Chapter 4
Lexi stepped out one of the many fireplaces that adorned the long, thin corridor of the Atrium at the Ministry of Magic. She brushed a small amount of the remaining soot from her hair and robes, then made her way purposely across the large hall. Before she returned to Hogwarts she needed to meet with Rufus Scrimgeour, the Head of the Auror office, to finalise her transfer to Hogwarts. It seemed there was nothing she could do that wouldn't involve some form of paperwork, even her time as an Auror was mostly sat at a desk scribbling pointless reports on parchment.
Stepping off the lift at level two, she noted that Magical Maintenance had chosen grey clouds and drizzle to accompany the working day. Sighing audibly to herself, Lexi pushed open a large white wooden door, and entered a large communal office. The Auror headquarters was the epitome of chaos. A rectangular room adorned by a dozen or so desks, large piles of files were stacked two metres high against all four walls. There were two large floor-to-ceiling windows, and due to the dim lighting from the windows the room was lit by dim torch brackets on the walls. She pushed aside a large file on her desk and flopped onto a wooden swivel chair.
She hadn't set foot in the office since Dumbledore had appointed her Dueling Instructor at Hogwarts, so a small film of dust had descended on it. An inkbottle and a small, framed photograph of Lexi and her parents on holiday were the only items on her desk.
"McNaughton, good to see you remember where the office is!" Came Rufus Scrimgeour's voice from across the room.
"Oh it's easy enough to find, I just listen for the sound of your ego and follow that, Rufus." She said, smiling sweetly at her Head of Department.
Rufus narrowed his eyes at her in an attempt to exude seriousness, but this only made Lexi chuckle. She had never been able to take authority seriously, especially Rufus Scrimgeour. He was a serious man who Lexi found it difficult to read, he demeanor was deadpan which coupled with his large mane of tawny hair and yellowish eyes made him an enigma.
"I was beginning to think you were shirking your duties." He said, scowling. "Now, please come here."
He disappeared into his office, and Lexi reluctantly followed him. Rufus' office was a stuffy, small box-room. An ornate desk that was far too big took up most of the room, with the only light source coming from a small, high window. She sat opposite Rufus, who regarded her severely. Lexi had to resist from rolling her eyes at him.
"How were your travels?" He asked mildly.
"Life-affirming, thank you." She replied pleasantly, knowing full well of Rufus' tactic of exchanging pleasantries just before a difficult conversation. "I assume, though, you haven't demanded by presence just to listen to my tales of the Orient?"
"Your powers of deduction astound me again, McNaughton." He replied tersely, opening a file on his desk and perusing the front page. "I see Professor Dumbledore has requested you return to Hogwarts?"
"He seems to think it would be best, under the circumstances." Lexi verified, folding her arms across her chest. "I also think it would be prudent, given the latest turn of events."
Rufus raised an eyebrow. "Turn of events?" Rufus queried, leaning forward on his desk.
"With Voldemort's return?" Lexi replied, dumbfounded that he'd asked her that.
"The Ministry is of the opinion that this is nothing more than a young boy's fabrication." Rufus stated monotonously, clasping his hands together on his desk.
Lexi blinked in surprise several times before answering. "You cannot possibly believe that, Rufus?" Lexi hissed. "You are an intelligent man, allegedly, surely you know as well as I that one day he would return!"
"Many in the Ministry would disagree, at present we have no evidence other than Harry Potter's word," he said, his austere eyes scrutinized Lexi. "As an Auror, I'm sure you can understand that."
"A boy died, Rufus!" Lexi argued in a raised voice. "Are you saying that Harry killed Cedric Diggory?"
"I am saying no such thing, but the circumstances are less than clear cut." He rescinded. "So I feel as though some covert – ah – information gathering would be the course of action."
"Rufus, get to the point please." Lexi snapped, feeling her patience grow thin.
"I will sign your transfer request, in exchange for your co-operation." He said, retrieving his quill from its inkpot. "Dumbledore, I am assured, is convinced by the Potter boys' story. I am well aware of the group he formed during the last war, and I can only assume he has asked you to join?"
Lexi had given up asking how Rufus was seemingly able to get his hand on virtually any intelligence, so she looked past this particular revelation. "Correct once again, Sherlock!" She exclaimed with mock surprise. "I am to protect Harry and to arm the students with combatant knowledge. Dumbledore thinks, and I happen to agree, that the fight will come to Hogwarts. The students will need to be ready."
Rufus said nothing for a moment, but dripped excess ink from his quill and signing a form with a large, loopy signature.
"I cannot, as a Head of Department, be seen to be condoning such opinions." He said lightly, handing Lexi the completed forms. "The Ministry is a treacherous organization at present, so tread carefully. It will see you in the stocks before admitting You-Know-Who has returned."
"Why I do get the feeling you're foreshadowing?" Lexi asked, getting to her feet. "If you could speak in more than riddles next time, I would be eternally grateful." She turned towards the door. "I will owl intelligence as and when I gather it. Goodbye, Rufus."
"Take care of yourself, McNaughton." He said to her retreating back. "I mean it."
Lexi closed the door behind her and headed back to her desk. She checked her watched and sighed, her dinner with Sirius was looming and she was undecided whether it was a good idea to humour Sirius by accepting his invitation. He knew the ulterior motive in his mind, and even though she knew that her feelings for Sirius were no longer that or love, she didn't relish the idea of hurting him. She left the Auror office and headed back towards the Atrium. She pushed through the rush hour throng and headed past the fireplaces. Taking a deep breath she disapparated on the spot.
Seconds later Grimmauld place blinked into view. She crossed the street and entered the dilapidated house. One that made Lexi's mouth water, exotic herbs and spices with a hint of acidity had replaced the dank smell. She removed her navy blue blazer and hung it on the stand by the front door.
