jeanne (or maybe just French girls, in general) who reacted like that...
Medea qualified his dish as a pass, excusing Shirou for the class, giving him a thumbs up for.
"I can tell that it's a dish filled with love." She noted.
"No, that's - "
Shirou tried to deny it, but his words failed him as he found that he couldn't.
It was a dish he had made out of love and worry for Saber when she got sick, after all. (Even though Saber didn't seem like type to catch a cold.)
And moreover, Medea had already walked away, testing next student's dish.
...
His class complete, once again, he had once again called over Assassin, who was fully ready this time with the information that Shirou asked for.
He seemed slightly different when he came over this time, though?
Well, maybe that was his own imagination.
Assassin handed over his notes, and the information he had found regarding them.
The group Shirou had mention were "The Holy Grail's Servant Seven",
More commonly just known "The Devotional Servant Seven" and "God's Personal Chefs".
Shirou was impressed by the format, where Assassin had arranged the information neatly into different pages.
It was surprising well-organized, like looking at Status Sheets, or something.
...
1. King Arthur
British, and more broadly, UK and European cuisine.
Just one taste of his food is powerful enough to send any person over to Avalon (Paradise)
Also a Christian, though not as openly devotional as Jeanne and Romani are.
Despite being around Jeanne's same age, he adopted her into his family, as her legal father (though they seem to act more like siblings towards each other).
2. Cu Chulainn, nicknamed "Lancer"
The Irish Cuisine Expert.
His food is a surefire hit to the heart, the moment it hits your tongue.
Just from the smell alone, it's almost as if it reverses the normal process of eating.
It's said that his food infiltrates the heart first, before hitting the tongue.
A truly fearsome chef.
3. A mysterious man, going only by the nickname of "Archer".
Apparently, he spent the last 10 years working as a janitor at a black company known as "Alaya" that specializes in meat-processing.
A very cynical and nihilistic man, with a strange tendency towards suicide.
He has the ability to instantly copy any recipes he observes to near perfection, and alter them to beyond their original tastes.
Every one of his dishes is like an explosive arrow, shooting away explosively at the target's defenses.
...
These top 3 chefs are said to be in a different league, entirely.
...
4. Kotomine Kirei
The Chinese food expert, though he occasionally dabbles in Russian food, as well.
He is supposedly a Chinese food expert, but all he's ever been known to make is Mapo Tofu and other very spicy Szechuan dishes.
He has taken several food tours over to the Szechuan region of China, but occasionally to Russia as well, under the pseudonym of "Rasputin".
Apparently, he also taught some Chinese martial arts to a few people in Russia as well.
His latest dishes, "Mapo Tofu Ramen" and "Mapo Tofu Borscht", are extremely popular dishes among the spiciness-lovers of Totsuki Academy.
A devout Christian, that also doubles as a priest.
5. Leonardo Da Vinci (female, despite the name)
A comforting Older Sister-type Italian girl, that specializes in Italian cuisine.
An unrivaled culinary genius that definitely deserves to be in the top 5, which are on a different level than those below them.
...
6. Doctor Romani Arcman
Specializing in Middle-Eastern Cuisine, especially in rediscovering ancient Hebraic recipes that were lost to time.
He also doubles as the school's doctor, despite still being a student.
A very knowledge man and formidable opponent. Like Jeanne, he is a very religious and devotional person.
Rumors say he makes contracts with devils, which he firmly denies.
There are also rumors that he has underground ties with the black-market and a body-double which acts in his place sometimes, rumors which he has not yet commented on.
7. Jeanne D'Arc,
Specializes in French cuisine.
A girl blessed with "God's Sense", who fasts constantly, to be in God's favor.
Any dish she deems as worthy is known to quickly explode in popularity.
A very devout Christian.
Also know as "The Maiden (Virgin) Saint of Totsuki Academy"
...
The Mysterious #0?
Finally, there are also unconfirmed whispers and urban legends about a hidden number zero.
Apparently some sort of spoiled rich brat, that had the legal copyright to every dish every made on Totsuki grounds.
But no more information could be found beyond that.
Likely just a worthless urban legend without any basis.
...
"Alright! Good work, Assassin."
Pleased with the results, Shirou praised him.
Assassin shook his head.
"No, this is all pretty common knowledge and well-known stuff. Literally just quick internet search would've gotten you like 95% of this information without my help."
Shirou sweatdropped. "Oh..."
"Truth be told, the only information I need to search for was on the Hidden Zeroth Servant and about "Archer"'s past, as there was nothing on the web about either of them. Like any information on them had been erased from official records, or didn't exist in the first place."
Shirou nodded. "Well, thanks, anyways."
Assassin nodded, and quickly disappeared.
Curious, Shirou looked up the Tsubame Gaeshi services (which was apparently not a hidden service at all, like he would've expected), but rather an open information network run by Sasaki Kojirou, though the only ones who could request to use and access its services were rich clients or clients who met specialized conditions.
Some people even doubted that "Sasaki Kojirou" was a real person, believing that he only existed as some sort of mascot or "legend" for the service.
There were all sorts of speculations abound, too, about him having a 100 different faces or body-doubles or something along those lines, though Shirou didn't really believe any of that.
Satisfied, he started getting ready to head to his next class.
...
There was a commotion about in one of the other class next to his, and Shirou headed over as he spotted Sakura watching the whole thing from a distance.
"Tohsaka-san...?"
Sakura didn't respond.
Ah, that's right, she had asked that she be called "Sakura-san", instead, since mot people called her sister "Tohsaka-san", instead.
"Sakura-san...?" He asked.
Sakura jumped, slight. "Oh, it's just you, Emiya-kun!"
She sighed a breath of relief.
"What's going on...?"
"Nee-san has..."
She looked back at the classroom...
"She's gotten into a fight with one of the temporary teachers..."
Shirou nodded in understanding, well that did sound like her.
Only the first day, and yet Tohsaka was already in trouble. Shirou laughed quietly to himself, that sounded like Tohsaka alright, with her sassy attitude.
But was this really worth such a commotion about?
"And not just any temporary teacher, but one the Servant Seven!"
"Oh..."
"And they've challenged her to a Shokugeki (a food duel)!"
...
...
Author's Notes:
...
Obviously, there's more to the sheets that Shirou got from Assassin (like statistics and skill rankings and preferred tools and personal background and such), but for brevity and clarity's sake, that much is the only information that really matters (lol).
...
Next chapter, Tohsaka (with Shirou and Sakura as Assist) VS ?
Well, it should be pretty obvious at this point, but can you guess who it is? The hint is that it's a certain other person in red that Shirou isn't good with, lol.
Kotomine Kirei, Fuji-nee, and Artoria will serve as the judges.
Artoria is clearly a good choice for a judge here, given how clearly unbiased she is (lol).
...
I'm looking forward to the next few chapters, where the beginnings of the Holy Food Wars (Seishoku Senso) really starts to kick off!
