so i literally wrote this chapter on my commute to uni and back the past two days, and i think that's the perfect solution for my lack of time for writing.
so here you go, a chapter in which i literally used no episode reference and went by memory alone, hope it's congruent enough hahaha

okay, enjoy! and i wanna thank all the amazing people showing me tons of support lately, i never thought a story that had been sitting idle for over a month would get this amount of love. thank you, you guys, you were the biggest source of motivation that fueled the creation of this chapter and hopefully many more to come!


oOo

"So, let me get this straight, bro. There's a walker inside the water well? Is it- Have we been drinking from that water?" Alice's voice cracked as she held a hand up to her belly and the other to her tightened lips, feeling like her lunch would catapult out of her stomach at any given time.

Felix stared back at her, the curl of his lips mirroring her disgust as he shrugged heavily. Alice felt the turmoil burn in her gut and rise up her throat and had to swallow hard. "Oh my God." She took a couple of deep breaths, then said, "I gotta see that shit."

Felix walked by her side, telling them of their unsuccessful attempts to lasso a rope around the walker, then, as an afterthought, he added, "But like, can you even call it a walker if all it does is splatter around in the water some."

"A splatterer, a kiddie-pool-swimmer, one of the shallow-enders?" Okay, Alice knew their jokes were inappropriate considering the situation, but if not now, when? She needed to cope somehow; idiotic humor was all she and her brother had left in reserve.

The warm yellow sunlight was beating down on the group as they stood around the well-hole, staring down into it with grim concentration. T-Dog was holding a fishing cane, which in itself was funny enough that it didn't need mentioning, and Shane was dangling some rope over the edge.

"How's the swimmer, people?" she asked once she and Felix were close enough to step in next to them and look into the dark wet abyss. Alice's disgust returned thousandfold, dragging itself out with an involuntary gag.

Standard walkers were already repulsive enough; filthy, decomposing carcasses – but this bitch was on another level. It reminded her of a part of The Last of Us that she'd played for Felix – he'd tried just playing it through with her in the room, but had still been too scared, so she'd had to do it in his stead – and there had been a part when she was down in the sewers, and there was an acid-vomiting water zombie that she had to either kill or go around, she couldn't remember the details.

The only thing missing was really the vomiting. It was so swollen and grey and weird. It kinda looked like Michelin's mascot's uglier drug-addict brother. On some really heavy drugs.

And then she saw that the reason T-Dog was holding a fishing cane was that there was some ham tied to the end of the nylon string. It hit the swimmer in the face once or twice, but it didn't take notice and continued to claw at the stone walls with its peeling sausage fingers.

"Swimmer?" Glenn asked, acknowledging their presence. "We took to floater, but swimmer sounds less fecal."

Andrea shot him a glare.

Felix nodded at Glenn's commentary. "Hmm, floater's appropriate, though. It does look like someone forgot to flush the toilet."

Alice stifled a snicker, finding Andrea's reaction humorous as she took the turn to glare at her brother.

"Boys, really?" she asked.

"What, so poop – result of a natural body function – is more revolting to you than that bish down there?" Alice asked bitingly, really disliking Andrea's tone.

She had no sympathy for the woman's situation, not when she'd lost so much as well.

Andrea didn't respond, sparing her an indifferent glance. That only succeeded in fanning the flames of Alice's anger higher. Her brow flattened, and she opened her mouth for a biting remark, but Felix grabbed her upper arm with a shake of his head. It's not worth it, his dark eyes said.

Alice took a deep breath. He was right. Andrea wasn't worth a second thought. She loathed to admit it, but she was glad he was there to anchor her while the rein on her emotions was loose. But she hated the fact that they were loose to begin with even more.

Someone suggested they use live bait, to which Felix suggested a chicken, but the idea was shot down. The reasoning behind it was that a chicken wouldn't put up much of a fight, which wouldn't attract the swimmer's attention long enough to follow through with the lasso part of their plan.

The silence that followed Andrea's suggestion of a human bait was heavily expectant. Alice looked up and noticed every pair of eyes directed at Glenn.

With the exception of T-Dog: what the hell is wrong with these white people?! Do they get off on putting the lives of people of color at risk? Do they take turns choosing who was the next victim? Would she be next? Would her brother?

You know what? Scratch that, to spit in their faces, she would volunteer to go down the misery hole. She would show them up by taking the control out of their hands. That way they didn't have power over any one's life.

Did that make any sense? It did in her head, and that's really all that mattered.

"I'll go."

