Once a NEET always a NEET 25
Disclaimers I don't own KonoSuba or any of the other anime property except mine, please support any to all official releases.
Waking up once more, Kazuma found himself sitting in a very peaceful very calm place as he had the warm rays of the sun surrounding him.
"Where the hell am I" asked Kazuma, "I assure you, that you're far from those flaming pits" said Being x as he suddenly appeared next to Kazuma.
"Whoa ok, what's going and who are you" asked Kazuma as he back away from Being X, "I've had many names when I used to look down on your planet, O Lord, Our Father, Morgan Freeman, and God, though honestly I've gotten used to being called Being X by that angry little friend of yours" said Being X.
"Wait, you're being X, as in the same god Tanya claims that you've been tormenting her this whole time" asked Kazuma as his stranger danger senses were going off.
"I'll admit I may have acted rather rashly on her, but you have to understand that as a human in her previous life, she had hardly no redeeming qualities to her to the point that her own coworker had pushed her to her own death, as such I took pity and gave her a chance to turn her life around in the next life, instead she goes and does the opposite, and let me say it's very frustrating" said Being X as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Yeah, no joke, Tanya is quite a handful" said Kazuma as he never knew how she came about her life in another world, "Exactly, then of course you got your other friends and each one of them is a handful in their own right, which honestly I don't want to get into and vent about work on you" said Being X with a light laugh.
"So, my friends claim that you want me, can I ask you now as to why" said Kazuma, "I do apologize that I couldn't send you a proper message, originally I did when I discovered the existence of that android who was obsessing over you like my followers towards me, except once I found out she had less than pure reasons of obsessing over you, well the only thing I can say now is sorry" said Being X.
"Anyway, back to my point, Satou Kazuma, how would you like to be by my side and become a god" said Being X as Kazuma looked at him for a minute in silence over what he was asked.
"You serious, you want me, to become a god like you" asked Kazuma in disbelief, "Indeed I do, actually for the longest time I've been planning this, to find someone to rule at my side so we can both rule and cast judgement on those who will worship us across the galaxy, across the very universe we reside" said Being X.
"And let me say it wasn't easy, since the idea came to me after watching Tanya succeed over another triumph against me when I was trying to teach her a lesson on humility, that why not have her and many others from across the world be sent together in one place where I can watch you all, and if needed I'll keep bringing in more and more candidates and pick a worthy partner and ward at my side" said Being X as he turned to smile at Kazuma.
"And I believe I may have found that in you Kazuma" said Being X, "Ok, I know I'm gonna kick myself in the ass for this, but are you sure you've got the right guy here, I mean there are clearly better candidates to take my spot, even people whom I don't like are a better choice than me" said Kazuma.
"No there hardly isn't, and I'll tell you why, your friend Ainz has committed a mass act of genocide with he and his floor guardians decided to wipe out a major kingdom from existence with everyone in it, Tanya still defies and chooses to not believe in my existence, and when she does pray for me, she does it with a sarcastic snide remark, plus she's develop a taste for blood with no care for the losses of her men so long as the enemy suffers more than her, and I'll admit I did heavily considered your friend Subaru for the longest, however his soul has been to far corrupted in more ways than I can retell to share" said Being X.
"Your friend Naofumi has long since renounce the belief and existence of all gods all because he was unfortunate enough to having run into a cult that chose to wrongfully persecute him and label him as an enemy of the church, in spite of all the good he's done for them and the world he comes from, Shinichi has unfortunately yet to do anything remarkable in terms of impressing me, while those power siblings are actually to much of a risk to take on together since I fear they might overthrow me, while they're useless apart, and of course there's Touya a man who's already on his way to become a god, however he's on the path to become a false god by the influence of a lesser god that my son has foolishly let present along with those other deities that are free to be worshipped on that accursed planet" continued Being X.
"And finally you got that Art fellow, truly a false hero to begin with, cause no matter his actions, they all serve to make Satan's children stronger, honestly that man is the picture definition of a Devil's Advocate, a wolf in sheep's clothing, and has rightfully earned the title of being called the Hero from Hell" said Being X.
"Ok, so my friends have flaws, but that's what makes us all human, right" said Kazuma, "There flaws is exactly what makes them humans at their worst, you on the other hand while you have admittingly less than desirable traits, are dependent, reliable, and have proven to sacrifice your own life as a means to achieve your goals in keeping the peace, and in spite of your frustrating relationships with those woman, especially that godling you keep at your side, you stand by their side, take responsibility for their actions, and ensure no harm dare come to them, and it's because of these attributes that I have personally selected you to become my ward" said Being X.
