Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not mine and belong to Grey's Anatomy.
AN: I'm sorry this update took so long, really, but, as English is not my language I need extra time before post a chapter because I need my beta fix all my mistakes...
The guest who wanted Arizona's point of view, sorry, this chapter was written a month ago, but I hope you can see where Arizona's head is...
Thanks all who are reading this story. Thanks for all the followers, favorites, reviews and pm's. And an specially thank to "cycworker" for helping me to fix my errors. (I know is a hard work.)
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The unmistakable sound of turbines running invaded the plane as the engine started up. The murmurs decreased as the plane began to taxi down the runway, as a simple noise could put the takeoff at risk. Just a few minutes later, most of the passengers relaxed.
Arizona wasn't one of those passengers. Even though she had flown several times in the past, today was different. She tried to make herself as comfortable as possible in the cramped seat. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind..
She wasn't nervous about the flight. She knew that the the likelihood of dying in a plane crash was slim - she thought she remembered reading that the odds were around one in twenty million. And really, she was dying from a brain tumor. So the risk of death wasn't what was weighing on Arizona. today she had made some big choices that terrified her, and she couldn't stop going over recent events.
All her efforts to relax were fruitless. She decided that maybe listening to some music would calm her down, but not even her favourite songs were helping. Every song reminded her of recent events, leaving her further second guessing her actions.
"Are you nervous?" Arizona heard a soft voice at her side. She opened her eyes and noticed a little girl watching her hand. She followed the girl's gaze and realized that she had unconsciously tapping her armrest.
She smiled at her girl. "That seems..." Arizona instantly stopped her tapping.
"I was nervous too, but daddy says that people shouldn't be nervous on a plane. He says it's really safe, that if it wasn't he'd never allow me to fly, " the girl explained and looked at Arizona's hand, checking to see if she was still drumming on the armrest. "What's your name?"
"I'm to meet you." Arizona extended a hand to the girl, who giggled and introduced herself. "And your father is absolutely right, there's no reason for you to be nervous." Arizona winked.
"I'm Alysa. I'm going to visit my grandmother. My cousins are going too, but they're not in this plane. Where are you going?" The girl asked, her voice animated with curiosity about the woman seated next to her.
The question caught Arizona off guard. Of course she knew where the plane was going, but she wasn't sure where she would go once she arrived at her destination. "Are you on vacation?"
"No... I'm moving there..." Her headache was increasing by the minute and the little girl wasn't helping at all.
"With your grandma?" Alysa didn't notice the change on Arizona's expression as she continued to question her.
Arizona started to massage her temple, bringing one hand toward her nape in an attempt ease the pain. Alysa's mother noticed that something was bothering Arizona.
"Aly, sweetheart, please, don't disturb the lady. Why you don't color in the new colouring book that daddy got you?" The woman tried to distract her daughter.
"It's ok. She is not bothering me. It's just a migraine. It's not her fault." Arizona forced a smile, fighting with the pain. "You have an adorable daughter."
"Thank you, but as her mother, I know how annoying she can be... Believe me, if you have headache in ten minutes you'll be praying for her to shut up... I swear, she can't be quiet more than ten minutes..." The woman said while looked in her bag for her daughter's coloring book.
The girl didn't seem to have heard her mother. "Do you like to color?" She asked, turned her gaze over the book that her mother gave.
"I did, when I was young..." Arizona closed her eyes for a minute. But the girl's voice forced her to open them again.
"Mommy put my drawings on the fridge. Do you have some of yours?" Alyssa frowned, trying to decide what color she should to use.
"Yes, I do. I have several drawings, actually. Right now they're in my luggage."
"Do you have kids?"
"Alyssa, please... Just color, Ok?" The woman was right. She kept asking questions.
"No... My patients made them for me." Arizona watched the girl play. . "You're doing great."
Alyssa looked at her mother, confused. "Mommy, do you draw for your doctor?"
The woman laughed.. "I don't think that Arizona..." She looked at Arizona for permission before continuing. "is an adult's doctor. I guess her patients are children."
