so much filler stuff, wow
oOo
Today marked the end of the two-week deal Diana and Daryl had made. So, as a thank you and also departure gift, she had decided to do something different.
The kids had gone swimming, which made her extremely jealous, especially in today's weather. But after promising herself that she would make a friend out of Daryl, even in such a short limited time, she wanted to feel like she'd actually accomplished her goal by spending his last day at camp with him. She assumed it was his last day.
He hadn't ever really talked about it, but he'd made it pretty clear that two weeks was it. Diana could only wonder if they were scheming something. If they would leave them with an unpleasant surprise.
She'd been worried in the past that there was some sort of unlocked potential there. In both Merle and Daryl. That they'd be gone before it could be discovered. It felt good to know that she'd somehow gotten through to Daryl. There was something there, he was more open now and even made some jokes. It was only a matter of letting others see the same him that she did.
From her short encounters with Merle, he remained the same fucking jackass. He never even made an effort to hide it.
"Mami, did you find the blanket?" Diana called from within her tent. She was searching her messenger bag for something she knew she'd seen in one of its pockets. It was of utmost importance that she found it again.
"Here you go," Irene said from the entrance and threw the blue checkered blanket at Diana's kneeling form. "What're you searching for?"
Diana drummed her fingers on her thigh in pensiveness. They weren't there. She looked up at her mom. "You know if Felix and Alice ate the chocolates I had here?" She wouldn't get mad if they did. Okay, who was she kidding, she'd be pissed. She'd been saving them for forever.
Irene shrugged and the corners of her lips tugged downward. "No, I don't think so. But I think you'd find out if they did."
Diana tilted her head in agreement. Yeah, they would've never shut up about it and would've tried to make her feel guilty for hiding the chocolates from them for so long.
She tried another inner pocket, just in case she'd missed them. "Yes!" she shouted in triumph.
"Found them?" Irene asked, coming back to peek inside the tent.
"Yep," Diana responded with a wide smile. They were a bit soft and mushy inside the aluminum wrap, but man, chocolate was chocolate. There were four pralines, all milk chocolate and caramel, who'd been gifted to her by a patient shortly before summer vacation. She'd stuck them in her bag and never remembered them again.
She put two back inside her messenger bag. She'd give those to Alice and Felix, they'd be super stoked. "Do you want one, mami?" she offered, holding them up to her. She already knew she wouldn't have to ask her dad.
Irene smiled warmly and combed back some stray hairs from Diana's ponytail. "It's alright, mija, you keep them."
Diana stood up with a smile and kissed her mom on the cheek. "I love you," she said casually and then wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug. She was feeling extra affectionate that day.
Irene's muffled laughter came with her urgently tapping Diana on the arm. Diana released her and Irene immediately took a deep breath. "Ay, filha, you were suffocating me. D'you wanna actually kill me?"
"With love? Yes," Diana affirmed and gave her a quick peck on the forehead. "Did you put the things a sack?"
Irene nodded and rubbed her lower back with a grimace. "I'll bring it to you," she said and exited the tent. Diana would have to offer her mom a massage one of these days. She'd been complaining of back pain since the prior day.
Diana picked up the blanket and folded it over her arm while humming some song from a musical.
When Irene came back, she handed her a cloth bag with big red circles in the center. Oh, Target, she recognized that one off the internet. She almost face-palmed; she could've been using that bag for target practice all this time.
She sighed, shrugged in acceptance and rummaged through the contents. A bottle of instant lemonade she'd mixed herself, her portion of today's lunch that she hadn't eaten yet plus a little extra wrapped in aluminum foil, half a can of peaches, and now two chocolate-caramel pralines.
She smiled at her mom. "Perfect. Muito obrigada, mami, you're the best."
Irene smiled with tight lips and tilted her head from side to side, as if to say 'I know, I know'. Then she caressed Diana's cheek and asked, "Are you sure you wanna do this?"
Diana sighed. "Mami, we've talked about this." She adjusted the bag on her shoulder and said. "He's leaving and I wanna thank him for what he's done for me. You taught me to always show gratitude where it's due. And not only has he been keeping everyone, including us fed, he also taught me a really important survival skill that I'm definitely gonna need."
Irene sighed and cradled Diana's cheeks in her hands. She looked at her with warm eyes. "Why aren't you a little more of an asshole?"
