/-

Two days later Fíli and Kíli came to him to ask why Yeva was exempt from training. Especially since she was their weakest member. Should she not then learn to defend herself? She would be advised to, Fíli reasoned, seeing that running was not something she could do.

The youngsters spoke loud enough that everybody heard them, Yeva noted, not leaving Thorin any option other than agreeing with them. She felt so proud of them! She thought she could not have been prouder if they were her own sons. They had the right mental age to be, she thought wryly.

She put on her gloves and all the dwarves rolled their eyes at the same time - were they practicing for this kind of situation? No matter, she would not fight without them.

She chose to go with Bofur and Nori because they were easygoing and lacked pretensions. They would tell her what they wanted from her and that was that. They both smiled good-naturedly and bowed to her, and Nori winked for good measure. "Which shoulder is it to be today?" he asked and she cuffed him.

They were to go first, against Thorin and Dwalin.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Stay back and run if one of them comes after you," Bofur instructed. Nori just rolled his eyes. Indeed what else was she going to do?

"Sure, I got this." Easy peasy!

For the first few minutes she had nothing to do but move this way and that as the four dwarves hit at each other with rather thick branches. It must have been a warming up of sorts, for at some point they kicked into high gear. Thorin had Nori disarmed and Dwalin was about to do the same to Bofur.

Oh, well, Yeva thought, looks like I'll need to save myself. She laughed at the thought; even on her best day, she'd never outrun a sloth, let alone Thorin.

Only Nori didn't stay put and even without a weapon he tried to help Bofur deal with Dwalin. It gave Thorin an opening to come after her, but he took a moment to consider and by the time he decided between Nori and herself, she was already gone. She dropped down in the grass and rolled away as best she could, then hopped up and circled the three fighting dwarves on the far side of Thorin. By chance, she found herself behind Dwalin and poked him firmly with her branch. "You're dead, Dwalin."

Nori and Bofur looked at her for a moment before they both gave a shout of triumph and Bofur lifted her and twirled her around. "Atta lass," Nori said, patting her back.

/-

It was all good, except the rules stated that the losing team cleared the field and the winners continued. She had nothing against working in pairs, but she thought she would have been better served if one of them could have spent time with her and taught her some simple self-defense moves.

On the other hand, if Nori and Bofur were going to be tasked with protecting her and probably carrying her around, they might as well become better acquainted with one another.

Next up were Dori and Fíli. Dori looked a bit bored and rather put out like he had more important things to do. For himself, Fíli had a nasty look in his eyes.

What the bloody fuck? She looked at Nori, but he just shrugged and checked out his branch. He didn't seem to care and neither did Bofur, so she forced herself to ignore him too. Easier said than done.

Just as before Nori lost his branch after only a few moves and then retreated to help Bofur deal with Dori. Predictably enough, Fíli came after her, although he didn't repeat Thorin's mistake from before and kept his eyes on her all the time.

She couldn't run; she should at least try to last a few blows before she was left without her branch. The first few strikes were not so bad, but then Fíli started to move faster and faster against her, and he struck harder. She didn't drop the branch but felt the blow in her wrist and elbow. Putain!

The next blow was harder still and Fíli was advancing. He didn't look like he would stop. She couldn't take her eyes off him to see if she could perhaps run, she had to -

Fíli wasn't concerned with her branch anymore, for the next blow came on her shoulder. She would have thought the others would put an end to it, but no.

She panicked.

Fíli was close enough for her to strike now, but her shoulder smarted. She couldn't lift her right arm. He still had the same look in his eyes, something between contempt and a promise to hurt her. The little shit!

She kicked between his legs as hard as she could, without even looking. She mostly missed, but it was enough to stop him and he remained a moment with his mouth agape and eyes large, looking at her in disbelief. She took her left elbow under his chin and whacked him from below as hard as she could. Small beads of blood were starting to form on his lips. He did take a step back, but she didn't let him go far. Her branch was in her left hand now and she struck him across the face as hard as she could and then again on his arm when he lifted it to protect himself. She would have landed an extra blow too, were it not for somebody catching her arm from behind.

/-

It all happened in a moment, too fast to step in. He had been talking to Dwalin, commenting on how it didn't pay to go easy even on an adversary that didn't usually offer a challenge. They didn't watch what the others were doing until it was almost too late.

He did see the look in Fíli's eyes when he hit Yeva's shoulder. His sister-son had meant to harm her. Why, he didn't stop to ask himself. Dwalin too was up and they both ran to break their fight, but they were too slow. He flinched and felt her pain as if he was the one being hit. Fíli would be lucky if he could sit on his backside after he was finished with him.

