Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Elder Scrolls Series or Skyrim. Uh, that's really it, I guess. I'm just a really big fan, that happens to be making online literature based on a 3AM idea. Well, multiple 3AM ideas really, but that's not the point. Point is, I don't own Skyrim, I just own this story. I think that's how that works. Maybe. Hopefully.

A/N:

'Dragon?!' refers to thoughts.

"Dragon?!" refers to spoken dialogue.

A/A/N:

I'm also going to change the city of Winterhold itself a little bit, because the size of it in the game itself is pretty pathetic. Once we get there as players, or since the beginning of the game, it's been 80 years since the Great Collapse. You're telling me that after all of that time, the townsfolk wouldn't be able to rebuild just a little? 4 operable buildings isn't realistic for an operable populace or a circulating system of commerce, even if trade in or into the city itself isn't all that impressive. I won't put too much, since it should still feel like they are still feeling the effects of the Great Collapse, but just a few more townsfolk and a guards' barrack wouldn't hurt. That, and a smithy, since it doesn't make sense for there to be guardsmen without a way to forge and maintain weapons and armor.

That will be all.

Or will it?


Remember when I said that I'm not exactly the best at directions or gauging distance?

No?

Well, allow me to reiterate. I am terrible with directions. I am terrible at readings maps. And, most importantly, I cannot properly gauge distance if it's not a moving object right in my field of view. My ability to visualize distance is horrendous at best, and I cannot stress enough that it is a bad idea to allow me to be the one leading a group of people with any sort of direction-determining duty.

Why am I saying this?

Well, here's the rundown: After leaving the mill and Gilfre sending us off, we went up to Windhelm for a couple of hours to get some supplies for the trip to Solitude. And by 'we', I really mean 'me'. Khajiit aren't allowed inside any city in Skyrim, because of Nords being incredibly easy to convince with racial stereotypes, and it's probably for the best that they didn't go inside Windhelm specifically. It's a cesspool of intolerance and ignorance.

That being said, my second time in Windhelm wasn't that bad.

I mean, there wasn't bullying of Dark Elves in the streets, but that's a low bar to pass for any pocket of civilization.

I was tasked with getting a lot of alcohol and alchemy ingredients for the caravan. We basically used up all of their mead and ale that night at the mill, so it was only fair that I be the one to restock the supply. The alchemy ingredients were just for a diverse inventory. They still had a good supply of weapons and armor, so they saw no need for me to lug back hundreds of pounds of weapons and armor alongside the other essentials.

I ran into Suvaris while I was walking through the market stocking up on essentials and through that conversation, learned a few things.

First, is that she works for the Shatter-Shield office in Windhelm, the rival company to the East Empire in terms of shipping business in Windhelm. This was a revelation.

Why?

Well, because the Shatter-Shields are among the most racist and bigoted groups of people in Windhelm, and that's saying something. Why would a Dark Elf of all people work for a bunch of intolerant, yet rich, fleabags?

I suppose we all have to make a living somehow. Desperation does cause many to make irrational decisions, but she didn't seem to be one to concede to that type of pressure. It makes little sense to me, but ultimately, I have no say.

Secondly, she seems interested in me. I would typically be oblivious to those sorts of things, and you may be wondering how I know because of that; but hear me out.

Ra'zhinda has this look she gives me every once in a while, whenever we make eye contact. Its this kind of squint and smile that comes on whenever she decides to tease me. Mostly by following the look with a pinch to my ass and a purr in my ear.

It was the same look Suvaris gave me when we had the conversation in the market. She was also being very handsy, rubbing my arm, leaning into me, so on and so forth. You get the idea.

I didn't realize it then, of course. I realized it after a couple of days and several pinches to my ass. That, and thinking about why she was touching me so much for a good week.

...

I'm not a very attentive person.

After my conversation with Suvaris in the market, I gathered the necessary supplies from the outside market and the somewhat snarky Altmer alchemist in the building next to it. He was coughing, and I offered to heal him with my magic, but he just told me to go about my business or get out. So, I took his advice. I quickly gathered the ingredients together, brought it to the front, and paid before he became angry and decided to fling fireballs at me.

