had a tough week at work, so this chapter came a little later than expected

it's here now, though! so enjoy it!


oOo

Diana had done it! She'd worn her parents down enough to make them grudgingly agree to let her go on a supply run.

It was the first one ever to be done with a group. Glenn had always gone alone before. That was until he had somewhat of a close call with one particular blocked alleyway and a sizable group of geeks. Despite his dismissal that everything was fine, Shane decided it was time others joined him, so they could have each other's backs.

Diana never thought she'd agree so willingly to anything that man had to say.

She'd been the first to volunteer. Literally, she'd raised her hand so fast that it felt like she pulled a muscle. It hadn't been out of eagerness to walk into that trap, but rather because she'd do anything to keep Glenn out of harm's way.

And because the feeling was mutual, he'd gone straight to her parents to tell on her.

Really… Such a kindergartner move.

But Diana was an amazing opportunist. She used that to confront her parents and brought all her best arguments to the table on that matter.

She had a newly learned skill that she wanted to test out and that could prove to be of value on both offense and defense while out there. Also, her superior knowledge of useful drugs and medical supplies could save them precious time while scavenging. Not to mention the honest truth that a larger group might mean a larger chance of someone getting hurt. Who better to go with them than her?

Internally, she added to the list her need for validation. She needed to feel useful and, well, needed. It was selfish, but then again she'd never denied that fact.

She didn't actually know which of her points had weakened their resolve. It had probably been when she resorted to puppy eyes and literally begging at their feet.

There had been no pride involved.

oOo

Like it had become custom with Glenn and Diana before his runs, they'd gone stargazing that evening.

Their topics of conversation had flowed from the run the next morning to talk about relationships, somehow. It'd been a sharing type of moment.

Diana was very glad that she no longer felt enormous irrational paranoia and instant regret whenever she told Glenn anything about herself.

They had talked about previous romantic relationships, however lacking the subject had been. According to Glenn, he'd had one semi-serious girlfriend, and that had been back in middle school.

It had had quite a weird end to it. Glenn had seen her kiss another guy and when confronted about it, she'd just told him that she'd broken up with him the week before. Turns out she'd confused another guy for Glenn and had had the breakup speech with him.

Not really fun for him.

When the subject moved on to friendships, Diana felt herself close up. Glenn already knew about Mariana, but there was so much more regarding old friends that had scarred her. They'd really fucked her up in the long run. A cautionary tale, really. Don't open up to people, they'll only use it against you.

She'd come a long way in healing, but there was still an even longer way to go.

They talked for long until an enraged Alice came to call Glenn on behalf of Grinch Shane. He had some "final details" or some bullshit that he wanted to discuss that apparently couldn't wait until the morning.

Diana was just mostly salty whenever it came to Mr. Sheriff Asshat. It was already ingrained in her. Even her family had taken to calling him 'Testículo esquerdo do Diabo', which literally meant 'the Devil's left testicle'. She loved her family.

So, Glenn left with Alice after planting a kiss on her forehead and nagging her to get some sleep.

oOo

"The hell you doing up here?"

The sudden disembodied voice startled Diana out of her reverie. Her eyes snapped away from the midnight blue as she jumped up with her heart in her throat.

She sighed in relief when she saw who it was. "Jeez, dude. Make some freaking noise when you walk or something. Mr. Super Hunter over here." She could barely make out his outline in the dark, so she turned on the lantern.

Daryl squinted at the sudden light but stood still in his spot.

"Come sit down, at least. You look really ominous standing there like that," Diana told him and beckoned him over. He did it without a second thought.

When he sat next to her on the blanket, she dimmed the lantern down a little since the light was hurting her eyes. Daryl propped his elbows on his bent knees and let his arms hang forward. He probably didn't know how to sit any other way.

"You goin' with 'em tomorrow," he asked without really asking. Diana wondered if he'd really just stumbled upon her or if he'd come out to search for her.

She nodded and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Yeah, I am," she left it at that. She didn't need to justify herself to anyone other than her parents. No matter how good her relationship was with Daryl.

Daryl scrutinized her. Then he nodded and said, "Keep your head out there."