"Gee, I'm speechless" said Kazuma, "Than lets put an end to this nonsense conversation already, and say yes when I ask you to join me" said Being X with a warm smile that can get anyone compliant.
"I… first I need you to answer some questions before I agree to anything" said Kazuma, "Ask away than" said Being X.
"What would be my duties ruling next to you" asked Kazuma, "Like I said, we will share and cast our judgement upon a world where people will be willing to worship us, though if you want specific's nothing more than us talking out how to punish or spare mortals and their homes and granting them blessings if they are worthy, for you and I will debate on man's judgement till one of us reaches a fair point" said Being X.
"What will happen to my friends, to Aqua" asked Kazuma, "That'll be up to you entirely once you become a god, you can if you want say return them all back to their home world so they can go forth and fulfill their own destinies, you can leave them on the planet you've all grown accustomed to till they live out their lives, or hey you can wipe them all from existence, I won't judge for it'll be your choice I shall be backing up just this once" said Being X.
"As for that goddess you've chosen as your mate, I see no harm in you both maintaining your relationship so long as it doesn't interfere with us at work" said Being X.
"What if I decide that I some point I don't want to continue ruling as a god, can I ever go back to living my life as a mortal" asked Kazuma, "Unfortunately this is a one way ticket, where going back would be next to impossible to live your life amongst mortals ever again" said Being X.
"I don't know how I feel about that" said Kazuma, "Than allow me to give you taste of what you can expect when you become a god" said Being X as he tapped his singer on Kazuma's forehead as his eyes began to glow white.
"Whoa!" exclaimed Kazuma in pure amazement, "I know" said Being X with a smile.
"By god, this is power, this is knowledge, this is what it means to truly live, to exist" said Kazuma as he still remained in this trance, "I knew you'd be tempted to join once you tasted this power, but that is why I waited and made sure that you were worthy as it's candidate, from bringing you here, from facing off against the Destroyer, to even making so that the night where your friends gave that haze remained under my influence so I can test you on your final trial on the path to forgiveness" said Being X.
"What" asked Kazuma as he broke from his pseudo trance to look at Being X, "Look I know it sounds terrible, but I had to know and I was frankly getting a little impatient so went and speed up the process a little, but hey it all pays out buddy" said Being X.
"You mean, you set it up where my friends had gotten themselves wasted to the point that they were under your influence to humiliate me, to destroy my trust and friendship in them, all for your amusement" Kazuma said angrily.
"Now, when you put it like that, it does sound rather messed up, but trust me we'll look back at this and laugh about it soon enough" said Being X.
"There is nothing to laugh about when it comes to my suffering, for anyone's amusement, especially some sadistic old man, claiming to be God himself, when truly he is the bane on mankind in more ways than I can count" said Kazuma.
"Calm down Kazuma, you're getting out of line here" said Being X as he put his hand up, "Oh I'm just getting started, so on behalf of my friend Tanya and everyone who got smart and learned to renounce their faith in you, go fuck yourself god" said Kazuma.
"Enough! I don't care if I have to mold your memories just a little at this point and ensure that you will be my ward, cause believe me when I say that you are mine and are going to have to work by my side" said Being X as he restrained Kazuma ready to warp him, but stopped when Aqua had suddenly appeared.
"How in the world did you manage to get here" asked Being X, "It wasn't easy with those people you got out there, but we manage, just like how I'll manage being able to knock you down in the current state you are in" said Aqua as her fist began to glow.
"Stand down little godling, and maybe I won't have to warp his mind to the point of choosing to abandon you in this retched world forever" said Being X.
"I am a Goddess you creep, so from one god to another, get your hands off my man" yelled Aqua as she laid a straight punch into Being X as he and the world they were in came to shatter as Kazuma realized he was sitting inside of the Mission of San Francisco.
"You dare to strike me!" exclaimed Being X, "I'll do a whole lot more if you continue to come after my man" said Aqua as she stood in front of Kazuma.
"It's over, leave now, we'll find a way to live here out in this world, or better yet find a way for all of us to go back home soon enough" said Kazuma.
"How dare you defy me and my gracious offer! If that is your stand in the matter, than you better hope that these Generals and soldiers I have robbed from Satan's youngest brat and her accursed hero kills you all long before my arrival, for I am coming for you, and all of your friends annihilation" said Being X as he finally faded from sight.
Finally a moment alone together since his abduction, Kazuma and Aqua turned to face each other, before embracing themselves in a loving hug.
"Can I just say, you were pretty badass out there" said Kazuma, "Hey, I'll do anything to keep my man from being take away from me" said Aqua with a cheeky smile which got Kazuma to smile.