Diana burst out laughing, which made Irene laugh with her. The chortles made her sides hurt and she had to wipe at her wet eyes. She chuckled softly a few more times before it died down with a deep sigh of amusement. "What a weird thing to ask your daughter, for real? That's your legacy, mami. Those wise words shall be passed down from generation to generation."
"It has been decreed," Irene added with a wide smile. She stepped away from the entrance of the tent and motioned outside. "Go on. Go, mija, God knows I can't stop you when your intentions are good."
"Praise the Lord," Diana said and stepped outside. She did a mental check for everything and nodded to herself. She jolted in realization and told her mom, "Oh, don't freak out if I come home a little later than planned, okay?"
"Why? How long are you planning to be gone?" Irene asked, suspicious and not really liking what she was hearing, by the look of it.
Diana raised her hands in surrender. "Calm down, I just don't wanna have to be looking at the figurative watch all the time and look overeager to leave. I owe Daryl that much."
Irene rubbed her temples. "Ah, how you test my patience… If you're not back before dinner, Christ as my witness, I will hunt you both down and skin him alive."
"You know, you could trust me a little bit," Diana suggested with a shrug of fake nonchalance. "And him, too, to be honest."
Irene shooed her away. "Go, go, go now. The sooner you leave the sooner you'll come back."
"Not how it works," Diana pointed out, but let herself be pushed away toward the woods. "Love you," she called out and blew her mom a kiss.
"También te amo, mija," Irene relented, despite it all. She pretended to catch the kiss and brought it to her chest, right above her heart.
oOo
Diana couldn't help but grin the entire way. She swung the bag back and forth in big motions and let the blanket cascade down her back like a cape.
She hummed happy musical songs and stopped once to admire a bumblebee as it floated from flower to flower. She encouraged it with kind words, pretending like it could understand her, and blew it a little kiss.
She had no idea where the good mood was coming from, seeing as she hadn't been sleeping well at all. Maybe it was the exhaustion. Hopefully, Daryl wouldn't be there to see the next phase in her sleepiness. She could get cranky and whiny. Big time.
With the cape weighing down behind her, she ran uphill pretending to be charging into a battlefield. She imagined Wonder Woman by her side, her ultimate fictional role model. Her breathing was on the verge of wheezy when she got to the top, but it was worth it.
At the clearing, she had to tame down the urge to skip instead of walk. She was very childish, but there were limits. Although… she really loved the floaty feeling of skipping and hadn't done it in so long.
Diana smiled widely at Daryl on his perch and skipped once, twice, before jogging the rest of the way to him. Then she burst into laughter as she plopped down next to him. His face was too good. His eyebrows had climbed up halfway to his hairline.
She laughed her breathless seal laughter while clapping Daryl on the arm repeatedly. He recoiled from her, seemingly confused and at loss for actions.
"The hell's gotten into you? You been possessed?" he asked while eyeing her from the side.
Diana laughed her last sighs and dropped her head onto Daryl's shoulder. "Oh, I'm so fucking exhausted."
She felt his body jostle as he snorted in amused disbelief. "So you laugh yourself to even more exhaustion?"
"That's the logical conclusion, don'tcha think?" she asked lazily while craning her neck to look up at him. "That way I'll fall asleep quicker. That's why I'm here. See this?" She pulled a corner from the blanket around her shoulders and showed it to him. "It's for napping. Like this." With a corner in each hand, she threw her arms around him and locked her hands. Blanket bear hug.
She scooched closer and nestled her cheek on his bare shoulder. Her eyes closed immediately. "See, it's super comfy."
"It's too hot," Daryl whispered, but his chin still found a rest on top of her head. Diana felt his hand reach to her arm under the blanket, and then the warmth of his fingers splayed on her skin.
"Hot damn, call the police and the fireman," Diana whispered back on instinct. "Sorry, couldn't help it. It's ingrained in my brain forever."
Beads of sweat started forming between her boobs, of all damn places, and the combined body heat was getting to her head. She could've either been on the verge of falling asleep or of having a heat stroke. With a gasping inhale, Diana opened her arms dramatically and threw the blanket away. Oh, blessed relief.
