sad stuff happening but what's new
oOo
Diana could cry with relief! Those might as well have been the golden gates of Heaven opening up.
She was shortly blinded by the contrast before her eyes grew used to the brightness. She wanted nothing more than to grab her siblings and get all their asses inside, safe and sound. There was a sense of accomplishment, of gained freedom.
Rick walked in first with cautious step and a trained eye. He scanned the spacious inside and gestured for the rest to follow after him. Daryl covered the back, his crossbow smartly trained on any slowly approaching walker.
Diana ushered Felix after Shane and Dale, the boy's hand sweaty in hers. She quickly shouldered her bow to grasp at Alice's shirt, dragging her along. The girl protested and swatted at her sister's arm, trying to pry her fingers loose. Diana didn't care nor did she let go.
Once inside, the group spread about, taking everything in, searching the vastness of the lobby for any clue as to who had just saved their hides.
Rick's voice echoed off the walls as he called, "Hello?" over and over.
Diana felt small in that immensity, a sense of awed disbelief in face of the situation was filling her. She'd always imagined her quest for answers would be a long one, filled with trials. And although their journey had had its share of danger and tragedy, it hadn't taken long to reach the final destination.
"Let go of me," echoed Alice's hiss, and she sunk her fingernails into Diana's wrist in an attempt to ditch her.
Diana yelped and snatched her hand away, releasing Felix as well. She rubbed the half circles engraved atop her blue veins, then threw a hurt frown over her shoulder at a low-key smug Alice.
"Hello?" Rick called once more. The sound of a firearm locking had them startled and searching for the source. The children were dragged to the middle, away from the front entrance but also from any possible new threat.
Those who were armed had them ready for the offensive, which included Diana, an arrow nocked and aimed at the ground at her feet.
The newcomer, a middle-aged fair-headed man, stood ahead of them, in a doorway at the top of a staircase. His shotgun was trained on them, and his eyes were narrowed in scrutiny.
"Anybody infected?" he shouted, first thing. Well, good to see he had his priorities straight.
"One of our group was," Rick answered for them. He shook his head once and added, "He didn't make it."
Diana had to wonder, though. If Jim had been with them, would he have even been allowed inside? Would this man have even opened his doors to him? To any of them? Would he have condemned all their fates because of a sole desperate person in search of help?
The man descended the stairs slowly, aiming in their general direction. His eyes examined them, possibly trying to detect any irregularity - features twisted in pain, a change in posture, a favored limb, maybe.
He stopped a few steps short of the last one and asked slowly, "Why are you here? What do you want?"
Diana wanted to step in front of Alice and Felix but was afraid the movement would cause the man's attention to fall on them. Her heart was pounding with anxiety and slowly mounting rage.
One thing was to point a gun at her - she'd stared down plenty of barrels at the Vatos' hideout - but another was to have her brother and sister in the way of a bullet. The thought made her blood run cold and her guts tightened into knots.
The bow buzzed under her skin.
"A chance," Rick said, answering his question.
The man descended some more steps, confidence in his gait despite being outnumbered. "That's asking an awful lot these days."
A stab of pain in Diana's lower abdomen had her flinching, her irritation and impatience rising with it. They didn't have time for charades. She looked at the faces of those around her, their fear apparent. They were terrified of being shunned, the man in front of them their hope of salvation.
She swallowed her own unease, cleared her throat and cut Rick off, "Listen, man. We- we are tired, hungry, and scared, and if I'm being completely honest here, a little bit pissed off." Alice smacked her side and hissed at her to shut her mouth, but Diana was on a nervous rambling roll. Also, her head felt too light to think straight.
"We went through hell to get here. All we want from you is a shred of humanity, something we won't find out there. Please… don't send us away."
The man held her gaze for a long time, and Diana tried her best to look as innocent as possible, even though she knew she'd done nothing wrong. Much like the feeling you get when you walk past the police and are stricken with the sudden fear that maybe you've committed a crime you have no recollection of and they are onto you.
