Edit: I'm gonna be on vacation until Sept. 3rd with little to no access to the Internet, I hope you can understand the inactivity. Love you all!
oOo
Lightheadedness made her sway up on her perch, which ultimately led her to climb down the tree. She didn't want to remain stationary for long. That was the best way to accomplish nothing. And the best way for the pressure she put on herself to choke the air out of her lungs.
So, once grounded, she found herself a sturdy fallen branch to use both as a defense against any walker she might encounter and to support her atop her tired legs. She rounded the farm, stalking around it like a predatory animal, examining her options.
She was too weak to keep looking for Sophia, those were the shitty shitty facts. She was hungry and thirsty and in pain, her judgment was clouded and her reflexes sluggish at best. Intrusive thoughts exhausted her mind, driving her to near insanity with negativity.
But she didn't want to give in, didn't want to turn to the more comfortable variable.
She couldn't trust the farm people; she didn't know them, how they would react to her sudden presence. Not that she was much of a threat in her state, but what if they thought she was bait? Or that someone from a larger group sent her to scout them. That's what she would've considered. She'd never trust a lone small girl appearing out of nowhere. Straight up creepy.
So what if that had been what happened to Sophia? Like her, she'd found the farm, and now she was being held captive in there somewhere.
But then again, she was naturally too damn cautious. Not everyone shared her mindset. Although they should, 'cause she was rarely wrong.
Things changed when she spotted a human figure breaking through the tree line about two trees away from where she had been perched. She crouched, her thigh muscles giving in halfway and forcing her to her knees, still grabbing onto her walking stick.
The only feature she recognized was the hat on the guy's head, and that was enough to know it was Rick. Her heart lightened inside her chest and a knot formed in her throat.
She squinted at him as he ran up the field toward the farmhouse. Rick was holding a smaller body; it jostled against his chest like a rag doll, and he had to slow down multiple times to adjust it.
He'd found Sophia.
She exhaled deep and slumped forward, forehead leaning against her hands around her walking aid. Relief and something sharp and contradictory playing opposite games in her mind. The next breath she took was accompanied by a sob, surprising her.
Her hands flew to her mouth, letting the branch fall to the dirt.
Despite her best efforts, she hadn't been the one to find her. It was selfish, yes, but she had hoped to redeem herself through that little girl. By finding Sophia, she'd be saving someone, at least someone.
She was used to putting minimal effort in everything she did and still coming out with the upper hand, succeeding even if by a small margin. Not this time.
Everything hit at once, an avalanche of repressed emotions and thoughts she assumed she had been strong enough to ward off. Relief, yes, but also hurt, regret, rage, grief. She hadn't been able to save her parents; she hadn't been able to save a little girl. It tore through her, ripping a hole in her chest.
And Alice cried. Alice cried like she hadn't in a long time, like she hadn't since grandpa had died, and it hurt. The sobs that shook her body, the whines and cries that burned in her throat, eyes that swelled and flowed with unending tears. She was at her most vulnerable. She cried because she hated it. She cried because she felt useless. But ultimately, she cried because she really fucking missed mom and dad.
oOo
Once again, Diana had to agree with Lori. They'd ignored the gunshot since none followed, but Lori was suspicious, saying Rick and Shane would never use a gun to put down a lone walker, that they'd do it quietly.
Diana agreed, as much as she'd want to hold her dislike of Shane against him to accuse him of such stupidity, she knew he was smarter than that. To admit it left a bitter aftertaste on her tongue. And after Rick's trigger-happy tirade when they met him in Atlanta, she knew he had learned his lesson in stealth.
Something had happened.
But as Daryl had said, they couldn't run around chasing echoes. They had to keep to their plan. At this point, Diana stopped caring about Sophia entirely. And she couldn't look Carol in the eye without being overcome with annoyance. She resented those feelings at first but came to accept them.
