Chapter 57: Shiny Chariot.
The trek to London wasn't so bad. Sure, it took a couple of hours, unlike going to Blytonbury, but I had already decided to skip classes that day anyways.
Finding the address on the card was a bit trickier, however, and it sure made me glad I had decided to come relatively early. It took a lot of asking for directions, but I finally found it and asked for Mr. Johnson, the name in the card. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long after that.
Then came a little interview with the agent who had contacted me, as well as two other people dressed in elegant clothes. They asked me exactly what I did with my shows, what I was trying to accomplish, and if I thought performing real life magic was a viable form of entertainment. I tried to answer as best I could, but I was a bit nervous. Still, by the end of the hour-long interrogation, and after asking me to perform a few spells for them, they handed me some documents and asked me to sign my name.
Now… I knew I had to read what they said. I really tried to. But… they were full of complicated terms that I didn't understand, as well as boring explanations. So, after a few minutes I gave up and just signed everything. We shook hands and Mr. Johnson asked for a phone number and an email in order to contact me.
I gave him the number of the phone Croix had left me, and promised I'd send him an email the next day. I was already dreading another trip to the Astronomy Tower, but now I had the added incentive to use the damned piece of technology.
I arrived back to Luna Nova late at night, but thankfully no one saw me through my invisibility spell as I made my way to the Astronomy Tower. Entering from the roof at least made the trip a little easier for my tumultuous heart, since I had only done that a couple of times before, and therefore it didn't hold so many memories. Still, as soon as I turned on the lights I was hit with the overwhelming sense of nostalgia and sadness that was so familiar now.
But I had to push past it if I wanted to make my dream come true.
And so, ignoring the heavy weight in my chest, I strode towards the desk, grabbed the two pieces of technology that had been left behind by my girlfriend, and sprinted towards my room.
In retrospect, I had been quite lucky that no teacher saw me on my way back to my dorm, but at the moment all I wanted was to get away from the Astronomy tower and make an email address.
My roommates were already asleep when I got back to our dorm, and Croix's instructions came in handy when I sat down at the desk and powered up the portable computer, so within a few minutes I was able to set up my own email account.
I knew the first thing I should do, of course; writing an email to Croix. That was the whole reason she'd left me this stupid laptop in the first place. But… still, my fingers hesitated over the keyboard, not finding the words to write.
It shouldn't be this hard! It was just like writing a letter, right? But… what could I even say? Croix was probably very busy at the moment and wouldn't appreciate unnecessary interruptions. Better keep it simple.
Dear Croix
I hope you're doing well in your new school.
Wait… was it even a school? Should I say college instead? Should I even be asking this? Maybe… I should start over.
Dear Croix
How have you been doing? I've been alright myself, but I do miss you a lot. Luna Nova isn't the same without you.
When will you come over? I hope it's soon. This long-distance thing is driving me crazy.
Did that sound too needy? Too desperate? Yeah… better erase that last paragraph.
You'll be pleased to hear I haven't gotten into any trouble lately, although my grades are suffering a little in your absence, but… I'll manage.
I have been doing spectacles in town pretty much every day. And it's been amazing. You should see the people's smiles! I've been making everyone happy! And today I even signed a new contract with a company that wants to make my shows more accessible to everyone in the world! It's like a dream come true.
I stare at the screen for a few seconds, reading over and over again what I just wrote. Everything seems alright except that last paragraph. I can almost hear Croix scolding me with a disapproving tone when she reads it. "You shouldn't be wasting your time with silly magic. You should be searching for the words, practicing strengthening magic and trying to improve your grades. I'm here trying to do actual important things and yet you just keep on with that childish stuff. Maybe I should get another girlfriend."
I'm not sure where those intrusive thoughts came from, but they sure strike a chord inside me. My chest is constricted in pain and I lean back from the screen to stare at the ceiling instead.