After what felt like an eternity of judging silence and examination of her and the other survivors, the man conceded with a nod. He quickly added that the price for their admission would be to submit to a blood test.
Rick agreed for them and the tension in the air slowly deflated like a balloon. Diana breathed in relief and shared a small smile with Felix. She gave him a quick one-armed hug and sighed once more.
They were told to bring their stuff inside, that once that door closed, it would stay closed. It sounded a little ominous, but this was coming from a guy that had greeted them at gunpoint, maybe that was just his thing.
Once they had everything inside, the man strode past them and swiped a card on a reader next to the main door. He then asked someone named Vi to seal that entrance and turn the power off in the lobby.
It was a joy to see the shutters roll back down, sealing away the cruel world of the walkers.
Diana turned to the kids, who were shouldering their bags, and said, "I think this is it. We're finally safe."
Alice looked up and around the large and empty room, and thinned her lips. "I hope you're right."
She looked around, wanting to share her optimism with her mom, an expectant smile on her lips. She would agree with her, for sure.
It took her a second to realize.
It took only a second for her heart to break anew, a physical ache stabbing her chest.
"- with us, Diana."
Rick's voice mentioning her name jolted her out of the darkness. A welcome distraction. She looked over her shoulder at him. He'd been talking to the nameless man up to that point, and now beckoned her over with a nod of his head.
She joined them out of curiosity. Rick introduced her to the nameless man, who turned out to be called Dr. Edwin Jenner. They shook hands and Diana said a pleasant 'nice to meet you' and heartfelt 'thank you', showing courtesy she had foregone before.
Rick clapped a hand on her shoulder and said, "She's been our medic since before I joined our group." He sounded proud of that fact.
Diana lifted one shoulder sheepishly and bit the inside of her cheek. "I mean, I'm not a doctor or anything… I was uh, a nursing student, so I don't really got the qualifications to call myself a medic." But she still did it and bore the title proudly.
"Qualifications or not, she's the best we could've hoped for," Rick said, almost bragging. His hand gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. Diana had the feeling he was just hyping her up with false boasts, but it felt and sounded genuine. As was the smile she returned.
"I'm glad to have a fellow brain enthusiast on board," Dr. Jenner quipped, but it wasn't very well received… considering that, well, zombies and all. "I am so sorry."
"Yeah," Diana dragged, feeling uncomfortable for him. Then she pointed up the staircase where he'd made his first appearance. "You think maybe you could…?"
Dr. Jenner nodded promptly and turned to address everyone, his voice echoing off the walls, "If you could follow me, please."
He escorted them to an elevator, which became unsurprisingly packed once everyone was on board. Felix was standing directly behind Dr. Jenner, and when the man turned to look over his shoulder, he seemed surprised to see that, after himself, the boy was the tallest person present.
"And how old are you?"
"Fifteen," Felix said briefly, his deep voice almost contradictory to his answer.
"Am I supposed to believe that?" Jenner joked, "May I see some ID, please?"
One of Felix's eyebrows rose, but his face remained otherwise expressionless, which made Jenner chuckle awkwardly and face forward once more. Alice coughed once on purpose to make the tense silence even more noticeable.
They rode in silence, Diana watching the white LED numbers descending to the negatives on the little screen above the elevator doors.
Daryl suddenly spoke up at her side, jolting her out of her thoughtless haze. "Doctors always go 'round packing heat like that?" he asked, breaking through the hum of the fluorescent lights.
Diana stared at him absentmindedly, Jenner's response lost to her ears and noticed a smudge of dirt on his cheek. She reached out subconsciously and wiped it with her thumb, his light stubble tickling her skin.
Daryl's eyes jumped to her at that, and they stayed for a few seconds before Diana lost her nerve and averted her gaze. Her belly felt too weird, which she blamed on her period.
When the elevator pinged to a stop and the doors opened, they were confronted with a very stereotypical medical-facility-white corridor. There were many doors along both walls and each of those doors was numbered.