Ahead of the others, she leaned against a tree, her back to them but ears tuned to their words. The roll of her eyes was automatic when Andrea and Carol began speaking. To Diana, it sounded like they were hosting a pity party for two, or more appropriately, a pity competition. One said how sorry she was and that she understood what she was going through, then the other said how she couldn't bear the thought of not knowing where Sophia was and hoped she didn't wind up like Amy.
Diana had to gasp at that one. She looked over her shoulder, at the two women, and saw the hurt in Andrea's face and the dopey regret in Carol's expression, along with her hasty apology. Her soft, pitiful voice was grating to Diana's ears.
She ignored anything that came from that conversation after that. Instead, she looked at Felix beside her and gestured with her head to keep walking. His eyes were dark and hard, and his jaw was set, lips pursed. She went to caress his cheek, but he pulled away, shaking his head once. Diana nodded curtly in understanding.
She also didn't like people touching her when she was already feeling irritated.
oOo
Alice waited. A bought of dizziness spotted her vision, and she bowed her head, beads of sweat rolling with gravity and dripping off the rounded tip of her nose and chin. She leaned heavily on her branch so she wouldn't tip forward.
She would wait.
Shane and an unknown man had followed Rick up to the farmhouse some minutes after the sheriff's surprise appearance. If those two were there, it wouldn't be long until someone else from their group joined them.
Maybe even her brother and sister. Perhaps they had been searching for her after all.
She tracked the sun's descent by the long shadows it cast on her surroundings. Once it was low enough that it became blinding on eye level, she heard and then saw a truck driving down the front way, the tires loud on the occasional gravel, dragging her to high alert.
Not long after, someone set out riding a horse. The humorous part of her brain that hadn't yet slipped into unconsciousness made her murmur a 'yeehaw' as the person and their horse disappeared into the forest.
She didn't know if she should be taking everyone's departures as a good sign or not, and to be honest, she was too exhausted to think.
She pushed against the tree she was leaning against with a groan, using her stick as leverage.
Enough speculating.
She began the long walk up to the farmstead.
oOo
"I wish Dale would have a warm meal waiting for us," Diana said sarcastically, "also the cure for zombie-ism, also a way to bring your loved ones back to life. That too much to ask, you think?" She whacked a fern out of her way, feeling the sweat running down her back as her muscles flexed.
With the sun setting, casting its golden pre-dusk light through the forest greens, they'd decided to call off the search… again.
"Nah," Daryl responded, "add a million bucks to that list."
So now they were heading back to the interstate so they could resume in the morning… again.
"And a tracking device to implant under our skin like people do to their pets," Felix added, swinging his bat in front of him.
"Good idea," Diana said, "I'm sure Dale can procure that in… how long to the interstate?" She pretended to look at a wristwatch.
"Shouldn't take us more than ten min-"
A prolonged scream of terror interrupted Daryl, making Diana's heart rate pick up. Her hand grabbed onto Felix's sleeve. She had a small, vain hope that it might be Alice, but it was shot down when Glenn noted that Andrea was missing from their ranks.
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes and followed as the others took off running in her supposed direction. Why, on this bitch of an earth, would Andrea think trailing away from them would be a good idea? Especially now.
But still, out of the slowly dwindling goodness of her heart, Diana took the bow off her back, ready for anything.
They found Andrea down on the grass, still screaming her throat raw, kicking away at a walker that leaned over her. Its hands always came back no matter how many times she tried to fend it off, clawing at her bare calves, tugging on her clothes.
Diana felt Andrea's panic in second hand, dreading the second her skin would tear, and the sickness would find another host to infect. Daryl raised his crossbow at the same time Diana took aim and drew the bowstring, but someone beat them to the punch.
A horseback rider swept in, and with a magnificent arch of a baseball bat, the walker flew off Andrea and to the side. Its limbs still twitched, but the chestnut horse stomped on its head with a front hoof. Had they trained the horse to slay zombies or something? Impressive.
Diana was sure her jaw hung open, if not, it had once the rider spoke and Diana looked up and saw an attractive woman with short brown hair.
