guess what?! finals are doneeee, i'm a free bitchhhh


oOo

Diana watched the skyline of the city grow ever fainter with every jostling bump in the road. The low sun beat down on them, warming flesh and metal, and Diana had to wonder if it was that or the nerves that were causing her to sweat so excessively.

It would've been nice to know where they were going or if they were even headed anywhere in specific, but she didn't have the guts to ask, and could only hope her parents' suspicions were wrong. Entertaining the thought made her stomach clench with fear, which was nauseating in addition to the bumpy ride.

No one opened their mouth for the entire ride. Diana kept her ears alert to the front, but the two brothers were probably aware that she could overhear anything they chanced to say.

She really hoped she hadn't been too rash in trusting them. Now that the deed was done, all these doubts kept nagging her, adding to her anxiety.

The bow hummed pleasantly in her tight grip. No worries, it seemed to convey. No worries.

She wanted to laugh. She was taking pseudo advice from an inanimate object, but the hum genuinely calmed her down, so she couldn't care less and took what she could get. For lack of better resources, she spat a bit on the hem of her button-up and used that to clean off the dried blood from the bow, nose scrunched in disgust. The first thing she'd do after getting off the truck would be taking that top off.

They drove for a long time, the sunlight casting a blinding golden glow over them that had them shielding their eyes. After completely losing the city from sight, they took smaller side roads which led back to the forest.

Diana sighed - back into the woods with them. How much forest was there in Georgia anyway? But this place was much farther away from where they'd camped at, in the complete opposite direction.

They passed by a small wooden cabin with a plaque announcing its name; it looked uninhabited, and also like something out of a horror movie, but then again, every cabin in the woods looked out of a horror movie to Diana, so she was biased. To her relief, they drove down past it, not stopping at the designated parking spot.

Diana noticed her father perk up and look around them, scouting for danger, drawing a mental map. His head snapped from side to side like that of an owl, and Diana almost feared he'd give himself whiplash.

They finally reached their apparent destination; a small clearing, only about twice the size of the truck, a fire pit right at the center of it. 'Rifle' drove around it and parked so that the truck would be facing the exit, ready to skedaddle should the need arise.

Everyone was on high alert, scanning the area, searching for unnatural movement among the trees, any glimpse for proof of another human being or beings, even the undead kind, since that was now apparently an option.

Diana was hyper aware of every little chirp of a bird and rustle of the foliage. She went into fight-or-flight mode, blood rushing in her ears and pulsing in the tips of her fingers, adding to the bow.

Sam dropped down and motioned everyone to do the same, helping Irene by the waist.

Diana lingered a bit, hoping to eavesdrop on the two brothers, but they kept their silence until they climbed out.

Once everyone was on firm ground and facing each other, the silence grew awkward and tense.

Diana was waiting for someone to say something, anything, but she knew that nothing would come from her parents' side, so it would either fall down to her or the two brothers.

Her heart fluttered, still beating wildly and the sweat forming on her brow made her oddly aware of the grime on her skin, which was her brain's way of deflecting from the issue at hand.

She tried to summon the charm and polite friendliness she used with her patients and cleared her throat audibly.

Eyes turned to her, and she felt heat creep up her neck and settling on her cheeks. The warning gaze of her dad, in particular, made her squirm in place, but she swallowed the lump in her throat and whispered, "Someone's gotta say something, n'é? Or you wanna stare lovingly at each other the rest of the day?"

She saw her mom open her mouth to protest, but before the woman could get her word in, Diana took a step forward, past her dad, and stuck her hand out to the two men. She looked at them expectantly, a smile struggling to stick to her lips.

"I'm Diana. Lobo," she said with a small voice and cleared her throat again, cursing herself for sounding so insecure. "I know it's kinda late…? Maybe? To introduce ourselves properly, but I- uh, think we should try to... try to…" Fuck, she drew a blank on what she'd been planning to say, shit! "…We should start over, I think," she finished lamely and felt like slapping herself.

She just had a way with words, didn't she? Where did her eloquence go?

When none of them shook her hand, she let it fall to her side dejectedly, wiping the sweat on her jeans, and shifted her weight, face burning like a fever, eyes anywhere but on them. The purr of the bow did nothing to ease the discomfort.