Diana added a quirked eyebrow to her confused frown. "Wait, that's it?" She'd expected some opposition, maybe some denial that her skills were up to par for the task. "You're not gonna patronize me or tell me I'm not good enough?"

He made a sound between a chuckle and a scoff while glancing up at the midnight skies. "You're woman enough to make your own decisions. I ain't the boss of you. And I know sure as hell ain't gonna be nothing I say that makes you stay put."

Diana's heart might have just skipped a beat there, only to return at full charge. Yes, to all of what he'd just said, thank you. She cleared her throat. "So… Keep my head?"

Daryl nodded once. "You act a lot outta impulse. Remember what you learned, that ain't gonna fly out there. Keep your head, think, act." He looked at her with a quirk of his lips and added, "In that order."

Diana rolled her eyes in good humor and snorted. "Joke's on you 'cause anxiety actually makes me question everything I do before I do it and immediately regret it afterward." It was 50/50, she was just as prone to recklessness.

He poked her in the head in response to her mocking matter-of-factly tone. She pushed away in slow motion, pretending to take a hit, her face contorting in a series of ugly expressions. She fell onto her arm to the side and laughed while using Daryl's extended hand to pull herself upright.

She didn't let go right away. Instead, she intertwined them loosely - so he wouldn't feel trapped, and laid them on her lap. Her fingertips grazed nonsensical patterns on the skin on the back of his hand, and she was lost in thought.

Her mind replayed her conversation with Glenn about friendships. He and Daryl had successfully become her friends ever since it all started. Slowly but surely, she felt like she could trust them enough to let them in without it leading to more emotional damage for her.

Despite that, she still somehow felt that she was forcing her existence onto their lives.

Glenn told her many times how glad he was to have met her, as she was to have met him. Deep down, she knew he meant it.

But Daryl. All that replayed in her mind was the first taste she'd had of his impression of her, the hurtful words he'd thrown at her face. It still seemed to her that that was his current stand regarding her. Apparently, it didn't matter to her mind that nothing was even remotely the same in comparison to all those weeks ago.

She felt small and childlike, but she had to ask. After all, she believed in the importance of communication in any relationship. "Hey, Daryl?" she began. He opened his eyes that had been closed in near bliss and made a noise of acknowledgment. "I was wondering… I think of you as my friend, right? And uh, like… do you ever feel like you're, I don't know, obligated to be my friend? Like you're here against your will?"

He pulled his hand away, retreating to his personal space. Diana's hands felt empty now and she started fidgeting with her fingers and cracking her knuckles nervously.

"That what you think?" he asked, voice low and gravely, "I ain't do shit against my will. I ain't done shit against my will in a long time. If I'm here, it's where I wanna be."

Diana had to very slowly face the other way to suppress the grin that had forced itself on her lips. She cleared her throat and turned back with a serious nod. "I see." There was a sort of giddy joy trying to explode its way out of her belly and it physically hurt to contain it. It was unprecedented.

She couldn't even look at him right now.

Then she came to the conclusion that due to his family history, Daryl might have the need to hear how important his existence was as well. It never hurt to be acknowledged and reminded that someone cared.

"For what it's worth," Diana said, trying to keep her tone as neutral as possible, "when I'm with you, I'm also where I wanna be." She hugged her legs to her chest and faced him, trying to convey that feeling through a look.

The low light in the darkness played shadows on Daryl's face. His eyes appeared darker than the inky skies and were just as magnetic to her. Diana couldn't look away for the life of her but she had no intention to.

Daryl broke the contact abruptly by turning his face away. He leaned forward into his propped legs and flexed his hands. Diana saw his jaw clench and the column of his throat move. Some higher power was yelling at her to reach out and touch him, but she was frozen solid.

There was a drum inside her ribcage, beating to an unfamiliar song. To drown it out, she cleared her throat softly and spoke up, "Heard you planned a big hunt tomorrow. Merle's volunteered for the run, though. You going alone?"

He rubbed his eyes with one hand. With a deep inhale, he whispered, "Yeah, don't know how long I'll be gone." He looked at her with a quirk of his lips. "You oughta come with and take a nap somewhere," he said, referring to the incident the week before. If she wasn't a nap person before, the count had moved to the negatives now.