"Do you want to be my doctor while we're there? Dr. Thomas is my doctor when I'm home. You can be my doctor there...". Alyssa offered gently.
Arizona grinned. "Thank you honey, but even though I'm flattered, I hope you don't need my work." Arizona noticed the confusion on her face. "I'm a pediatric surgeon." She explained.
"Oh god... So no... Absolutely not. Nothing personal, of course..." The woman teased..
"Do you have any favorite pictures?"
"Ok, enough. Alyssa, come here." She sat the girl on her lap.
"Why mommy, I'm not doing anything wrong..."
"Yes, I have one, actually..." Arizona pulled out a paper from her pocket." Arizona showed it to the girl.
"The girl in the picture is sad..." Alyssa noted.
Arizona sighed. "I know..." She put the picture away.
"Why?" Alyssa asked concerned.
"Oh no, young lady. It's time for you to take a nap." She watched Arizona. "Sorry. I'll keep her quiet, at least for awhile."
"But mommy..." Alyssa pouted. "I don't want..."
"And I don't care. Arizona wants to sleep, just like the others passengers and if you don't stay quiet they can't."
"Alyssa, if you take a nap, you'll see your grandma sooner..." Arizona tried to cheer her up. "Believe me, if you - " A sharp of pain forced her to stop and she held her head between her hands.
"Arizona, are you ok?" Alyssa mother asked, worried. Arizona nodded slowly, without changing her position. The woman wanted to help, but she didn't have a clue what to do. "I can wake him up..." She said trying to touch the man who was sleeping in the seat next to Arizona.
"No... really. I'm fine..." Her voice was weak and she refused to open her eyes. "It'll pass in a minute."
The flight attendant noticed the Arizona's distress and approached her. "Ma'am, are you ok? Can I help you?"
Arizona's breathing was hard. The pain didn't want to go away but, she refused to let it win. "Just a glass of water, please..."
"Are you sure, I can ask for a doctor..." The woman gave her the water.
Arizona took a few sips. "I'm a doctor. Don't worry."
"Are you sure...?" The flight attendant asked again.
"Yes... I'll try to sleep the rest of the flight..."
"I'll be quiet. I promise..." Alyssa's voice was full of concern.
Arizona gently tilted her head towards the girl. "Thank you, honey. But this pain isn't your fault..." Arizona saw Alyssa's eyes and knew what the little girl was thinking. "We could take a nap together, so when we're awake we'll be landing.."
Alyssa nodded with a huge smile. "I'll take a nap, mommy." She said and closed her eyes.
"You sure you're ok?" Alyssa mother insisted.
"Yeah... thank you..."
"Ok..." She squeezed Arizona's arm. "If you need anything just tell me. Now rest."
Arizona sighed and tried to get to sleep. A new life was waiting for her.
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36 hours ago...
"Really, Teddy, Do we really have to talk about this again?" Arizona asked as she carried another box to the living room.
Teddy was following behind her. "Yes, Arizona, yes we do. We'll talk about it all day if we have to; I really want you to think about what you're doing.
"There's nothing to about. I'm leaving tomorrow, Teddy. You know that." She left the room and went to look for another box. "I'll put the items for storage over here." She pointed to a section of the room.
Teddy remained silent, watching Arizona setting the boxes and bags everywhere. As the trip was a sudden decision, she couldn't take all her belongings, so she was packing everything and Teddy would send her things when she was established.
In reality Arizona didn't have too many things there. Most of her things were in Seattle, although she didn't remember that. She just kept a few things that she never looked at, because it was too painful to see things from her past that had meaning she could no longer remember.
Arizona turned her head and saw that Teddy was standing in the doorway, watching her with her arms crossed over her chest. "Do you think you could give me a hand, please? I want to leave everything in order..."
"I'm concerned, Arizona..." Teddy asserted.
"The tumor" She repeated. "Arizona, surely this is a symptom of your tumor... You know that brain tumors impact behaviour, and you leaving the country the day after tomorrow with Adam is not normal. Not that long ago you didn't even LIKE Adam. You can't do this, Arizona."
