sorry for the long wait ily
oOo
Diana wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and stood up, zipping her hoodie up to her neck now that the heat of the fire abandoned her. She nodded at her brother and sister. "I'm heading down to the lake, wanna come with?"
Felix asked around a mouthful, "You gonna get all philosophical and stare out into the water or some shit like that?"
"I might." Diana shrugged, her cheeks heating up.
Both teens shared a deadpan look. "Then we pass," Alice stated and went back to eating what little she had left.
Diana shrugged again, a small lopsided smile forming on her lips. "Your loss. You guys know I'm great at dramatically looking into the distance. I've perfected that distant yet contemplative stare," she said theatrically, using her hands.
Alice nodded distractedly, looking anywhere but her sister; she knew how much it annoyed her. "Mmhm, we believe you, good for you. Piss off." The last two words she actually looked up to say.
Diana scoffed, feigning having taken insult. Sam and Irene gave her a twin look, warning her to be cautious out there. She nodded at them in understanding and left, glad they had yet to broach that morning's event. She doubted they would let it die, but still hoped they would. She never wanted to think about it again.
The final rays of sunlight had given way to the inky purples and dark blues of the sky above, and Diana took advantage of the falling darkness to walk around camp without being seen, her naturally light footfalls a blessing. She had nothing to hide, but needed a moment of peace only solitude could provide, since her brother and sister wanted nothing to do with her momentarily.
The water lapping softly at the stony shore greeted her as she arrived without attention and let herself sink onto a boulder, only slightly injuring her tailbone in the process.
After finally sitting down and visibly letting her body relax, all her aches accentuated; arms, legs, hand, like damn, even her boobs were sore.
Diana brought her legs up, crossed her arms over her knees and propped her chin on her forearm. Now it was time to make good on her promise and dial up on the theatrics.
The water looked hauntingly beautiful like someone had laid down a carpet of midnight blue for the stars to dance upon. The moon was full and its pale light shone down delicately on the gentle ripples and waves of the water, like droplets of silver on blue velvet.
Diana's heart swelled at the sight, she loved the moon so much, always had; a passive watcher of the goings-on of the Earth it looked upon.
Her Avô and hypocrite of an Abuela had made sure that their grandchildren were raised to believe in God. And now, in the midst of humanity's worst crisis, Diana wondered if She was anything like the moon; casually looking on without intervening, or worse, if this had all been Her doing. Oh, she wanted to be angry at God; it would be easy, blaming it all on a divine entity, like mankind hadn't had it coming, like they were completely innocent and undeserving, and it was all fault of a vengeful and tyrant god.
Her eyes dragged away from the moon's intoxicating stare and focused on the fainter blinks of the stars curiously gazing back at her.
She forced herself to calm down, reasoning that it would do her no good to think such thoughts.
She remembered the last time she'd been that furious at God. Her eyes brimmed with tears. Wassup, 'vô, she sent out casually, hoping to distract her from the grief, if you can hear me, please watch over us. We really need it, like, a lot. Watch over your family, or whatever's left of it. Put in a good word for us with the Big Woman, yeah? Tell Her I'm not mad, not that She cares either way, and yeah, and that we'd appreciate Her help or guidance or whatever. I love you, Avô, and we miss you. Hopefully, we won't be seeing each other anytime soon, though. So yeah, bye, I guess?
Diana finished her awkward prayer by touching her chest above her heart, kissing the tips of her fingers and pointing them at the skies.
A figure plopped down next to her and she hurriedly wiped her eyes with the back of her unhurt hand.
She grinned slowly, working up her cheeriness, and turned to it, thinking either Alice or Felix had had second thoughts about her proposal. But she didn't recognize the face. She'd maybe seen a short glimpse of it throughout the day, but she couldn't pin a name to it.
The guy smiled at the bewildered look she gave him and stuck out his hand. "Hi, I'm Glenn. You're Diana, right?"
Hearing her name out loud made her snap to attention and realize her rude staring. He was cute, she realized, in the adorable puppy sense, and his voice reminded her of someone, but she couldn't pin down who.
She shook his hand firmly with her right one, hiding her wince, and he looked down at their joined hands with wide eyes, as if surprised by the strong grip or the bandage or both.
"Yeah, I'm- I'm Diana. Sorry, you caught me kinda off guard. I thought you were my sister."
He actually laughed at that, which made Diana smile a bit in ease. Who didn't love when people laughed at their jokes? She hadn't really been joking, but as long as he wasn't laughing directly at her, it was all good.