The older of the two, with his close-cropped hair and face like he was recovering from a sunburn, barked out a laugh and nudged his brother on the side. "C'mon, boy, throw the poor girl a bone, I'm startin' to feel sorry for her." Did his voice always sound mocking?

They introduced themselves shortly as Merle ('Rifle') and Daryl ('Crossbow'), but exchanged no more pleasantries than that, as if they weren't worthy enough to know their last name.

Diana uncomfortably introduced her family and added, "If we're gonna like, stick together, we should make an effort to-uh, get to know each other, maybe?" in hope that would ease the distrust in the air.

It seemed cliché to think that way, but any good team functions best when you can trust each person with your life, in this case, very literally so. It would be hard because they barely knew each other and their first meeting hadn't exactly been one to tell your grandchildren about, but maybe, just maybe, eventually they would get there. It felt as likely as a miracle. Then again, Diana had thought the same of something like her bow, but there it was, her personal miracle.

"Oh, I intend to get to know you better, sweet cheeks," Merle drawled while licking his lips and leering at her with a twinkle in his eyes, "don't worry your pretty lil head 'bout it."

Diana's nose scrunched at the pet name and her stomach turned, but she didn't deflate, even when she heard her father seethe behind her, his hissed 'filho da puta' cutting gravely through the tension. She could imagine him being restrained by her mother, like a wild dog on a very thin leash.

"I don't think you wanna do that," Diana responded, hoping he'd catch her drift, 'for your own sake'. Behind her, Sam released a long string of swears and violent threats.

Diana glanced at Daryl, expecting him to be upset at the threat on his brother, but the man seemed to actually be on the verge of smiling while trying very hard not to.

When he'd had enough of watching him struggle to maintain his cool, he turned to her, "Damn, call off your guard dog, won't ya? We ain't savages," he said in what Diana guessed was the local accent, but less pronounced, "We're losing daylight, we gonna set up camp for the night and leave at sunup. Y'all up for that?"

Diana hurriedly translated for her parents. Irene and Sam shared one of the many looks that Diana didn't recognize and the latter nodded in agreement, although the scowl on his stubbled face showed he was none too happy about it.

But they didn't have much else of a choice, did they?

oOo

Despite her weak attempt at wanting everyone to get to know each other better, as soon as the final distributions of work had been done, no one made an effort to talk to anyone else, and it was frustrating to no end.

Diana was already shit at initiating social interaction, and if the other person, or people, didn't even attempt to make an effort, things would never move forward.

They changed out of their soiled clothes, the women doing so in the 'privacy' of a human barrier, and Diana even let them share on her no-longer-secret reserve of baby wipes. After that, she and the kids went gathering firewood, while Sam and Irene stayed back to set up camp and simultaneously keep an eye on the brothers since Sam didn't trust any of his children nor wife alone with them. Take the bow with you, Sam had warned, but shout if you need help and I'll come running.

They kept quiet and vigilant and didn't dare venture far from the camp nor each other, in fear that someone or something did find them.

Back at the camping site, they dumped each's share of tinder and kindling into the fire pit and let Merle light the fire. He struck a match and fed it dry leaves until it swallowed them and the orange and red flames licked at the branches in a warm and crackling display.

The brothers ate hungrily from tin cans they'd warmed by the fire, the undefinable contents and loud slurping sounds made Diana queasy, upsetting her stomach even further. She caught Daryl's eyes from over the flames as he licked his fingers and quickly looked away, feeling like an intruder of his privacy.

Irene and Sam impaled their three last bratwursts on some sticks and held them over the fire. They cooked slow, the skin blistering and charring in some places, but the meaty flavor filled every corner of her mouth and satisfied her grumbling stomach, and by the time everyone had eaten their share, the light of dusk was shining its last through the trees, giving it an ominous look, making every little critter skittering through the underbrush sound scarier than it should.

The warmth of the day gave in to a chilly night and they were forced to put on something warmer.

The fire was nothing but glowing embers by then, and the brothers sat with their backs to it, whispering, their forms involved in shadow.

"I don't fucking trust them," Sam whispered after taking a swig of water with his pill. He stuffed his medication back into Diana's backpack and shook the canteen to check the sloshing contents; that one was about a third from being empty.

Irene nodded in agreement, tucking her handbag behind her backpack. "Me neither. They're always whispering about something, always with their secrets," the woman said with a frown and a subtle glance in their direction. "Maybe we shouldn't have come with them." Sam sputtered, widening his eyes at her in disbelief. Irene slapped his arm. "Shut up, amor. I mean what I said before, but they still make me uneasy."