Is it racist to assume that an Altmer would be well-versed in magical attacks?

...

Regardless, I wasn't going to find out if my assumption was right or not.

Making my way out of the market and out of the city, I waved to Oengul and Aval, both giving me a polite wave back.

I then made my way out of the city, to the stables, where the caravan waited for me. The same Altmer couple were there talking to Alfarinn, the husband furiously waving at me, while the wife scowled. The same as last time.

Once I got back to the caravan, we took some time to prepare the supplies on the cart, take inventory of all the things we needed for ourselves and for sale, then began our trek to the direction of Solitude. I had remembered that Winterhold was, what I considered to be, a small detour on the path to Solitude, and asked Ma'dran if we could stop by there so I could learn a thing or two about the Restoration school of magic.

He pondered upon it for a night, and it certainly didn't hurt that I mentioned it could open a little bit more business.

That night, we stayed by the bridge of Windhelm in tents, one for each member except me. You can imagine who I had to share with, and I certainly did not complain.

Eventually, after what I now think was pondering for the sake of seeming like he was actually thinking, he agreed to make the short stop in Winterhold. Unfortunately, he didn't know the way to Winterhold, and neither did the rest of us. So, with much argument and attempting to tell him that I could not read a map to save my life, he set me with the map and the role of leading us there, because it was my idea.

Suffice to say, he's made a mistake.

'Were we supposed to make a left somewhere, or a right? Wait, did I even take us North?', I was horribly, horribly lost. Subsequently, so were they and I cannot imagine that even they had expected the level of lost that we seemed to be.

I looked at the map that I've been staring at for the past half a day, and could not tell where we were on it, at all. It would be helpful if I could somehow track where we were at a location and it would be displayed to me on this map, but that's out of the range of my talents. Perhaps I could learn a pathfinding magic at the college while we stayed there? Gods, I hope so.

Just after leaving Windhelm going West, we passed by Anga's Mill, which I had marked on the map so that we had a landmark to use as a gauge for where we were. There's a hill to climb a little after passing the mill that takes us going Northeast to round the mountains, and we would eventually need to go Northwest after the curve for a straight shot to Winterhold.

Unfortunately, I had neither the sense of time for how long we've been walking since the hill, nor the sense of direction to go Northeast or Northwest. I just know the directions by name, and that isn't very helpful in this situation.

"Ra'zhinda, if you do not stopping touching my ass, we will not sleep in the same bedroll tonight. I mean it this time.", what was also not helpful was the fact that ever since we lay together, Ra'zhinda has made it a point to rouse a reaction from me every so often. More often than not, she will quickly get bored of the last reaction I made, and try another way to fluster me. I've tried to get used to it quickly, but as you can imagine, it's been very difficult to deal with.

She smirked knowingly, "You. Are. Lying. You will lay there with me again tonight, and we will do many, many things~.". The huskiness of her voice did not help the tightness in my pants lessen at all. Ma'dran and Ma'jhad snickered behind the two of us. Those bastards! They knew what had happened that night, and had since been encouraging the relationship, considering that all of them had bedrolls, except me! I'm sure they're hiding a spare one somewhere just to use this as material against me!

I sighed out of resignation, I will be laying in bed with her again. We will be doing many, very sexy things.

She giggled to my side, realizing that she had won, and I could not retort with any kind of reasonable response. It didn't help that I knew we would be on watch together right after said sexy time. What a dream and nightmare tonight will be.

"I think we're lost, I've not been able to determine where we've been for the past two hours, I've just been leading you guys straight this whole time.", I had to admit it at some point, and we'd been walking long enough for me to notice that the sun was setting, so this is probably a good time to tell them that we weren't close to the city. At all.

She looked at me with her brow raised, "No, we are here."

What?

I looked straight ahead, and saw it.