What took place after was less clear. They couldn't have been more than ten steps away, but before they got there Yeva had bloodied his mouth and landed a blow on his nose too. Then on his own arm, which Thorin put up to protect Fíli's head. He doubted she knew what she was doing, struggling as she was against Dwalin while he was taking her away.

He dropped Fíli and called for Oin to see to him.

"Kíli!" Dwalin was back, having left Yeva with Bofur.

He too wanted a word with his youngest nephew and then with Fíli and then he'd see to her himself. "Did you know?" One look at Kíli and Thorin had his answer.

"You planned this?" Dwalin grabbed him by the front of his vest and was almost ready to strike him. "You planned to clobber a woman?" he hissed and Kíli trembled. It seemed his youngest sister-son did not think too much about what they were going to do.

Mahal, what could they have been thinking? He was not sure he could be reasonable in such a situation. All the same, the lads were his responsibility and he would not run away. Perhaps it was proof of his failings if they behaved as they did. "Who had the idea?" Kíli kept quiet, but Thorin had enough.

"Fíli did and you went along." Still, not one word passed Kíli's lips. "You will answer me," he commanded and Kíli finally nodded.

"Send them back," Dwalin was not one to mince words. Nor was he in the mood for handling them with gloves. He pushed Kíli aside and went to where Yeva was sobbing, clutching her shoulder and Bofur and Nori were beside themselves trying to calm her.

He too would go to her, but Fíli came first. His eldest nephew was in pain, his nose a bit crooked and swollen, and his lip split. "He bit his tongue, won't talk much," Oin announced. "I straightened his nose, but she broke it well and good, not much more I can do."

Kíli was hovering a few yards away, wringing his hands.

"What do you have to say for yourselves? Mind it be the truth, sister-sons, for Dwalin wants me to send you back. I shall if you cannot be trusted."

Fíli couldn't talk, but he could sign. What followed was a garbled tale of how they both felt it was unfair that they were treated like wee lads. They proved themselves already, would continue to do so, and did not need minders.

They could not adequately explain why they thought taking their ire on Yeva was a good idea. Fíli thought that for one, without her there would be no change; for another, she was the weakest member of their group, yet nothing was done to address this, nor was she punished for it the way they were.

Nothing made any sense and Thorin left them to clear his head.

/-

"What do you make of it?"

"We were wrong, others were right," Dwalin replied with a shrug. "She's in a bad way, thinks it's her fault."

"Nay," it was utter nonsense.

"Aye, she does." He could see Dwalin pondering what to say next and he waited. "Nori concerns me."

"Aye," Nori concerned him too. He didn't take anything seriously enough; he might just find himself shepherding Fíli and Kíli back to Ered Luin. "Bofur?"

"He did well."

They called the Ri brothers next. Dori was ill at ease for letting himself be a part of Fíli's scheme, even unwittingly; he would pay attention from now on, Thorin was sure of it. Dwalin less so. He made a point of telling them that he and Nori were the only ones of the Company, Yeva included, who made mistakes. Maybe their youngest brother would uphold the family name, but for the moment Dwalin was displeased.

Such talk would hardly have any effect on Nori, but Dori and Ori felt it keenly. Thorin knew they would try to make Nori see reason. Would it be enough?

Scenes from the storybook and the film flitted through his mind, scenes he had dismissed as fanciful then, if not downright insulting. Were they all as bad as described?

/-

"Are you well?"

"As well as can be expected. Oin taped my shoulder, although I'm not sure it will do anything for the bruising."

"You should tell him if you do not agree with him."

"Oh, I shall, if it ever happens. Oin is good at what he does and I trust him. I just don't remember if the K Tape helps with the bruising. Not to mention that it hurt like a bitch when he stuck it on."

Dwalin let out a surprised laugh from his place behind him and came to sit next to Yeva.

"What do you want to do with Fíli?"

"Me? Why me?"

His cousin shrugged, "you are the injured party."

"Smooth, Dwalin, nothing but smooth," she was shaking her head but smiling a little too.

"Dwalin is right. They will get their punishment from me, but you have a say too."

"I don't know what I want. Bofur said I broke his nose?"

"Aye, that you did. Remember the windpipe as well for the next time; also try to go for the eyes," Dwalin was all business. "Most of us can withstand a broken nose without too much trouble."

Yeva blinked a few times and looked at him rather doubtful.

"We'll work on it, lass, never you worry." He looked rather pleased with the thought.

"Aye, laddie," she smiled back at him and squeezed his hand.

Thorin had the distinct impression that he was an unwanted and unneeded third in their group. When did this come about? Dwalin always has been mistrustful of strangers, of women especially so, yet here he was, almost smiling at Yeva. He cleared his throat and his friend smirked at him.

"Should I send them back?" Thorin decided to cut into whatever communication passed between his two companions. They sobered instantly, the moment of levity gone.