There was a round of silent astonishment as if they were digesting those two words. Then it thundered rejection. On all sides.

If she weren't pissed off, she might've been impressed at their homogeneity.

"Why the ever-loving fuck not?" she asked, and it was Felix who answered.

"If you don't want me to kill you."

"Or Diana," Glenn added. "We just got you back, and she'd never forgive any of us if we got you in danger."

"Good thing I'm making that decision for myself. I don't remember any of you telling me to do shit."

Don't get her wrong, she wasn't trying to defend any of them from her sister, but she needed to get the point across that she was the decision-maker in this, not them. She made her damn fate. She'd endure even the consequences of the stupidest of choices as long as she made them.

This was probably one of those stupid choices. But she'd be damned if she didn't go through with it.

"Listen up, I am the smallest and lightest of all of us, and I'm quick. What more you want?" Her words had conviction and left no room for argument. It helped that people were selfish and no one would willingly want to be dangled as bait for a human-flesh-eating-beauty-pageant-winner, so no one was willing to contradict her.

"I'll do it." Except for her brother.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Don't be stupid." His hands were shaking from how terrified he was.

"I hate that I agree to this, but Alice makes some good points. Unfortunately, she is our best chance," Glenn agreed reluctantly. His eyes widened. "Please, don't tell your sister I let this happen."

"Why are you so fucking scared of her, she's literally all bark and no bite." At least, not anymore.

It was T-Dog who shrugged in response. "You shoulda seen her back with the Vatos. I'd hate to be her enemy, that's all I'm sayin'." He made a subconscious move to shield his groin, and the question literally died on Alice's lips.

"So, you're doing it?" Shane resumed and interrupted Dale as he began to speak up against it, owlish eyes wide under his bushy brows. "It's her choice, and the best one we have," he almost sounded unsure of himself, almost.

"Yes."

oOo

So that's the story of how Alice found herself inside a dim and damp well, a rope structure tied around her waist and thighs, a swimmer swatting at her swinging feet. She was glad she had opted for her combat boots despite the heat and the foot sweat because she was able to give it a few good kicks to the hands and head. Nothing too forceful that would cause the water to be further contaminated.

That was another thing she didn't get. Were the others really going to drink from this well? Like, really, that was a thing they were willing to do?! Even if they got the swimmer out without spilling blood and gunk, there was no way in hell she'd drink from there. Like, she could be dying of thirst and would still refuse. A big bold bleugh from her.

She planted both feet against the slippery rocks at a wide angle, so the swimmer had nothing to grab. Her flexibility came to good use as she began leaning her upper body forward, adjusting her weight slowly, straining the inside of her thighs until she was practically doing the splits.

She hoped they could get a good look from above. She wanted to show them just how perfect she was for the task, how next time they should shut up and listen to her sooner.

Her internal bragging was cut short when her foot slipped, and her heart rose up her throat. She heard a panicked yell from above, but the rope around her held steady, only causing her to slam against the inside walls, cringing at her precocious self-assurance.

In that second of freefall, the swimmer caught her boot and chomped down onto the leather. It didn't break through, of course, but the fright was enough to make her squeal and kick it in the face.

Like she suddenly remembered the rope in her hand, she formulated a quick plan, heart still beating in her eardrums. She found her footing, faster this time, no tricks. Then held her hand down until it was almost within range of the swimmer's stubby swollen arms. Once it reached for her, she threw the lasso over its arms, and it naturally fell the rest of the way down to its disgusting abdomen.

She gave it a slight tug and was glad to see it tighten without slipping away.

And then she yelled for them to bring her up, legs shaky and jelly-like, fear and adrenaline in her system, but oddly satisfied with herself.

oOo

Alice didn't help pull it up. After what she'd done, no one even bothered asking her to. She stood next to T-Dog, who couldn't and wouldn't strain his arm – to think he really found Diana scary – and both supervised and guided the job.

The swimmer was slowly heaved out of the well, its wet skin dragging against the stones with an unbearable squelchy sound. Once its upper body appeared over the edge and the sunlight hit its hideousness, Alice thought for a second that she might legit throw up.

Its eyes were the size of ping-pong balls and swollen shut, the inside of the mouth was so oversaturated with water that the teeth were vastly spread over the colorless gums, like old tombstones rising from the soil. It snapped its jaw languidly like it still had a chance, and Alice suddenly felt pity alongside the disgust.

Not for the person that it once had been, but for the creature it had become. Even though it had tried to take a bite out of her, even though they were mortal enemies, it felt more like an animal than a monster.