Arizona was angry now. Teddy was thought that the tumor was the reason for her decision and nothing could be further from the truth. "I know what my symptoms could be, Teddy... and I am sure, given what symptoms I have every single day, that none are related to my behaviour..." Arizona breathed deeply, trying to stop herself from yelling at Teddy..
"Arizona, please... I need you understand me. All of this is so confusing... How do you expect me to understand that you want to leave the country with someone like Adam, of all people?"
Arizona shook her head.. "You never liked him." She stated
"You're right. I never did and I never will. He'is playing with you and you're letting him." Teddy said in disapproval.
"I'm not doing that! I'm not a silly doll to play with! I'm not stupid you know!?" Arizona hated when people questioned her intelligence.
Teddy knew that was a weak point for Arizona but she decided to push a little more. "Excuse me if I disagree, but you're not behaving in a way that seems all that smart... You're not a fool, Arizona, but you're acting like one..."
Arizona stared at her coldly and kept packing. "You can go." She said after a few minutes. "I don't need your help. I can do it alone."
"Arizona..." Teddy felt badly for hurting her friend. She didn't want to spend her remaining time with Arizona before she left London in an argument with her.
"Just go. I'll have everything packed for tomorrow so you can come pick it up. " Arizona said, not looking at Teddy.
"Arizona, come on... " Teddy tried again. She knew how stubborn her friend was." Arizona looked up at Teddy for a few seconds. "Headaches, vomiting, dizziness, fatigue, pain..."
"What?" Teddy asked confused.
"That are the fucking symptoms that I have to struggle every single day of my life...But I'm lucky that I have total control of my actions. So if you're thinking that I'm moving because the tumor, you're wrong. I'm sorry if you're disappointed.
Teddy noticed the change in Arizona's demeanor. "Ari... please... I just need you to think for a minute... I'm not saying that you're a dumb. It's just that this doesn't make sense... and you're not listening... You're my friend, Arizona. All I want is for you to be happy. He can't make you happy, and you know it. Callie makes you happy... Sofia makes you happy... but him? No, Arizona..." Teddy prayed Arizona would listen to her and come around.
"I don't want talk about Callie". Arizona said angrily.
"Why? Are you going to try to tell me that you're not in love with her anymore? Because I won't believe you..."
"Ok..." Arizona said, dropping one of the boxes in frustration. "You want to have this conversation? You want to ruin my last night here? Ok. Fine."
"All I want is to have a conversation, Arizona. Nothing else...I just need understand why you're choosing Adam when you want be with Callie."
Arizona sighed. "I'm doing what's best for all of us, Teddy."
"The best for Adam, you mean..." Teddy refuted. "You're angry at Callie because she didn't tell you about your past together, but Adam knew about it too and it's ok..." Teddy declared, upset. "She just did what I asked her to do, and more important, she did what YOU asked her to do..."
Arizona had forgiven Callie days ago, even though she hadn't told her that directly. Arizona understood Callie's reasons for not telling her about her past. That hurt Arizona, but she knew deep down that Callie wouldn't do anything to hurt her on purpose. "This has nothing to do with that." Arizona answered softly. She felt guilty about how things ended with Callie. She never let her explain what she was feeling, what she was thinking... but Arizona knew it was for the best. She knew she needed to end things with Callie and she wouldn't be able to walk away if she allowed Callie to talk.
"So please, Arizona, please tell me what this is all about... Because I don't get it..." Teddy exhaled, frustrated that conversation with Arizona wasn't going the way she had hoped..
"You don't need to, Teddy. This is my life and I get it. Why you can't just be happy that you'll be free... I'll not be a burden for you anymore..." Arizona said angrily.
"Oh, no... no... Arizona. Don't do that... Don't play that card with me. Do you hear me? You've never been a burden to me and you know it! Don't try to blame me for your stupid decision. We were friends before, and maybe you don't remember, but you know damn well that we're friends now, Arizona! I don't need a free pass to leave your life! I don't want it!" Teddy yelled in rage. She hated the way that Arizona was behaving.