The city itself looked less like a city and more like a village, but with more broken structures and a sad atmosphere, like somebody punching a small animal. But the College itself was something to behold.

Large stone structure, the bridge being visible from far away, and the main structure of the College itself, being imposing even through the mist. While most of Winterhold lay in ruin, it seemed that the College itself stood steadfast against the difficulties of weather or even disaster.

No wonder the rest of Skyrim seemed to be so cautious about mages or the College in general, it would seem suspicious that a College that is dedicated to magic would be the most complete structure next to their seemingly dying town.

But I'm not here to be a paranoid Nord incapable of changing the way I think, I'm here to learn about how to better make use of my talent for Restoration magic for the benefit of myself and those close to me.

...

And find out if there is a pathfinding spell. That's also very important.

"So, how does this caravan thing work when the city is so open like this? Do you just sit a little outside of the city or do you have to go ask the Jarl about it first?", I ask, genuinely curious about this system that they have set up. It seems that the bounds would be arbitrarily made in this situation, one party or the other will draw an imaginary line of what they think being 'outside' of the city means.

It also allows me to determine how much mental preparation I put myself through in order to make sure that nobody hears what Ra'zhinda and I do in the night. I would hate for the townspeople to hear grunting and moaning, and complain to the caravan later on. I really wish we weren't loud, though. I originally thought we were quiet, but Ma'jhad wiggled his eyebrows at me one morning, and I knew instantly that we were the very opposite of subtle.

"They tell us nothing, so we just sit outside where we think is best and they pay us no mind. If they tell us to move, we move. Very simple.", as I said, arbitrary lines. Also, didn't really help to calm my nerves about the plans for the night, but I didn't really expect that all too much. It would've been nice, though.

"Great, so I'll help set up camp and then go talk to the College. Unless you need me for more?", I inquire to see if they'd need more help. In hindsight, it's a perfect set up to tease me.

He looks at me and smiles, "Well, I won't. And Ma'jhad won't. But you know who might?", his teasing tone and wiggling eyebrows very prominent. Damn you Ma'dran! I knew you would say that!

I look to Ra'zhinda, seeing her smirk and blow me a kiss. I feel my cheeks darken significantly before I decide it best to set up camp and get over to the College as soon as possible. It only takes a better part of the hour before all of our tents are set up, noticing that mine and Ra'zhinda's tent is now significantly larger than it was before. I looked at Ma'dran and Ma'jhad as they high-fived each other, and I realize instantly what has been done. And there's still only one bedroll! Well, nothing to do about it now. Par for the course, I suppose.

After we finish setting up the inventory for display on Ma'dran's carpet, I take my leave of them to head off to the College of Winterhold. With a name like that, it's easy to slip into the mindset that it would be intimidating as an establishment as it is physically. Hopefully, that isn't the case. I mean, I do hope that they have scrutiny for a high level of conduct, but not necessarily terribly difficult to understand or become part of.

I walk through the town of Winterhold, and notice all of the decrepit buildings on the side of the city nearest to the Sea of Ghosts. The very vibe of the city itself could be described in one word; desolate. Very few people out on the street itself, and those that were, looked at me with great suspicion. Or they were looking at the Khajiit caravan that I had just come from. Either way, they had this tight wariness to them regarding the unfamiliar.

I didn't bother going anywhere near them, though. I just made a straight path over to the college. It was my destination, after all. I took note of the important places for later, since I think that being on the road with the caravan would inevitably require me to fight and that requires better protection. Once I'm done with my business in the college, I'll definitely make my way to get supplies for the road.

Making my way to the ramp of the bridge, I notice a High Elf woman standing guard. She, too, looks at me with wariness and I think I sense some condescension from her as I approach.

And can I just say, she's TALL. I'm not of unimpressive height myself, but she is TALL. Are all Altmer inherently huge? She stands an inch or two higher than me, I can tell.

That's not important though, just a random observation to calm my nerves. Once I make it to the top of the ramp, the woman moves to meet me.

