Chapter 7: A Skyrim Chritmas and New Year

Authors Notes: tihs is very late Chritmas specail but I coulnd't upload due to cricemstances even though I wanted to on chritmass day. So I also make this new year as well even though it is alte for that too :( Also this is very long kinda crazy lol but it isa a christmans madness

It was critmas in Skyrim and all was Chrismes time aprt from da pepole in Skyrim do not have chritmas as they dont warship Jeebus Crust but Talos who is like Viking Jesus, so they were a clebrating Talosmass where all the pepole had Talosmas Trees and gave out Talosmas preasents and song Talosmass charols and ate turkes.

O Talosmass tree, O Talosmass tree!

How are they leaves so Realstitic!

O Talosmass tree, O Talosmass tree,

How are they leaves so Realstitic!

Our heros were sat round the roaring fire in the inn where talosmass was a being celabratuted. There was good cheer all wound and thing were fun. Hongi the Furius got a christmas sword from Lyida a new amoru from the knight and a book from bob.

It's beginning to look a lot like Talosmass

Ev'rywhere you roam;

There's a war tree in the Grand Inn, one in the Yarls home as well,

The Nord kind that doesn't mind the snow.

The knight got a mace fron Hongi, a noble steed from Lyida and an epic poen from Bob.

Akatosh rest le merry, gentlemen

Let nothing you chicken out

Remember, Talos, our Pwner

Was born on Talosmas day

To save us all from Mehrunes Dagon's power

When we were all noobs

O tidings of Kickass and pwn,

Kickass and pwn

O tidings of Kickass and pwn

Bob the Bard got a new musical istrumeantal from Lyida, a magic hatt from Hongi and a compas from Zelda from the Knight but Bob was Boddicted to Honey due which now had a new Talosmass falvour with figs . Also gingerbreadmen that were killered and gorunded into the new recipie. So he didnt not notice as he was drinking it to much and he didnt buy anyone any presents and it was Lydia who bought them all. "Silly bob" sighed.

Meanwhile

The Brewmaster Sabjorn was luathing "we have that stupid Bard adickted to my brew and now he is our top custmer". "Yes your exleclency we must reward our top ccustmer" the hunchback assistant said. "Yes he is a bard und he can sing song of praise for our mead and we vhill be richer then Talos himself ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah" Brewmaster Sabjorn chuckled.

So Bob became the adictisermeant leader of the honeydrew meadery and made songs and averts for it. He made poems too and also edocrmenat in therarores.

Meanwhile

Alice was in the collage of Winter holm and loking into the distance dramtitcly, she was no longer Alice that was no longer her name, she was not called that anymore. She now had a new name a mage name which was not Alice, "my name is no longer Alice, I have that name not more. For my name is not Alice anymore My name is now ... Alyce"

Alyce would not longer answer to Alice anymore as that was her old name of her old past. She was making a new future now with mage powers more powerfull than before. But would her freinds still recongise her with her new named they only new her as Alice would they know her as Alyce? But her apreance was still same but they might be confuse by teh name.

Have yourself a merry little Talosmas Let your heart be hights

From now on our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Talosmas

Make the Yule-tide straight

From now on our troubles will be miles away

Here were are as in olden days happy golden days of yore

Faithful Mages who are clear to us gather near to us once moar

Though the years we all will be together

If the Fates allow Hang a shining trait star upon the highest skill tree

And have yourself a merry little Talosmas you noob

She opened her Talosmas gifts and wheant for the Talosmas mage traing sasion which was inrattic of the tallest tower of the collage. All the most itellguacals students would bee there so she hadd to be ready to show of her stuff.

Meanwhile

Unra Stoneheart lvoed Talosmas cause she got to steel pepole pressents and make them cry. She was looking for foolish victems and saw some. There was a boring family sitting in a surberon housed. The dad was smoking a pipe and the mother was netting a jumper for little Timmy, the little gril Grace was playing with her barbie which had bloned hair and fashion like erath barbie but had a horse and carrige instead of a car and a Nord prince instead of Ken. "Talos bless us everyone" said Little Timmy.

Than Unra Stoneheart burst thought teh door and steel all the presents in the house and then blew up the town using a fire spell. Than she celbrated Talosmas with all the presents and money she had stolen for herself. She put the barbie and fire turck in her toy collection which she screately liek to collect.

Grace would grow up to be a supervillianes called Grace the Graiter who had army of aligaters and roder an gaint cybernetic aligator.

Timmy would become a top Mafia gangster call Skinning Timmy and his catphase would be "Talos bless us everyone beucause the only blessing ya'll get is from the end of my tommy gun"

Meanwhile

The Sheriff of Riften had an greedy skeem "I have an idea of how to make more money and taxes from the poor this Talosmas and make me evan richer this year. Ha ha ha" The Sheriff of Riften said with cunning. "What is it your grace" his asstiance said "Silence you fool. I will tax the temple of Talos more as they are getting money to feed to poor but I will use it only for myself" The Sheriff of Riften decalred.