"Nope, still a guy, still Asian," he said and smiled widely again. He looked really excited to see her, but she couldn't fathom why.
Diana looked around, not knowing what to do or where to go from there.
"Uhh," she started. The dark blue water shimmering with moonlight caught her eye. "You come down for the view, too?"
"What?" Glenn asked, with furrowed brows and turned to eye what Diana had gestured at. He quickly shook his head and faced her again. "No, nah, I came to talk to you."
"Okay... I don't- I don't really know what- I mean, I don't have a lot to say," Diana stumbled over the sentences, completely at a loss. "Do you have questions about a health thing, or- or something? You're kinda putting me on the spot, here, man."
"I guess that was kind of vague." He shrugged one shoulder and raised a pensive eyebrow. "So you're a nurse?" he asked without hesitation.
Diana nodded once. "Yeah, a student."
"That's amazing. You're not from here, though, right?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Where you from?" Glenn turned completely to her. "I heard you talk to your parents, it sounded Spanish, but I gotta admit, I got no clue what it was."
Diana tightened her arms around her shins. "Oh, it was Portuguese, we're uh- we're from there." His frontal attitude and posture made her feel slightly intimidated. Diana didn't like being accosted like that.
Glenn's mouth formed an 'o'. "What's it like there?"
"Bad, I guess. I mean, to live in. Great for vacation, though," she confessed in a small, absent voice. She wasn't expecting these kinds of questions. His motives were getting harder and harder to figure out.
"You didn't live there? Did you immigrate? Where to?" With each of his questions, Diana's heart lurched and by the end, she felt almost short of breath. Less to do with the context, more to do with discomfort.
"Switzerland," she managed to croak out and looked away.
Glenn nodded and rubbed his arm, almost nervously. "And what's it like there? Is it better than Portugal?"
"I guess." Diana shrugged. Before her brain could catch up with her mouth, she looked at him and bluntly said, "You ask a lot of questions."
"Sorry, I'm just-, I mean-, I guess I'm kinda happy there's another person my age here. I wanna get to know you." Glenn's face fell and he turned away from her. Diana immediately regretted her unintentional rudeness.
She thought back on the people she'd seen since that morning and remembered Amy. "But I saw this blonde girl today, though, she looked like she was in her twenties?"
He looked at her through the corner of his eye. "Amy? Yeah, but she doesn't really give me the time of day, don't know why." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with a slight grimace. "I think she thinks I'm coming on to her when I'm trying to make conversation."
"Well, that's stupid. There's no harm in talking. Even if you're kinda… intense."
"Sorry, didn't mean to-, I don't wanna make you uncomfortable," his words came tumbling out. His voice taking on a tone of self-deprecation that made Diana's heart ache. He looked like he was a second away from standing up and leaving.
Unraveling herself from her little ball, Diana scooted to the edge of the rock and as close to him as she dared. "No, you're- you're really not," she tried to console him.
"I am, man, I'm sorry. I can get a little eager sometimes." Glenn shook his head at her and smiled dejectedly.
Diana had it with his dismissal of her words. She rested a hesitant hand on his shoulder, which dragged his attention from the pebbled ground to her. "It's okay. Really, it is. I mean, you're the first person to actually ask me something about me and not whether or not 'this rash on my butt looks infectious'," she drawled the last words in a terrible southern accent.
Diana felt Glenn's body tremble in laughter before the chuckles even came out his throat. She smiled warmly at him and leaned back, letting her hand slide down his shoulder to rest on her lap. Despite her open-mindedness towards people, it took a lot of time and effort for her to open up to anyone, so Glenn's sudden questionnaire about her person had left her on the edge, going against her nature. But his intentions were so kind and excitable, that she decided to let down her guard a bit.
Glenn smiled back. "I like you." His eyes widened and he grew flustered. "I mean, not 'like like' you, I just met you. I mean, not that you're not a catch, 'cause you know, you're pretty and you seem funny and you're clearly smart but I'm not hitting on you," he said in a rush to get his point across.
Diana laughed at his wound-up posture, all worked-up as he sheepishly looked at her. She felt her chest swell at the compliments but his words still stung somehow. It didn't matter how good she was, it seemed she was never good enough. She shoved the anxiety away, she'd have time to wallow on her shortcomings later, right now she was putting all her thought energy into attempting successful socializing.
"D'you just say you don't 'like like' me? What is this here, 3rd class?"
"You mean 3rd grade?"
"Isn't that what I said?"
He let his face fall into his hands and rubbed his eyes with his palms as a shamed groan left his throat. "Ugh, I'm so lame."