The end of it opened to a large auditorium-like chamber. There was an elevated platform in the middle of it, and on that platform rows and rows of strange computer desks. Dr. Jenner addressed 'Vi' once more, asking her to bring up the lights in that room, which she did. Light panels turned on, one by one. They buzzed and hummed for a moment, adding to the echo of their feet as they ventured down the ramp, on Dr. Jenner's tail.
He jogged up a couple of stairs onto the next floor and turned to them with arms spread, saying, "Welcome to Zone 5."
Rick asked him where the other doctors and the rest of the staff were. Dr. Jenner's voice sounded small from the center of the room, "I'm it."
Diana's breath left her lungs. The shock was apparent among the others as well, murmurs surging in the air. She'd been expecting an institute buzzing with scientists from all kinds of fields of expertise, working together, studying the disease, maybe even already on the verge of finding a cure.
Perhaps her hopes had been too farfetched, but encountering only one person was just discouraging. It was hard to imagine he had the answers they sought.
The bow purred on her shoulder, into her chest, exercising a calming effect on her that she hadn't felt for the longest time. With a clearer mind, she followed the group as they were led by Dr. Jenner.
The next area he took them to resembled a lecture room, ascending rows of chairs on one side and a large wooden desk facing them on the other side, in front of a white projector canvas.
He gestured for them to take the seats, which they did, setting their baggage down and filling the chairs closest to the door.
Diana sat in the front row, leaning back on the seat and feeling her body slacken from its previous rigidity. Her muscles ached, every single one. Felix sat to her right, and Alice climbed to sit directly behind them.
Diana's leg started jiggling up and down, normally a habit, but there was a touch of anxiety to it this time. From the corner of her eye, she saw it. Felix's knee mimicking hers, the boy's hands folded in his lap, cracking the knuckles. She glanced over her shoulder and sure as day, Alice's leg was also bouncing. It was a habit they shared with Sam. Despite the pang of sadness, Diana managed to smile with affection.
Irene hated when they did that. Especially at the dinner table. It had always felt like a small earthquake.
Dr. Jenner returned shortly after they'd settled down, bringing a tray with everything he needed to collect their blood samples.
Diana stared after him, nostalgia hitting her. It seemed like ages since she'd last drawn someone's blood. She'd been good at it; it'd been one of the things she looked forward to the most every morning shift.
She wondered if she still knew how to do it.
About halfway through the group, Dr. Jenner beckoned Alice to come next.
The girl buried herself in her seat and crossed her arms, her hazel eyes jumping from the doctor to the tray on the desk, then to the exit door.
Alice had a fear of needles, always had. When she'd been little and had to receive her vaccines, you'd be able to hear her scream bloody murder all the way from the waiting room. Up until recently, she'd start hyperventilating when confronted with such a situation.
"Come on," Dr. Jenner coaxed, "You all agreed. I'm sorry, that was the deal."
Alice shook her head. "Nuh-uh, if anyone has to stick a needle in me, it's gonna have to be her," she said and gestured at Diana.
Jenner raised an eyebrow at Diana. "Are you sure you're competent enough?"
"The hell do you mean by that, pendejo?" she asked, her back becoming as rigid as a board. Sure, she admitted she didn't have enough qualifications to be considered a medic, but his question took it too far.
"Oh, no, I mean, all of you aren't in the best condition right now. Are you sure you're up for it? It's not too much right now?" the doctor defended, sincerely concerned that she'd taken offense.
Diana felt herself flush at her overreaction and sheepishly chewed on the inside of her cheek. What he said was true, but she knew Alice would refuse to willingly have him anywhere near her with any kind of pointy object, so there was no other answer other than 'yeah, she was up for it'.
She stood up feeling like a much older woman, her lower back tight and knotted, her thighs burning. She beckoned Alice with a tilt of her head, and the girl climbed down after her. They took the seats Jenner offered.