It hunted and ate because that's all it knew how to do. And wasn't that just so fucking sad?

Her train of thought was interrupted when they pulled and pulled, and she noticed the thing wasn't going anywhere. It was stuck on the edge.

"Stop, stop, stop," T-Dog called, holding out a hand for the group doing the heavy lifting. "It's stuck," he said, pointing out the obvious.

"What do we do now?" Andrea asked from the back of the line.

Alice looked around, coming up with an ingenious solution. Seriously, what would they do without her? That wasn't rhetorical. She really wanted to know.

Her eyes spotted a piece of piping that had probably belonged to the water pump and went to pick it up. It was slightly brown with rust but it held when she tested its resistance. She rejoined T-Dog, who was observing her, and faced him from the other side of the well, showing her find.

"We gotta slip this under the swimmer, then we all pull up at the same time, get it?"

T nodded. They both knelt out of grasping reach of the swimmer. Alice slid the pipe along underneath its back until T-Dog had hold of the other end. Then they positioned it under its mushy bum, and T gave the signal. The others resumed pulling the rope while they helped lift its lower half.

It was straining but successful, and the swimmer rolled over and began crawling as soon as it was free. T took the pipe in his hands and speared it through its head before it could get very far. Alice stuck her tongue out in repugnance and covered her nose while bypassing the disfigured thing.

She walked up to him with a raised hand for a high-five, and he complied with a winning grin. Felix joined them while the others patted each other on the back. She heard someone say they should keep this stunt of hers between them and she inwardly couldn't agree more.

She waited for them to come to her, then said, "I'm still not drinking that walker soup, though."

oOo

Diana sighed and rubbed her temples with almost too much force as if wanting to hurt her headache back. She plopped down onto the foldable chair in front of her tent and drained her water canteen like it was a desert summer day.

Lori had just come to her for 'professional' advice, opening with the line "I'm pregnant." That had given her flashbacks to when Amy had come to her for counsel on the same topic. And Diana had been just as lost as back then.

And then she'd told her honest opinion, which hadn't been much to Lori's delight. She'd told her to think hard and logically about it, to look at the world around her. Was that the world she wanted to bring a baby into? Not to mention the complications she or the fetus might suffer from malnutrition, dehydration, and, to be honest, the woman was almost unhealthily thin. Had she birthed Carl normally? No, Lori had told her; a C-section. Which had only proven Diana's point further.

In the beginning, it had seemed she was ready to agree with her, but she took a 180° turn and scowled at her. She threw in her face that she was only saying such things because she didn't understand the joys of motherhood, of feeling the baby growing inside of her, knowing she'd created life.

Diana hadn't said anything, mostly because it was true, but also because in the midst of those words of frustration, she'd glimpsed her future. She was motherless and fatherless, but she might also remain childless for the rest of her life. It saddened her to the core, a dull pain atop all the aches in her chest.

She was happy not to be a mother yet; she was young and completely, totally not ready, but she had had plans. Finish nursing school – a goal she would have fulfilled before next summer -, travel the world, move out of her parents' house. Maybe have a boyfriend or girlfriend along the way, marry when the time was right and have children – two of them because those first five years of sibling-less life had been the loneliest she'd ever experienced. Basically, everything tied neatly with a ribbon.

As the Americans say: a white-picket-fence kind of life.

So naïve and unattainable. Another life to mourn.

She found Rick sitting on the porch when she meant to go to the bathroom to wash her face free of invisible tears. His light, bloodshot eyes scrutinized her as she batted her hands at her wet lashes, cleaning up evidence. But he said nothing, for which she was grateful.

She walked past him to her original destination, and when she came back outside, he seemed to have been waiting for her. Diana wondered if he knew about Lori's pregnancy but kept shut about it. Not her news to tell.

Rick invited her to sit next to him, saying he had some news to tell her. Diana almost rolled her eyes externally. Internally, she definitely did. What was it with the Grimes today?

But she sat down dutifully. Knowing Rick, he wouldn't tell her something unimportant, and he wasn't one for idle gossip.

"I don't know how to begin," he began, elbows resting on his knees as he seemed to go over his thoughts to pick his words.

"No restraints or sugar-coating, Rick. I'm grown enough to hear whatever it is as it is."

He looked at her, the corner of his lips raised in a painfully small and sad smile.

"Hershel, he…" He cleared his throat, and Diana could almost guess what was coming. She still let him finish. "He's given us a deadline. The day we find Sophia, as soon as Carl gets better, he wants us gone."