"That's the problem! I don't want more pity! I don't want people to look at me and trying to see someone else, someone that I'm not anymore and I won't ever be again!"
"What the hell are you talking about, Arizona?"
"I was your friend, I was her girlfriend... I'm not that Arizona... I don't want Callie being with me expecting someone else... She would be always hoping that I could be the old Arizona, that Arizona she fell in love with years ago... You'll be expecting your old friend... and I can't... I can't live that way... Adam...Adam doesn't expect anything. That's why I'm leaving... I'll try have a new life... All of us can have a new life... Callie can be with someone who can offer her what I can't... No matter how I wish I could be the person that Callie needs I can't..." Arizona said, her voice faltering. It wasn't easy for her to leave at Callie, but she believed she was doing the right thing.
Teddy frowned. She was torn between anger at Arizona's wrongheaded thinking and sadness as she realized that Arizona was truly trying to be noble and do the right thing, even though her choice was completely wrong. "Arizona, listen to me. You're wrong. No one expects you to be someone else... because you're Arizona Robbins, and you always will be. You've forgotten your past, but, you're the same person... you're my friend because of who you are. Your kindness, your unselfishness, the way you always try to help everybody... how you care for other people... the way you fight to do what you think is right... That's Arizona... That's my friend. You were my friend. You're my friend and you will always be my friend... and Callie loves you! She's not in love with a memory of the past, Arizona...you know that... Please Arizona, don't do anything stupid just because you're trying to be noble... and don't let Adam choose for you either..." Teddy smiled sympathetically.
She was tired of fighting with Arizona. She knew her friend wasn't ready to be convinced and she didn't want to spend their last day together arguing. Although they weren't saying goodbye forever, she didn't know when they would see each other again.
"I - I'm ..." Arizona looked around. "I better keep packing... I don't want be up all night. I'll go to get more boxes." Arizona left the living room, not wanting talk anymore.
Teddy sighed in understanding "Ok... I'll help you with this," she said pointing to a pile of clothes next to her.
"Thank you. All those clothes can go in the donate pile." The bell rang. "Tedd, can you please answer the door? And if it's Adam please don't say anything to him!" Arizona yelled from the bedroom.
"I can't promise that!" Teddy answered sincerely.
Two minutes later Arizona came back to the living room with another box. "Teddy, look what I - " Arizona stopped herself. Teddy wasn't there. Instead, Arizona saw the faces of the two brunettes she loved most in the world.
"Hi... Teddy said she had something to do..." Callie said softly. "She let us in..."
"Hi..." Arizona answered watching Callie as she wanted read her mind. "Hello, Sof! No kiss for me today?" Arizona greeted the girl, who seemed to sense the tension between her mother and Arizona.
Sofia smiled instantly and ran to her. "Hi!" Arizona hugged the girl tightly.
"Look at you, you're bigger! I swear you've grown since the last time I saw you!." Arizona said watching at Sofia.
"And I'm feeling better, now. My fever's all gone."
"That's really good, baby." Arizona caressed Sofia's head.
"Why do you have all of these boxes here?" Sofia asked curious.
Arizona's smile disappeared. "Because I'm packing, Sof." She glanced at Callie, who remained in silence.
"But mommy said you can't come home with us for now..." Sofia said, confused.
"She's right... I'm moving to London..."
Sofia frowned and turned toward Callie. "Mommy, where is London?"
"It's another country, baby." Callie answered, fighting with her feelings.
"Is it near where we live?" She asked to process the information.
"No, Sof. It's far away from our home." Callie smiled sadly at her daughter.
"Oh." Sofia replied, disappointed.
"So... You're leaving..." Callie said with a lump in her throat
"I am." Arizona couldn't look at Callie. "Tomorrow."
Callie's eyes filled with tears. She knew Arizona's plans, but hearing it from her made it even more painful.
"We're going home tomorrow, too." Sofia declared distracted, as she searched through the boxes.
"Unless you don't want me to... I can wait if you need mo - " Callie's voice was almost a whisper. She didn't want Sofia to hear her mother pleading.
