Torchwood: Divergence
Book One: Dychwelyd
Chapter 26
Gwen headed down the alley after Ianto, only to discover it was an easement for deliveries that was open at both ends and the young brunette was nowhere in sight.
"Bollocks," the former PC swore softly, taking off down the shadowed lane in pursuit.
The delivery passage let out among a group of shops a few blocks north of Red Dragon Centre, most of which weren't open for business this early in the morning. She scanned the courtyard, spotted dark grey and crimson on a bench about six shops to her right and jogged that way. Ianto sat slightly hunched over with his head bowed and his hands clenched tight on one another in the gap between his knees. Gwen came to sit beside him, rested on hand between his shoulder blades and leaned forward somewhat to see his face.
"I've known you quite a while now," she murmured gently. "And I'm the first to admit you've normally got a lot stronger stomach than I do, or do a brilliant job of faking it. It's not any smell that's made you feel sick, is it? You were fine till the Weevils ran and Jack said something to you that I couldn't hear. And looking at him in the SUV is what made you go green. What did he say?"
Ianto shook his head and closed his eyes, his jaw clenched and brow furrowed as though he were in pain.
"Come on, sweetheart," Cooper coaxed, sliding over closer so she could put her arm around the age-locked twenty-six-year-old's waist and gently place her free hand atop both of his. "Talk to me, Ianto. What did Jack say that took all the light out of your eyes and upset you so much it made you feel like this?"
The grey suited Changeling was silent for a few more minutes, then he took a slow shuddering breath and opened his eyes to stare at the cobbled walkway before him.
"He said the Weevils were terrified by the Scieron part of me," Ianto finally confided, his words calm but his expression mirroring hurt and despair. "That it was a strange reaction to a benign race and he wanted me to agree. I told him I didn't understand what happened, that all I had were some of the Scieron's cells and their training to protect and defend, so I wasn't sure why the Weevils were frightened. He..."
The young Welshman's voice broke slightly and he paused to swallow hard, taking a deep nasal breath.
"He looked at me like I was lying, Gwen," Ianto continued quietly, a shiver running through his body. "Like I knew exactly what was going on and just wasn't telling him. His eyes had gone all shuttered and ice cold, and he said it was too bad Owen wasn't still around to suss out the truth from the Weevils... that maybe he'd be scared of me too and could tell us why."
He finally raised his head enough to meet his friend's worried gaze, once more looking like a frightened, lost child.
"I honestly don't know the answers," he whispered tightly, tears threatening. "And it was thinking about the silent accusation in Jack's eyes that made my stomach turn. He's the one who kept telling all of you that I wasn't a danger to Torchwood or the world. But he looked at me like I was a monster. He's the one who constantly obscures the truth about himself and has so damn many secrets they could fill Whitehall to bursting. Yet he called me out like I was lying and hiding things about the Scieron from him.
"It feels like he's wrapped something cold and dark tight around my heart that it can't break free from no matter how hard or fast it beats. I'm queasy; it hurts to breathe... almost like when I'd try to remember Hell after I first came back and my memories were blocked. I'm afraid if I go back to the Hub and see that same suspicion in his eyes when he looks at me, I'm definitely going to throw up and almost feel like I could have a seizure. I'd rather not do either. I thought we were good... what suddenly went wrong? What have I done make him look at me like I'm not safe to have around anymore?"
"Hush now," Gwen soothed, keeping the bubbling anger she felt out of her voice and body language as she hugged the twenty-six-year-old and gave his tightly clasped hands a squeeze. "We'll get it sorted. Just relax, yeah? We'll walk over in a little bit, come in through the TIC on Mermaid Quay. You go on to your room, get your head down for a span and try to rest, get your wind back. I'll deal with Captain Jack-bloody-Harkness and his short memory."
"I can't..." Ianto hissed miserably, hanging his head once more. "Not for a while. I just... I don't know where to go. I don't want to stay here in the middle of the shops, but I don't have a flat to go to anymore. And I really need to sit and let everything settle before I try to face him again or I'll lose it."