Diana glanced at the audience, curious eyes intent on her. It made her hands tremble slightly. She despised being observed like that, she used to get nervous even when it was only her instructor watching her.
Alice snapped her fingers and pulled her attention back. She gestured for Diana to keep her eyes on her, then grabbed her shaking wrist and said, "There's no way you poking me like that."
"Yeah, sorry," Diana apologized, shaking her head. She shrugged her shoulders to loosen them up, then clenched and unclenched her hands. The trembling stopped. "Kinda nervous."
She went through the motions automatically; hand hygiene, prepping the instruments, tying the tourniquet, searching for the vein, disinfecting the area. Then she punctured Alice's smooth brown skin, waited until the tube was half full before loosening the tourniquet, removed the needle and pressed a gauze on the spot. Like riding a bike, apparently.
She inverted the tube a couple of times before handing it to Dr. Jenner. He tilted his head in appreciation and accepted it.
He then finished up with the others, herself included, and with Andrea going last. After that, seemingly satisfied with the results, he stood and announced, "And now you eat."
oOo
Before heading to the canteen, Diana asked Dr. Jenner for directions to the bathroom, explaining her predicament rather bluntly. He answered with grace and pointed out the facilities. Diana then dragged Alice with her, since they were in an unknown place and she was terrible with directions, so her chances of getting lost on the way back were very high.
She also found out that Alice's cycle was synced with hers.
In the dimly lit cafeteria, the prepping of food was already in progress when they arrived. Whoever knew two things about cooking helped with the meals, which mostly consisted of stuff out of cans and different kinds of pasta.
She, Alice, and Felix helped the others set the table, searching the cabinets and asking Jenner for pointers. The domesticity of the atmosphere, the clattering of plates and cutlery, the din of overlapping conversation, it all sounded so familiar. It was painfully nostalgic.
It emphasized Sam and Irene's absence. They should be there, cooking and laughing, enjoying this haven.
Diana searched for signs of discomfort in her siblings. Felix was talking to T-Dog, he had his arms lifted like a marionette and was talking fast and excitedly, showcasing something to him, in that moment of silliness, T-Dog laughed and clapped his big hand on Felix's shoulder, making him stumble from his pose. Alice was fascinating Carl and Sophia by balancing a butter knife on the palm of her hand. They cheered when she added a second one to her other palm.
All for show, she thought. All for the sake of appearances. She hadn't talked to them about what they'd seen yet, it was too soon for that. But she hoped they would confide in her when they were ready.
Until then, all for the sake of appearances, and that included her. This was a moment of celebration, of joy. She didn't want to ruin that for anyone.
When the food was on the table, Diana served the kids, herself, and whoever shoved their plate in her hands. They laughed and rejoiced and ate and drank.
Despite her hunger, Diana struggled to eat her food - there was a knot in her stomach that didn't allow space for much. She moved around the bits on her plate, impaling beans with her fork and eating them one by one, trying to work up an appetite.
Felix had already devoured everything on his plate and was having seconds, he was a growing boy after all, but Alice was following Diana's path.
Diana tapped her fingernail next to her plate to get her attention and signaled with her eyes and a tilt of her head for Alice to eat up.
Alice looked emphatically at Diana's own plate with a raised eyebrow, silently calling her a hypocrite.
The older sister made a show of scooping a forkful of food into her mouth and chewing thoroughly, and only then did Alice follow suit, a mocking look on her features as she mimicked her sister.
Dale told a joke that escaped Diana's ears and everyone started laughing. Andrea was a clear exception, her quiet and still figure very obvious in the commotion.
Diana glanced at her as she sipped on her wine, her eyes staring emptily ahead, food untouched on her plate. She couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
"You know," Dale said, "In Italy, children have a little bit of wine with dinner." He offered Lori the glass of red he'd filled for her. "And in France," he added, bushy eyebrows raising in expectation.
Lori responded, saying that in that case, Carl would drink wine once he was in Italy or in France. Rick, good-naturedly, insisted she let him try a sip, because what harm could it possibly do.
