The dreams, or nightmares rather, changed subjects a lot but more and more I found myself back there. On that train surrounded by dead bodies, my hands stained red with their blood, I could hardly breath and felt like throwing up from the stench. I would end up running but it never helped, there were always more bodies. Some were still as they should be, but others would actually cry and look at me accusingly.
"Why? Why would you?" they would ask, "Why did you kill us? We did nothing to you!" I could never answer that, how could I? Nothing would ever make that right or wash the blood from my hands.
And the train kept going on. Nothing but cars and cars and cars, crates filled with Dust strapped to the sides and dead littering the floors and hanging from the ceilings. Still I ran, until I entered another car and found her hunched over a body. I couldn't help the gasp when I saw her eating one of the bodies and look up at me with blood dripping from her mouth.
Her face looked just like mine. I took a step back just as she roared and charged at me, tackling me to the ground. She smiled sickeningly at me and said, "All for the greater good, right?" before lunging at my neck.
"AAH!" Blake screamed as she woke up and desperately scrambled for Gambol Shroud and drew it from the sheath. The blade collapsed down so Blake could aim around the mid-morning woods she had set up camp in. After a minute of slowly turning in a circle with her pistol held out in front of her, seeing nothing but trees and the dead fire pit, Blake released her held breath and sat down against the tree she had been sleeping against.
"Just a nightmare," she said taking a breath and tightening her grip on her weapon, "Just a nightmare." Blake took another breath and looked down at her hands, which were both bandaged from fingertip up to her shoulders in wrappings that really needed to be changed. She paused when she saw her right index finger twitch, which soon spread to her whole hand when she took it off the weapon. Blake took a breath and changed her grip on Gambol Shroud and, in one swift motion, stabbed the blade into her forearm.
Blake stifled a scream from the sudden pain and shut her eyes so she couldn't see the blood gushing from the wound. She retained enough self-control to not pull the blade out as she commanded, "Get out of my head!" She opened her eyes and saw that the sun was covered by storm clouds and the surrounding trees were blowing in high speed winds.
And that wretched Demon was there, standing on the other side of the small fire Blake had made the previous night staring at her, the roaring flames casting eerie shadows on it.
"Why do you continue to resist me?" It asked shaking its head and looking down at Blake with pity. It gestured around itself with its tentacles and said, "You're life could be so much better than this. Rooting around in the wilds and garbage of small villages is no life for you, not compared to what I can give."
"Get out of my head!" Blake commanded again and pressed the blade deeper into her arm, "I've seen the 'life' you provide. You'd make me just like those brainless 'heralds' in the White Fang; endlessly singing your praises and killing people who disagree with you, human and Faunus alike. This may be an awful life, but it's one I chose!"
"And history has shown your choices always have ill consequences. Abandoning your parents, ignoring obvious suffering, leaving the White Fang in such a brutal manner." The Demon held the tip of its tentacle to the side of its head and chuckled a little before dropping it and moving around the fire pit, her red eyes never leaving Blake. "Need I go on about your 'choices'?"
"Better bad choices than no choice at all!" Blake shouted and tightened her grip on Gambol Shroud and dragged it up her arm, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth at the pain. "Get. Out. Of my head!"
"That hurts you far more than it does me you know," The Demon said much closer than before. Blake opened an eye to find the Demon on its knees and its face mere inches away from her own, her red and black eyes wide and staring. "This resistance and stubbornness was cute at one point, but it's well worn out its welcome. But the great thing about resistance is that it will eventually give out. Enjoy it while it lasts."
"Get out!" Blake closed her eyes one more time and ripped the blade in her arm up further before pulling it out and dropping it to the ground. Blake took a few deep breaths and opened her eyes to find the Demon was gone and the world was back to normal. The pain in Blake's arm came back in force and Blake looked down at her arm, the surrounding bandages and her white pants stained red with her blood. She sighed and took a few of the loose wrappings hanging from her arm and rewound them around the wound until they were covered completely.
"I really need new bandages. Not like it matters though, it'll heal on its own soon." Blake shook her head with a sigh and looked at Gambol Shroud, the tip of its blade still wet with her blood, and she carefully moved to pick it up and sheathe it. With it safely stowed away Blake looked up at the sky, the rich blue clashing with how she felt at that moment. "I hate how much she can get to me. When was the last time I thought about my parents?"
Blake's father used to be the leader of the White Fang back when they were a simple protest group. Her mother was never an active part of the Fang, preferring other acts to help the cause; helping refugees, smaller acts of charity to help along, things like that. When her father stepped down as leader when the group started calling for more extreme actions, Blake took it as nothing less than betrayal and made her opinion on that very clear to them when she decided to stay with the White Fang. She still remembered the sad looks they both had when they went their separate ways.
"And they were right," Blake said shaking her head and looking down at her feet, playing with her hands by lightly tugging on her fingers. "About the White Fang, about A… well, everything else. I hope they're both doing ok, far away from all of this hatred and bloodshed. I hope that they're ashamed to have a killer like me as their daughter."
And then there was the White Fang. The group had been so integrated into Blake's life that it used to be a second family. Not anymore though, that ship had sailed a long time ago when Blake finally woke up and saw the group for what it had become. Everyone was rightfully afraid of the crazed extremist group using the words of a demon disguised as some ancient deity to spread chaos and hate.
Blake bit her lip and clenched her good hand into a fist. "It's true that I did ignore the suffering of others for my own benefit. All for the good of the Faunus, such a simple excuse to cover up so much hurt overall and so much selfishness on my part."
Leaving the White Fang was the best decision Blake had made in her life, even if she hadn't exactly expected to live to see it. Still she stood by what she said, actually having the choice in how to live her life was better than anything else, especially having her life dictated by a demon or even one man. With freedom comes clarity, and with every day that Blake spent free she grew more and more disgusted with Adam's actions and excuses and with herself for even thinking of entertaining them.
"I can't exactly put all the blame on me though, that's on him. He's a manipulator down to his core, always knowing exactly what to say to keep me wrapped around is finger."
"Agreed." Blake's eyes widened before she shut them tightly again and started reaching for Gambol Shroud.
"Get out."
"What was it you thought the other day? About Taurus and what he best embodied. You settled on 'Spite' and I couldn't agree more, since he rubbed off on you more than you think. Leaving his life forever with a bullet simply to spite him was a lovely bit of poetry. I have to wonder, what would you say I best embody?"
"Evil," Blake said simply as she grabbed Gambol Shroud and lifted it up in front of her, the edge of her sheath against her throat. "Get out."
"Hmhm, very astute. On your way Belladonna, your 'life' awaits you. Until we meet again." The Demon's chuckles echoed for a moment before dimming entirely. Blake waited a second before she took the blade away from her throat and set it on the ground.
"Again, it says. Not if I have anything to say about that. There has to be a way to rid me of this Demon, somewhere." Blake clenched her hands into fists again, now realizing that she wasn't feeling any pain from her injured arm. She lifted it up and gave it a few test movements. "Well, that's done. Time to get moving." Blake grabbed Gambol Shroud and used it to push herself up to her feet before stowing it on her back. She walked to the remains of the fire and kicked dirt on it to ensure the embers were smothered and lifted her hood over her head, an additional bit of identity protection along with her bow. With that done, she checked the pack on her waist for everything she would need, took a breath, and broke into a run into the woods.
Wherever Blake would end up, it would be her choice.