Diana let the words roam in the air for a bit as if she was shocked. So, Glenn's observations had been correct. She hadn't expected anything less from him and his keen eyes, but to hear confirmation to that theory was disheartening.

She nodded slowly in acceptance and relayed her line of thought when Glenn had presented that hypothesis. "I can understand him." She spared Rick a glance to measure his response, but he waited for her to continue. "We're a strain on their lives, Rick. Strangers. So many more mouths to feed. It's… it woulda been more questionable if he had just accepted us with open arms. Then I really woulda gotten the hell outta here before sunset.

"But… it's alright, I think. We'll find Sophia, Carl will get better, and then we'll go. We'll find someplace better, just for us. Someplace where we will be the ones to decide who to welcome into our home."

One thing she liked about Rick that many men lacked *cough*Shane*cough*, was his willingness to listen to whoever had something to say.

He smiled at her, a real one this time, like a beacon in the midst of all the grim darkness. "This is what I like when talking to you, Diana; that astounding optimism." He gently stroked the top of her head. If it had been someone else, it would've felt patronizing, but coming from Rick, it made Diana's chest feel warm with childlike happiness. "That sounds great."

If only things were that simple. It was still a nice thought, though.

They sat in silence for a moment, which Diana took to think about the near future, about what she'd just told Rick. Her line of thought was interrupted by the man himself, grounding her to the present.

"I've been meaning to tell you. Jenner-"

"Oh, Daryl," Diana called, rudely but not purposively interrupting Rick, when she spotted Daryl saunter past not far away, crossbow hanging from his shoulder. She didn't even know why she'd called out, considering the awkward tension hanging between them momentarily. The sight of him had caused her to perk up in her seat, a little more awake than before. A little gasp escaped her lips when he looked their way.

Rick had touched her hair before, had he messed it up? She tucked her hands between her legs to resist fixing it.

She caught her behavior a second too late when she noticed Rick observing her with his too perceiving and piercing eyes. What was she even doing?!

She cleared her throat and slumped in her seat, acting nonplussed. Suddenly she felt too hot, sweat beaded on her back and neck and melted into her shirt.

Daryl nodded at them as they met him halfway. "You want somethin'?"

Oh, shit. No, not really, she didn't. She'd just acted on impulse. She widened her eyes at Rick, silently pleading for support. She just hoped he would help her through this lapse of judgment and then never confront her about it, letting it slip into oblivion.

Rick, thankfully, came to her rescue. He asked if he was going out to go search for Sophia. Daryl responded accordingly with a sneer, stating that it had been the plan all along, and asking if there was a point to that delay or if Rick just wanted to point out the obvious. Ooh, bad mood. Understandable.

Diana stepped out of her stupor and into the conversation. "You should take water and food with you," she advised.

Daryl's eyes flickered almost involuntarily to her, but he otherwise kept them on Rick. He didn't acknowledge her words even though it was clear he had heard them.

Diana's brow furrowed but she continued, confusion tinting her tone. "For Sophia, you know? Could be she hasn't had anything to eat or drink in a long time. She's probably famished, the poor girl."

Her interest in Sophia's wellbeing had returned as soon as she'd set eyes on Alice the night before. She couldn't say the same about Carol; her behavior of dismissal of other's feelings over their losses because of her own was deplorable. At least Diana had cared about her little girl until it became apparent little to no one had the same sympathy towards her.

Rick nodded at her and faced Daryl. "She's right." He glanced back at Diana with something unreadable stapled to his face. "I'll ask Hershel if there's anything he could spare. It is in his best interest."

Then he left them. And Daryl still wouldn't look at her, just kept staring ahead at where Rick had once stood; looking like a statue.

"You okay?" Diana asked hesitantly, even though she felt like yelling at him for acting so strangely. Why was he actively making things better and then worse again? Pushing and pulling. Was it some kind of trick? Act cold towards her so when he's sweet again, it will be unexpected and heart-pounding-inducing? That would be sick and so unlike him.

Still, he ignored her. She saw his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed hard but remained stoic, and then he turned to leave.

"Hey!" Diana called out, now rightfully pissed, and grabbed his upper arm. Before she could make him face her, he shook her off and left.

She was stunned. Heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. Another ache on top all the other ones. Her first thought was 'I did something wrong, that's why he's leaving me. What did I do wrong?'. Then she corrected herself: 'It wasn't me. I did nothing wrong, and I'll get to the bottom of this'.