Her southern accent and velvety voice as she called for Lori made Diana's chest grow warm. She guessed that accent had become a bit of a turn on for her ever since things with Daryl became ever so slightly complicated.
In a rush, she explained to them that Rick had sent for his wife because Carl had been shot. He was still alive, but Lori needed to go with her immediately.
That shed some light on the gunshot from before, but who had been the culprit? And if the boy had been shot, who was caring for him? Did they have the necessary equipment and expertise?
Diana gnawed on her bottom lip, knowing her skills would never suffice to treat a gunshot wound, especially in its acute phase. She hoped whoever was looking after Carl didn't need her help. And even if she could be of service, there was no way she'd be able to ride back with them.
In resume, there was nothing she could do.
Daryl tried to warn Lori not to leave with the woman since they didn't know her. Diana knew better than to think no one would ever lie about something so serious; earlier experience reminded her that bad intention could fuel people to do and say almost anything.
But the woman knew them by name. And she knew that they were stuck in that vehicle barricade at the interstate; only their people could've told her that. She explained how to get to their farm, signing off with a cry for the horse to take off in a gallop.
Lori gave them one last look over her shoulder, the wide eyes of a worried mother, before they were lost to their sight.
Question: did the world hate children? 'Cause that's what it started to look like. All these horrible things happening one after the other.
Diana looked at her brother, irrationally scared that something might come out of the blue and get to him, like a walker or a white cop fearing for his life because Felix was holding something that might or not resemble a weapon. Except the last one wasn't so irrational.
That had been Diana's biggest concern stepping out of the airplane. That and that someone would take a look at her dad's frowning face and feel threatened, and would call the cops on him or worse. That's why she'd been looking forward to camping and being away from big cities and people for almost the entirety of their stay.
She glanced down at Felix's hand in a tight fist, then slipped her fingers into his palm until his grip loosened and their fingers were intertwined. He didn't pull away this time. When he met her eyes with confusion, she said, "I'll never let anything happen to you, ouvis-te?"
"I don't know what you're on about," Felix sighed and squeezed her hand, "but same."
Diana scoffed lightheartedly, a hint of a smile on her lips.
oOo
Her legs burned with each step, and it felt like someone was pressing on her chest from all sides it was so hard to suck in her breaths. Alice imagined if that was how her sister felt during an asthma episode. She guessed not.
The sun was low and in her eyes but still hot as if it was high noon, making her skin slick with sweat all over, breaking out at her hairline and rolling down her face and neck into her shirt. A shirt which had become halfway to a crop top by how much she had to cut to stuff in her underwear. She felt unclean and grimy, and the dust that her feet kicked up clung to her damp skin.
She longed for a long cold shower and the comfiest bed in the world, heck she'd even settle for second comfiest.
She was stopped as she reached the wooden fence around the farmhouse. Some guy that appeared to be a few years older than her and an older blonde woman stalked in her direction, the dude taking the lead called out for her to stop right there.
"Gladly," Alice said to herself, dropping her stick and leaning heavily against the fence, letting it take her weight. The wood creaked but held.
The boy, let's settle with calling him boy, held a crowbar tightly in his hands, and his mouth was downturned as if to intimidate her. "Who are you? What do you want here?"
Easy there, cowboy. She shielded her eyes from the sun, swallowed around her dry throat, and said, "I'm with Rick, please." She didn't know why she was pleading, but she guessed playing innocent and defenseless would come across better to strangers, even if it was rather pitiful.
"How do I know you're tellin' the truth." The boy thrust the crowbar in her direction mistrustfully.
The older woman put a hand on his forearm, bringing the melee weapon down. "Look at her, she ain't a threat. Poor thing's about keel over." To Alice, she said, "You need help walkin'?"
She wasn't that pitiful. She shook her head. The woman extended a hand to her out of courtesy, to show her the way. Alice smiled tensely at her, letting them take the lead.
