Chapter 55: No need to say goodbye.
I land on my two feet with ease, only to then turn around and intercept the rock golem's arm with my bare hands, managing to stop it. Honestly? Fighting these things is starting to become easier and easier, as my strength grows progressively over time. I no longer struggle and fight for my life every day, and the possibility of defeat starts getting slimmer each time. As it should be! I've been working non-stop for so long! It was time I started seeing some sizeable results.
I feel the golem pulling backwards, trying to free itself from my grip, but instead I lift it up and slam it down into the ground, causing a small earthquake in the surrounding area. Still, I don't think this will be enough, so I quickly land a few powerful blows to it's torso, completely pulverizing it. And… yep! It's done. It can't move anymore.
As soon as I end the strengthening spell, I hear someone clapping next to me. I turn to see that, as expected, it's Croix.
"Impressive." She says with a smile. "I am very impressed."
"You are?" I smile back, trying to calm down my raising heart, but even with my newfound power, I'm still out of breath after all that training.
"Of course! You barely even got a scratch."
"Oh, it was nothing." I say modestly. "The exercise in the New Moon tower the other day was a lot more difficult."
"That's why I gave you a fitting reward." She smirks, giving me a suggestive smile, but…
"You… did?" Did I really get a reward? I thought Croix had forgotten…
"Yeah." She deadpans. "Don't you remember? At the showers."
The… showers? But…
"Oh." I feel my face burn as hot as the surface of the sun, and it has nothing to do with my excess of physical activity. "Ohhh. Right. I, uh… I remember." I give her a shy smile.
"Come on." She grabs my waist and pulls me closer to her, to help me walk. But honestly? I don't really need it. Still, the closeness is nice. "We need to take a shower as soon as possible. I have something planned and we have to hurry so that we have time before the ceremony."
"The ceremony?! That's today?" I exclaim. Oh damn! I had completely forgotten. I thought we still had a couple more days.
"Yeah, it's two days before the end of the semester." She makes a grimace. "Apparently so that we have time to clean up our dorms and present our thesis if we need to."
"You already did all of that…" I point out.
"Yeah… I'll be leaving tomorrow morning. I need to go to the University and start with the selection process." She gives me an apologetic smile. "I know I said I'd stay as long as I could, but…"
"I get it. This is important." I assure her, trying to dissimulate the pain I feel at the thought of her leaving so soon. Why hadn't she told me, anyways? Did she think I'd be mad? Still… I probably would have known about the ceremony's date if I paid attention to the school's announcements.
"Thank you for being so understanding." She says before placing a quick peck on my cheek that at least helps make my smile a little more genuine.
"No problem. I… I just want you to be happy. You know that."
Croix's gaze becomes softer upon hearing my words, and she pulls me just a little bit closer to her.
"You're the best girlfriend I could have asked for."
After taking a shower and changing into our uniforms, Croix and I make a way towards the North Campus, where she's prepared her "surprise". Knowing her, it's just ramen noodles as a substitute for the potatoes of the school, but… hey, I'm not going to complain. Today is the last day we'll be attending Luna Nova together, and we should make the most of it. If that includes breakfast just the two of us, then that's better.
Yep! Just as expected, once we arrive to our usual spot under the lone tree, I see two cups of instant Ramen and also some water. Not the fanciest of meals, by any means, but it's the sentiment that counts, right?
"Sit. I'll prepare our breakfast." She says.
"Did you at least bring something good as dessert?"
"I… there's no dessert in breakfast!"
"Says who?" I cross my arms over my chest and pout as hard as I can, knowing very well the effect this has on my girlfriend.
"I…" She sighs. "Fine. I brought you some cookies." She extracts a pack of Oreos from her pocket and shows them to me. With the ravenous hunger I have after so much exercise, I immediately try to grab them, but she quickly hides them behind her back.
"Gimme." I practically whine.
"Didn't you say they're for dessert?" She smirks maliciously. "Be a good girl then and eat all your food first."
