/-

The third day was the hardest for Yeva. Fíli's pony was acting out, so she was passed onto Kíli. The younger prince looked none too happy since they rode together the day before as well. He was probably looking forward to a day of leisure, alone and comfortable on his pony and it was not to be.

They were giving a rather large berth to the forest, while not being too far off the road. Yet the forest was there. And where there was a forest, there were orcs, Yeva was sure of it; orcs and wargs.

She spent almost all of her time trying to breathe deeply through the nose. Kíli was shifting this way and that and she didn't know if it was because he was tired of supporting her in front of him or because he just had enough and wanted her gone; probably both. She would have offered to walk, she was sure it was doing her more harm than good to stay in the same cramped position for hours on end. She would have, except that she was afraid; and her hip hurt. But mostly she was afraid.

It was sunny and warm and the scenery was peaceful, if not pretty, but she was deathly afraid of what was following them.

So she was breathing deeply trying to ignore how every shadow seemed to hide the glint of a dagger and every breeze sounded like shuffling feet.

When they finally stopped for the night she was so tired, her nerves so frayed, that she couldn't even eat. She went into the bushes - with an escort - and came back to unroll her sleeping bag and just sleep.

/-

She was later told that she started crying sometime around midnight. How did they know when it was midnight?

She was having a nightmare and was sleeping so deep that Gloin, who stood guard, was not able to wake her. He woke his brother instead and together they just about managed to pull her up and restrict her arms from flailing and hitting her face.

This was how she found herself upon opening her eyes: held tight from behind while a stranger was scowling fiercely at her. She kicked and thrashed with all her might, but felt she wasn't doing much of anything. She wanted to scream for help, but couldn't. Her breath was stuck in her lungs and she was heaving, yet no sound came out.

With one mighty effort, she used her trapped arms as leverage and managed to strike true with her foot. Her attacker jumped on her and she felt crushed. There wasn't enough air! She was suffocating and wouldn't last long now.

She had to scream, she had to cry for help! Too late, he had a hand on her mouth. She tried and tried again and again. She thrashed and she bit, to no avail. In the end, she threw up. She tried to turn her head, to escape the hand. She couldn't. She choked and thought she would die.

What happened next she wasn't very sure. When she came to she was draped over Thorin and someone else was there too, looking at her.

"Is it over?" she croaked and Thorin said yes. They insisted that she rinse her mouth, and then he asked her to drink a small sip. She did so and felt better. "Stay with me?"

"I shall; be quiet now and rest."

The next morning he told her what happened. Gloin saw she was having a nightmare and tried to shake her awake. He couldn't so he woke Oin, who positioned himself behind her and pulled her up, not quite sitting, not quite lying down either. At that point she started to scream and woke up everybody. Gloin panicked and covered her mouth. She kicked and twitched, trying to escape, until she unbalanced him and he fell on her. She threw up, probably from his weight pressing down on her, but his hand was still on her mouth and she choked.

Oin managed to help her, but she was still not fully awake. As far as they could tell she did not recognize anybody, except himself. So he took care of her and talked to her until she calmed. Then he called their healer to check her over. Oin gave her water and they let her fall back to sleep.

By his reckoning, the uproar lasted only a couple of minutes, if that. She then slept through the night not letting go of him.

"What did you dream of?"

"I don't remember at all." She wished she could. She wanted to know what brought this on.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing." He was waiting and she debated a moment with herself before continuing. "I was afraid yesterday."

"Afraid?"

"Afraid." She remembered how it felt and shuddered.

"Of what? Why did you not say something?" Was he worried or mad? The smart money said mad.

"I'm enough of a bother, am I not?" She saw him wanting to argue and continued before he could. "Kíli and Fíli are already sick and tired of riding with me and I don't want to cause trouble. I'd walk, but my hip hurts. And it's not like I saw something. Just strange shadows and flickers of light. They looked like daggers - I think. "

"You think?"

"Yep."

"Daggers, not knives?"

"Not knives," she was positive.

