Author's Note: Last chapter of book 1! Hope you enjoy ;)
...
I was on the couch, my legs propped up on a couple pillows and my wrist wrapped with a fresh bandage. To be honest, it was basically healed—the bandage was not nearly as necessary as my twin pair of casts—but it still freaked me out to look at the neat pink lines on either side of my arm, a matching set of evidence for the lies I was still trying to convince myself of.
Things were getting better: mentally at least. I'd had a complete meltdown the first time they took the bandage off and I saw bitemarks. I'd spent the next three nights staring in mirrors, looking for a sign that my eyes were turning red. Even now I wasn't sure, wasn't completely convinced that it wasn't going to suddenly take me.
Part of me knew that Bella could have put that fear to rest but I wasn't about to forgive her and she wasn't about to trust me. Her love for Edward and my hate for him put us more and more at odds every day. Every time she glanced at me and didn't spill the truth about what happened, she was condemning me to another day of mental doubt. Every time I thought about telling the truth, about tell everyone that Dick 'the Dickhead' Dickface had been involved in my accident and that there had been no fall… well, I was thinking about sending the love of her life to jail.
So now, lying on the couch with a blanket thrown over my casts and a pair of overlarge shorts, my itchstick never far from my hand and the tv remote glued to the other, I was ignoring the two lovebirds as they prepared to go.
As they prepared to go to prom.
You'd expect me to say that I saw it as trivial now, but I didn't. If the spring dance had almost gotten me a kiss and a date with Tyler Crowley, then prom would surely have gotten me at least one of those things. As it was, I hadn't even seen him. I'd only recently been able to take a plane ride home and had been resting from the effort ever since. A pile of homework and cards was scattered around my couch, the product of a lot of visits from the kids at school, none of which had lasted long before I was too exhausted to talk lucidly.
On the plus side, I was apparently very funny at this point and a lot of people made sequel visits to see what I would say next time. I was very popular. It was very odd.
With a yawn, I began flipping through channels, searching in vain for a good movie. I really wanted to watch Princess Bride again, but to get that I would have to call someone in. Isabella, her dick boyfriend, and Dad were all right out in the hallway but… I didn't feel up to dealing with them. The first two for obvious reasons and the last because he apparently had no idea how to deal with having a teenage daughter in the house 24/7 and was becoming very annoying with his sudden desire for small talk.
"Gen."
I glanced up and found Edward peering over the back of the couch, giving me a polite smile.
"What?"
"Want anything?" He asked. He'd been a lot nicer to me ever since I'd been attacked, probably afraid I would tell everyone what he was involved in.
"No. Go away." I continued flipping channels.
"Gen," this was my exasperated dad.
"It's ok." Edward muttered.
"I'm injured." I declared. "Injured, bored people can say whatever they want."
"Oh?" Dad said, starting to sound a little angry. "Why's that?"
"Because they can't be grounded." I said cheekily.
"That's a very nice phone you've got there." Dad replied.
I said nothing.
"Gen." Dad said.
"Yes?" I tried to keep my tone nice.
"Don't you want to see your sister?"
"Ok."
So they had a little parade in front of the television. Dad took pictures and then he made me sit up and take a picture with Isabella too. I fought off the suggestion that Edward get in with both of us but I think he may have sneaked in behind me. Afterwards, Isabella gave me a teary hug and Edward insisted on me telling him if there was a movie I wanted put in. I waited until my dad had left the room to get me my dumbbells—gramma style, two pound things: I couldn't lift much more—and then I chucked two pillows at the dick's head.
They left and my dad followed after, checking in five times to make sure I was ok being left alone. I might have asked him to stay: I was honestly terrified of being left by myself, no matter where I was. But he was going grocery shopping for me so I couldn't really say no. And my brain must have been getting used to the fear because the next thing I knew I was waking up to someone arguing on my front porch.
As I scooped up my wheelchair from beside the couch, I recognized one of the voices and found my stomach begin to twist uncomfortably. Tyler… I hadn't seen him since Spring Dance. We'd texted, sure, but every time there'd been an opening to invite him over I'd found some excuse not to see him. So why was he on my doorstep? And who was he yelling at?
I lifted myself into the wheelchair, thankful again that the casts around my calves both ended below the knee: at least I had a semblance of mobility. It was still a nightmare trying to maneuver around the couch and through the doorway without hitting myself. By the time I got myself within reach of the front door I'd begun to form a theory about the second angry voice on my front porch and I was now incredibly uncomfortable.