Croix wouldn't actually say that… right? She loves me, even if she loathes my little shows. She thinks they're a waste of time, and that I should be searching for the words, but… surely, I'm searching for the words no matter what I do, right? So far, all of them have come naturally to me. The staff reacts to my heart, and right now my heart is telling me to follow my childhood dream. Surely making people happy doesn't go against the teachings of the words of Arcturus.
No. I'm doing the right thing. But… I don't think Croix would see it that way. And after being apart for so long, the last thing I want is to upset her. Maybe… maybe I just shouldn't mention it. Not for now, at least. Perhaps if I find another word, then I can casually just say "Oh, by the way, I've been doing more shows than usual, under a contract this time. No big deal." And… as long as I'm still working towards getting the words, Croix shouldn't get too angry. I think.
Yeah… that's the best I can do right now.
And so, I delete the last paragraph I wrote and replace it.
I've been trying to unlock the remaining two words, but I haven't made much progress so far. I'll tell you when I find anything, okay? I've also trained a bit with strengthening magic, but it's not the same without you, so don't be surprised if I'm not in prime condition when we see each other again.
Still, I'm doing my best to accomplish my dreams on my own, just like you're doing right now. Hopefully, when we meet again, we can make our dreams grow even more by working together once again.
I miss you.
Chariot.
And with trembling fingers, I press "send".
After that, my life becomes a hefty mess. Between my contract as Shiny Chariot and my responsibilities at school, I was running myself ragged trying to balance it all, but… it soon becomes rather clear where my priorities lay.
I spend a long time with the design team trying to get my measurements for an outfit, as well as a good design for it. They want to make it primarily white to sell the idea of a "good witch", and while I don't have a problem with that, I certainly roll my eyes at the stereotype. I'm sure there have been plenty of "bad" witches that wore white, and even more "good" witches that wore dark colors. But I can see where they're coming from.
They soon settled on a bright red cape, to compliment my hair, but… it's the other colors of the outfit that are giving them trouble. They want blue, but they can't exactly decide on what shade. That is… until the color scheme reminds me of something.
Alcor is my familiar, right? And he promised to help me in my shows whenever he can. And he can turn into a hat.
And so, I show them Alcor's hat form and they really liked the idea, taking the light blue and bright yellow to complement the rest of the outfit. And so, soon enough, we have a fitting session.
It went about as good as I expected it to be, which is to say… not that good. Although the cloth they used is flexible and very breathable, and I really do like the colors and patterns they used, it's the overall shape what has me frowning and protesting for quite a while.
The cape is good. It's a bit difficult to move around with it, but I'm certain with practice I'll manage. The top is… rather revealing, with my chest and abdomen feeling quite exposed with such a low cleavage and that weird aperture that shows my belly button. It's also very tight, hugging my form in a way that leaves little to the imagination. And then there's the skirt. Oh boy. The skirt couldn't be shorter if they tried. I feel like my panties are going to show if I so much as walk, and I find myself tugging it uncomfortably to no avail.
"It's to appeal more to the public." My manager shoots me an apologetic smile upon hearing my complaints. "Same reason many brands use half-naked models to promote their products." He elaborates further, no doubt noticing my look of confusion. "You have a great body, Chariot. We need to take advantage of that."
I try to argue against it, but they're not relenting on this at all, and I end up huffing in resignation, but accepting my fate. It's just a bump in the road to fulfill my dream. Wearing a skimpy outfit isn't gonna kill me; I just need to get used to it.
At least they agree to make the boots a bit higher, in order to cover up my legs somewhat. That's… something.
The following days are then spent trying to come up with a name and design for my "brand". I don't really know what this all entails, but I end up insisting I'll present myself as Chariot, and not one of the many silly names they came up with, like "Magical Merlina". They wanted to make it catchier, however, in a way that's more marketable.
We're stuck there for quite some time, trying to come up with variations of my name, or titles that'll go well with it, but we come out empty… that is until I'm asked what's the name of my "wand", if it has one.