"Do you even know the difference?" Was he laughing at her? It didn't matter, because she didn't know.

"Uh - no."

"You'll ride with me today."

"With you?" She was torn between hoping it would be possible and afraid the pony would keel over and die. "The pony cannot carry us both. I'm rather plump and you are not as thin as your nephews either."

He mumbled something about foolish women. "You are too thin as it is and if a pony can carry Bombur then it can carry us too."

"Maybe?"

"Do you not wish it? You can say so."

"I do, I do." She tried to compose herself and not sound too eager. "I do," she said more sedately, "if it is possible."

/-

Apparently, it was possible. Thorin relieved the pony of its burden, including the saddle.

He decided they would use just the blanket as it would give her more room to find a position that would not strain her leg or hip. It still wasn't terribly comfortable, but it was such an improvement she could hardly believe it. Not because there was more free space - there wasn't. Thorin was a lot thicker around the middle than either of his nephews.

It didn't matter though, because she didn't mind touching him. After almost three weeks together in her world, she was used to being with him. She knew the feel of his hands, after all the times he helped her up and down ladders and trees and rocks. He smelled familiar too and she could finally relax.

"I was feeling kind of lost these last couple of days. I missed talking with you," she said into his coat. If he thought about something else and didn't hear, that'd be okay too. She said it more for herself than for him.

"Tell me next time." He squeezed her a bit tighter to him.

"Okay. Do you think - uh," she paused, not sure if she should ask.

"Speak," he urged.

"I want to tell them more about me. At least that I am not from here." She could feel him tensing. "I cannot talk to your potes - your company, at all. I'm afraid I'll say something I shouldn't. And if I say nothing at all they'll continue to be suspicious."

"It is in our nature to be suspicious of outsiders," he shrugged, "but we cannot have that if you are coming with us." It was a statement but sounded more like a question.

"I am coming with you, of course I am coming," she wiggled a little to get a look at his face. "Look at me, will you?"

He did so, briefly, then turned his eyes to the road. "Better keep my eyes forward."

"It's your turn, Thorin."

"Hm?"

"Speak."

He chuckled. "It will be hard, you know that. Maybe being with the elves will change your mind." She made a sound of dissent, but he continued. "You already had a great shock and I am afraid more is to come. Gloin and Bombur and Oin took me to task last night." He was frowning, she felt it.

"They did? What for?"

"I should have known that you were not fully recovered after your run-ins with the warg and the trolls. Kíli too said you were not yourself yesterday."

Kíli said? "He noticed?"

"Aye, he did. You took everything in your stride and I did not think it would come back to haunt you. I thought there were no ill effects."

"Who knows? I truly don't remember what I dreamed of."

"It does not matter what was in your dream; you were releasing your fears. You almost died, twice in a row. It happens to all of us. In any case, they were right: I should have kept an eye on you."

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Uh," he chuckled a little, "I do not -"

"Not like that," she rolled her eyes.

"And here I was flattered," he was shaking with quiet laughter. "You wound me, my lady."

"Oh, shut up! You know what I mean."

"Aye, I do."

It was silly anyway. He was the leader of his people and some boundaries had to exist. But her peace was shattered and she started to dread the night to come. "You're right, I shouldn't have asked."

"'Tis the elves, is all. We shall think of something."

She knew there was nothing he could do and he knew it too, but still, she felt just a tiny bit comforted. He was a good man - a good dwarf.

"Will you tell them about you this evening?"

"I'd rather sleep first. I know I talk too much," she felt him shrug again, "and I should explain before I drop a bomb. It's just - I'm very tired."

"Then rest. It will keep."

"What, if anything, should I say about the book?"

"Nothing," he answered right away.

"Nothing at all? Okay, I'll forget it exists." He snorted loudly.

"I know it was my decision to find out," he said a bit later, "but I curse the day I asked for knowledge. I cannot look at them anymore without thinking of how this will end."

/-

By Gandalf's reckoning, they were going to reach Rivendell that same afternoon. Yeva was not sure what to expect. By and large, the dwarves were… not as described by Tolkien. She would have said they were normal people with normal concerns.