Jacob Black and Tyler Crowley at my door… And Tyler was the more unwanted. Could life get any weirder?
Oh, wait… I was attacked by a vampire. I hesitated for a second as I absorbed that thought. Yep… Yep… Yeah, life cannot be weirder.
I opened the door and the boys turned to stare at me awkwardly, their mouths open from whatever they'd about to say as they realized I had been able to hear them. I wished for a second that I'd had a free moment to actually listen to the words: I'd been concentrating so hard on not reinjuring myself that their actual argument had been lost. I got a good hint, though, as Tyler regained his composure, turned to me, and gave a disarming smile.
"Hey, Gen? Feeling better?" He barely gave me the chance to nod before he continued. "I'm here to pick up Bella for prom."
I opened my mouth to give a snarky reply but found I was dumfounded by his words. All that came out was a strangled, doubtful sound. I turned to look at Jacob to see if I'd heard right. We shared a look that, plain as day, said 'seriously?' Then Jacob shook his head, took a step back, and let out a deep sigh that said he'd seen this coming a mile away.
Then he punched Tyler in the jaw and clear off my porch.
…
Time stopped for a moment and then I found myself staring at the spot Tyler had just been while Jacob waved his hand around, hopefully not fighting off the pain of broken fingers. I turned and looked Jacob over critically, finally deciding he looked ok as I realized he was grinning proudly at me.
I shook my head and backed up a little to make room in the doorway. "Wanna come in, Jake?"
Jacob moved to walk past me and that's when Tyler chose to start yelling. He said something about sueing and about the cops and I think he threatened to tell my dad. Rolling my eyes, I motioned Jacob past me and, as soon as he was inside, I rolled onto the porch and stared Tyler straight in the eye and held up my cellphone.
"Blackmail." I said.
He looked at me for a minute, not understanding. Then his face turned scarlet as he remembered the party at his house and the drinking and Couch's dry season rules and my photos.
"You wouldn't… I thought we were friends, Swan." He raged.
I rolled my eyes. "I don't stay friends with douches, Crowley."
Then I wheeled myself back inside and slammed the door.
"Well that was interesting." Jacob said, looking around my front hallway awkwardly as I turned to look up at him expectantly.
"Indeed." I said. I turned away and headed back for the tv, finding that I'd only missed the first half of my movie. "What are you doing down here, Jake?" I asked as I started to lift myself back onto the couch.
"Dad sent me up here to give Bella a message." Jacob grumbled, coming over to hold my chair steady as he saw me start to slip. "Figured I'd check on you first."
"Does he really think there's any chance Bella would dump Edward?" I asked wistfully. Jacob gave me a funny look but, man, would life be easier without that creep. And less painful, I thought, easing my legs up onto the couch cushions.
"I don't know. And how did you know?" Jacob wrinkled his nose at the obtuseness of his question but I just shook my head.
"Billy and I talked about it too. And I have my own reasons." I looked at my hands for a second. Jacob came over and sat casually in my wheel chair, lounging carelessly, his long limbs sticking out in all different directions: the kid had grown a bit, now that I thought about it. Almost could pass for sixteen year old, if I was being nice. "Do you know his? Reasons?"
"No. No one tells me anything." Jacob glanced over at the tv. "I should get going, though. If I don't deliver his message, my car doesn't get finished."
"Oh, bribery, huh?" I teased.
"Says the blackmailer." Jacob laughed.
"Says the… punch…er?" I winced.
Jacob sat up abruptly, indignant. "Better than attacking my own sister."
I laughed. "It was a glass of juice!"
"Cranberry juice. That stuff stains, Genevieve." He shook his head, looking stern.
"It was juice!"
"And it stains!"
I bit my lip, fighting the laughter in order to talk. "Well, you… um… you…"
"Yes?" Jacob smiled smugly, watching me search for another accusation.
"You…" I paused, thinking. "You punched a guy."
"You said that."
"For no reason."
Jacob frowned, glancing over at the front door. "I had a reason."
"What?" I looked at him curiously. He shook his head and I sat up, grabbing one of the pillows under my feet and tossing it at him. "What?"
"Nothing." He said, but I'd made him smile again. "Smoker."
"Oh, come on! One time." I tossed another pillow at him. "Who told you?"
"No one…" He chuckled, seeing that I was trying to come up with his faults again. "We make a good pair, let's leave it at that."
"Ha."
I tossed my last pillow at him and then fell back onto the couch, abruptly tired from the excitement. With a groan, Jacob stood and stretched his long limbs. Then he started gathering my pillows and slipping them back where they belonged, under my poor legs.