"No, thank you. If anything, I'd wanna learn how to track like you do," Diana confessed and propped her chin on her palm. "Would you be cool with that?" She didn't want him to think she was trying to make him obsolete.

"Why not?" Daryl shrugged. "Ya got a damn great teacher."

Diana grinned into her palm. "The damn best." A shooting star caught her eye and she gasped in amazement. She felt around for Daryl's arm and slapped it repeatedly. "Didja see it? Oh my God, tell me you saw that."

Daryl stopped her incessant hitting by grabbing her wrist and returning it to her. He scoffed out a chuckle. "Yeah, easy, I saw it."

Diana slapped her hands together and shut her eyes. "Hang on a sec, I gotta make a wish," she whispered and hummed in thought.

She wished for… for… eh, she went for the generic health and long life for her and her family and friends. Right now, it was more relevant than anything else.

"You believe in that bullcrap?" Daryl raised an eyebrow and looked at her from the corner of his eye.

She finished up and leaned back on her hands with a shrug. "Doesn't hurt to try, right? Whether it works or not, at least I put it out there."

She craned her neck and looked to the twinkling stars. She didn't know if it was for lack of light pollution or what, but she'd never seen such starry skies. Her head tilted in confusion. She craned her neck even further back and then whipped her head forward when it became too painful to hold it.

"The hell you doin'?" Daryl asked, "Tryna give yourself whiplash?"

Her eyes were glued up again. "Can't find any constellations I know," Diana commented and then shrugged loosely with a snort. "I mean, I know a grand total of two constellations, but the sky here is different."

Daryl followed her line of sight and then pointed at the distance. "Ya got your North Star right there." He pointed to the brightest one in the sky. "So that's the lil Dipper right there, ya see it?"

Diana could make out the shape as soon as he pointed it out. A smile grew on her lips. "Oh yeah. The other one I know is Orion's belt. You know, for a self-proclaimed space geek, I don't really know a lot about it."

"I can fix that," Daryl said with a nonchalant glance at her. Diana wondered if he knew that he'd just quoted a line from one of her favorite movie subplots. He continued, "Ya gonna find Orion's belt there, those three." He pointed it out to her, but she couldn't distinguish them. There were just so many stars, it was an unbelievable sight. No matter how many times she'd seen it, she never grew tired.

Her eyes combed the skies. She shook her head with a slight frown and asked, "Which ones?" She saw Daryl move in closer in her peripheral vision.

She felt his body warmth against her back even though he wasn't touching her. He leaned over her shoulder, his warm breath falling on her exposed skin, raising goosebumps. He took her hand with enormous care and used her finger to point at the stars he'd mentioned. "There," he whispered.

Diana swallowed hard. "Uh-huh," she managed. Her breathing had become shallow and it was making her lightheaded. She didn't know if she was seeing stars literally or figuratively anymore.

His arm brushed against hers and her skin tingled where they touched. With her hand, he pointed out a cluster. "That's the Swan. See the cross shape?"

"Mmhm." Diana's bobbed in a quick nod. She didn't trust her vocal chords right now.

He showed her a couple more and then let her go. He moved back and they both fell silent. Diana gazed up to hide the fact that she was very conscious of Daryl's thigh pressed against hers as he leaned back on his hands and out of her peripheral vision. There was a subtle tingle underneath her skin. It was very distracting.

Diana uncrossed her legs, putting some distance again between them, and the vice in her chest loosened its grip. She felt colder. Not just literally.

She sighed and leaned back until she was lying down. She saw Daryl's eyes follow her. "You can lie down, too, you know? It's not reserved for the rich and beautiful." Since she was neither. "C'mon, sweet child, lay your head upon mama Earth's bosom," she said playfully in an elderly voice and patted the blanket.

Daryl smiled with a scoff of laughter and shook his head to himself. Hesitantly, he lied next to her.

Diana intertwined her hands over her belly and laughed. "Damn, that really looked like such a chore."

"It was," Daryl replied, "Try me again like that and I'm outta here." His lips quirked up.