"Ugh. Fine." I reluctantly agree, realizing I've been outsmarted and deciding to change the subject. "So… why here? You usually prefer to eat in your lab."
"I figured that, for my last day at Luna Nova, I might as well enjoy the scenery." She shrugs as she starts preparing our ramen. "And my lab isn't very romantic either, so… there's that."
"And you want this to be romantic?" I tease, unable to suppress the growing grin in my face.
"Well… we might as well enjoy this day to its fullest potential, right?" She shots back.
"I'm surprised that we still have our clothes on then." I remark. Usually, Croix is the one making the innuendos, but I can't help a little bit of retaliation when she's being softer than usual.
"Calm down your hormones." She rolls her eyes. "And you say I am the pervert in this relationship." Finally, she hands me a cup of ramen, already steamy and ready to eat. Not that I really like this thing, but at least she was considerate enough to not bring a spicy one.
"You are a pervert. That's a fact." I take the cup as I continue teasing her.
"Seriously, can't you see I'm trying to have a moment here?"
"I know." I concede, chuckling, and after a moment of smiling at each other, we start eating in silence.
It's not an awkward silence, exactly, but… I can sense we both have things to say, yet neither of us would dare to speak up first. I'm not afraid, not really. I know what I want to say, and I know what Croix will most likely say as well, but… this could very well be our last time alone for a long time and… I don't want it to end. I guess… deep inside I feel like if I can delay the conversation a bit longer, I can also delay its end.
"Chariot." Croix is the one who breaks the silence. "I… there's something I need to tell you."
"Oh?" I frown. Her tone sounds so somber.
"I won't be studying college here."
"Well, duh. There's no college in Luna Nova." I answer, assuming it's one of her dumb jokes. Or rather… hoping.
"No, I mean…" She sighs, putting her half empty cup of ramen down. Damn. This is serious then. "I applied to every university in England, trying to get into an engineering career, but… they won't accept someone of my background." She pretty much spits out the last word.
"A witch." It's not a question, but she nods anyways.
"I was afraid something like this would happen because of the outdated rules based on traditions that still persist on this side of the world, so I've decided…"
"You'll go to the United States." I try to smile, but it probably looks more like a pained grimace. By all accounts, I should be happy for her, but… I can't stop my heart from twisting into a painful knot inside my chest. It might be selfish, but I really don't want her to go so far away.
"Yeah… not yet, but… eventually." She tries to smile apologetically, but she can't even look me in the eye. "They are interested in my ideas of combining magic with technology to generate an infinite source of energy, but they said that if I want a scholarship I'll need something more concrete, so… I'll be working on that for a few months in a laboratory they have set up at Oxford, as part of a collaboration or something like that. Once I show them what I can do… well, I pretty much have secured a place at the Salem University."
"Salem? As in…?"
"Unfortunate name, I know." She chuckles. "But it's the only place with a leyline in the USA, and therefore the only place where magic is studied over there."
"I see." My lips form a thin line. I should be happy for her! This is the opportunity of her lifetime, so then why…?
"I know, I won't be able to visit often, and… I'll probably be too busy anyways, but we can still call each other if you get a cellphone." She assures me. "And besides, the first few months after I graduate I'll still be in this country, so…" She takes my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. "Don't be sad. It's not so bad."
"I thought you were supposed to be the pessimistic one here." I smile, trying to hide the pain I'm feeling at the prospect of not being able to spend much time with her so soon.
"Yeah, but… if I told you what I'm really thinking, you would be crying and… I hate it when you cry." She tries to chuckle, but it turns into a stifled sob. A few tears then start falling from her eyes as she tries to blink them away, but soon she has to let go of my hand in order to wipe her face.
"Croix…"
"I-I… I'm fine. It's just… I…"
"Look at me." I cup her face with my hand to try and make her look up, but instead she avoids my gaze, looking down before closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. I press our foreheads together then, trying to give her a little more comfort.