"I should head out then." Jacob sighed. "They'll already be in the dance by now."
"Do you have to?" I asked, blinking a little sleepily as I looked up at him.
"I promised my dad." He steadied the pillows and glanced over at me. "That alright?"
"You could just wait here until she gets back." I pointed out. "So you don't have to deal with Edward?"
Jacob bit his lip, considering. Then he shook his head.
"No. I should go." He scooped my blanket off the floor and tossed it over the back of the couch, looking around to see if there was anything else I needed. "Wish me luck."
"Yeah." I sighed. There was very little hope that Isabella was going to listen. "Bye."
"See you."
He walked away and I began to pout as I heard the front door open and close. Then I tossed my blanket as hard as I could across the room and watched it fall uselessly onto the floor.
"Gawdammit." I muttered. "I am so bored."
I leaned back and stared at the ceiling, wondering if I should just slide my butt up the stairs and call it a day. Dad would be back soon but I wasn't really hungry. And he wasn't going to hang around anyway; he was going to be looming around the front room waiting for Dick and Isabella to get back, probably checking his handgun every few minutes just to make a point.
Whatever, I'll make it a movie night.
I swung myself off the couch again and hopped into the wheel chair. Wishing I had the energy to just use some stupid crutches, I turned myself around and began moving through the house. I frowned as I entered the hallway—I hadn't realized before how dark it got in here. Usually the three members of my little family left enough lights on that every part of the house had some small bit of illumination. Now I couldn't see anything and I was too lazy to go back down the hall only to spend ten minutes trying to find the light switch in the dark.
Besides, it was good for me, right? To face my fear?
I kept telling this to myself, not even bothering to switch on the light in the kitchen as I grabbed popcorn from 'Gen's drawer'-one low drawer next to the sink that Isabella through random food in—and scooted over to the microwave. There was enough light coming in from through the windows that I found the right buttons and got my popcorn started. Then I wheeled over to the table and stared out into the forest in our backyard.
The yard was one of my sister's favorite places to sit but I was now growing to hate it. After my… after what might have happened out on the lonely road by LaPush, all I could think of was what might be hiding in those trees. What could catch my scent if I stepped out to enjoy the rain and the cool wind in my hair. What might be watching me, glaring at me with jealous red eyes… I'd heard James scream and some primeval part of me had registered that he'd died. But Victoria? The redhead with scarlet eyes? Who knew?
I felt the fear begin to settle in, begin to force itself into my spine and numb my limbs with a shiver. The world was so dark and cold and scary and my home was dark and close and lonely. And sure, I was fighting, I was determined to break through all this but… but sometimes I wondered what I had to look forward to when I did.
My sister? My sister who would choose the boy she just met, a dick I did not trust, over me?
My dad? Who would never understand me?
My mom? Ha.
My friends? Sure, but they would never understand why I kept looking over my shoulder into shadows. Which brought me back to Isabella, who understood but ignored it.
Tyler? I sighed. Paul? Both of them had only let me down lately. Paul hadn't messaged me since that night, probably thinking I'd stood him up. Tyler was just a big flaky jerk. With a black eye. Ha.
So.
I heard the beeping of the microwave and groaned as I registered the smell of burnt popcorn seeping into my nose. I got lost in my thoughts far too easily these days. Awkwardly, I pushed myself over and retrieved my partially ruined snack. I didn't bother to open it, just set it in my lap and began wheeling back to the living room, still making my way through darkness.
So. I thought, going back to my reverie. So I'm in this by myself. And I can't fight it off: if those creatures are real and if they come back for me, I will have no chance. I looked down at my hand as I reach the door to the living room and the light of the only lit lamp in the house. Slowly, I made my way back onto the couch where I opened the popcorn and laid it to rest on the seat of my wheelchair, ignoring the kernels that spilled out and stained the seat with butter.
Carefully, I began to unwind the gauze I had wrapped around my right wrist. I was biting my lip by the time it was done, steeling myself against the sight and telling myself it wouldn't be how I remembered, that it was only a glass cut and my medicated eyes had imagined a bite. Now that I saw it, ages later, it would be clear that all my worrying would be for nothing. Vampires don't exist and the only thing I need to worry about it getting ready and healed for basketball next year.
The bandage fell off.
My shoulders slumped.
Clear as day, on both the back of my wrist and the front, standing out across the faint blue of veins, were the marks of the vampire bite, hidden above a matched set of angry purple scars from grabbing a shard of glass. They were silvery pink and pale and hard to see in the dim light but they were a matched pair of bite marks that no amount of arguing could deny.