"Sirius?" She called into the dimness. "I don't smell burning. Should I be concerned?"
The kitchen door at the end of corridor opened, and Sirius beamed at her. He wore a grey waist coast with a royal blue cravat and black trousers. Lexi felt a little under dressed in her knee length grey dress, thick tights and black boots.
"Sorry, I wasn't aware this was a formal occasion." She observed Sirius' outfit with a smirk. "I practically had to force you into a tuxedo for Lily and James' wedding!"
"Times change, babe." He winked, beckoning her into the kitchen.
As Lexi followed Sirius in the cavernous kitchen, she let out an audible gasp. The room was lit by a dozen or so candles that floated above their heads, the large table had been decorated with a crimson tablecloth and was adorned with expensive looking silver cutlery. Lexi felt her guilt deepen.
"Would m'lady like a drink?" He said suavely, offering her a glass of wine.
"Thank you, Sir." She said gratefully, taking the proffered glass. "What's on the menu?"
"Moroccan roast chicken with apricots." He announced proudly. "I know it's one of your favourites. At least, it used to be."
Lexi felt winded. "From our first holiday together, the bistro by the beach?" She said vaguely. "I adored Morocco."
Sirius smiled fondly, placing his hands on her shoulders and steering her toward the chair. Lexi lowered herself onto the chair, watching Sirius busy himself with the food. Hot guilt radiated from the pit of her stomach, and she was slowly beginning to realise that tonight may not have been a good idea.
"Sirius, this is … too much." She voiced as Sirius put a plate of food in front of her that transported her back fifteen years.
"Course it isn't, don't be daft." He waved her concern away, sitting next to her. "C'mon, it isn't everyday I cook and leave the kitchen in tact. Let me have this moment of glory!"
"You're right, I apologise." Lexi laughed.
From the first bite Lexi was transported back to the searing heat of North Africa. The sound of the crystal waves rushing against the hot, golden sand and the smell of spices hovering in the air. They ate in silence; Lexi saw Sirius chance furtive glances in her direction as though waiting for her to say something.
"Do you remember you attempt to haggle a local trader?" Sirius voiced between mouthfuls, breaking the silence.
"You remember that?" Lexi whined.
"How could I forget?" Sirius laughed, placing his knife and fork on his empty plate. "The sight of you trying to explain haggling to a man who was clearly trying to fleece you still brings tears of joy to my eyes."
"Git," she laughed, smacking him on the arm.
Sirius smiled affectionately. "I've missed you, Lex." He said quietly. "I've missed this."
"Sirius, please –" She protested.
"No, Lex please." He said, taking her hand in his. "Do you remember the promise I made you?"
"Of course I do." She said.
"That promise still stands, I cannot change the way I feel about you." He said tenderly. "But … I understand that time has passed, and things have changed." He swallowed, clearly struggling with himself. "I realise that your feelings may have changed …"
Lexi bit her bottom lip in an attempt to prevent tears escaping her watery eyes. She squeezed Sirius' hand, hating herself with every passing second.
"If … things had turned out differently …" she choked, Sirius stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.
"I know, Lex." He said hoarsely. "I have spent a long time wondering where we'd be now if it weren't for Peter's deception."
"I doubt we'd have gone done the conventional route, Sirius." Lexi sniffed, wiping her eyes. "You were, and will always remain, the interminable rebel. I was surprised you even proposed, I never had you down as the marrying type."
Sirius inhaled shakily. "You were worth it." He said earnestly.
"I'm so sorry, Sirius … I …" she sobbed. "I hate this …"
"Hey, shh," he soothed, pulling her into a hug although he too was tearful. "I won't lie to you, Lexi. This hurts like hell ... but I cannot change what's happened, even though I want to … more than anything. I'll always love you, no matter what."
Lexi sobbed harder onto Sirius' shoulder as he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. "And I you, Sirius." She whispered. "Just … not in the same way I used to …"
"I know, I know." His voice hitched and Lexi felt him shudder.
For several moments they clung to each other, feeling the pang of a closing chapter. Sirius ran his hand through her curls, winding them round his fingers. Lexi felt emotionally drained, but a feeling of relief began washing over her. Even though it broke her, telling Sirius had felt cathartic and lifted a burden from her. As her breathing calmed and she felt Sirius' shoulders relax, she let him go. His expression was somber, but he looked resigned, as though hearing her confirmation marked the beginning of something.
"I … don't want to lose you, Sirius." She said, clutching his arm. "I couldn't bear it."
"You won't ever lose me, Lex." He assured. "I'll be with you, whenever and however you need me. I promise."
Sirius flashed Lexi a boyish grin and she smiled weakly. "Same to you," she said, sighing audibly. "I think I had better go."
Sirius opened his mouth as though he was about to protest, but thought better of it and nodded. They rose from the table and heading into the narrow hallway, Sirius took her hand and led her towards the front door. They stopped on the threshold, and turned to face one another.
"Thank you for dinner, Sirius." She uttered. "It was … so incredibly thoughtful."
"My pleasure, beautiful." He grinned, pulling Lexi towards him and wrapping his arms around her.
Lexi kissed Sirius on the cheek as he let her go, he reached up and touched the spot where her lips had been.
"I'm sure I'll see you soon, Sirius." She said, grasping the door handle. "Goodbye for now."
"See you, Lex." He smiled.
Lexi exited the house and exhaled loudly and she stood on the top step. She felt exhausted, emotionally and physically. Her whole body ached, and a headache was looming. Shivering at the biting cold, which had swept over the city, she wrapped her blazer tightly round her shoulders. Shivering and exhausted, she disapparated.