She heard her name and looked up toward the house. Rick and an elder man stood on the front porch, bathed in golden light like some sort of biblical figures. Rick took hesitant steps down the stairs as if disbelieving his eyes. Then, when Alice confirmed her identity with a small wave, his gait gained slow speed until he was almost running to her, surprising her most of all.
Alice stood awkwardly still, not knowing what to expect nor what to do. He stopped right in front of her, giving her space to access his bloodied self. His expression wavered between relief and sadness like his face muscles couldn't decide which mental state to display. And bitch, if that is not a mood, Alice didn't know what was.
Eventually, Rick's hands found her shoulders, and he smiled shortly at her, settling on relieved. Alice had kinda expected him to hug her, but she inwardly thanked Rick for respecting her boundaries.
"You found us," he told her with a deep exhale.
Maybe it had been the way he'd given her credit instead of claiming it for himself, or perhaps it had been because Alice was exhausted and thought she'd never see a familiar face again. Whatever the trigger, his words caused her to choke up. She felt her face pinching into a – admittedly not very attractive – almost crying face.
That was when Rick pulled her into his arms, strong like her dad's, and Alice wept into someone's embrace for the first time in a long time.
oOo
Back at the interstate, decisions were being made.
Carol didn't want to leave, because what if Sophia came back and they were gone? And Andrea agreed that it would be pretty shitty; paraphrasing. So Felix watched them negotiate from outside the circle, trying to act nonplussed by the fact that even after everything, they still weren't mentioning his sister.
He was getting fucking sick of it.
"You know what? Foda-se." Felix's eyes widened at Diana's sudden cussing. "If you're gonna base all our moves around one person, then I'm out. In case you forgot, my little sister is also out there. I- I can't deal with this bullshit right now." In the midst of the surprised stares, she turned to Carol and said, "Carol, I'm sorry, it's really very fucking shitty that Sophia's lost and alone, but she's not the only one, and I'm sick and tired of this obvious fucking disregard." With that said, Diana walked away, leaving the others looking at each other in astonishment.
Oooh, she snapped. Damn, Felix never thought she'd go there. I mean, he was feeling it, he just never thought she'd say it. She used to have a short temper in her teens but had gotten pretty mellow as a young adult. It should've obvious this would be the kind of distressing situation that would cause her to explode.
He got ready to go after her, knowing she needed her space and time to unload but also shouldn't be left alone with that frame of mind.
Glenn crossed his arms and shrugged sheepishly, breaking the silence like he always did on this matter, "Not to beat a dead horse, but she's right. I me- I mean, we're doing all this assuming Alice is gonna miraculously follow Sophia outta the woods. I know our plan options are limited, but the least we can do is mention her name while we're at it."
Not exactly the best thing he could've said, but Felix appreciated the effort. He watched Glenn leave after Diana with a grateful nod.
Carol covered her mouth with her hand, eyes shiny with new tears, and Felix looked away, not ready to be guilt-tripped into caring. He wasn't Diana, with her constant need to validate everyone's feelings. The truth untold: there was little he cared about outside his family circle.
oOo
There was nothing out of Glenn's mouth that Diana hadn't thought to herself before to calm herself. Still, she appreciated the comfort he was willing to give her. But also, none of it eased her righteous indignation.
For the time being, she was willing to push aside her own feelings so that she could be objective and contribute to the group. She refused to be pitied and refused to be deemed useless.
When she and Glenn came back, Daryl had come up with an alternative plan. Dale, Carol, and Felix would remain at the interstate with the RV, in case either of the two girls showed up. Daryl and a volunteered Andrea would go do a nightly sweep of some forest areas they might not have covered before. And it was intended that she, Glenn, and T-Dog would go to the Greene farmhouse.
Diana tried to argue that she'd rather go search for the girls, but Daryl countered that she was too close to the subject, she needed to distance herself a little. She knew he meant it for her own good, but she still felt pissed off at him for assuming things about her on her behalf.