"Oh my God, I love air," she sighed and fanned herself. She turned to Daryl. He was completely flushed and shiny with newly formed sweat. Diana gasped in shock and felt his burning cheeks with the backs of her hands. "Dude, why didn't you say something sooner. For real like, you look like you're about to keel over," she said with concern and fanned his face with her hands.
All the while, he just looked at her without a word, his blue eyes following her every move. Please don't say it was too late and the heat scrambled up his brain like eggs. But other than the redness he showed no other symptoms of heat stroke, so her drama was most likely unjustified.
Then she remembered the lemonade and turned in her seat to dig it out of the bag. She opened the bottle and offered it to him. "I know it looks like pee but I swear it's lemonade," she said and pushed it into his hands.
Daryl reacted to that. He turned his head away and gave a few chuckles, his shoulder shaking under her hand. The laughter was a really unclear sign of whether he was alright or not, but she took it as a good thing. At least he wasn't throwing up or something.
He chugged about a quarter of the bottle and sighed, his hand flying up to wipe his mouth.
Diana tilted her head and raised a concerned eyebrow. "You uh, you alright?" She poked him on the thigh.
He faced her with a suppressed upward tilt of the corner of his lips. "Best pee I ever had," his voice was laced with amusement and his eyes kind of seemed brighter, like a drama cliché. Diana's chest grew warm and a smile slowly widened on her lips.
She didn't know if it was the exhausted giddiness or the fact that he sounded so carefree and youthful just from making a simple joke, but she burst out laughing again. Another category of laughter made an appearance, the windshield wiper. And she laughed even harder at her own laughter, leaving her breathless.
She was really tired.
Her stomach growling like an actual living being surprised her into somberness. Fuck, she also hadn't eaten lunch yet.
Tired and hungry was not a good combination.
She pointed to her own stomach and looked up at Daryl with an amazed grin. "D'you hear that? Great acoustic." She scrunched up her nose and added, "I don't think I used that word right."
"Ya ain't eaten yet?" Daryl asked and furrowed his brow.
"Cool tongue twister," Diana pointed out. "Try saying it fast ten times. But uh, no I haven't, that's why I'm here." She grabbed the bag off the ground and lifted it up for him to see. "Inside this wonderful Target tote are some of this world's wonders, which we will be eating today."
At Daryl's raised eyebrow and questioning tilt of the head, Diana stood, picked the checkered blanket up and stretched it out on the ground. She opened her arms towards it. "I thought we could have a picnic today."
"Why?" he asked, his eyes narrowing. Diana grabbed him by the hand and pulled him with her on top of the blanket. She forced him to sit down by the shoulders and then sat across from him.
She lifted one shoulder nonchalantly. "'Cause it's two weeks today. I thought… I wouldn't wanna burden you longer than necessary and whatever, and I wanted to thank you and say goodbye properly now. So I don't regret anything when you're gone. Yeah." She pursed her lips in sudden timidity.
Daryl appraised her quietly. He had pulled his leg towards his chest and now his arm rested on his knee. Diana's eyes were involuntarily pulled to the movement of him pensively rubbing the knuckle of his thumb over his lips. She'd seen him do that sometimes before. It seemed as much of a habit to him as her biting the insides of her cheeks.
Quickly, she added, "We had a deal, too." Okay, now that it was out, she thought she ought to not have mentioned it. It could've very well been that he'd forgotten it already and she'd be off the hook. That had been stupid of her.
Daryl blinked and averted his eyes. Then he pulled the food bag towards them and started taking out the contents. "We'll eat first."
Diana's stomach growled timely and she felt her cheeks grow warm. "Yeah, best idea of the day."
Something Diana noticed during their lunch was Daryl trying to subtly give her more food that he took for himself. When he did, she tried to argue with the logical reasoning that he needed a higher calorie intake than she. It was useless because he just didn't touch it and waited for her to eat it.
It took her forcibly shoving a half-eaten rabbit's leg between his teeth while he was talking for him to finally accept it. He glared at her while ripping the meat off the bone and he continued glaring at her while licking his fingers clean.
Although by then, Diana had the decency to avert her eyes and pretend to take a deep interest in the canned peach half between her fingers.
The chocolate was the trickiest part. It was completely liquefied, so she had to open it up just enough to be able to suck it out of the wrap. Then she opened up the foil and licked the chocolate and caramel on the inside. And then the rest that had dripped onto her fingers.