My memories are real.
Vampires are real.
And I have two choices…
The front door creaked open and the light was flipped on, breaking my thoughts again. I turned to see my dad standing in the front hall way with a giant bag of groceries, wrinkling his nose as the smell of burnt popcorn hit him, too.
"Made yourself a snack?" he asked.
"Yep."
"Mmm." Dad stomped into the house, leaving the door open behind him. "Well, you've got a visitor."
"Yeah?" I sat up a bit, unable to quite see the front door or who might be standing in it.
"Just me." Jacob called, sounding distracted. He appeared soon after, lugging another giant bag of groceries. "Is this all for you, Gen?"
"Sugar is very good for mending bones." I defended myself.
"Charlie bought you three kinds of potato chips." Jacob replied, peering into one of the bags.
"Those are for Isabella." I lied. I paused a moment, checking that I could still hear my dad messing around in the kitchen. "You talk to Bella?" I said quietly.
"Yeah." He sighed. "And…"
"Nothing." I realized. "Yeah, I didn't think she'd listen."
"I'm just happy she wasn't mad." Jacob said. He disappeared for a second and then came back to sit on the floor by my couch so that we could talk privately. "It was a really weird message."
"Meh." I shrugged. "We're weird people."
"He's been really worried about you." Jacob said, after watching me get lost in thought for a minute or two. "My dad, I mean."
"What?" I swung around on the couch, scooping up the popcorn bag so that I could rest my feet on the chair.
"Well, you were on the phone with him when you went AWOL for your sister." Jacob pointed out. I shrugged and began to absentmindedly eat the popcorn, wincing at the aftertaste after every bite. "They all thought you'd been grabbed by that animal or something."
I kept my face very still. "I'd forgotten about that…" I said slowly. Forgotten—how could I? It was very hard to keep my emotions off of my face as I realized that if I'd listened to Billy and stayed in the car I would be at prom right now or, even better, would have been the one who got to punch Tyler. Instead of dwelling on this I patted the couch next to me, "Come on up, Jacob." I said crabbily. "I need someone to eat this popcorn for me before I make myself sick."
Jacob laughed. "Always in a good mood, aren't you, Genevieve?" He hopped on the couch and snatched the bag from me, spilling a good measure across my lap.
"Yeah. That's me. Happy, happy." I scowled and began brushing popcorn onto the couch and floor.
"It's nice." Jacob said, munching on the popcorn. "I don't have to pretend that I'm in a good mood."
"Oh!" I said, a new realization hitting me. "You had to go see Bella be romantic with Dickface."
Jacob chuckled as he winced. "Yep."
"Ugh." I said.
"Ugh." He agreed.
"I could punch her for you." I offered. "Fair's fair."
As I said this, a new bag of popcorn dropped into my lap and I looked up sheepishly to find my dad glaring down at me. I mouthed 'sorry' and he shook his head before stomping out of the room.
I turned to find Jacob laughing at me. I narrowed my eyes and he immediately threw his hands up. "Wait, wait! Don't kill me!" He said, laughing even harder.
"Give me one reason why not." I challenged.
"I brought you a movie!" Jacob said, hurriedly pulling it out of one of his ginormous sweatshirt pockets. "Donnie Darko! It's good!"
"Well, what are you waiting for then?" I demanded, still scowling at him. "Put it in!"
"I will!" Jacob laughed and hurried over to the tv.
"Faster!" I said. I tossed a handful of popcorn I'd taken from the crack in the couch and it landed in his hood.
Confused, Jacob itched at the back of his neck and looked around. I smiled innocently back and he went back to putting in the dvd. As he stood to come back to the couch, his hand went back to his neck and I carefully began looking for the remote, purposely not looking at him as I started the movie.
"Gen?" Jacob asked, watching the title screen pop up.
"Yes?"
"Why is there popcorn in my hood?"
"Because I missed your face." I said simply. Then I grabbed another handful from the couch and tossed it straight at him, bursting into a fit of giggles as it bounced off his nose.
"Oh, so that's how it is." Jacob growled. He grabbed the forgotten bag of burnt popcorn and practically bounced across the couch to hold it over my head.
I winced as the movement jolted my legs. "Ow! Ow! Injured person! Injured person!"
"Oh, shoot, sorry." Jacob lowered the popcorn and I kept my face down so he wouldn't see my eyes on his hands; 'just a little lower'. "Gen, are you ok?" He bent down, trying to see my face. 'Perfect.'