"Callie..." Arizona warned softly. She hated hurting Callie but she knew this was the best for day she'd understand.
"Arizona, please... you don't have to go... please..."
"Callie, don't do this. Don't do this….."
"Mommy, look!" Sofia exclaimed, getting the attention of both women.
"Sofia! Come here right now! Stop going through Arizona's things. It's rude. You know better!" Callie scolded her daughter when saw what Sofia was doing.
"But mommy, look..." Sofia insisted, not hearing her mother.
"I'm sorry... I didn't see her..." Callie apologized.
"It's fine... She's a curious girl. That's a good quality to have. It'll take her far in life..." Arizona laughed watching Sofia happily explore.. Now she wanted to know what the little girl was so interested in.
Sofia was shaking something in her hand. "Mommy, it's like yours..." Sofia extended her hand toward Callie, who carefully took the necklace from her daughter.
Arizona watched as Callie paled. Instantly she realized that Callie recognized the jewelry. Callie bit her lip as all the memories of Arizona and her in the past invaded her. She offered the necklace to Arizona without saying a word. The silence was a mutual understanding between them.
"Thanks..." Arizona said softly.
"Can I play with it, Arizona?" Sofia asked, not noticing the tension in the room.
Arizona looked at her but she couldn't speak. She glanced at Callie again just to see a tear roll down her cheek. Everything inside her wanted to comfort the woman she loved, but she resisted the instinct.
"Please..." Sofia begged. "Mommy won't ever let me have hers. She says that is very important to her... she says she got it from a very special person.." Sofia shrugged. "Is important for you too, Arizona?"
Arizona looked at Callie deeply. "I ... I guess it is..." Callie smiled sadly. Still, she was thankful that Arizona tried not break her heart, even as she admitted she didn't know the meaning of the necklace.
"Sofia, it's not a toy. Don't whine ." Callie warned Sofia.
"Ok..." She grumbled. "It's not fair..."
"I'm sorry. I was impolite, Do you want something to drink? Water, soda, coffee...? Arizona asked in an attempt to lighten the mood.
"No, thank you. We should get going." Callie answered quickly, not giving Sofia a chance to say something different.
"Already? You just got here..." Arizona responded, disappointed.
"Will it change anything if we stay longer?" Callie's voice was tinged anger.
Arizona looked down, knowing that Callie had a right to be angry at her. "You're right. I'm sorry."
"Sofia, say bye, Arizona. We need to finish packing."
"Why? I want stay longer..." Sofi pouted
"Sofia! We're going now!" Callie couldn't stay in the same room with Arizona for even a minute longer.. She knew this was a new goodbye and she wasn't prepared for that.
Arizona knelt in front Sofia. "Sof, honey, do what your mommy says... You two need be ready for tomorrow, it's a big day!" Arizona tried to cheer her up.
"You told me you'd come with us..." Sofia reproached, pouting.
Arizona closed her eyes and sighed. She'd hoped Sofia didn't remember that. "I know... I'm sorry... But I promise I'll visit some day, ok?" Arizona smiled gently.
"Don't make promises you won't keep." Callie said coldly.
Arizona decided not to argue with Callie. It wasn''t worth it. These were their last minutes together and all she wanted was to try not to hurt Callie more, if that was even possible.
Arizona hugged Sofia tightly and kissed her head. "Take care, sweetie. Be good for mommy, ok?" Sofia nodded her head into Arizona's shoulder.
"I made this for you." Sofia took a paper of her pocket. "It's all of us..."
Arizona frowned. "We look sad..." Arizona said softly, her heart heavy.
"Because you're not coming home..." Sofia's voice broke Arizona's heart.
"Ok, Sof, is time." Callie said when Sofia hugged Arizona again.
"Bye, Callie." Arizona contained her desire to run to Callie and hug her, too. Callie just looked at her with rage.
When the door closed Arizona broke down, sobbing. A huge sadness invaded her whole being. She was felt as though she was losing her way. When Callie and Sofia appeared in her life, everything changed. Now, she was leaving them behind. She couldn't breath as she realized that she may never see them again. Callie was right, she made a promise that might not be able to keep.