"It has a weird name." I admit. "Claiohm Solais, or something the like. I just call it shiny rod most of the time." I then add with an amused chuckle.
And that's all the breakthrough we needed, deciding that my stage name will be Shiny Chariot, and that my shiny rod, shiny boley (broom, in French) and shiny arc will be used in my spectacles and marketed as toys… if I become popular enough.
Speaking of which, we then spend quite some time in photoshoots and recordings, with me wearing my full outfit, as well as an unnecessary quantity of makeup, in order to get the publicity campaign started. They put me on large posters, TV commercials and even online publicity, and… it feels kinda weird seeing myself like that; as if I was some sort of celebrity. And for the first time, I also see just how beautiful I can be. I already knew I wasn't ugly by any means, of course, but I also never saw myself as someone particularly worthy of being praised for my looks… until now.
I could rival some of the most popular movie stars, if I'm being honest, and that's kind of surreal. It almost feels like the one in the posters, the witch that looks so mature and beautiful and sexy, isn't me. And… I suppose in a way she isn't. She's Shiny Chariot; the white witch that always has a smile on her face, laughter in her mouth and wonderful spells at her hands. She's worlds away from Chariot, the clumsy dunce that has been failing all her classes so far.
Oh well… I guess this contrast is probably for the best, to help me separate my stage persona from myself.
I'm not Shiny Chariot, I have to remind myself. I'm still just me; an ordinary girl from France's countryside. The clumsy witch that barely knew any spells a couple of years ago. Always with bruises on my knees, dirt on my clothes and twigs in my hair.
And so, the day of my debut comes sooner than I would have expected.
I spent the days leading to it practicing a few hours every day, getting used to moving around with this outfit and to casting the spells of Arcturus at my will. The later is surprisingly easier than I expected, feeling as my heart is very in-sync with the shiny rod as I go around doing flashy magic. I suppose it must have something to do with me finally living my dream.
The only downside of practicing, however, is that I can only cast a few spells at a time, so most of the time I just focus on the movement, using magic only once per rehearsal. But oh well, soon I have it nailed… I think.
It's difficult not to be nervous; pacing at the backstage, clutching the shiny rod until my knuckles turn white and the sharp edges dig into my skin, feeling as sweat collects in the palms of my hands and my stomach twists painfully in anticipation.
It's not like I've never done this before, I remind myself. I've been on the stage at the Samhain Festival. I've performed magic for a public dozens of times. I know exactly what I have to do and what I have to say. This will be easy. I just need to slow down my breathing.
Oh, if only Croix was here! What I would give for a comforting hug and a good luck kiss.
Except… she wouldn't approve, would she? She'd chastise me for wasting my time like this when we're so close to unlocking the Grand Triskelion. It's a shame, really, but what can I do about it? This is my dream, and if she can't approve of it… well, then I have no choice but to leave her in the dark about it. At least for now.
I'm pulled out of my thoughts when the announcer calls my name and I have to step on the stage, reeling in my nerves and taking a deep breath as I face the surprisingly large crowd that has gathered here; must be a little more than a hundred, which is more than I expected for my first time. And so, I muster up my best smile and with a flare and a few sparks of colorful magic, I greet them.
"Welcome to the world of magic!"
The show goes about as well as I had hoped; my rehearsing efforts bear fruit here, and there's barely any stutters or doubts as I go around the stage, waving the shiny rod around and making colorful displays of illusion magic. And what's best? The public seem to love it. They have awestruck faces most of the time, gasping and cheering at what they see, smiling happily once the show is over.
The only major problem I face is that, towards the end, I forget what I was supposed to say as my departing line.