Daryl was more straightforward, he popped the whole thing in his mouth, foil and all. She observed, completely fascinated, as he swirled it around in his mouth a couple of times and then spit out the wrap in a tiny compact ball of aluminum. It was impressive, to be honest.
By the end of the meal, Diana patted her stomach with a delighted sigh. She never became fully satisfied after a meal anymore, but she couldn't complain when she knew she wasn't the only one. Sharing snacks with her siblings had become somewhat of a war. Not because they each wanted anything for themselves, but because they all claimed to be too full and would push it onto one another.
Diana shoved every piece of trash inside the bag with a hum. Then, completely at ease, she laid back on the blanket, arms crossed under her head.
Daryl maintained his original seating pose. His head was propped lazily against his hand as he looked down at her. Then his hand reached out towards her face and her chest clenched, leaving her a little breathless. His fingertips grazed her cheek as he pulled some of her hair free from the corner of her mouth.
Diana opened her lips to help to release them and then thanked him quietly. His eyes lingered there and she licked them subconsciously, feeling how dry they were.
A subtle ticklish warmth began playing in her lower belly. She sat up in a flash and announced abruptly, "So about that deal, dude."
"About that deal," Daryl repeated. The atmosphere lightened up. The spell had been broken. Diana felt both relieved and disappointed, though, she didn't understand why.
"Once upon a time, I said I'd tell you about the bow if you taught me how to use it, right?" she asked, knowing very well that she had no idea where she was going with this.
"I think I remember somethin' 'bout some super-secret special technology. That the one?" Daryl asked with a raised eyebrow, faking seriousness.
"That is the very one. The one… which I accidentally forgot to bring with me today… Sorry." Diana shrugged sheepishly and gave a tentative smile. "The thing is… I've got no idea how or what or who."
Daryl sat straight. "You what?"
Diana raised her hands in defense. "Don't get mad! Okay, I just… I don't know anything about the bow. What I've- what you've seen till now is all I got."
So she'd gone with the honesty route. She usually preferred little white lies that worked in her favor, but Daryl had never been anything but honest with her and she felt like she owed him the same treatment. At least out of respect.
She was kind of anxious over how he'd react. Right now he was just processing it, staring off into space.
"So you been lyin'? All this time?" he asked finally, still not meeting her eyes.
Diana sighed. She'd ruined everything. That's why white lies were good. She could've told him a bullshit story and he would've been none the wiser. Especially since he'd be out of her life soon. Wow, that actually hurt a little to think about.
"I- yeah, well… não, not really lying, 'cause I… 'cause I've never actually ever said anything about the bow… Apenas- yeah, I- I've kinda kept it- yeah…" she stumbled and staggered. Her face scrunched up in a guilty grimace and she added, "I am so sorry."
Daryl gave a little huff of laughter. "You always with the damn apologies when you done nothin' wrong."
Diana looked at him from the corner of her eye, too scared to face him. "Excuse me?" What did he mean nothing wrong?
"What'd I tell ya in the beginning? Don't go trustin' everybody, keep this to yourself. Ya actually done listened." He didn't sound berating or even remotely mad. Just a hint of pride in his voice. Along with his half smile, Diana could almost guess that he was proud of the fact that she'd omitted the truth from him. Like it was some sort of test.
"So you… You think I acted right?" she asked just to clear it up. Not that there was a chance that she was actually misunderstanding his body language.
Daryl gave a short nod. Diana snorted in disbelief and shrugged loosely. She pulled her legs to her chest and put her arms around them, her hands came to fidget with her shoelaces.
"I was like making a huge deal out of it. Even lost some sleep over it. Like for real. And now…"
Daryl swept her ponytail back over her shoulder, catching her attention. Then he said, "Ya gotta learn that I ain't gonna bite your head off."
"Do you… want me to tell you how I found the bow?" Diana asked with a tilt of her head. "That's basically the only thing I know."
"Sure," he said.
Diana fully disclosed everything, from the bow's sudden appearance one day and what had caused her to come upon it, to how it called to her and how it felt to her touch. Then she told him of the theories Felix and Alice had constructed right at the beginning, and how they hadn't questioned it ever since.