Diana rearranged her backpack and leaned sideways against it. "You know, we're also always whispering about something, doesn't really mean we're plotting murder. Maybe they just don't want us to overhear the hot goss', ya know?"

"Diana, don't joke."

She knew well enough that they hadn't had the best of intentions, but the difference between her way of handling and her parents', was that she was willing to give them the benefit of doubt, a chance to prove themselves, while they simply wrote them off as irredeemable.

"Hell, even I know we gonna be looking over our shoulder all the time if we're with these guys," Alice supplied.

"Yeah, well, we're here. That means you trusted them enough to make that decision."

"I didn't trust them," Irene confessed, "I trust you." 'don't make me regret it' Diana's brain added, even though there was nothing but encouragement in her mom's eyes. 'If this goes wrong, it's all your fault.'

Shut up, I get it.

Felix shoved his hood over his head, squeezing down the locs. "The Merle dude gives me the creeps, the way he was loo-"

Diana jabbed him on the side to shut him up, but it was too late, Sam was already looking undoubtedly murderous.

"I swear to fucking god, he tries anything, so much as looks at any of you wrong ever again, I will kill the motherfucker. I will wring his fucking white trash neck with my bare hands. I will-"

"We get it, pai," Diana interrupted with a small voice and gulped dryly. She wanted to say that he wouldn't, that something like that would never happen, but she didn't want to make promises that weren't up to her to keep.

She really, really hoped the brothers didn't try anything, she didn't want their blood on her dad's hands, because she was 100% sure he'd make good on his threats.

It took some coaxing from Irene to get him to relatively calm down, and then both came up with a shift schedule to keep watch. They had refused that Diana be part of it. They didn't outright say it, but she knew they thought she was biased, and so, only both of them were part of it; they would take turns of three hours and then switch.

Sam would be up first.

According to Diana's wristwatch, they lied down to sleep at about 22:30, give or take. The tree canopy allowed for the moon to peek through, so they weren't completely immersed in darkness.

Ah, there she was, Diana thought, looking up at its silver glow, the absolute love of her life.

With that in mind, the surroundings didn't feel so eerie and she tried to allow her body to unwind and relax, but it didn't work, not at all. The more she tried to blank her mind and try to fall asleep, the more the day's events sprang to surface and brought unwanted reactions with them, things she was trying to keep on lockdown for a while.

She heard Felix's soft sobs and felt him tremble against the small of her back. Her throat burned and the back of her eyes prickled. She wanted to comfort him, but what good would she be if she was on the verge of breaking down in tears herself.

To a bit of relief, she heard Alice's voice shushing him, whispering softly 'it's okay, it's not okay but it's okay, you get me?' and so on. The girl despised this sort of thing, but the effort was even more valiant because of that fact.

Diana turned onto her back. From the corner of her eyes, she could make out the silhouette of her two siblings in an embrace as the bigger shape shook in the smaller one's arms. The crying awoke Irene as if by magical call, and she traded places with Alice.

"Shhh, you're okay, papito, I'm right here, mami's here with you," they sounded like the words to coddle a crying baby, but they sounded so right, so warm and comforting, that Diana heard Alice shuffle closer and saw her dark shape cuddle up to her mother's side without a word.

Sam's hand emerged from the dark to pat down on Alice's curls, the girl trying to disguise a sniffle, and he leaned down, the sound of a kiss, and Irene's "I'm alright, mi corazón."

Diana stared up at the small clusters of stars she could see and took shallow shuddering breaths to calm herself down.

If she'd felt homesick at the beginning of the day, there were no words to describe how she felt now. She wanted nothing more than to go back home with her family. She wanted to lay down on her soft bed and laugh and tell her best friend Mariana how crazy boring those past two weeks had been.

She wanted all of it to be fictitious, unreal, a hoax. She wanted the world to be back to its normal, tedious ways, and she would go back to her normal, tedious life, and she would wake up tomorrow and the worst thing that could happen was having to care for a grouchy patient or having a colleague call in sick or even accidentally giving out the wrong medication to the wrong patient.

She wanted for Alice and Felix to live long and happily, and for her parents to die peacefully of old age surrounded by their kids and future grandkids.