Carl, blue eyes wide at the new experience, sipped on the bit of red wine poured for him and immediately scrunched up his face, saying it tasted nasty and sticking out his tongue. His reaction delighted Lori, and she patted his head affectionately while everyone else laughed.
"Weak," Alice whispered, swishing her soda inside its glass. She downed the contents and raised it to Dale. "Pour me some, Dale."
Lori looked at her in shock, Dale in amusement. He looked at Diana, asking for her approval.
She lifted a shoulder and tilted her head. "Why not?" she said. Mom and dad let her have some from time to time. "Just half a glass, though," she warned. Dale complied, much to Alice's chagrin and everyone else's amusement.
Felix refused when offered, quite enjoying his soda and not being really a wine person.
When Dale raised the bottle in her direction, Diana shook her head. "Nah, thanks, I don't really appreciate wine." Irene was a connoisseur - she could recognize the good stuff with just a whiff and the tracks the drink left on the glass. "Got any whiskey, though?" she asked Jenner, which made some of the survivors raise their voices in elated astonishment.
Daryl jumped down from his seat on the counter and grabbed something off a nearby table. He walked up behind her with a bottle of Jack Daniel's in hand, of which a quarter had already been consumed. He leaned heavily on her shoulders, making her sink forward. "Yeah, never woulda guessed our nurse here prefers hard liquor." He poured two fingers of the golden drink into her emptied glass, then pat her shoulder. "There ya go," he said and kissed the top of her head in tipsy joy, making blood rush to her cheeks.
He then turned to Glenn, telling him to drink up. "I wanna see how red your face can get," he provoked, grinning, satisfied at Glenn's inebriation. Diana chuckled when Glenn rapidly stood from his seat in exhilaration and promptly tipped over, almost crashing to the ground.
Alice sipped on her wine with gusto, while Diana sniffed at her drink, her nose twisting and burning at the pungent smell before she downed it in one gulp. She usually preferred fruity cocktails that tasted like they contained no alcohol, but something told her they wouldn't have those here.
A hot sugary taste filled her mouth, while a fire lit a path down her throat and bathed her stomach in flames. She inhaled sharply through her mouth and when she exhaled it felt like she was a fire-breathing dragon. The taste made her think of her grandpa – he'd used to pour a little bit of Ballantine's in his coffee cup after he drank it, and as a child, Diana had always asked to dip her finger in the drink, liking the way it burned her tongue.
She stared at the remnants at the bottom of her glass, swirling them. A sad smile graced her lips. She missed grandpa, so so much. She missed her mom and dad. The edges of her vision became blurry. She tilted her head back and blinked them away. Not now.
You know what, actually she wouldn't mind a little tipsiness to take the edge off, maybe make her forget recent events, if only for a little while. In her twenty-one years, she'd never gotten drunk once. She didn't know how her body would react, if the desired effect would be achieved, but there was a first time for everything, right?
She gathered her courage while they made a toast to Dr. Jenner and then beckoned Daryl over with a tilt of her head and her raised glass. He strutted to her with a grin on his face. His cloudy eyes were locked on hers while he poured the whiskey, and Diana rolled her eyes at his over-enthusiasm.
She drank more cautiously now, listening to Shane interrogate Jenner about the whereabouts of the other doctors because that was the reason for their being there. "This was your move," he said to Rick, contempt hiding in his voice. "To find all the answers. Instead, we found him. Found one man. Why?"
Diana swallowed the last of her liquid fire and set it down, feeling slightly nauseous and lightheaded. She listened to Dr. Jenner explain how many of the staff left to be with their families in the beginning, and how when the military got overrun, some either bolted or committed suicide.
"Jesus Christ," Diana whispered and grabbed the bottle of liquor from Daryl, who'd been standing next to her. She poured herself a double and downed it in two gulps, feeling the burn down her esophagus, how it warmed her body from the inside out.
oOo
It was wash-day for Alice's hair since she finally had access to running water. The whole process of pre-oiling, shampooing, conditioning, twisting, oiling again had taken her over an hour. It was something she enjoyed, she took great pride in her hair, pampering and primping it was somewhat cathartic.