"I gave you my analysis and I stand by it. However, now that I met your nephews, the situation is rather worse than I judged it to be. To recap - um, ah," she stopped and closed her mouth looking between him and Dwalin. "Permission to speak freely, sir?" she asked with a crooked grin.

Permission to what? It took him a moment to tease out her meaning. "Aye."

"Right. So if you send them back and you die, Dáin will be the next king. There's no way he'll give up the throne once he's there. Do you agree?" she turned to Dwalin, waiting for him to say something.

"You seem to have an interest in the line of succession," he hedged.

"Yep. Threat and defense analyst, remember? I cannot work without knowing the details. But do you agree with my estimation?"

"Aye."

"Now to your problem. Whether in Erebor or Ered Luin, if you die, Fíli is unfit to lead. He will be goaded into some dick-waving contest or another and he'll back himself into a situation he won't be able to escape. Do you agree?" she asked Dwalin again.

"Dick waving?"

"Uh - someone will say or do something that Fíli will take as a challenge to his - uh - manhood. And he'll react to prove his… capabilities?"

She did have a filthy mouth. Thorin threw a quick look at his cousin to see how he took it, but he did not seem to notice or care.

"What's this talk of Thorin perishing?" Dwalin was looking between them trying to understand what was not said.

"I cannot answer this question," Yeva replied quietly and Thorin saw Dwalin pale. Peculiar, to say the least. He frowned.

"Look, I'd rather you live," she looked him in the eyes, "Your nephews, now that I know them, I'd say that I care about them mostly because you care about them. Maybe they'll grow on me, who knows. But for the moment the situation is like this: either you or Dáin would make good rulers; Fíli would not. He needs more time to come into his own."

If he ever will remained unsaid. It was disheartening. "And his punishment?"

"I'll have a talk with Fíli and Kíli, and you two should also be present. This is their punishment as far as I'm concerned: they'll have to sit through a lecture in manners. Then we can all go on our merry way over the mountains."

"You believe I will allow them to continue?"

She didn't speak right away, but stood up and paced for a minute or so. "It serves no purpose to send them back - nothing that I can see, in any case. It's also too dangerous. They'll never make it back to Ered Luin. Do you agree?" she turned again to Dwalin and he nodded his assent.

"They'll be on watch duty each night," Dwalin said and Yeva laughed.

"About our deal - it's off. I'm sorry, but for the moment we'll just muddle through as best we can. I do see a case for you knowing more of my circumstances because you cannot manage without understanding what you're up against, but that's up to Thorin. Or he can tell you as much as he thinks it's wise and that'd be all."

Dwalin sighed, but nodded again, accepting her decision.

/-

He situated himself next to her that evening with every intention to let Yeva berate him for Fíli's misdeeds against her. She was singing softly to herself, in one of her foreign tongues and did not look like she wanted to stop. So he relaxed on the grass and waited. She did not sing well, but this one was a simple tune and it did not sound all that awful. A strange tune too, haunting and melancholy.

"What does it say?" He'd rather she be angry than sad. He did not know what to do to help sadness.

"It's a - a lament. I believe this is what you would call it in your language?"

"Ah," it was not unexpected and the melody fit. "What do you lament?"

"Luck."

"Luck?" he scoffed. What a strange notion, to make a song about luck.

"Luck. You see, when luck was apportioned everybody got bucketfuls of it, but not the one who created the song. That person was out working and only a cup of luck was left by the time they came back. Not the full cup either. Half of it was venom. Half of it was sorrow."

He grunted in reply. Her old world was a strange one for sure.

"In case you were wondering, I do not believe your actions and Fíli's are comparable in any way. I took you by surprise and I questioned your character - your honor, as you put it. I'm not excusing you, Thorin," she continued when he wanted to interrupt, "I'm just telling you that it's not the same thing. Fíli had at least a day to think about it and still got it wrong."

She gave him too much credit! To his shame, he did not think about it at all, not before Yeva mentioned it. He wondered how she viewed his family: his grandfather, mad with gold sickness; his father no better; he himself threatening - manhandling! - a woman because she was asking questions. Questions that given what she knew were natural, much as he was loath to admit to it. And his nephews, whom he raised as his own sons, were just now behaving even worse.

She had seen them at their worst. He prayed that she would see them at their best too. He could not stand to think that he would lose her respect - her care.

The next day he woke up before daybreak, probably because Yeva's hair was tickling his nose. She did not squirm out of her bedroll this time, there was no need. She was spooned with her back against him, his arm holding her fast to his chest.

He found Balin and Dwalin were up and smoking already, the younger brother waving cheerily at him, wiggling his eyebrows, the elder with a bemused expression on his face. No doubt Balin didn't figure out yet how to turn Yeva's presence to their advantage; or even only his advantage if it came down to it.