But who cares about what she wanted, right? The Universe wasn't so kind as to give a fuck, it just did what it did.

The skies became blurry as tears filled her eyes. She had ignored the emptiness but now it threatened to swallow her whole. The heartache was too great, a physical pain in her chest. Everything came tumbling down.

And she cried, curled into a tiny ball, frame shaking and quiet sobs muffled to whimpers by her hands covering her mouth.

She berated herself for it; tomorrow would be different, tomorrow she would be stronger, but for now, she let herself wallow in self-pity and sorrow. She let it all out until she was emotionally and physically exhausted and fell asleep to the slow and deep beat of her heart, the soft hum of the bow at her side and the pale moonlight above.

oOo

Diana awoke later in the night to whispers and someone shuffling around.

The sky was dark and speckled, the moon no longer over them, the embers from the fire had long been extinguished.

She tuned her ears, stifling her breath and lying still; there was something in her backpack poking her behind the ear and it was uncomfortable.

Sam was switching shifts with Irene, she heard him ask once more if he should keep her company, but Irene whispered back that that would defeat the purpose of the watch and sent him to rest with a kiss. There was a sleepy whimper from Alice as Sam took his wife's place.

Diana waited, shivering slightly in her hoodie, and soon she heard her dad's snoring start up. She wondered if it would attract attention. She sniffled, the tip of her nose and fingers cold, and rose on her elbows, rubbing the spot behind her ear. She rubbed her face free from the stiffness the salty tears had left on her skin.

Being on the outermost part of the semicircle they'd formed, Diana faced only trees, seeing deep into the dark forest. She started at the sudden hoot of an owl and turned until she could see her mom's silhouette, sitting with her back to the truck to see from all angles.

Across the fire pit, by the end of the truck, Diana could only make out one figure, which meant one of the brothers was keeping watch as well. She could've guessed they would.

An idea started taking form in her mind.

She tried to inconspicuously lean over to squint at the lump, trying to identify it without rousing suspicion.

"What are you doing?" The faint whisper startled her and she scrambled to sit up, jamming her palm into a pebble in the process. The whites of Irene's eyes twinkled down at her from her post and Diana held her injured hand to her chest, rubbing the indentation to try and ease the pain.

Sam's words from earlier echoed in her head, don't approach them and never ever find yourself alone with any of them.

"I gotta pee," Diana whispered back, heart fluttering at the lie.

"Want me to go with you?" Irene asked and prepared to wake Sam to replace her when Diana shook her hands in dismissal.

"No, no, it's okay, I'll be close by."

"You sure? I can go."

"I'll be fine, mami, the only thing that can happen is me tripping on a root." She stood quietly and, with a warning from Irene, took the bow with her. She wouldn't be able to see what the hell she was shooting, but if it eased her mind, so be it.

She disappeared around the truck and took a moment to breathe deeply. Shit.

What now? If Merle was on watch, she could forget it; of the two brothers, she trusted him the least. No way in hell she would go talk to him in the middle of the night. She didn't know if he had rapey tendencies, but his sexual innuendos until now had been enough to make her inner alarms go off, and she didn't want to risk it by giving him the perfect setting.

Daryl gave off a different vibe. He was still rude and painfully blunt, but she appreciated his honesty, and she knew no matter how rude he was to her, he would never be able to surpass Alice on that aspect. He felt genuine. She had no idea how or why, but by looking at him she had the feeling that he always spoke the truth, that he was easy to trust.

Shit, please let her parents be wrong about her blind naivety.

Another deep breath, a reassuring thrum resonating through her body, and she was semi-ready to go through with her dumb, ill-advised plan, as they all seemed to be. She needed to work on her track record.

Diana tiptoed to the back of the truck, where she saw the single orange glow of a cigarette. She almost sighed in relief when she saw it was Daryl. Still, her heart was almost about to give out and she still needed to work up the courage to talk to him; the anxiety was taking a toll on her.

She tightened the hoodie around her neck by the ties, going through the conversation starters in her mind, picking something that didn't sound as ridiculously embarrassing as she felt. Her next step happened to be louder than before, which alerted Daryl to her presence and she found herself with a crossbow pointed between her eyes.

She had time to stop a squeak from leaving her throat and put her hands up in surrender. "It's me, it's Diana," she whispered desperately, eyes traveling from the weapon to his darkened face. He took a drag from the cigarette in his mouth, and the small orange dot shortly illuminated them.