"I'm not ready to say goodbye." She admits with shaky voice.
"Then don't." I simply answer, faking a smile and trying to put on a brave face for her. Still, my words are genuine, and they bring me comfort as I say them. "There's no need to say goodbye. We'll be together again someday."
"Someday?" Finally, she opens her eyes and pulls away slightly, with a skeptical look on her face. "What, like ten years from now? When I'm finally a successful scientist and you've brought magic back to the world?"
Although I know Croix is trying to be sassy, I decide to shoot back with something cheesy.
"I'll wait for you for as long as I have to." It's as much as a passionate declaration, as it is a despaired expression of the unchangeable truth. "If it takes us ten years or twenty, or even a hundred to be together again… I'll still be here."
"Don't be silly." She looks away, her expression shifting between an attempt to a smile and a melancholic frown.
"I'm not. I'm just being truthful."
"No need to say goodbye, huh?" She looks back at me, almost amused, but her eyes still reflect pain on them.
"Yep."
"Well, then. In that case, I'll just say… I love you." She places a quick but purposeful kiss on my lips, barely giving me time to react. Although I would love nothing more than to turn our kiss into a full make out session, I know right now we're a little pressed for time, and it's probably best to leave it for when we have a little more privacy, so instead I grab her hand and scoot just a little bit closer to her.
"I love you too."
I startle awake when everyone starts clapping and I realize I probably fell asleep while Holbrooke was giving her speech for the graduation ceremony. Not my fault, really. She went on and on for hours and I'm honestly surprised so many people stayed awake. Even some of the professors seem to be actively fighting off sleep.
But I still try to pretend like I was listening and clap along with the rest. Not that it matters; second graders might not be at the back of the auditorium, but at least we aren't at the front either. I just hope that this thing ends soon!
"And now, a word from one of our senior students." Finnelan says once the clapping dies down. I resist the urge to groan loudly. "She graduated with exceedingly high marks and earned many recognitions, including the Moonlit Witch title and the Woodward award of Numerology. Her thesis, which she presented earlier this week, was also given the Jennifer award for her exquisite analysis of magical circles and their properties." Wait. I'm pretty sure there's only one student in the entire academy with such a good academic history. "Croix Meridies, please come to the podium."
Yeah. There she is, walking confidently towards the teachers and standing tall as she addresses the crowd. Not that I'm actually surprised she'd be given such a high honor, but… I'm a little upset she didn't tell me, to be honest. Just like she didn't tell me this is her last day at the school. She must have a good reason, I'm sure, but it still stings.
"Uhm. Hi." She says awkwardly as she faces the crowd. "And thank you, professor Finnelan for allowing me to be here. It's truly a honor." The professor just nods in response. "That said… I'm not really good at this whole emotional speech thing, so don't expect much."
Croix then makes a pause, clearing her throat and taking a deep breath before beginning.
"My dream was never to be a witch." Well… that's an unusual opening line. Of all the things I expected her to say, this one definitely wasn't on the list. "I always wanted to innovate and create and… just do scientific stuff, in general. However, my mother wanted me to be a witch, and this career really seems to be against innovation and technology, as you all have no doubt found out." She lets out a bitter laugh. "But we should not let old stuffy witches tell us what to do. The future is now, and it is ours to shape. And I'm not only talking about technology even if it's what concerns me the most; in my time here I met some wonderful witches that aren't shy about defying the rules." In that moment, her eyes lock on mine, and I can't help blushing shyly. "And it was their passion and unfiltered enthusiasm that inspired me to keep going, and to improve myself further and further regardless of what anyone thought." She gives me a tiny smile, and I promptly reciprocate. It feels like she's speaking only to me in this moment. "Now, as I'm about to conclude this chapter of my life, I can just say… Thank you. I hope we can continue pushing the boundaries of magic together."
People start clapping and I join enthusiastically. That wasn't exactly the kind of speech I expected her to give, but it was touching nonetheless, and I truly think it fits with what she's gone through in this school, so… it was appropriate in that sense. I don't think Finnelan would agree, however, judging by her angry face.