This time it took her back to when she was little. Alice kneeling on the bathtub, water up to her belly button and toys floating beside her. Felix laughing as he hit the water and it splashed, the droplets hitting her closed eyelids. Irene massaging Alice's scalp soothingly, twisting her hair into sections, rinsing it with the toy water can.
It made her heart ache.
That day she'd done the same for Felix. Up until recently, it had always been mom who would wash his locs, he'd always been too lazy to do it himself, had always said it took too much work.
Alice had showered and then waited until the women's lockers were empty and had called him in. He had sat in his boxer shorts on the floor of one of the shower cabins, Alice kneeling behind him, and she'd washed his hair like mom used to. Her fingers had been gentle instead of her usual harsh prodding and yanking - her own kind of comfort.
She'd let warm water fall gently over her brother throughout it. He'd covered his face with his hands and his shoulders had shaken, but never once did he let his crying be heard.
She had sent him to the room he'd claimed for himself after he told her he was fine. She didn't believe it, but she wasn't one to press people. And she usually preferred not to talk about emotions anyway.
Now, she twisted her hair and wrapped it with one of her "lost" silk scarves that she'd found in her mom's baggage, and dressed in clean mismatched pajamas.
She took a lasting look at the mirror, at the face she was learning to not hate (but failing at it). The fading acne scars from many treatment sessions, the too-wide nose, the unplucked brows slowly knitting back together. Puberty had brought with it a deluge of self-image issues. She hadn't been able to look in the mirror and be satisfied with what she saw in years.
Maybe the problem had been with mirrors themselves. She'd almost forgotten about all her deficiencies since their vacation had started. They'd been pushed to the back of her mind in trade of more pressing issues, such as her own survival. She'd had no time to look herself in the mirror, no time to consider beauty and imperfections.
She immediately hated herself for thinking it, for even considering that it was a good thing that the apocalypse started. Look at all it took from her! How could she even…! UGH!
Alice pushed herself away from the sink, hateful scorn in her eyes glancing back at her, and she left.
On her way to her room, she saw Diana sneak through the hall, her steps clumsy and hands gliding along the wall.
Alice sighed. Oh, how she wished she could be drunk right now. But no, Diana had gone and stole that from her, forcing her to stay sober to look after her. She couldn't hold it against her, though, Diana was five years older than her and had never once gotten tipsy let alone drunk, while Alice had indulged herself more than enough.
Alice considered following her sister and putting her back to bed but shook that off. She'd lost her patience with her. She'd followed Alice after dinner, into the lockers when she'd gone to shower and had talked nonsense into her ear the whole time, breaking into laughter in the middle of her sentences and grabbing onto her, weighing her down.
So Alice had led her to one of the cabins and doused her with cold water while she still had her clothes on. The reaction had been funny to her, the wide eyes and uncharacteristic profanity, but since Alice was a Good Sister™, she helped her undress, both almost falling over multiple times. Then she'd supervised as Diana washed her body, making sure she didn't slip and hit her head, she'd cared for her hair, then yelped and jumped away as the water at her sister's feet turned red. Oh, how Diana had laughed and Alice had cursed at her.
She had considered abandoning her there after that, but the thought of her sister wandering the facility, drunk, butt naked, and blood running down her legs was not one she was okay with. So Alice had stayed, fetched her fresh pajamas, and had even gone through the trouble of sticking a pad to her underwear! I mean, she'd be hearing a thanks once her sister was sober, she'd make sure of it.
She'd wanted to dry her hair and style it for the night, but Diana had been too fidgety and hyperactive. So Alice had taken her by the arm into her room, which was next to hers, and had tucked her into bed, even indulging her sister with a 2-second goodnight hug, truly spoiling her.