She thought of how much a person could change once you get to know them and show them the love they deserve. Daryl was naturally playful, she wondered how much shit must've stained his life to cover that up. He deserved more than had been handed to him.

He interrupted her thoughts with a question. Being a borderline maladaptive daydreamer could be a pain in the ass when you weren't in the safety of isolation. She blinked at him and asked to repeat it.

"Ya gettin' lost again?" Heh, okay so he'd noticed. "I said, what's it 'bout what's up there that you love so much."

To be honest, her breath hitched at the way he said the word 'love', to be dishonest, she hated it.

Diana swallowed it down with a nervous chuckle and gestured at the diamond sky. "What's not to love? I mean, look up there and don't tell me you don't feel… significant? Yeah, that could be the word. I feel like I'm… like I'm alive, you know what I mean?"

She glanced at Daryl, who was carefully studying her. She continued, "I usually feel so small, but when I think that everything out there aligned so we could exist, so I could exist, it… it gives me a little bit of hope. It gives me a bit of purpose." She laughed. "I mean, it's blind purpose, but it makes me happy."

After a moment of contemplative silence, Daryl commented, "Damn, you went off the philosophical end. Thought you were gonna say 'cause the moon looks pretty or somethin' like that." His tone made Diana snicker.

"Man, don't get me wrong, the moon is pretty. I love the moon with a burning passion. There's nothing I don't like about space from an aesthetic point of view." She shrugged. "I'm just saying there's more to it."

"I swear to God, Diana, you stupid cow, if anyone else makes me come up here for your stupid ass, I'mma-" They heard Alice's exasperated voice before she was even in view. When she saw them, she stopped in her tracks, lantern up to her face.

Both Diana and Daryl sat up, Diana a little more abruptly as she scrambled to dial up the lantern. Under Alice's hard scrutiny, she couldn't help but feel like a child about to be reprehended.

"Hey, Daryl…" she started, taking cautious steps towards them. "You're up here, with my sister, alone." The last word was more hissed towards Diana. She'd gone and ditched all subtlety.

Her siblings were partial towards him, they thought he was kinda cool but had never interacted with him more than absolutely necessary. They also knew that her archery lessons had ended about a week ago. Diana guessed Alice wasn't that okay with them spending time together outside of that.

See, she did care.

Daryl stood and offered Diana a hand up. She took it with a grateful smile. As soon as she was up, he snatched his hand away and tucked them in his pockets with a glance at Alice.

"Mom said to come get you. She says that if you really wanna go tomorrow, you better act like you earned it," Alice said, closing in on them. She gave Daryl the stink eye and grabbed Diana's lantern off the ground. She shoved it at her and ignored her breathless huff. "You better say your goodnights now."

Daryl puffed out a breath of laughter and mumbled something that sounded like 'the guts on this kid'.

Diana adjusted the light of the lantern and smiled. "Guess I'll see you tomorrow when we come back. I'mma keep my head." She collected the blanket and folded it over her arm.

Daryl nodded in acknowledgment. Diana shot him finger guns with a click of her tongue as Alice dragged her away by the arm.

oOo

"They wouldn't like it," Alice said as soon as they were out of earshot.

Diana tilted her head and feigned innocence. "Like what?"

Alice rolled her eyes with a groan. "Whatever was going on up there. I don't wanna know, honestly, I don't care. You're a grown ass woman even though you act like you're fucking five sometimes."

"There's nothing-"

"Shhh shh, I said I didn't wanna know," Alice interrupted with a finger to Diana's face. The play of light and shadow on her face heightened her somber expression. "I won't tell mom and dad. They're already all over your case about tomorrow and…" she let it hang there.

Even though there had really been nothing outside of the normal parameters going on, she appreciated Alice taking her side. She and Felix had been very supportive of her concerning the run.

They'd said that they thought it was about time she proved to everyone that their family was the shit. Their words, not hers.

Diana nodded. "Thanks."


I love playing the game of oblivious denial.

Next up, finally we catch up to the show! All it took was 22 chapters and almost 100k words.

Don't blame me, I like developing my shit precociously!

Please leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback! Love you!