"Thank you, Miss Meridies. That was… quite an unusual speech." The professor says as my friend goes back to take her seat at the front row. "Now, to conclude this ceremony, some students will perform the Black Dance, as is tradition in this academy."
We all groan in unison at the announcement, and I immediately tune out. I certainly don't care to watch it! That's for sure. Why can't it be broom dancing for a change? At least that'd be more entertaining.
But anyways, guess now I just have to wait for the ceremony to end so that I can join my friend once more. The clock couldn't tick quickly enough.
"Croix! Croix!" I practically shove people aside before pretty much tackling my girlfriend, who somehow is able to barely remain standing despite my rather enthusiastic hug.
"Chariot." She chuckles. "Nice too see you too."
"I loved your speech! Very fitting."
"I was shaking the whole time, to be honest. I was expecting Finnelan to kick me out of the podium at any second."
"I wouldn't put it past her." I chuckle.
"I actually enjoyed it though." She smiles mischievously. "I would no doubt do it again."
"Hey, the best student to ever attend Luna Nova had to go out with a bang, right?"
"I bet Finnelan regretted giving me the closing speech." She laughs. "Not that she had much of a choice anyways."
"Yeah." I laugh a little too, preparing myself to ask the question I've been meaning to ask. "By the way… do you want to take a picture together?"
"Huh?" She looks surprised. Not that I blame her, because electronic devices are generally prohibited, including cameras, and I've never broken that rule before.
"My aunt sent me a camera the other day. She said she wanted me to take pictures at your graduation, so…"
"Oh! Uhm… sure?" She smiles awkwardly. "Maybe I should have brushed my hair better…"
"Nonsense! You look great." I say honestly as take out the camera and go to position myself at her side, attempting to point the lens in our direction. "Say cheese!" I quickly press the button to take the picture, and then look to see if the picture taken is good enough, but…
"You know, I bet it'd look better if we had heads." She says in the most teasing tone I've heard from her in a while.
"Shush. Let me take it again."
Click. Click. Click. Three pictures later and the images still don't look quite right. Either they're blurry or a part of us gets cut.
"Ugh! Why is this so difficult?!"
"Croix." We both turn to see that one of her roommates was the one who called her. I don't exactly remember her name, but it's the one with dark brown hair. "And… Chariot, right?"
"Yeah." Well, now I feel even more awkward for forgetting her name.
"I can take the picture, if you want."
"It's not necessary, Hitsume." Oh, so that was her name. "I'll figure something out."
"Actually…" I intervene. "It would be a great help." I smile awkwardly, handing the camera to Croix's roommate.
"But-"
"Aright! Say cheese!"
"Come on, Croix." I put my arm over her shoulders and pull her closer to me. "Smile! It's your graduation."
"Fine." She rolls her eyes before begrudgingly placing her arm on my shoulders as well and looking at the camera. "Only because your aunt wants a picture."
"Just admit it's because you love me." I tease.
"Never." She smiles, and the click of the camera sounds, capturing this moment forever.
Ursula sighed as she looked at the picture she had been staring at constantly for almost a decade, and that her girlfriend was holding now. The beginning of the end.
"What happened to us?" It was a metaphorical question, of course; one that she'd asked herself a thousand times before, but Croix answered nonetheless.
"Well… the next few years were some dark times for me. Getting into the university of my dreams was the only thing I cared about." She made a grimace. "The pressure and stress only grew as the day to present my project approached and… I mean, it's not an excuse, but it is an explanation."
At least this time she hadn't put all the blame on her becoming Shiny Chariot. That was progress, right?
Ursula then shifted a bit closer to Croix, leaving no space between them as she rested her head on her shoulder. It was just like the old times; them sitting on that old couch in the middle of the night, talking about everything and nothing. Except ten years had passed and the hurt of their separation still remained like the smoke after a fire.