"It's okay, I don't mind being corrected, I know I make mistakes."
"I'm trying to make you feel welcome, and I've managed to insult you and make an ass of myself," his voice came out muffled. He looked up at her through the spaces between his fingers and finally dropped his hands to his lap.
This time, Diana didn't feel as hesitant to pat his shoulder. "Hey, it's okay, I really don't mind it, and believe me, no matter how lame you are, I will always be lamer."
"I don't believe that. I can't believe you're lying to me, so soon into the relationship." A satisfied smile grew visible from the corner of his lips as he stared straight ahead.
She shrugged and mimicked his pose. "Just ask my sister, Alice. She'll tell you how lame I am, she tells me all the time," she stated casually like it was common knowledge.
"She sounds like a very loving sister." Glenn looked at her in apprehension.
Diana snorted and drummed her fingers on her thighs. "She is, she doesn't show it and she's kind of a bitch to me, but that's our thing. You don't gotta worry, though, she'll like you."
"You sure of that?" His head tilted slightly to the side like a curious puppy.
"Yeah, she got a thing for Eastern Asian guys, you know," she joked, then sobered up. "But for real, she will, 'cause… I already like you," Diana whispered, feeling her cheeks warm up and her heart rate pick up at the embarrassing words.
She couldn't believe she'd said that to someone she'd met not ten minutes ago, which was weird because she had meant it and she had friends that even after years of friendship didn't evoke the same affection from her that Glenn had after such a short amount of time. She knew she was all shades of fucked up, but this was new.
He took it in good humor. "But not 'like like'."
She chuckled once and shook her head. "Nah, not 'like like', after all, we just met." Diana sighed and let silence reign for a bit before it felt awkward to her and then added, "And my brother Felix, my bro, my main bro; he can be an asshole sometimes, like a major one, but he's a sweetheart most of the time, very kind-hearted, but don't let him know I said that. He's got a 'reputation', know what I mean?" After a beat, she asked, "What about you, any siblings?" As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them.
"Yep, got some sisters myself." Glenn's smile was a bit sad and enigmatic so that Diana couldn't decipher it, but he didn't seem to mind the question.
"Nicer than mine, hopefully?"
"That's arguable."
"What d'you do before, you know, this happened?" Why could she only come up with potentially harsh subjects? Well, to be fair, he had also asked a lot about her home, even though such a topic could only be associated with heartbreak.
"I uh, delivered pizzas." He rubbed the back of his head and then hit her lightly on the arm. "Yeah, nothing fancy like Ms. Nurse over here."
"Pleeease," Diana dragged and strained her brain for some adequate words of appreciation. "I mean… if there weren't guys like you out there, who would deliver our pizzas?" She felt like slapping herself.
"Wow," Glenn teased, a lopsided smile on his face.
Diana's eyebrows raised in bafflement. "I didn't know what to say!"
"How did your patients even put up with you?"
She crossed her arms and hunched forward. "I have feelings."
He tapped her back once. "So do I, and all you come up with is 'who would deliver our pizzas?'"
"I'm not very good with words, okay?" Alice had always told her she was shit at comforting people, and Diana had always been self-conscious over that. She was a great listener, but not very good at making people feel better. More than that, she felt horrible for having basically undervalued his livelihood, like some snobby socialite who didn't know hard work.
"You suck," he joked, but he must've noticed her flinch away. "Did that- did that offend you?"
"No."
"Shit, I'm really sorry. I thought you meant it as a joke, you know? Some people got that self-deprecating humor and all."
He wasn't wrong. "It's okay." She remained with her back turned, though, still ashamed.
"I blew our chances, didn't I? If you wanna gang up on me with Amy, I totally get it."
Man, he totally thought he was at fault here, that was so unfair to him. Diana swallowed her embarrassment and turned to face him, heart in her throat. He looked guiltily up at her. One of his hands kneaded the muscles on his upper arm in a nervous tick.
"You giving up on us? So soon into the relationship?" she managed around the lump in her throat.
The confused furrow of his brow lasted about a second before a relieved half-smile rose on his lips. He joked along. "You'll take me back?"
"Boy, if anything, I should be the one asking that. I basically belittled your job. That was such a douche move."
Glenn chortled in disbelief. "What, really? You think that insulted me?"
"Hmm." Diana nodded largely, feeling like a child.
"You're feeling bad about that? Seriously?"
"Yeah," she muttered and started to crack her knuckles nervously before the pain in her right hand forced her to stop.
He laid a comforting hand on her shoulder and leaned towards her to catch her eye. "You realize how much shit I've heard? From people who didn't give the slightest damn about how their words affected me? Believe me, that's nothing in comparison."