"Cross the bridge at your own peril! The way is dangerous, and the gate will not open. You shall not gain entry!", is it just me or is there something very rehearsed about what she's just said to me? As if it's specifically tailored for any newcomers to the college in hopes of crushing any attempts of joining for the unworthy. I'm not about to let it get to me though, I have a purpose to fulfill here.

"I'm here to join the College, and learn more about Restoration magic.", I state determinedly. Thus far, it's the only magical branch I know, and getting more experience in it in both theory and application would be a great boon for myself and those that I would support.

"Restoration magic?", her brow furrows and she rubs her chin in contemplation, "An uncommon branch of magic for those that typically wish to enter the College, but certainly not unwelcome.", her tone lightens into something that would be considered interest. Uncommon? Do people who study magic usually not know how to heal themselves? That's kind of stupid. It's so useful.

"Yes, I've recently discovered that I have some talent in it and currently seek to gain more knowledge in the field for myself and my comrades.", stating my intentions seems like a good way to have her gauge me properly, and hopefully gives her a good impression.

She looks at me, likely processing what I've just said.

"Is that so?", she asks, "Well, if you have the affinity to the branch that you say you have, then I'd like to see a demonstration of your Restoration magic. All mages that have any experience in the field know Healing Hands, a spell that allows the user to close the wounds of their targets. It's an Apprentice-level spell, but you've likely used it before, yes?", what? Healing Hands? I don't know any spells with that name. In fact, I didn't know the names of the spells that I'd used in my time in Windhelm or fighting those wolves. Is one of those spells Healing Hands?

I tug at the feeling of the magic I had used on Suvaris, and directed it to my hands, pointing them towards the woman. "Like this?", I ask as I initiate the spell. As I do, a light surrounds her, indicating the effect that it had on her.

She looks surprised, and she looks to me. "This is not Healing Hands.", damn. Did I just fail? "This is far stronger than that spell. When you said you had a talent in the Restoration school of magic, you certainly did not lie. Come, let us not wait any time. Though you are technically merely an initiate, as of now, this is a matter that I cannot answer on my own. We must go to see Colette, the foremost authority on it.", she speaks quickly, and I suddenly find myself unable to respond properly. Stronger? What does that mean? The spell really doesn't feel very taxing, so I just assumed it was a light healing spell.

She begins to make her way towards the College, and I find myself still standing as she moves. She notices quickly, noting my own surprise at my capabilities. "I almost forgot,", she makes her way back to me and stretches a hand forward, "Welcome to the College of Winterhold. You'll have to meet with the Master Wizard, as is custom, but your capabilities should be noted by the one who you will likely be working closely together with, now come.", she says as she uses the hand she stretched forward to grab my arm and jostles me quickly with her. Probably a good thing, I would have likely stood there in shock for a good time before I became ready and able to absorb any information again.

As we walk, I take note of her casting spells in the direction of the small circular wells of magic. I also take note of the state of the bridge itself, being rather damaged in some parts. She drags me to the final well in front of the gate, and casts a ball of light towards the energy that flows above it, a small tremor overtakes the platform. The gate of the college that has an eye on it opens, in a manner slightly underwhelming for the steps taken to enter it, but its not like everything could be so grand.

"These are the main grounds of the College, an open space that you can use for anything except Destruction Spells, you have to use the Hall of Elements, under supervision so you don't accidentally kill yourself and destroy a chunk of the College in the process.", I suddenly didn't feel very trusted as an adult or student at all. It sounds like they consider new members to basically be babies in terms of magic. Perhaps they have good reason, but it doesn't change the fact that it feels like they expect us to be unable to cast spells safely.

"You can meet the Master Wizard and tour the rest of the College after seeing Colette, no time to waste right now.", she drags me a sharp right from the entrance of the college into one of the towers. As we walk in, I immediately notice that the wells that were outside on the bridge was the centerpiece of the inside of the tower. Things were moving very fast, and I couldn't get a word in edgewise because of the urgency that she had been dragging me with.