"It was also hard for me." Chariot admitted, closing her eyes. "After you left… well, I… I felt lost and alone all the time, even when I was with my friends. I guess that's what made me spend more and more time doing spectacles in town."
"And less time studying, practicing strengthening magic or researching the words." Croix didn't hold back the accusatory tone in her voice.
"Yeah…" There was no point in denying it. "It was as if I couldn't find the energy to do any of that. All those things… they were ours, not mine."
"You relied too much on me." Chariot didn't even need to look to know she'd just rolled her eyes.
"I loved you."
"Loved?" When she felt Croix's eyes practically glued to her, she finally opened her own and met her gaze.
"The way I loved you back then was different to how I love you now." She tried to explain.
"I see." She visibly relaxed at her words. "I think. I mean… it's still romantic love, right?"
"Yeah, but…" She paused, trying to give some order to her own thoughts. "Back then it was more innocent and unconditional and… very unrealistic, really."
"Unrealistic?" Croix raised an eyebrow.
"I…" Should she say it? It was kind of embarrassing, but… "I wanted to marry you." She admitted before she could think better of it. Croix merely raised her eyebrows in surprise and then looked away.
"And now?"
"Now…" She had thought about it, of course. Not as a serious thought or plan, but more like a possible outcome to their relationship; a passing thought in the middle of the night that left her dreaming of 'what ifs'.
"I don't know. I mean… I wouldn't be opposed, but… you're in jail, and I'm still mostly living with a fake name in this little room at Luna Nova, getting paid slightly above minimum wage and… I just don't think the conditions are the best."
"Money isn't a problem, if you're really worried about that." Chariot raised an eyebrow at Croix's words, and she quickly rushed to explain. "I earned a lot of money over the years thanks to all my inventions, and I saved most of it."
"I… see." Now that she thought about it, it kinda made sense. Technically she also had a lot of money saved, from her time as Shiny Chariot, but… she'd feel bad for using it after the dream fuel fiasco.
"We could maybe rent a place in Blytonbury, or even buy a house if you want, and… hey, when I come back to Luna Nova, it'd be two people earning minimal wage instead of one."
"Wait… Does that mean you want us to get married?" That's what she'd insinuated, right? She wasn't imagining things?
"… No?" She tried to deny it, but the color on her cheeks betrayed her true intentions. "Look… I've thought about it, okay? Nothing serious for now; only castles in the sky, but… I'm just saying that, if in the future we do decide that's what's best for us, then… it's a very real possibility."
Chariot stared at her lover's flushed face, so obviously embarrassed and trying to hide her enthusiasm, but… she noticed. And she didn't really know what to do with that, except chuckle fondly.
"What's so funny?" Croix pouted at her.
"Nothing, just… our roles have been reversed, huh?" She snuggled onto Croix's neck and intertwined her fingers with hers. "Now I'm the pessimistic one."
"Well… I kinda have to be optimistic." Croix chuckled as well, but there was a bit of sadness in her voice. "I have to believe there's a bright future for us if I want to survive my time in jail."
"Is it really that bad?" She couldn't help asking.
"Not when I can see you so often."
Chariot felt her heart skip a beat at her words, and she blushed. They felt so honest! There was no hesitation at all, it was just…
"So you're a romantic now." She tried to tease her, but it was difficult when she was blushing herself.
"I know my way with the ladies." She answered smugly, looking down at her.
"You know your way to my heart." She looked up, meeting her gaze for a moment before joining Croix's lips with her own. And in that moment it was as if ten long years of hurt had never come to pass.
A/N: So... this is a bit of a time jump after the last one. Ngl, I actually did plan for more chapters to be between these two, but as they are mostly smut and won't affect the main story, I decided to skip them. If you'd wish to see them anyways, post a comment here and maybe I'll upload them in my fic "Some things can't be said out loud". Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this! See you soon! (hopefully).
Thanks to my beta reader moonwatcher13.