Daryl had kept a poker face throughout her tale. By the end, he nodded pensively and told her, "Ya found it the day before you met me and Merle. And ya ain't seen any biters till then, that close to the city and the highway, that right?"
Diana nodded, anxious to hear his point of view.
"You ever think it coulda been protectin' y'all?" he said, revealing a valid point. "It called to you when you were leavin', to keep y'all under protection. Now you got the best damn weapon in the business."
"But why me? That's what bothers me… Why not my dad or something?" She was sure she was not fit to be protecting anyone. She felt like her existence in the world was validated by having the bow, like she had a purpose, whatever it may be. But she knew she was very likely the least ideal person to wield it. She wasn't a hero or any such bullshit.
Daryl shrugged. "Fuck if I know. For all I know I'm just talkin' outta my ass. I ain't even understand how that thing can exist."
Diana bit the chapped skin on her lower lip. "Yeah, me nei-" A huge yawn forced its way out halfway through. She shook herself and blinked hard. "Shit, sorry."
"It's alright. You said ya ain't sleeping right." he said, his eyes narrowing.
"Yeah, but not just 'cause of… you know, what I said before. I've just… I've been having some weird-ass dreams lately." Diana rubbed her eyes with the tips of her fingers and sighed heavily. She gave Daryl a tired smile.
The dreams had started about the prior week. They were nonsensical and random and always starred the same person, a girl. This girl, well, a young woman about Diana's age, she'd guess. Diana dreamt through her eyes as if living another life.
She'd seen her face reflected in various surfaces but never a mirror, but what she'd seen added to the fact that she would speak perfect Mandarin to herself told Diana she was of Chinese descent.
Now, how Diana could dream up being able to speak Mandarin she had no idea. She'd been learning a few words and phrases in Korean from Glenn, but it wasn't the same at all, and dream-her was perfectly fluent.
The strangest part about those dreams was how they stayed after Diana woke up. They didn't fade away or became indescribable and vague. They became as real as her own memories. She could see and hear and smell and taste and touch everything dream-her did. It was uncanny.
She hadn't told anyone about them. They hadn't affected her daily life beyond a little bit of a creepy feeling in the morning, so she let it be. In the borders of "The Passage", she'd started writing down about what dream-her did or saw. She thought that maybe she'd be able to connect it to something in her daily life that would justify why she dreamt about what she dreamt.
So far, all she'd seen was her alone in the forest. She walked a lot. One night, Diana had dreamt about her just walking, her legs had felt about to collapse under her. She had assumed it was the atmosphere and the similar locations that made her dream that up. All in all, it wasn't that worrying.
Feeling like she'd spent an eternity dwelling deep in thought, Diana finally blinked herself out of her trance and looked at Daryl.
In that time, he'd taken the liberty to lie down. His arms were crossed under his head and his eyes were closed against the blinding blueness of the sky. She was glad he hadn't taken it personally or badly her omission of facts or rather lack thereof.
Seeing how relaxed and at peace he looked, another yawn rose up and out of her. She stretched her arms as far as she could above her head and then smacked her lips with a sigh. She wasn't usually the napping type like the rest of her family, but she could really go for one right now.
She lied down next to him, bunching up the blanket to cushion her head. She crossed her legs at the ankle and rested her hands on top of her belly. The sun wasn't as overbearingly bright and hot now, but she still had to squint to see anything.
"Daryl," she called. He made a noise of acknowledgment in the back of his throat. She continued in a whisper, "If I fall asleep, lemme sleep for just a little bit, 'kay?"
He agreed with another throaty sound.
oOo
Diana blinked herself blearily back towards consciousness. She was bundled up in the blanket, curled on her side, and the sky had taken tints of twilight oranges and purples. She sat up with a jerk, her heart beating out of her chest.
Her mom was going to kill her!
Her head snapped around when she heard a thud and a shrill animal squeal. She saw Daryl standing by her standard target tree, crossbow in hand. He'd shot something in the underbrush.
Diana rubbed her hands down her face wearily and rubbed her eyes.
"Lil sleepin' beauty's finally awake," Daryl commented lightheartedly. He walked into her line of sight with a brown rabbit in hand. So that's what it'd been. "Your brother and sister came lookin' for ya on behalf of your parents. I told 'em I'd send you off soon as you woke up."