/-

That morning Thorin and Dwalin came to her with two downcast youngsters. She was certain they had been hearing plenty from their uncle and maybe the rest of the dwarves too.

"Lady Yeva," Fíli bowed stiffly, "I came to ask forgiveness for my actions against you."

"Lady Yeva," Kíli followed with his own bow, "I too came to ask forgiveness for my actions against you."

"You are forgiven, both of you," she said and looked at them with as much openness as she could muster. "Being old enough to know better but still too young to resist mostly sucks, as someone once said. I would like you to sit down and listen to my views on the matter, but I will not force you. It will be your choice." One look at Thorin told her that the boys didn't have that much of a choice, but she was still curious to see what they'd do.

Kíli sat right away and Fíli, to his credit, only took a moment to make up his mind and neither of them looked behind them where Thorin and Dwalin hoovered.

"Was it you who had the idea," she turned to Fíli, "or was it both?"

"Me alone," he answered without hesitation.

"Did you agree?"

Kíli mumbled something, a lot less sure of himself than his brother.

"Speak up, lad," Dwalin encouraged, none too gently.

"It is not right to harm a woman," he said, a little louder this time.

"So you did not agree because you had moral objections, is that right?"

"Aye."

"Did you go to Thorin? Or anybody else?"

"Nay, my lady."

"Did you think to go talk to somebody else?"

For a few moments nobody spoke, then Fíli answered, scorn clear in his voice: "my brother would never betray my trust."

"Is that so, Kíli?"

"Aye."

"Do you too, Fíli, agree that it is morally wrong to set out to hurt a woman?" That was a much harder question for the prince; his lips thinned and his brows drew together. He surprised her when he answered in the affirmative; a good surprise.

"Aye, it was badly done."

"I will remind you that you hired me as an analyst so here it is: you, Fíli, planned to do something that you knew was morally wrong. You told your brother, expecting him to keep your secret and also help you, all the while knowing that he too thought it was morally wrong. Would you agree so far?"

"Aye," Thorin replied for his nephews. They were all three of them ill at ease, although she would have bet that only Thorin knew what point she wanted to make.

"You will be king, Fíli. You will lead your people. You will ask them to follow you, to be loyal to you, even against their own conscience and morality; against your own conscience and morality. You did so now in a fit of pique because of a perceived slight." She threw a quick look behind the boys and sure enough, Thorin looked pretty mad. "So I guess the lesson is to not ask for such a choice of another, not unless it's truly the only way."

"Oh, aye, lass," Dwalin agreed, the only one cheered by her little speech.

/-

"Did you know what she was going to say?"

"Nay," Thorin answered curtly, hoping his friend would leave it at that, but no such luck.

"She's a clever one, I give you that."

"Aye," too clever. He should have known Yeva wouldn't want him there unless it was to remind him that he too was guilty of the same.

"Care to tell me why she as good as told you she won't stand for any, ah, dick-waving contest?" He scowled in place of an answer and Dwalin laughed loudly. "The lass looks better, sleeping agrees with her," he slapped him on the back, hard enough that Thorin grunted, and Dwalin guffawed again, but then sobered. "Be sure you know what you're about," he warned and moved to follow Fíli and Kíli.

/-

That afternoon she was excused from sparring. Both of her shoulders had taken quite a beating, what with the warg, and the trolls, and Nori's less than careful pushing and pulling during their run, and now again because of Fíli.

She did wonder if the little prick did it on purpose so she would be left behind. Not enough data points, Yeye, she had to remind herself more than once. It wouldn't have changed her mind either way about doing her level best to keep him alive, but bitterness and grudges, especially over imagined offenses, would only get her in trouble.

There were also major cultural differences at play. Some she could guess at, some would probably never cross her mind. While dwarves were said to be protective of their womenfolk, it did not mean that said women were kept locked in padded rooms. A statistically significant percentage of these women never married but decided to become crafters or even warriors. Maybe a blacksmith dwarven lady would have laughed at Fíli's attempts and taught him what's what.

So she watched their sparring. Made herself watch, more like it, because in truth it was kind of hard to see the blows coming one after another, some pretty close to important body parts.

She wanted adventure, she had adventure. She wanted to accompany them all the way to their mountain, then she better watch and learn. More than that, she should stop flinching like an idiot, because these blows were exactly what they'll see from the goblins in a matter of weeks. What she will have to take if all went well.

Wow, Yeye, you're looking forward to major pain - but only if everything goes fine! She was mad; she must be out of her bloody mind. But there was no other way if she and Thorin wanted to get the ring. In fact, there was no other way with or without thinking about the blasted ring. The goblins were there and they would have to fight them.

/-