She watched Diana disappear around a corner. She entered her room and closed the door behind her. She would check up on her later, to make sure she hadn't dropped into an alcoholic coma or lied in a pool of her own sick somewhere. But for now, she was too exhausted.
She leaned heavily on the door and let herself slide down until her butt hit the carpeted floor.
A deep sigh escaped her, and with it, it seemed, the barriers she'd been building.
It replayed in her mind on a loop.
Alice heard the commotion from outside, screams, and even subtler than that: the undying moan of the dead, a sound that set her heart racing and caused her to share a look with Felix, his eyes wide in fear.
She abandoned Diana's book – she'd been reading the stuff her sister had written on the borders; it was like a diary up in there. She'd found some pretty interesting stuff, especially about a Chinese girl she'd been repeatedly dreaming about. She would save that for when she wanted to make fun of her pansexual ass, as petty revenge for leaving the way she had.
She and Felix stood outside, clueless as to what was going on. Irene and Sam were on them as soon as they set foot outside, their figures in the dark scaring the shit out of them.
The panic was coming from the center of camp, away from them, but Alice didn't have time to focus on it. Their parents told them to keep quiet and low and ushered them towards the tree line.
Sam helped Felix climb up the nearest tree, and in turn, both helped Alice up onto its lowest branch.
At her dad's hushed request, she climbed further up.
Sam began helping Irene when a walker disguised in the darkness came up behind him and latched itself onto him, a fountain of blood gushing out where it ripped flesh off his neck.
Alice blamed herself for not seeing it coming, for not warning her dad on time.
Irene screamed and Felix sobbed, and Alice held her hand down as far as she could, yelling at her mom to grab it, to come up, forcing her eyes away from the walker grabbing onto her dad as he used his last strength to fight it off.
Irene grabbed the bat off the ground and bashed the walker on the head with a cry, but it wasn't enough to kill it. She grabbed onto it and pulled with all her might, yelling profanities, and with a final tug, it was off of Sam and on top of her, both toppling over onto the dirt.
Alice could only watch on, too shocked to move, as another walker appeared from nowhere and fell onto her mom, the woman's screams ringing in her ears, her dad's limbs twitching as he reached for his wife, as blood poured out of the gaping hole in his neck with every final heartbeat, a puddle of it widening around him until he stilled.
Felix's screamed for them, sobs rocking his body. Once their mom's voice ceased to be, the walkers were attracted to his, looking around trying to locate him, and Alice slapped her hand over his mouth, feeling his spit and snot smear all over her palm.
In the moonlit darkness, Alice could see her mother's lifeless eyes stare directly into hers, and a shiver ran down her spine.
Alice held Felix's shaking form as he sobbed into her shoulder, precariously swaying them on the branch they sat upon. She shushed him when the walkers lazily followed in the direction of the gunshots.
They jumped off the tree, Alice too numb to even acknowledge the pain in her ankles, and Felix dropped to the floor. He vomited there and then crawled to mom and dad's side, wailing.
Then she heard Diana calling for them, and in a feat of some sort of instinct, she grabbed dad's knife from its holster and ran into the woods, leaving Felix behind with mom and dad and, soon, Diana.
She didn't wander far into the trees, her feet were tripping in the darkness and she didn't want to fall on her face. She stopped once she couldn't discern any sound from the camp and sat sheltered by some tall ferns, her back to a tree, pushing her knees to her chest and staring straight ahead.
Mom's screams, dad's twitching, blood, screaming, sobbing, silence. Over and over, replaying inside her head like a broken record, stuck in that loop.
Her head perked up with a sudden sound, a stray walker; it hadn't seen her, but it could smell her, its head tilting, following its nose. She stood, slowly, walking around the tree, creeping up behind the clueless creature and she kicked its knees, bringing it down.
With a furious fire lighting inside her, Alice body-slammed the walker from the back and its face cracked on a rock when it fell. With a yell, she brought the knife down with both hands, breaking through the skull, and in the dark, she could see and feel its gooey brain matter and blood seeping and gushing out, onto her hands, speckling her shirt.