Meanwhile

The Temple of Talos only had one gold ccoin as noone had doniated. But than the Sheriff of Riftern men came thought the door "give us you money". "This is our only donated septim it is to go the poor or they do not hav anyintg" said the presit "Give me that shit you don't need that you have to pay the taxs for Sheriff of Riften" said the guard leader so they took the last spetim and stole it for tax money.

But Just than Little hood came with his merry men and the forted three guards and got the one septim and used the money that they had stole from the rich to donate to the Talos temple so they cold free the poor. "Nine bless you Little Hood" the presits and preistesses sayed.

Than Little hood and his merry men rode of sining songs.

Little Hood, Little Hood,

Riding through the Skyrim,

Little Hood, Little Hood,

With his Merry men,

Feared by the bad, loved by the good,

Little Hood! Little Hood! Little Hood!

He called the greatest archers to a tavern in Riftern,

They vowed to help the people of the Emporer,

They handled all the trouble On the Skyrim country scene, And still found plenty of time to sing.

Little Hood, Little Hood, Riding through the Skyrim,

Little Hood, Little Hood,

With his merry men,

Feared by the bad, loved by the good,

Little Hood! Little Hood! Little Hood!

Meanwhile

"Your greatness I have news of the Temple of Talos sir" the adivors said to the Sheriff of Riftern "yes snakeeyes" Sheriff of Riften said to his suck up adivosr. "well...welll...wealll" snakeeyes saided "OUT WITH IT" Sheriff of Riften roared like lion "Little Hood stoped the guards, saved the one septim and dotated to the temple". "LITTLE HOOD" Sheriff of Riften shouted and kicked his assitant in anger. "I am going to ban Ban Talosmas!" Sheriff of Riften raored.

Than there was a voice "having problems with the temple we can help with that" it was an evil elf. "We hate Talosmas and think that it is the rong we have had an elf spie living under your bed in a secrate chamber. He is a wood elf so he is good at looking small and doign steatlh".

"I will agree to this alliance" the The Sheriff of Riften and he banned Talosmass and other stuff.

Meanwhile

THe evil elves os the altmerainumg Dominioned were a plainning to steal Talosmas and stoped his from being warshipped once and 4 all.

THe evil elves made an evil elves amy to kill all Talos warshiping dudes cause they hate Viking guys.

The Elven solgigers were formed in balloons and were given swrods and weepons as well as spells and over things. They also had mathmoths and giants who they made slaves to fight war. The amres marched to destroyed Talosmass for always. Also they were oined by the evil snowmen lead by the evil brother of Frosty the snowman.

THe elf amry wheat into a city were they had a Talomass cleiibartion and got all the troops to attack and mascara all the inocent civllians living there. Than the made they city like fire burn. The new reached Skyrim of the bad event!

Mreanwild

Hongi the furious was reading his letter he go from his hot Viking Wife

Dear Hongi

Happy Talosmas, I hope you are well we are happy and your mum is doing well. Your little Sister Hongina is growing up and she is get marryed ext year hope you can make it and are not to busy fighting Dragons. We misss at Talosmas and hope you can save Skyrim as a brave hero.

Love, Your Hot Viking Wife

There was aalso ntoiced sent to Hongi the Furious from the Evil Evles written by an evil Elven woman, who did not no that Hongi is the Dragonborn

Dear Sir or Madame

We are the Altmarian Domnion and we are going to killer anyone who celbirates Talosmas and kill them. Stop celbriating this event or die you cant' resist or fight us you would only bee succideding yourelves. Give up now and will give you a quick deaf.

Love Taresare Takanawa, Altmer Hero and Talosmas hater

Hongi the Furious sent reply to her

Dear Taresare Takanawa

We are Viking guys and celibrate Talosmas and will aways to so. We will never surrenter are soviernity to the evil elves of the domionioned and fogrin rules evan if it is in da consition of the empure cause that is mistaken. We will fight to deaf

Love Hongi the Furious, Nord Viking Hero and Talosmas Lover

Then the war began to rage and armes fort over armies. Arows were fire, spells were blast and swords were stab. There was mass voilance and kill. The Honeymead company were using this as a way to sell more mead and Bob with a barman was there selling stuff to both sides while dirinking the stuff himself, getting both sides adicts. They were beeing sold with the solgan "drink it don't think it!"

Hongi the Furious, Lyida and the Knight were killing loads of evil elves and making them dye. There was such epic battles. The snow men were using freezers but were going to freeze all in a millasecound when the mages came and melt them with fire. Evil frozty made retreat as he didn't care about stopping Talomas as his pepole were all mercaneises and forted only for money$. There was a myserous woman with a mage hood "who are you" axed Hongi the Furerois "my name is Alyce" said Alyce who used to be called Alice. "I reconise you elf, I knew a girl who looked like you and it is strange an elf would help us Vikings agaisnt the evil elves she would have done that" Hongi said "I know who you speak of and she still thinkk of you guts".