Andrea, trying to appeal to her nurturing nature, made sure to point out that Carl was injured and might need her help, not only that, but the Grimes might need a friendly face, ergo, her friendly face, during such trying times.
Very reluctantly, Diana gave in. But only under the condition that Felix went with her. They agreed.
oOo
Alice hadn't taken the news of Carl's shooting well. Two reasons: the apparent threat to the boy's life, and him being there meant she had been wrong about Sophia.
After being given a meal, a new shirt, and a sofa to rest upon, she had been tempted to get back out there, now that she knew where to return to. Maggie had been the one to foil her plan. She caught her trying to sneak out the literal back door and forced her back inside.
Maggie was friendly and very pretty, which left Alice reeling for a second, subdued. Then, she'd sent her sister Beth to keep her company. Beth was sweet and had a tinkling voice that reminded her of wind chimes caught in a gentle breeze. But despite their help and good intentions, Alice still felt patronized as hell.
She wasn't a child in need of babysitting. She understood that the thing with Sophia was out of her hands now, fine.
For some reason, Beth had a guitar with her when Alice returned from the bathroom. She sat on the sofa, strumming the strings and humming something. Oh hell no.
"I gotta catch some fresh air if that's alright," Alice said, desperate to get out of that room.
Beth looked up with her wide blue eyes. "Oh, I thought I could play somethin' for you," her accent made her sound so innocent somehow.
Alice forced a smile and waved an awkward dismissal. "Maybe next time." If I wanted music, I'd sing to myself, blondie.
Beth stood to follow after her, but Alice stopped her with an outstretched hand, feeling the annoyance start to rise. "Listen, I need some time alone. I can promise I won't run off."
She navigated the mostly quiet house to the front door, avoiding looking at the room where Carl lied unconscious, and Rick and Lori watched over him. A quick glance over her shoulder confirmed Beth's absence. She sighed and walked out into the night, the front porch creaking under her feet.
The darkness was tightly woven; it didn't allow for any light except the one coming from behind her.
The sound of someone clearing their throat had Alice's head whipping around to face the source, startled rather than scared, a hand flying to the knife at her hip.
Maggie's green eyes looked up at her, her figure backlit by the window behind her as she sat on a rocking chair. She glanced at her hand, and Alice let it fall to her side.
"New habits," she justified curtly.
Maggie nodded in understanding. She had an air of expectation, so before she could strike a conversation, Alice turned her back on her and descended the front stairs to sit on the last one. Maybe if she ignored her, she'd take the hint. Alice desperately hoped so, she was so not in the mood for speaking, in general.
She had shown her gratitude for the things they'd done for her, she felt it was enough.
And now, with Sophia no longer her responsibility – not that she'd ever been – Alice's focus and drive fell on something else. Someone else. Diana and Felix.
Rick had told her how desperate they'd been to find her, how persistent and defiant. Oh, how Alice wished she had been there to see her sister lose her shit and finally showing her anger. Speaking of her anger, Alice knew there'd be nothing half-hearted about it this time around. And no Felix to deflect it.
She almost dreaded their reunion. Hershel had agreed to have someone escort her to the interstate first thing in the morning. At least she had until then to prepare herself.
The sound of an engine brought her out of her anxious thoughts. She squinted and saw headlights breaking the darkness as a car drove up the pathway. She looked over her shoulder at Maggie, but she seemed to be unbothered, sitting still and observant. That calmed her somehow.
The car was parked, and the lights turned off. She heard the squeaking of the gate as it opened and closed and saw figures approaching the house, murmuring among themselves. They were hit with the spray of light from the windows and Alice's heart jumped as she recognized the faces.
She stood up slowly, catching their attention.
Her breath caught in her throat when Felix said her name with his deep voice. God, he sounded older. Was that even possible?
Diana broke out from the back of the group, eyes fixed on her. She handed Felix her bow and slowly removed her backpack, dropping it at her feet with a thud. Alice began sweating.