Tears fell, unannounced, with each stab and each profanity that she screamed at the creature. By the time she tired, she stopped, panting and gasping, the knife embedded into the bloody mass under her.
No, no tears!
She wiped her face on her forearms and her bloody hands on her striped shirt.
Alice sneered down at the walker. She fucking hated them, if she had disliked them before, now she despised them wholly. She would kill them all.
She would kill them all.
I'll kill them all, Alice thought, standing, traipsing to her belongings. She grabbed her dad's knife off the top of her clothes. She rotated it in her grasp, SRL engraved on the hilt, her dad's initials. He'd gotten it as a prank gift from an older brother, but it had only been put to good use since then.
The blade had a dull glint in the fluorescent light. She let the tip of it turn on her fingertip, not breaking the skin but poking it.
She didn't care if her quest was impossible; she would make it her goal, her tether to life. Revenge.
She felt rage bubble up inside her, starting from her stomach, warming up her blood until she could no longer stay still. If she stayed still, she would explode! It felt like her chest would tear open at any second.
She wanted to yell, so she grabbed the pillow that had been laid out for her and screamed her lungs out into it, the sound muffled even to her own ears.
With it came tears of anger and frustration, and sorrow and grief, and the knife sunk into the pillow, stabbing and stabbing repeatedly until feathers were floating all through the air.
And Alice found that it didn't feel half bad. The next thing she attacked was the sofa, its foamy innards soon decorating the carpeted floor and the fabric cut to ribbons. She turned the knife to the walls, scratching through the irritating white paint.
She let it fall to the floor and flew to her bag, rummaging through it until she found one of her hard charcoal pencils.
She stood on the naked sofa and turned to the white walls, and with hard scribbled lines and wide arches of her arms, she wrote in big letters the words she'd been mumbling to herself, I'll kill them all. She didn't care if it looked insane or overly dramatic, she needed an outlet, she needed to turn her rage outwards or she would destroy herself instead.
When she was done, she let everything drop, exhausted, and laid down on the foam and feather-covered carpet, the only audible sounds the hum of the light above her and her ragged breath.
A timid knock on the door roused her from her almost sleep, her half-lidded eyes widening and turning to the door. She sprang up, seeing some feathers that had gotten stuck on her scarf fall down with the sudden movement.
She considered ignoring it, but it sounded again, so she groaned and got up.
"What?" she hissed out, opening the door just a crack. She didn't know if she should be surprised or not to see Felix standing there, shoulders shaking as he sobbed.
"Can- can I sleep here tonight?" he somehow managed between hiccups. He looked miserable, a deep wrinkle where his brow was furrowed in sorrow, and snot and tears staining his face.
Under different circumstances, Alice would've slammed the door in his face, but this time there was no doubt as to what her answer would be.
She opened the door all the way back and allowed him entrance. He looked shocked at the state of her room, his eyes lingering on the wall writings in particular, but neither commented on it.
Since the sofa was out of order, Alice laid out the blanket on the foam and feather-covered floor. She gestured towards it and Felix lied down, immediately curling on his side. Alice turned off the light and laid down next to him, letting her baby brother cuddle up to her side.
"I uh- I don't have any pillows," Alice commented with a scratchy voice. "That okay?"
"I don't care," Felix murmured into her upper arm, which he was hugging to himself in comfort, his breaths coming out in gasps.
Alice sighed, her heart going out to her brother. She felt more like the older sister that day than the middle one. She tugged her arm away, turned to face Felix and tucked his head under her chin while putting her arm around him. He immediately put his around her too.
She usually hated this kind of thing, the physical contact, the dealing with others' emotions, but this was more for his sake than hers. She tightened her hold on her brother when his sobs caused his entire body to shake.
"I miss them, too," she whispered, pressing her cheek against his locs, feeling her throat burn. "I miss them a lot."
i love Alice and you should too
pls leave a nice comment, make my day
i dare you