"Yeah, I know what that's like. But… let's not go there. Tell me- tell me about you. If we want this to work." She worried Glenn would grow tired of the joke, but his friendly grin showed the opposite.
He was more than happy to change the subject matter and they talked about trivial and not so trivial things for almost an hour.
He told her a little about his childhood, his time as a Boy Scout and his shenanigans at school. He purposefully avoided mentioning his family, but Diana understood and didn't press.
He gushed about his love of comic books and retold her stories of one of his favorites in such detail and suspense and passion that he had Diana leaning forward on her boulder, attentive and focused on his words.
Glenn talked and Diana listened. Never once did he push her to divulge more than she felt comfortable with and she did the same.
And by the end of the night, after she walked him to his sleeping quarters and awkwardly patted his arm in goodbye, she could confess that it probably wouldn't take long before she and Glenn became good friends.
oOo
Hazel-green eyes blinked away the last grains of fuzzy dreams and blissful sleep. They glanced around a couple of times, trying to discern the time of day; the darkness in the tent proved to be answer enough.
She rarely slept well and it was still night-time, so who the fuck was disturbing her with that infernal noise?
Alice groaned and punched the ground near her head. Why couldn't people just let her sleep?
She sat upright like a coiled spring set free and glared at her siblings; one of them was the culprit. She adjusted the fabric wrapped around her hair and groaned again.
It was Diana. She was the little shit at fault. She was lying on her side, facing her. Her whole body trembled, and from what Alice could discern in the dark, her face was twisted in an expression of agony. The whimpers and sobs that had awakened her were her sister's.
Alice didn't know what to do. Should she just let her sleep, innocent but annoying victim to nightmares that caused her to cry in her sleep? Or should she be a good little sister and wake her up? But if so, what then? She could pretend to be asleep and let Diana deal with it alone. But then she would most likely continue to cry and that would be even more annoying. Maybe she could wake Felix up and convince him to deal with it.
More heart-lurching sobs brought Alice out of her thoughts. She bit her lip and scratched the side of her neck.
Well, she guessed it was no fun seeing her sister suffer if she wasn't the one causing her pain.
So, good little sister it was.
Alice grimaced and shoved Diana awake.
The girl woke up with a bloodcurdling scream that caused Alice to jump and scared Felix awake. Great.
While Felix gathered his wits, Diana seemed to unravel further. She kicked everything away from her and herself out of her bedding. Alice managed to avoid a slap, but Felix had been less lucky.
Diana heaved and panted and sobbed, all at once. She was a mess of sweaty skin and tousled hair and wide eyes.
"Stop that," Alice commanded pitilessly, and it seemed to work; Diana stopped her thrashing around and sat in the midst of the chaos she'd created. Alice saw her eyes darting around and once her surroundings set in, she relaxed visibly; her shoulders dropped from their tense posture and her expression became less wild and more exhausted.
Alice glimpsed over at Felix, who looked bewildered back at her, a silent question of 'what the hell is going on' clear on his face. She shrugged, not really feeling up to explaining, and turned to her sister.
"The fuck was that about?" she asked. She remembered the morning of two days ago when she'd also woken up to Diana having a nightmare. She'd never thought it'd become a regular instance. She hoped it wouldn't, it was messing up her sleep schedule more than usual.
Diana didn't answer, she just pushed her legs up to her chest and hugged herself into a tight little ball of pure 100% infuriating sister material.
Alice resisted the urge to slap her, so instead, she groaned and hissed between teeth, "Talk to us about it."
The older girl looked up at her from under her eyelashes. She looked absolutely miserable; what a pain in the ass this girl was! "It's okay, I don't wanna talk about it." Even her voice sounded all weak and hoarse.
Alice might come to regret this, but right now, it was time for her to rise to the occasion and be The Good Sister™. "Did I make it sound like a question? I meant it as an order. So spill it."
Diana glanced at her and then Felix, who was as curious as he was puzzled. Typical. It really wasn't hard to imagine what was in their sister's mind.
"It's got to do with this," she said and pulled Diana's bandaged hand free to hold it up, "doesn't it?"
"Yeah…" Diana said but didn't divulge any more.
Alice felt like pulling at her hair, or Diana's, whichever, in frustration. Two days ago she had been eager to tell her about whatever stupid nightmare she had had, but now, no peep from her. Which only meant that whatever had happened had affected her more than she cared to admit, despite her brave façade.
She let herself calm down, hitting her sister would not be the solution, she thought, even though it really would help Alice.