She took hesitant steps toward her and the light reflected in her teary eyes. Okay, so maybe Alice wasn't about to get her ass whooped. Diana's lip trembled, and Alice stood with hands awkwardly clasped in front of her.
"You…" Diana began, voice wavering, "…are so fucking dead."
Oh, Scheeeeisse!
Alice backed up the steps, her heel caught on one, and she almost fell on her butt. Then Diana started toward her and Alice pivoted and climbed up the stairs on all fours, straightening herself on top. She couldn't go inside the house, Carl needed his rest.
Diana began climbing the stairs, probably thinking her trapped. Alice reacted by taking off running past a perplexed Maggie, sister hot on her tracks. She vaulted over the banister and Diana followed, uncaring about the drop. Why was she so persistent?
Alice could barely see the ground underneath her feet, but she hightailed it around the house, tempted to run to the barn and hide out in there for the night.
"Come…here," her sister panted behind her.
I wanna live to see the clichéd sunrise, so I don't think I will, bish.
"Promise you won't be mad," Alice whisper-shouted.
"Too late!"
At this rate, she'd be back at the front of the house in no time. She slowed down around the corner and rammed into a tall figure blocking her path, yelling out in surprise.
They held her tightly, lifting her off the ground as she thrashed… until she heard sobbing. She stilled, and her feet touched the ground again. She heard Diana's voice above the sobs, calling Felix's name.
"Felix…" Alice repeated.
"I hate you so much," he whispered, his voice right next to her ear.
Alice hated the sound of whispers, the sibilating sound made her skin crawl, when added to the nauseous feeling caused by the tight heat of her brother's embrace, it all became unbearably uncomfortable.
"Please let go," she pleaded calmly, seconds away from lashing out. She knew he needed that closeness, but she couldn't take it at the moment.
Diana's shushing came accompanied by the loosening of Felix's arms. Alice stepped away, avoiding both their gazes.
"We never stopped looking, just so you know," was the first thing Diana said around her heavy breathing. "I know a little bit how this thing works." She poked Alice's forehead forcefully; petty revenge. "You probably thought it, amirite?"
Alice scoffed and concealed how she'd hit the bullseye. "You really don't know me." She'd missed them so much.
Diana startled her by sighing theatrically and feinting a backhanded slap. "I reaaaally wanna hit you right now, but what the hell would that do?"
"You still should," Felix said, recuperated, "punishment for being a stupid dumbass."
"Yeah, right." Alice crossed her arms almost conceitedly. She didn't know why she'd been so scared of this moment.
There had been a time when Diana wouldn't have hesitated to discipline her physically, but that had been many years ago. Alice knew how much she regretted her actions back then – something she liked to throw in her face every once in a while, to guilt trip her –, she would not resort to that.
"I know the perfect punishment," Diana said and opened her arms to her. "Ten seconds each, no negotiating."
Alice gasped, then shook her head fiercely, tightening her arms over her chest. "No, nope, you can hit me." She slapped her own cheek. "C'mon, let it all out."
She steeled herself with eyes shut, but nothing came, only deafening silence. She opened her eyes to see her unmoving sister, Felix's watchful eyes.
A whine came out the back of Alice's throat, and she stomped her foot childishly. "Five seconds."
"No negotiating."
"Eight."
"Ten."
"Oh my fucking God, why're you like this?!"
"That or a fifteen-second sandwich hug, your choice."
Alice didn't need to ponder, the math said it all. "'Kay." She nodded, feeling defeated.
She walked into Diana's arms and felt Felix envelope both in his long arms, keeping it light. She heard Diana sigh deeply, and it hit her just how much they'd gone through. She felt terrible for causing them all that worry and wanted to say it, but the words wouldn't come out.
Those fifteen seconds ended up feeling like an eternity, but this time, Alice didn't mind.
leaving a comment is a really nice way of letting the writer know if you like their work and if they're doing okay. honestly guys, i just wanna know what you think.