She could now see his eyes narrowed in suspicion, probably as he tried to figure out her reason to be there.

Very slowly and cautiously, Diana used her free hand to lower the aim of the crossbow, and he took the hint and let the weapon hang at his side.

oOo

"What d'you want?" Daryl whispered loudly and moved back to his perch on the back of the truck. He took a long drag before offering the cigarette to the girl, Diana, as she gingerly came to his side.

She shook her head and stood there, looking small and unsure in the darkness his eyes had already adjusted to. It seemed like the bow never left her hands. She wrung her hands around the grip before looking up at him.

"I wanna- I need to be sure of something," she started, not wasting time beating around the bush, he appreciated it, but wondered where in hell she was going with that.

"What do I got to do with it?" he snapped. If she thought they'd be all chummy just because he'd helped them once or twice, she was dead wrong. Even if he was sure she was going against her father's direct orders just by being there, talking to him.

His stomach clenched. Daryl could pride himself on not being easily intimidated, he'd gone through enough shit in his life to be affected by threats and glares; he'd grown a thick skin at a young age. Hell, his own father had been the first person he'd built a resistance against. So, why was it that the paternal rage and protectiveness of this girl's father, Samuel, made him hesitate before speaking up?

Not to confuse it, he would still confront the man, if need be, but he would never, ever provoke him thoughtlessly and just for fun like his brother had the tendency to do.

He respected him, he realized. From the get-go, he had begrudgingly developed respect for the man.

He was bitter over the fact that he didn't mind their presence, despite his best reasoning, and he was doing his best to deny that fact. His only solace was the prospect that they'd be spared from Merle's idiocy by finding and joining another group of their own volition. That way they'd be gone and he wouldn't feel guilt over it.

Diana rubbed the side of her neck, breaking Daryl out of his thoughts. She stepped a little closer and he could see her face in the dimness of the night. The whites of her eyes were bright in the fading moonlight as she faced him, ready to state her case.

He was growing impatient, but before he could ask her a second time, she spoke up, "I need to be sure that- that if you abandon us, if you- I don't know, change your minds or whatever." She took a deep breath, and her next works were somewhat shaky through the tone of authority, "I have to know you'll leave my dad's meds behind."

Daryl hadn't expected that; he thought she would beg for them not to leave them behind or something similar, although that didn't fit with the first impression she'd made on him.

"Meds?" What kind of meds? What did he have? Shit, they'd been planning to rob a sick man? That made the guilt twinge even worse in his conscience.

"Yeah, he's diabetic," she told him in a whisper that conveyed her determination, "he really needs them. You can take our food, our gear, whatever, just leave that." In a smaller, pleading voice she added, "Please."

He had to look away before he did or said something without thinking it. He took another drag and relished briefly on the smoke filling his lungs, the burn in his throat, the warm glow illuminating the girl's dark skin.

He'd already known they needed their stuff more than he and Merle, and Diana's words only helped prove it. He'd made his decision long before this conversation took place.

He took the cigarette between his fingers and nodded without looking at her as he blew out the smoke through his nostrils and saw her wave it away from her face.

He said nothing, no spoken reassurance that they wouldn't be left behind, or robbed, or even murdered in their sleep, only a simple nod. Yet, she took it and ran with it. She didn't ask anything else of him. She didn't need anything but the confirmation of a nod…

What was it like to trust people that easily?

How was she able to do it, in this state of the world, where people had more difference of ideas than similarities? Where every stranger meant potential danger, and you had to question every word out their mouth?

He didn't envy her that, of course not. In fact, he thought it was rather imprudent and foolish of her to be so trusting, so willing to let people close despite not knowing them at all. But the worst thing was, he found himself wanting to deserve that trust.


i hope my reasoning behind daryl's intentions and actions are clear. he's got his rough edges but he's a nice guy. he doesn't trust people and he doesn't trust the lobos, not yet. but he's starting to respect them, and that's something else. and like i wrote once, his affinity to diana starts when she reminds him of his young self, the way she took the hit, got hurt, but rose above it with stubborn defiance. despite there not being much connecting them, he sees that one tendril of resemblance and it sticks, that's why we'll see him act the way he does in future chapters.

please leave a comment. tell me your thoughts, i'd really appreciate it