A wave of conflicting emotions took over her. But she had made a decision to try a new life. For however long she had left, she would fight to find happiness. She looked at the necklace that Callie had placed in her hand before she left and squeezed it tightly. Arizona sank down on the floor against the door. She buried her face in her hands and cried for was she kidding? She had found happiness and now she leaving it behind.
Saying goodbye to Teddy was hard. She was all she had for the last five years. Teddy was the kind of friend everyone hopes to have. However, it was time to release her, too. Teddy needed her life back.
They promised to talk every single day. And of course Teddy tried to convince Arizona not to go. Arizona didn't like goodbyes, so she asked Teddy not to come to the airport.
The lack of sleep and all the emotion of her departure resulted in a huge headache. She could barely keep her eyes open and she felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.
"You ok?" She heard Adam ask her.
"Yes." She wasn't in the mood to talk. All she wanted was to close her eyes and find that when she opened them again, all her troubles were far away.
"You'll feel better soon. The medicine will kick in any minute." Arizona just sighed.
"Sir. I need to make a stop before we go to the airport, please." Arizona said to the driver a few minutes later. She didn't even ask Adam first.
"Arizona, what are you doing? Our flight leave in a few hours." Adam pointed out angrily.
"I know." Arizona answered. She knew that they should be at the airport in the next thirty minutes, but she couldn't leave without saying goodbye at Callie appropriately. She didn't want leave Callie this way..
"Arizona, we don't have time. We need - "
"Excuse me, Where do you want me to go?" The driver asked, hearing the argument between them.
"Go where I told you, please. Thank you." Arizona answered gently.
"This is unbelievable" Adam said furiously.
Within ten minutes, Arizona was in front of Callie. The words didn't come out. She glanced at Callie, trying to hold back the tears.
"Arizona..." Callie whispered, overwhelmed. She gently wiped the tears from Arizona's cheeks.
"I didn't want leave without say goodbye to you. Yesterday you just went... " Callie looked at her, not saying a word. "I couldn't sleep... I just ... I can't... I can't go this way..."
"Just don't go..." Callie's voice broke. "Come with me, Arizona..." Callie begged.
"I can't..." Arizona sobbed.
"Why, Arizona? I don't get it..." Callie asked frustrated.
"Come on, Arizona! We have to go, now!" Adam yelled from the cab and asked the driver honk the horn.
"I have to go..." Arizona said to Callie, her voice breaking. "I can't be the person you think I am..."
"What?" Callie asked, confused. "What are you talking about, Arizona...? All I know that you're the person who I want be with..." Callie waited for a sign that Arizona changed her mind. When it didn't come she continued. "I promise I'll explain everything...I'll tell you everything... No more secrets, just give me a chance..."
"Arizona!" Adam was losing patience. "It's late for god sake!"
"I have to go... I'm sorry..." She kissed Callie's cheek.
Callie pulled Arizona toward her and embraced her with all she had. "Give us a chance..." She whispered in Arizona's ear.
"Let her go." Adam demanded, as she stood a few steps away from them.
Callie could hear Arizona sigh. "Stay with me, honey..." Callie asked, not releasing the embrace.
"Take care, Callie..." Arizona said and walked to the car without looking back.
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Though she had arrived in Seattle the day before, she hadn't resumed her regular routine yet. She had the whole weekend to try to adapt herself for Seattle again.
Sofia was at Mark's and Cristina called several times to go at Joe's for drinks and catch up but, all she wanted was to be alone. She wanted to come to terms with the fact the she found Arizona, the love of her life, and lost her one more time.
She needed time to cry without worrying that Sofia could hear her. She had been laying on the couch for two hours. She watched her phone when it vibrated. She sighed when saw that was a Owen insisting she join them.
The doorbell rang. Callie grunted as she stood up. "Come on, Cristina. You really don't know how to take no for an answer, do you?" She muttered to herself as she walked to the door and opened it abruptly.
"Hello, Calliope...