Diana groaned and hid her face in her hands. "Thanks, but I'm still gonna be dead meat."
Daryl chuckled softly and dropped the rabbit by the boulders. Diana widened her eyes at the pile. There had to be at least little more than a dozen of them, plus a freaking doe. Had he left to hunt while she slept? Leaving her alone and defenseless? What the hell?!
"I don't know what kinda freaky spell you got on ya, but they straight out started comin' outta the woods soon as you fell asleep," Daryl said and sat on the rock. "Weird shit just follows you like the plague, huh?"
Diana's eyes didn't leave the game. "Yeah… no shit." What was going on with her? Her pulse raced and her breathing became shallow. There was something very wrong happening to her. She'd had her share of the impossible happen, it was time for it to stop escalating.
"Hey," Daryl called out. He knelt in front of her. "You alright?"
"No," she whispered honestly, "Why is this happening?" She didn't want to be whiny, that was the very last thing she wanted to be. But she was a little freaked.
Yes, she'd always longed for otherworldly excitement. But in the scenarios that she imagined, she always had a basic idea of the reason behind it all. Or at least there was some sort of guide or counselor that helped her figure it out. Almost like in a video game.
Reality was nothing like a video game. She didn't want any of this. She wanted to go home. She wanted to go back to before.
Daryl grounded her with his hands on her upper arms. He forced her to look at him. "Hey, take deep breaths, alright? Breathe with me, look at me," he commanded once she began staring into space.
Diana's eyes were wide and unblinking, on the verge of tears of panic. Her hands flew to grasp at something and latched onto Daryl's arms, her short fingernails in his flesh.
He told her to breathe in and she mimicked the exaggerated movements of his chest. Her eyes never left his concerned ones.
Shakily, in and out, slow and steady.
His hand cupped her cheek and Diana finally blinked, her eyes stinging. Deep inhale. His thumb wiped away a tear that had overflowed without her notice. Shaky exhale.
"It's alright. It's alright. It's alright," Daryl repeated. His warm hands rubbed up and down her arms. The goosebumps on her skin were no longer due to the cold.
Slow and steady, in and out. Her breathing regulated, the fist around her heart became looser. The ringing in her ears vanished, making every little sound sharp once more. It's alright.
Her fingers loosened on Daryl's biceps and she saw the deep half-moons she left behind. She rubbed her fingertips softly over them with a furrowed brow. "I'm-" she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry."
Daryl glanced down at them as if he'd only noticed it now, which he probably had, and shook his head. "Forget 'bout that." He looked at her. His hand lifted from her arm shortly before grabbing onto it again. "How you feelin'?"
Diana gave a soft chuckle that sounded like it was a salvage from a sigh. "I- I don't know," she said. She was feeling a lot and too much at the same time. She took a second to breathe deep and push it all away and numb herself down. She tossed everything behind those ramshackle gates of hers and gave Daryl a tentative smile. "Better, I guess." She could make it work.
She considered herself somewhat of an expert at suppression. She would deal with it in her next breakdown, whenever it may come. A problem for future her.
But for now, present her really needed a hug.
Diana sat up on her knees and flung her arms around Daryl's neck. Her sudden weight threw him off balance and he fell back on his butt, one hand on her back to keep her.
Daryl didn't question nor did he reject it. He simply put his arms fast around her. Because of her higher position, his cheek rested above her collarbone and she could feel his warm breath on her skin at the base of her neck. Her chest tightened again but in something other than panic. He could probably feel her deep heartbeat.
Diana nestled her cheek on the top of his head. She wanted to laugh, he really needed a shower, but then again probably so did she.
Her fingers started caressing the hairs at the back of his head. She felt his hands fist the fabric of her shirt and he exhaled deeply.
Diana no longer knew who was comforting who. She resisted the urge to hum some kind of soft, happy song.
She felt Daryl's jaw move and his words resonated in her chest. "Me and Merle ain't leavin'. We gonna stay."
Diana had many questions regarding that, but for now, she just heard herself say, "Good."
Who woulda guessed that the apocalypse plus other real crazy shit could take a toll on someone? Huh…
Diana's too emotional and soft for this world. Or is that exactly what it needs? (omg so cheesy kill me)
Please leave a comment, I'd greatly appreciate your thoughts and feedback! Love you!