"Yep!" I exclaimed happily. I grinned at the surprised look on his face as I yanked the bag from his hands, reached up as far as I could, and ripped it open above his head.
Jacob's jaw dropped and he sat there staring as I began giggling even more uncontrollably then before. Then he began grabbing fistfuls of burnt popcorn from random crevices in his clothes and the couch and tossing them at me, bouncing several into my mouth as I begged him to stop.
"No, no, no!" I shrieked. I began throwing them back, but now that I didn't have the 'injured' card to pull, he was definitely winning. For every kernel I tossed he found another handful until finally almost all the popcorn was scattered between me and the side of the couch and he was forced to reach across me to grab some, his other hand reaching to pull down my arms as I tried to protect myself.
I squealed and tried to pull away, managing to make him lose his balance. Jacob dropped the fistful of popcorn and caught himself against the side of the couch, looking up carefully before he started to move, making sure I was ok. I tensed myself, suddenly not laughing as I realized that Jacob Black was leaning over me with his face inches from mine.
His eyes were wide and startled as they stared into mine and I took a sharp breath as his gaze moved over my face, checking again that there was no sign of pain. He was so nice. And kind. And thoughtful.
But I'm not.
So I shoved him off the couch and dumped the fresh bag of popcorn over his head.
…
We decided to actually watch the movie after that. It did turn out to be pretty good, but not quite the pick-me-up the two of us were needing. I checked my phone and found that it was only around 7:30 so I sent Jacob to slide in Beauty and the Beast.
I smiled as the familiar music started to play and leaned my head back, humming along as the effort of my 'fight' with Jacob began to catch up with me. I began to squirm a little, trying to find a comfortable spot on the couch where I could prop up my feet but still have room to lay down. Eventually, Jacob piled up the pillows in the middle of the couch for me and I leaned against them with my legs hanging over the armrest.
Sometime after that I drifted off, still humming along with Belle as I fell into dreams. I don't know how long I slept but when I woke up the house was quiet and dark and the tv had been turned off.
The thoughts I'd been wrestling with earlier began to return as I gained consciousness, not sure at first where I was, only knowing that my legs and arm and face hurt and that it was dark. I realized pretty quickly that it was the same old pain, but the subject had resurfaced and I could shake loose the dark thoughts from my tired mind.
What could I do if vampires came for me?
I mulled it over again, but came to the same conclusion. I had two choices.
The first choice had been offered and then lost. Become a vampire. Gain the strength and coldness to fight off the monsters and keep them from doing any more damage. Gain the ability to protect myself. Especially because I had no one to do it for me.
Second choice.
Die.
I pulled away from the thought but I knew it was more reasonable. Another vampire wasn't likely to offer me the choice of transformation like James had, especially if it was the jealous Victoria. And from what I'd felt in my wrist, after James had bitten me, the transformation was going to be just as painful as a death by angry vampire… So what then? Start carrying poison in my purse? Or a gun? And be ready to end myself before they can? What kind of hopeless thought was that? And yet that seemed like the best way, the best end, the thing to hope for if a vampire found me.
Become a vampire.
Or die a quick death.
I shuddered and shooed the thoughts away, longing for something else to think about.
I considered getting some food, but I was too comfortable to move, still in a half dream, half-awake state. The house was a little cold—I could feel a bit of a breeze on my nose—but my body was wrapped quite nicely in a blanket and Jacob was warm where I rested against him.
I almost moved at this realization, that Jacob had fallen asleep along with me and we'd somehow knocked all the pillows to the floor(not a surprise; I am a flailer). Now we leaned against each other, my head on his shoulder, his head against the top of mine. And I knew I should move away but he was so warm and safe…
Thoughts of death, of vampires and red eyes, of fangs and broken bones began to fade away as I thought of Jacob. Thoughts of my sister and parents and Edward didn't seem so bad either, really. Darkness was ok. My broken heart was ok. I laughed and felt Jacob stir beside me.
"Mmm?" He said, breaking out of a snore.
"Jake?"
"Gen?"
I snuggled closer to him and he yawned, wrapping a warm arm around my shoulder so that I fit better against him.
"Jacob, I know we're not best friends or anything…"
"Mmm." He was falling back asleep already. I could tell.
"But…" I hesitated before I continued, "…but thanks for punching Tyler."
"Anytime."
"Wanna go after Dick next?" I said, peeking up at him in the dim light.
Jacob smiled sleepily. "Maybe later."
"Ok." I yawned and smiled, feeling his breathing even out as he drifted off beside me.
And it was ok.
I was ok.
