Chapter 16: The Myster of the Lexicon and the Evil Thives.
After Hongi the Furious and his freinds escaped the evil mine prison of Markath it exploded in a loud bomb cause before Hongi the Furious and the fortwesorn esacped the mime Hongi the Furious set teh boiler on masive explode mod and so the bolier exploded and blew up teh mined.
They herd it explode like a real land explostion and Lyida say "wow that woze a close one" and than they whent futher. Hongi the Furious was glad to be out of that horrid prisoned he had to survie on Skooma and Moon Suger but no logar. Now he is and Freeman.
So now it was time for Hongi the Furious to consult the wize moutan sprits and find out what he should do and so Hongi the Furious and Bob and Lydia and the Night climed the great moutains and climbed for miels and miles until they reachd teh grate vally were the wize moutin sprits liver.
There were the rock spirts and the living motain it self who is caled "Old Man Moutain" and Hongi the Furious anoced "I have come to conslut wit you oh wize spirts of the moutians" and thy spoke "Hongi the Furious we are dyeing a grate eval come tis way and you must kill it if we are to live and Skyrim is not to dye a horible deaf".
"You speak of the evil Dragon God who I as the Dagonborn an destined to slay" demanded Hongi the Furious and they sayed in tere wize vocies "No! Hongi the Furious we speak of the great evil moutain that marches to destryed Skyrim and he can not be stoped unless one posses the achainet nolage" the greet moutain told Hongi the Furious.
"What knolage do you speak of oh great montian" axed Hongi the Furious with urgentcry and the Motain Sprit scouthed "Look you smuck it was known by the dwarves and that is all I can say! Now go seak them out and get a haircut you lok like a faggot". Hongi the Furious new had to seak out this knowlage evan know his pissed that this grumpy moutains insulted his aswsome Barbarian haircut.
No Hongi the Furious and the Bob the Bard and Lyida and the Knight whent on there breathtaking quest to stop the evil moutain before it is to late.
MEanwhile wit Unra Stoneheart
Unra Stoneheart had just done kiling some fool after sleeping wit him and taking al his moneys. Than Unra Stoneheart went to kill the next contract witch is some guy who is ubssed wit puzzels and solves any pussel he gets hold of. Unra Stoneheart is in Riften BTW.
Then Hongi the Furious was waking to the place wear tis man had to dye whent this casry Argonian woman ran up to her and raved instanley "thak this" and gave her a box. "This must bee the puzzel box that summons the Cenobites! Yes and now I will use this to giv to the target and he wil dye bye the Cenobites hands."
Than Unra Stoneheart threw him the box and he stoped scribingling puzzels all over teh wals of his ouse and sayed "you idoit this is a lexicon! I dont want this shit take it back" trew it at Unra Stoneheart. But than Unra Stoneheart's arch rival in the Dark Brotherhood Rob the Killer. Rob than showed that he had the real Hellraiser box and gave it to the Puzzel Guy.
Than Puzzel Guy solved it and Pinhead and the Female Cenbotie and the Fat Cenobite and Chatter and Dr Channard came out. But Pinhead orated "It is not hands that call it is desire" so they all kiled Rob the Killer but Dr Channard killed the Puzzel Obssed Man anyway as a bonus and than they all whent back to heck to liver evilery every after. "I'm glad I didn try that trick afer al! Lol" luthed Unra Stoneheart and she trew the Lexicon away and when back to the Dark Botherhood sanctory.
Meanwhile wit Little Hood
Little Hood and his Merry Men wear feasting meryley when he was hit on the hed by the Lexicon witch must of falen down to the Thives Gulid headqulters. "What is this Little Hood" demaed Priest Nuck "its Mystery and one we must solve" spoke Little Hood investivly.
So Little Hood and his Marry Men whent out to solve the mystery and take on any evil that trires to soap them. The Merry Men wear one another quested though as they had to stop a rivl gang who had set up shop in Windhelm and who working for the Sheirff of Riftem. They were doing moar evil things to make monay and were not helping the poored like Little Hood and and his good Merry Men did.
But now Little Hood had to stop this evil gang of evil theives that are evil or than evil whould be moar powarful than good and that would be evil for the wrold and all the pepole in it as they whould in a siutation wear the most power gang of thives are evil villains and not good guys like Little Hood and his Merry Men.
But First Little Hood and his Merry Men whent for a drink in a country tarven to dicuss what they should do wit this lexicon and how they can stoped this eviled gang of thives.
Meanshile with Hongi the Furious
Hongi the Furious and his own gang of heros were trying to sea how this evil moutain cold be stoped. Hongi the Furious cold feel it's evil presents coming to destroy all of skyrim and Hongi had to stop this form happening. The shaodow of tat eviled Montin loomed over all of Skyrim leik a dark hand of an evil giant.
But first they had a few drinks in the old taven and there Hongi the Furious saw once agained the grate Outlaw Hero Little Hood. "Little Hood good to sea you again old friend" cheeared Hongi the Furious and Little Hood conversed "Hongi my good Viking Barbarian freind! What can I do for you?" Little Hood excalmed.
"Well Little Hood we were passing through her on a mightyl quest" Hongi the Furious described "and what whould that quest be? It must be important for the Dragonborn himself" and Hongi the Furious signed "It is a grim one and one that might take all my will and stongth and honuor and might. You sea an evil Moutain that is alive and powered by pure evil is coming to killer everone in Skyrim and destory this land foraways if we dont stop it we wil be brown bread".
Little Hood throwned "I have nevar herd of such a moutain but you are the Dragonborn so this must be part of you destrucity so I can help in anyway I can. Alos because you arr my friend and Little Hood always helps his freinds". So Hongi the Furious told this great dale about the mutain he must stop and what he needs to stop it.