They weren't as described in the films either. For one thing, none of them was drop-dead gorgeous, not even Fíli and Kíli. For another none of them looked as dangerous as film Dwalin or as helpless as film Ori.

She was still ruminating on the differences between what she thought she knew and what was real when she saw another bloody shadow. It was getting annoying.

"Thorin?"

"Mhm"

"I saw something." The forest was now behind them. They were making their way through a rocky plane towards the Ford of Bruinen and on to Rivendell, although they were still a mile or so from the crossing point. She did think she saw something, but she was also twitchy, so maybe it was nothing?

"What did you see?"

"A shadow. There was something there." Thorin thought for a moment and steered their pony to where she pointed. Nope, not a thing. They both surveyed the surrounding area a bit before he decided there was nothing to gain from looking around. Not that there was much to see. The boulders that dotted the plain were quite imposing and it was impossible to see too far into the distance.

"There was something there, I'm telling you! Come on, put me down. I think I know where to look."

She didn't find any monster and was about to go back and apologize for being pig-headed when she stepped in it. "Th - Thorin?" She must have looked frightened enough that he was with her in an instant. The thing itself was unremarkable, feces rarely are, even when fresh and smelly.

"You are not to panic, you hear me?" He squeezed her hand and turned to signal Fíli and Dwalin.

In a matter of minutes, the dwarves dismounted and had their weapons at the ready, although nobody said a thing. Gandalf looked perturbed and the dwarves ill at ease. Thorin insisted she put on her backpack. It was light so it wouldn't hinder her when they would run and it would provide a little extra protection. He pressed Ben's long knife into her hands.

"Shit's about to get real, eh?" Nobody dignified that with an answer, although there was no shortage of raised eyebrows. Many months later she would learn that references to bodily fluids - or solids, as the case may be - were frowned upon. Dwarves cursed quite liberally, but some concepts were off-limits, most likely because it was how orcs spoke. Dwarves despised orcs.

The first couple of wargs were not accompanied by orcs. They sprung up from behind some boulders and Yeva wondered if all the shadows she had seen yesterday were wargs too. If true, they could be remarkably stealthy. Thorin, Dwalin, and Kíli made short work of them.

But they were not moving. Why were they not moving? She wanted to ask why they were not running away. Rivendell could not be all that far, could it?

She was clutching at the messer with such force her fingers felt painful. Breathe through the nose, Yeye. She tried to follow her advice; it didn't work. Her breaths were still coming too short and she was afraid she was working herself into a panic attack. Nori and Ori came to stand by her, backing her towards a large boulder.

No. No, no, and no. Boulders were not safe. There was a warg behind every one of them; and on top too, she was certain. The dwarves moved as one and closed in on her and Ori. She couldn't see anything around her. The blood was rushing in her ears and couldn't hear anything either.

Ori was giving her funny looks, pushing her weapon down at her side. Was he daft? The dwarves fanned out again, and she saw Radagast. Oh!

The rest of the orc squad started to come in before Gandalf could finish his conference with his wizard buddy. So much for building up suspense, eh?

Thorin was undecided for a moment there and Yeva felt herself tense and sweat anew. What were they waiting for? She was so focused on herself, that she didn't hear the call to move. Nori grabbed her left arm and pulled her with him. She forced herself to run.

She got good boots, better than anything the dwarves could muster. Her clothes too were top of the line, her pack hardly weighed anything. It didn't fuckin' matter. Her right knee would give out any moment now, the tape was not enough to hold it in place, she could feel it slipping. She tried to take off weight from it, to use her left. She couldn't.

She saw Radagast and his rabbits coming straight at them, the wargs after him. The fuck?!

Nori was dragging her by her left arm. She needed support on her right, for fuck's sake! She would not cry. She wouldn't!

A sharp pain shot in her knee and she stumbled. Ah, but Nori was there and knew his job. He yanked her up and forward right before she hit the ground. Her shoulder popped and the pain was much worse than her knee. She screamed.