"And remember…" I pause for a moment, mind completely blank with both nervousness and the high brought in by my performance. But… in that moment a few words appear in my head. Words that weren't on the script, but that I've said dozens of times before to an audience much smaller than this one, and that sound a lot more appropriate for me. Something I summarize perfectly what I'm feeling at that moment. "… A believing heart is your magic." And with the words Croix once said to me now passed down to the public, I disappear in a cloud of smoke, ending my first ever show as Shiny Chariot.
"I figured your catchphrase must have been something more… yours." Akko commented as the professor finished the retelling of her story. "It didn't feel like something scripted. It felt… special."
"It was something I truly believed in, yes." Ursula admitted, before taking a sip from her tea. "Ever since Croix said it to me… I cherished that memory." She smiled, but… it didn't reach her eyes. Not completely. There was an unspoken ache inside of her.
"Something wrong, sensei?" She asked worryingly.
"No, no, just…" She sighed, deviating her gaze. "I believe it was a poor effort of feeling a bit closer to my former girlfriend… but I probably ended up driving her farther away with it."
"… former?" Akko raised an eyebrow. She was under the impression the two professors had still been dating at that point.
"A-ah… well…" She stuttered, trying to search for words to justify herself. "We technically hadn't broken up yet, but…" Ursula sighed and her lips made a thin line momentarily, as hurt flashed in her eyes. "It's difficult thinking of us still being at a relationship after I became Shiny Chariot. It just seems like both things are mutually incompatible." She tried to explain.
"How so?" Akko didn't understand. They had still loved each other… right?
"Well… we barely saw each other at the time." She tried to explain as best she could. "And I was focusing a lot more on my career than on keeping in touch with her." She made a grimace. "I told myself that she probably was too busy for me back then, but… in practice it was really me who was too busy for her."
"I see…" The gears in Akko's head were turning as her eyebrows furrowed, showing she was likely overthinking stuff. "Did you ever regret it? The Shiny Chariot thing?"
"Well…" Ursula paused. That was a rather complicated question with an even more complicated answer. An answer that not even all the stars in the sky could make sense of, she was sure. "I… I wouldn't say that."
"But?" Akko frowned. As dense as she was, she knew there was something more there.
"Things aren't always black and white. Especially feelings about things that… maybe brought us and many people around us joy, but also brought upon a lot of suffering. You may ask if it was worth it after all, but… the answer is muddy. It's buried in the mess within… unreadable."
Truthfully, Akko didn't fully understand all of what her sensei was saying, but she got the gist of it. And… she wasn't sure she liked that answer. So, she kept inquiring.
"Would you make the same decisions? If you could go back?"
Ursula simply put down her tea and reclined back into her chair, looking up and thinking.
"No." She admitted with a sad voice.
"I… see." Definitely not what she wanted to hear, but at least her sensei had been sincere. Still… the news didn't do her well. Quite literally. She felt restless. "I… thank you for your time… sensei." She forced a smile as she stood up. "I'll go back to my room now, but… thank you. Again." And with that, she took her things and headed towards the door.
Once she heard the familiar thud, Chariot closed her eyes and sighed. She had promised herself she'd be truthful with Akko, but… it certainly wasn't easy. Her student clearly had an idolized image of Chariot; one that she had held and cherished as she grew up, not letting it go to save her own life. But now… now she was slowly poking holes into that image, wasn't she? Shiny Chariot hadn't been as happy as she seemed. Shiny Chariot had been dealing with a long-distance relationship burning her down from the inside out. Chariot… may not had taken the same path if she had a choice in the matter now.
Not easy to digest, for sure. Even she, knowing the whole story as she did, felt a bit nauseous now that she was forced to confront this part of her past face to face after so many years of pushing it into the closet full of skeletons where it was easier to ignore.
She was a coward, she thought with a wry smile.
But that was nothing new, was it?
A/N: Hey! Look at that, I manage to update within 15 days of posting the last chapter. Yay! I hope you like this one as well and that you continue to support this story by giving me follows/favorites/reviews. Thanks for reading, and see you in two weeks!
Thanks to my beta reader moonwatcher13.