"Come on," Cooper urged, gently prodding her friend to rise and taking hold of one of his hands. "I know the perfect place to sit and listen to the wind for a bit. It's not exactly great for dates, but ideal for a little alone time."
"One of Jack's high, lonely places?" Jones whispered uncertainly, though he didn't make any effort to remove his hand from hers or go elsewhere.
"The best," the former constable nodded, moving at a leisurely walk in the direction of the bay. "I'll show you the spot, you try to bleed off a little of the panic you've got roiling your guts, and I'll head for the Hub. You follow whenever you feel ready, yeah?"
"Okay," Ianto agreed docilely, his voice less than steady and his face still overly pale. "You know... I'm not exactly like Jack... there are four things that can happen, that if I die, I'll never come back."
Gwen came to a halt at the street corner, looked up to meet her younger countryman's painfully unhappy gaze, her worried expression inviting him to explain.
"They all depend on Jack and they all end the same way," Ianto murmured shakily, actually cringing now. "If he ever rejects me for the love of another, if he somehow comes to the end of his immortality and dies before me, if he simply tires of me or otherwise lets our love wither away, or if he refuses to keep his promise to die for me every ten years. If any of those things happen, it will be my heart the Scieron Pledge Blade opens instead of his... and they'll burn their Shadows from my body with the fire of a Hell portal's light in response to the despair that brought me to committing suicide."
"Does Jack know that?" the raven-haired woman beside him queried solemnly after a moment. "Does he understand what his infamous mood swings and fits of 'Mr. Untouchable' could bring about if he doesn't pay attention? Is he aware of the fact that he can still lose you if he's not one-hundred percent behind the promises he made on the firing range?"
"He never asked," Ianto whispered miserably, rubbing his eyes with his free hand to keep tears from escaping down his still ashen face. "And it didn't seem like something to worry about until now. Everything was pretty much open and okay between us. Just some mutual concern on missions, bit of badgering on my part for him to stop leaving his dirty clothes all over the floor of the bedroom, that kind of thing. But at this point, after what he said about the Scieron Shadows inside me, the way he looked at me... he'd probably claim it's a trick of some sort. I don't understand why he suddenly thinks they're dangerous when he never mentioned it before."
"Your hands are like ice, you've gone pasty, and you're shaking like a leaf," Cooper pointed out, finally starting them across the still mostly deserted street. "I can see the misery in your eyes; hear the hurt in your voice. It's no trick, sweetheart, and I'll remind him what my right-hook feels like if he even breathes such nonsense. No, your reaction is very real, Ianto, and Jack needs to have his eyes opened to the fact that his old habit of using you for target practice when he's in a mood really has to be broken before he does something we'll all regret."
"Please don't quarrel with Jack," Ianto groaned. "Not about me. The two of you have only just started getting along the way you used to again."
"I don't intend to argue," the former constable smiled sweetly, waving to hail a taxi that was approaching, its sign lit to show it was available for hire. "I'm going to shove him into the Boardroom, explain why he's an arse – with diagrams if necessary – and give him the choice of making things right or spending several days completely starkers, all alone in the cell between Janice and Judy while you come stay with me, Rhys and the baby. One way or the other, he's going to get the point and stop torturing you. Hard way or easy is entirely up to him."
"This reminds me why I vowed never to get on your bad side," Ianto sighed, trying to smile as they both climbed into the taxi. "Just like the fist you planted in 'Captain' John Hart's smarmy face. Very eloquent."
"Roald Dahl Plass," Gwen told the driver, lightly jostling against her companion. "Cheer up, mate. I've got your back on this."
"It's whether Jack's going to get knocked flat on his that worries me," Ianto whispered, leaning his head back against the seat with a wince.
Cooper just smiled, green eyes flashing as she gave him a comforting pat on the leg and the taxi carried them toward the base once more.
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AN: Yeah, Jack's about to get an earful…
Another double post for the Holiday… I hope you all have a fun and safe New Year celebration, and that 2022 is nothing but kind to you.
Stay well – Stay safe.
Thank you to those reading the story. And thank you to those who have followed, favourited, and reviewed. NM