They shoved her into a boulder. Hard. She screamed - tried to. "Shh, be quiet." Oin's hand covered her mouth. She struggled to breathe around his hand.

The bastards were fucking arguing! She couldn't breathe and they were arguing! She squirmed free from Oin's hand and elbowed him hard.

"Be still!" Thorin hissed.

"Wrenched my arm," she pointed at Nori. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. "Knee's done for, can't run," she mumbled.

The dwarves shuffled around a bit and now it was Thorin with a hand over her mouth, the other bracing her. She tried to turn her head to look at him.

What the hell? Then pain; she cursed. Her legs gave out.

Oin was done fixing her shoulder and Thorin relaxed his arms enough for her to breathe, then looked at her. "Quiet, I know." He nodded then passed her back to Nori. The jerk winked at her.

"Kíli, shoot!"

She imagined he did, because a warg fell at their fit, an arrow in his neck. There was a short scuffle and a couple of orcs joined the warg.

What the bloody fuck was Kíli doing? The kid had a death wish! Fíli too. She tried again to breathe through the nose to stop herself from retching. It didn't work. Kíli took point and shot a warg, then another. Fíli was at his back. They were going to die. She didn't want to see them getting killed, she couldn't. She closed her eyes.

A bad idea, if she ever had one. Nori and Ori moved as one and ran with her sandwiched between them. The first few steps were sheer hell. She had been taken by surprise and stumbled over every little hole or rock. She tried to mind her knee and sprained her ankle too. This time her bodyguards were vigilant, so they half dragged her, half carried her between them.

She could see Thorin in front. She could see most of the dwarves in front of her, come to think of it. Was she last?

"Fíli, run!"

Nori and Ori were really going for it now and Yeva remembered that maintaining herself stiff would help some. Like ballerinas did, right? Planking for the greater good!

"Where is Gandalf?"

They were again hiding at the base of a rock. She could see Radagast weaving its way with some wargs trailing him. He was useless. Not in the 'we'd be better off without him' kind of way, but he didn't know what he was doing. At least he was somewhere around.

She didn't remember the last time she saw Gandalf.

"He left us," one of them said and there was a string of mumbled - um - Kuzal? They were cursing, she was sure. She would curse too, but she was too tired and sore. There was more signaling with their hands and some words in their language, but no action.

She didn't like it one bit. Now that she had a moment to get her bearings she was ready to run. Well, maybe not run, but ready to be carried.

"What do we do now?" At least half of the dwarves were throwing her dirty looks. Why?

Dwalin took pity on her and explained. "Two of us are busy with you."

Oh. "I'm sorry. You should run." There were a few grunts, but nobody spoke. "Without me, I mean." The answer was a predictable chorus of objections. Ah, well, sometimes calculating odds was no comfort at all.

"You would risk Fíli and Kíli?" What was he thinking? "Don't be an idiot, Thorin."

Aaand got you! she thought with some glee. She could see him wavering. He really was a good man. The others were hesitating too, although she couldn't see the point of dithering. Fíli and Kíli might have been twice her age in years, but in truth they were probably exactly half. They were at a time in their lives where their worries should involve hot dwarf ladies and partying with friends.

Yep, calculating odds was no comfort at all.

"We'll fight," Fíli decided for the rest of them and Kíli agreed. Bofur gave her a pat on the back that sent her hard into Ori and even Dwalin cracked a … smile of sorts.

They were idiots, every one of them. They would die because of her, she could almost see it.

They fanned out a bit, leaving her and Ori flush against the rock. For long moments nothing happened, although there was a lot of shuffling and sniffing going on around them. The wargs were there, ready to pounce.

As fast as it started, it was over. Luckily she missed most of it on account of keeping her eyes tightly shut. The battle couldn't have lasted more than a few minutes when a horn sounded and the cavalry arrived. The elves were on horseback, all gleaming armor and swords.

The two groups were a tad hesitant to join against the orcs, but in the end their sense of self-preservation won. It helped that Gandalf was back with them. About time too.

/-