She looked at Felix and gestured to their elder sister with a raised eyebrow. The boy raised both in a helpless furrow and shrugged his shoulders almost to his ears. Fine, be useless.
Before Alice could make another effort to 'nicely' extort information out of her sister, the older girl inhaled slowly and started talking. Hesitantly she told them everything, every detail, every action and thought, and also every fear and doubt she'd had regarding that morning's incident.
Listening to her sister disclose the events of that morning made two distinct emotions swell up in her. Pure, unadulterated wrath, and pride.
The rage had been understandable, but the pride had surprised her. Her sister had been such a badass. Jesus F. Christ, please don't let that thought tarnish her mind ever again!
Alice shuddered internally and kept on listening. Diana was now very hesitantly recounting her dream; basically everything that she had thought could've gone wrong, did go wrong, and she had watched and felt herself experience those horrific scenarios on repeat, each one worse than the one before.
By the end of it, Diana was crying again, and Alice's stomach was so twisted in disgust, she legitimately felt like throwing up. Felix felt the same if his contorted grimace was any indication.
Alice looked at Diana, curled into her little ball of 90% annoying sister material. Wow, feeling sorry for people was the worst. It sucked, really.
She caught Felix's attention and gestured for him to hug her. The boy nodded and scooted closer to their older sister and gingerly put his arms around her. At first, she stiffened in his arms, but then she unfurled and threw her arms around the boy's middle while weeping into his shoulder.
Felix made a fine job of holding her tight, doing for their sister what Alice couldn't, and she gave him a thumbs up when he caught her eye. He returned it and carefully sat in a way that Diana could sit between his legs and still hold onto him.
The boy rested his cheek on Diana's head, half his face disappearing behind her untamed waves, and shushed her and told her it was okay, that she was safe, his hand stroking her back tenderly.
When Diana had calmed down, and Alice had had enough of the pity party, she crawled next to them and sat herself facing her sister.
Diana looked up, rubbing her face with her palms and smiled tiredly at Alice, who allowed one corner of her lips to lift in return.
Alice patted the girl's knee awkwardly. Should she risk some words of comfort? Okay, why not? "That was just a fucking stupid dream. You just gotta remember what really happened, which was…" She gestured with her hand for Diana to complete the sentence.
"I fought." Diana's smile grew slowly.
"Aaand?"
"And I won!" she said with more confidence.
A small smirk blossomed on Alice's lips and she held up her fist. Diana bumped it with enthusiasm and a twin smile to hers.
"Don't curse, though," Diana added in her raspy voice. And she had to ruin the moment by grabbing Alice's face and planting a kiss on her forehead. Alice scurried away from the grip and slapped at her sister's guilty hands, feeling satisfaction when she managed to hit her bandaged hand. Serves her right. How fucking dare she?
Alice glared at her, but her sister just chuckled and turned to Felix, thanking him the same way, except the boy was more complacent to receive the affection and hugged her one last time.
"Well, I'm glad that's over," Alice breathed, "The crying was really getting on my nerves." She sighed jokingly. She saw Diana grin and slap her upper arm from the corner of her eye.
She pretended to be hurt and was going to retaliate, but a fierce yawn bubbled up from deep within her and she decided to forsake the violence just this once and return to her sleep.
"G'night, now, bitches. And Diana, you can fuck right off next time you have a nightmare," Alice said around another yawn and laid herself down inside her sleeping bag. She turned her back to her siblings, but the shuffling of cloth behind her suggested they were following her lead.
There was a yawn and then, "Sure thing, ma'am, I'll make sure to wake you up every time. Roger that."
Alice lashed an arm out behind her and an 'oof' of breathlessness indicated she had met her target.
She fell asleep to the sound of her sister cursing out her name.
I loved writing this chapter for two reasons, Diana and Glenn's beginning of friendship awkwardness, and writing from Alice's POV.
Glenn is so excited to meet Diana and she's just ? why? their interactions cost her a lot of social energy and defy her base instincts. people are complex, and so is Diana; she's got no problem accepting strangers and trusting them, but she's very closed off where her person is involved. she's trusting but has trust issues simultaneously, if that makes any sense to you?
I love their relationship tbh, I just… it's so pure and platonic and right from the beginning they build their own inside jokes and I love them and idgaf what people think
I love Alice's POV cuz she loves her siblings but she has her own way of showing it, and she pretends to be this emotionless person but she feels so deeply and just hides it all away.
okay rant over I hope u enjoyed this chapter.
please leave a comment. tell me your thoughts, i'd really appreciate it