But than Little Hood stated "That must bee the Lexicon that I have on my person. Wil you take it my freind" and but Hongi the Furious objecting "This is such a great artifacet how cold you giv it oup" but Little Hood mad him self cleared "I only found it Hongi and I hive it you as it is the nowlage you are meant to hav".
"I have another thinked would you like to take part in a mission that I and my Merry Men are going on?" Little Hood inguired and Hongi the Furious cold not refuse "I wil gladly take paart in your marry quest Little Hood" braved Hongi the Furious. "Than let it bee so Hongi the Furious and his Band of Heros and Little Hood and his Merry Men join forces for a great cause."
So as it was written two of the manlest men who evar manned Hongi the Furious and Little Hood joined for a great cause to stop the Evil Moutain and the Evil Gang of Evil Thives who work fo the Sheriff of Riftem.
So Hongi the Furious and Little Hood went merrly to stop the evil thevies fo Windhelm and on the way had plent of tim to sing
Little Hood, Little Hood, and Hongi the Furious
Riding through the glen,
Little Hood, Little Hood, and Hongi the Furious
With their band of men,
Feared by the bad, loved by the good,
Little Hood! Little Hood! Little Hood! and Hongi the Furious!
He called the greatest archers
To a tavern on the green,
They vowed to help the people of Skyrim,
They handled all the trouble
On the Nirn country scene,
And still found plenty of time to sing.
Little Hood, Little Hood, and Hongi the Furious
Riding through the glen,
Little Hood, Little Hood, and Hongi the Furious
With his band of men,
Feared by the bad, loved by the good,
Little Hood! Little Hood! Little Hood! and Hongi the Furious!
Hongi the Furious and freinds and Little Hood and his Merry Men arcied in Windhelm. They stoped that night at the Inn of Windhelm and they wear al fast freinds. Lydia got along well wit the Dark Elf Rouge and Tenkith. The Night was get along wit Preist Nuck and Big Jim and they all had a god drink and chear.
Than the next day they whent to the guy that Little Hood is meant to meat about the bad thives and he gave his sad backstoryed "my daughter was kiled by an evil elf theivf cause she is was wereining nice jualaery and I dont know who they evil thives are but you shold spek to Niranye she know somethin about this.
So Little Hood and Hongi the Furious spoke to the elf Niranye at the shops and the played Good Cop Bad Cop wit Little Hood as the Good Cop and Hongi the Furious as teh Bad Cop.
Soon the got the point wear she say "I don't know what you talking about" but than Bob the Bard threated her but it was teh fail and she luthed and say "Silly Bob no one is scared of you". But than Hongi the Furious used threated and she told them were the evil thives are and say she is was threated by tem and whould work for the theives quid allie.
So Hongi the Furious and friends and Little Hood and his Merry Men did an epic raid on the evil thives and fort them kiling them all wit epice powar. Than they got to teh leder of the ganged and it was another bad elf man Linwe who had a damsel in distres captured and about to be scarfied to the evil god.
So Little Hood hourned "I wil not hav you killered by my Merry Men instead let's setle this like Gentlemen" and Linwe smriked "Oh and wat do you have in mind" and Little Hood proudly spoke "a one on one dual I win and the woman goes free but if you win I will be your sacrfice! or we can simply run you through like the animal you are.". Linwe "so be it I wil saly the great Little Hood and the Thives Guold wil be hsitroy".
So Little Hood and Linwe sawash buckled liek true gentlemn theives each matching each overs skil and steel upon still rapier upon raiper. But Little Hood's skil was greator and he won. "Merry Men have this man put in bonds" and Little Hood turned to fre the damsel but Linwe whould nit except deaft and he picked up the sword to sap Little Hood in teh back.
But Little Hood had expected tis and threw him into his own baner "yuo seece to lower you self futher but I should expcet litle more from a coward who stils form the dead" and Little Hood lite the baner alite buning the evil gang leader to deaf.
Than the Damsel in Distrs yelled "Mah heroeds!" and than she huged Hongi the Furious and Little Hood and they tok the neclace back to the guy whose duhter had be mudered by the evil thives and he gratefuled "thank you kind sires that was a family airlom butt I have also herd that it is encharted we must take it to a wizarded"
And so thtey did and the Wizard explianed "this is a powerful curse that is one the amulet" and than he did a referse spelled on the emulet and it truned into a Hamsome Prince "I was transofred into an amuelt by an evi wich and now you have free me form my cursed I can fianly marie my true lov" and the Damsel in Distress cryed "Oh my darling" and the got marrieyed.
Than Little Hood and Hongi the Furious whent to the Dwafwmer ruins wear the Lexicon came fomr and they followed gaosts of the dudes who frist stilled it and fort anchient doomer roberts who attacked.
Soon they got to the palce wear the Lexicon was to go and Little Hood warmly spoke "you put it in the pedistal my freind" and Hongi the Furious put the Lexicon to blow up tthe evil living moutin that was headin tere way wit the ahcinet Dwemer weepon that the Lexicon controls saving Skyrim again!
So later after much good cheer and drink and food wit Little Hood and his Merry Men Hongi the Furious and his frends came to the moutian spirts once moar. "Oh wize Moutain Spirts it have bean done and the evil moutain has ben desatloyaed" Hongi the Furious sated.
"So it is done Hongi and the Skyrim is savered once moar. You desinty had been fullised. But you stil have a greator desinty as you wel know and we cannot help with that one". So Hongi the Furious thanke them "Good job Hongi the Furious you kiled an moutain. Now get a real job you damn hippy" yeled the wize old moutain.
Hongi the Furious and his friends than whent of to the next advnture.
To be countued...