It wasn't necessarily bad, but I'm really not being given any time to absorb the information she's just given me.

...

You COULD consider that bad, but I'm already in, so that just means its all uphill from here.

I'm dragged up a flight of stairs and into the doorway of one of the rooms. Sitting on one of the chairs in the room is an older Breton woman with short hair, reading what I assume to be a tome of magical knowledge.

Though, I'm led to think otherwise when she realizes that we're in her room, as she hides the book and quickly getting up to greet us.

"Faralda! What are you doing in here?! What would have happened if I was working on a spell and you came here unannounced? You could have been hurt!, she hurriedly says exclaims to the Altmer next to me, but I think I see a blush on her cheeks. I think we caught her at a compromising time.

"Dangerous? Please, Colette. The most dangerous experiment you could have been working on is a poison spell, and you've been finalizing that research for weeks in the Hall of Elements. You would not be doing that in your room.", good points, but also kind of condescending. Do all High Elves just sound like they're talking down to you?

Her face scrunched in discomfort, then defeat. "Fine, you're right. But that doesn't answer my question. What are you doing in here?", her tone defensive and somewhat hostile.

Faralda didn't seem to notice though, "This new student to the college has shown latent ability to cast spells in the Restoration tree of magic. I thought you'd want to be the first one to meet him. Though, we could always come back later?"

"No!", she catches herself, "No, I would like to be the first to greet him.", she then looks to me.

"I'm sure Faralda has already told you, but Restoration magic isn't commonly used. Most mages become acquainted with more interesting uses of magic, be it summoning atronachs with Conjuration magic, or incinerating their enemies with Destruction magic. Most users of Restoration magic are priests and priestesses. And you don't seem to be a priest.", she looks at me with a calculating gaze. Sizing me up from head to toe, she then looks at me expectantly.

"I'm not a priest. My name is Amos, and I come from a mill just south of Windhelm...", she nods at me to continue, "And I'm apparently more capable in Restoration than I originally thought."

She looks at me with a raised brow, "Apparently?".

"I only found out about my higher capability at the bridge with Faralda, I just thought I knew a minor healing spell because it didn't feel draining.", gesturing towards the Altmer watching our interaction from the doorway.

Colette looked me over again, and nodded in understanding.

"I see. Could you cast the same spell on me as you had cast on Faralda? I'd need to know what you're capable of before knowing what to do with you.", she has a point. I nod to her and take a step back, pulling at the feeling that had taken me over earlier today, and stuck out my hands towards her.

It takes a few moments, but I began to feel the familiar tingle at the tips of my fingers. The light dances around my hands and jumps to Colette, and as it does, her eyes widen.

"Faralda's right. You're gifted. Do you not know how you've been casting this spell?", she asks. I shake my head, and she rubs her chin in thought.

"You should be an expert-level Restoration mage with this spell alone..", she thinks a bit harder, "But we have not seen your fullest capabilities. I shall take you under my wing and show you a few tomes to really gauge your knowledge. To think someone so capable would be so clueless...", she mumbled the last bit to herself, but I still heard it. And that hurts. I know she probably didn't mean anything by it, but still.

She looks up to meet my eyes again, less hostile and more calculating. She stretches a hand out towards me and I reciprocate.

"I know Faralda probably already gave you the welcome, but allow me to officially greet you as a professor of the College.", she clears her voice and began to speak.

"Welcome to the College of Winterhold, Amos. I am Colette Marence, the head of research regarding Restoration magic. And you, friend, will be my apprentice."

I absorb her words, and give a response of my own.

"Thank you. I look forward to learning from you.", she seemed happy with the response.

"Good, now let's go meet with the Master Wizard and get you set up with your accommodations here.", she gestures for me to follow her as Faralda walks alongside us.

Being accepted was an arduous process of Faralda just dragging me around, but the acceptance culminating here was worth it. Walking alongside these mages gave me a sense of confidence that I would be in the right hands, learning and growing in my time here.

...

Should I have told them that I was only going to be here for a week?