THan dramtic battle went again, The both side were going to kill each over for good when there was a "ho ho ho" and Santa clause came from the sky on his slay "I am ear to stop the war and killing"

Meanwhile

The Sheriff of Riften was sleeping and then he was vistied by the Three goasts of Talosmas. to stop him siding with evil Elves. This is like Scrooge from the Cristmases charol which I based this on.

The Goast of his beast frined came and said he would be visted by three sprts.

The first was the Goast of Talosmas past which showed the Sheriff of Riften his chillhood were he spent Talosmas at his boaring skool and always liked the tlaes of warrior Talos.

The Secound was The Goast of Talosmas presentant who showed that pepole hate him for banning Talosmas and siding wit the eivl elvis.

The Third was the Goast of Talosmas future which showed futrue were his guards had muitioned and killered him in public.

The Sheriff of Riften swore to stop his allaince with the eivl elves and got his delgigates to break the treeaty. Evyboady cheered and was hap. Even Little Hood was impressed that the The Sheriff of Riften cold change his mind but he still hated him and each other.

Meanwhile

Santa came with his raindear army and Talosmas elf armes who a tougher then the Chrsitmased elves we have on earth as they are like Lord of the Rings Elves but cans also make presents as well. They used pressent guns and firework machines and power magic. The raindeer more power too as they are magic monster raindeer and use magic.

Soon the evil elves were beat for now but they would return they got a letter telling them this.

Dear Hongi the Furious

I am writing this to inform you that this is not over we will have our revenge and stop Talos warship once and for all. We have more powerful armies and WMD that we can use. The dragon invasion is also bound to become much worse and you will not have Satan to save you next time. Our amies will destory you

Love Taresare Takanawa, your nemmsis

As this was happing Little Hood and his merry men vaptured Bob the Bard to have a freindly talk to him, a hart to hart. He was taken to cabin and given an intervetion to cure him of his addiction to Honeymead. Than Little Hood gave him a lecture and talke about the evil of Honeymead and its use to enslave the pepole and the plans of The Sheriff of Riften and the Brewmaster Sabjorn.

So Bob was sent back to the group with Little Hood and his merry men just as the evil elves were beat. The Brewmaster Sabjorn approached Bob "Vell done you have sold more mead than anyone beafore now I want to employ you full time", but Bon say no "I will never work for you again, I will never drink Honeymead again and I know truth about u" Bob said. "You vill pay for zhis Bob nobdy messes with us und lives" said Brewmaster Sabjorn and he left.

"Well done Bob how did you do it" said Hongi the Furios. So Bob told them all about Little Hood and his band of merry men but nobody would belive him. "Why do keep telling such tall tails Bob? You are bard but you need to control you imagination" asked Lyida, "What you have siad is completly impossible for very basic reaosn, mem don't wear tights so how could you have seen a man dresed in green tights called Little Hood impossible" the knight said, "and the part about the Sheriff of Riften beinf evil, I think you jsut want attention " said Lyida again, "Silly Bob" said Hongi the Furious and everbody luthed out loud, Apart from Bod was "think noone belives me".

Then it was new years eve and it was the countdown but not the final countdown. There were fireworks and celbiaton. They were all drinink chapain and eating party food and wating for the fireworks. Bob was still tying to get them to bleive in Little Hood but nobody whould lisen.

Then the countdown was stated

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

Happy New Year

They all drank Chapaion and sang for all lnags air

At the same time

Unra Stoneheart had placed somone fire spells in one village that she could set them off to blow up with the force of a hydrogen bomb this was her 'new years fireworks' she set them off and it made huge explison that made magical killed thoduands and made radation in the sea that caused lives of millons of sea creatures and humens to cease to exsit, this was Unra's new Years sacrifice to Sithis. "She luthed and poured blood chapgain wine, to Sithis".

At this same time

Little Hood and his Merry Men crashed the Sheriff of Riften's fancy party and stole expnesinve things. Preist Nuck ate so much of the food and drank so much of the mead and wine even Honeybrew mead but he was not addicted cause he had eating striength. Then Big Jim did his Big Jim stick trick with his very long staff and while this happend Tenkith and the dark elf rough picked pokkets. Then they fixed the fireworks so they would spell out a rude word and went it happned it shocked eeverone a posh woman swa this and fained "oh my" she said. Sheriff of Riftern found and shouted "Damm you Little Hood" though find kinda funny seacretly

Also

Alyce was very serious and saw to contune her new life and name Alice was dead and Alyce was born.

Back with our Heros

"It is about time we find out what the Evil Elves are up to, we must infltrate their embassiy" Hongi the Furious said and everybody cheered at this satement.

This will happned in the next Chapter don't miss it