"Anyways we should go and hurry up back to our friends, before reinforcements arrived" said Aqua as they both raced outside the church to see that everyone who came to rescue Kazuma was having a hard time to in keeping up against Sombra Squad and what appeared to be an automaton with a minigun in it's tummy and a bodacious babe with wolf ears and tails.
"Guys, I got Kazuma, lets get out of here" said Aqua, "Kinda hard to do when we're surrounded by enemies who won't back off" said Naofumi as he used the biggest shield he had in his arsenal to protect them all from getting filled with lead.
"No worries, just gather around me, I'll open up a gate for us to teleport through and get us all back on the ship" said Touya as he did so before one by one the group of friends had fled their final battle for now as they appeared back on the ship they came in to rescue Kazuma.
"Where is everyone" asked Subaru as they saw that the ship was vacant, "Hey guys, they left us a note" said Naofumi as he found a sheet of paper with directions written where they went off to.
"Retreated to Sunnyvale, meet us at old Murphy Avenue in downtown, with love from Yuri and the others" read Tanya out loud as the group wasted no time in catching up with their friends.
Time Skip
Once they had all reached the location, there's a moment of joy, before they went down to business as to what went on and what's to be expected.
"So that's it, Being X is on his way to finally kill us all" Tanya stated angrily as she slammed her fist on a table, "Yeah, and he seems to have a not so high opinion on any of us, meaning we should expect him not to hold back" said Kazuma.
"Well this is just great, having to face off against a god, I mean how the hell are we going to win" said Subaru, "We'll find a way, we have to, I mean he's what's keeping us all here trapped like rats, and if what Art said is true, we need his presence here to be completely gone if we're gonna get Sam to do her thing" said Yuri.
"I'm just gonna say it now, but I hate that we're forced to rely on the power of one of Satan's kids to get us back home" said Aqua, "Well my advice is to don't do anything to piss her off, since we've seen how merciless she can be once she's pissed" said Minori.
"Focus guys, we got bigger problems at hand, we have not only Being X on his way here, but also some people who are willing to serve his every bidding in ensuring they wipe us all out before the big guy himself gets here" said Ainz.
"Not entirely willing, according to Art, these people that work for Being X were either soldiers that served him personally, or the Generals of Samantha, so I think if we can find a way to reach out to them, we can get them to fight on our side" said Shinichi.
"I don't think that's possible, you remembered that guy who had stabbed Sam, he was her boyfriend and he didn't hesitate to not kill her" said Sora, "Even if there was a way, we probably don't have either the time or resources to get them back on our side" said Shiro.
"So what, we just give up and fight these people head on and expect to meet our maker" said Touya, "No, at least not yet, if these are people who Art knows personally, maybe he can tell us their strengths and weaknesses" said Otonashi.
"Granted the only thing that may prove to leave us at a disadvantage is how powerful they are now under Being X" said Iwasawa, "It's a risk we're all gonna have to take, so long as we at least learn something in forms of weaknesses to exploit, that should be good enough for all of us" said Tanya.
"Alright someone should get him" said Yuri, "Already here" said Art as he came to join the group.
"So how's Sam doing" asked Iwasawa, "She'll be fine, she's just resting from the shock of getting stabbed by her boyfriend" said Art.
"So I see Kazuma is here in one piece, I take it everything went good" asked Art optimistically, "Quite the opposite, we nearly didn't escape facing off against your friends back there, and frankly on top of them coming to hunt us down, so is Being X for that matter" explained Tanya.
"Damn, so what's the plan" asked Art, "We plan to fight back of course, but we need your knowledge on your friends to tell us how to kill them, and how we should all go about doing it" said Kazuma.
"Sigh, alright, really didn't want for this to be the outcome, but I get it, they all gotta go for our own well being" sighed Art in defeat, "Hey, don't worry, at least you got us" said Irie as she, Sekine, Hisako, Iwasawa, Minori, and Jibril circled around him.
"I know, I'm grateful to have made some new friends, it's just Sam is probably gonna find some excuse to rip my spinal cord out my ass and use to whip myself to death" said Art as this obviously disturbed a lot of people.
"I like your friends style already, now please tell us what we need to know" asked Tanya, "First tell me who you guys fought and how did they fought" asked Art.
"We faced off again against Sombra Squad and they're still the same last time we fought them, though we also fought against a machine that can transform himself into any weapon he may need in order to combat us, and a wolf girl with crazy speed and strength" explained Naofumi.
"Sounds like you guys were facing against Snap and Echo. Fuck I'm really gonna miss them" said Art, "Focus, we told you what you know, now tell us how to beat them" said Yuri.
"Right, well with the exception of Sombra Squad, it seems that Sam's Generals are all still the same in terms of power and in combat, including that asshole Vince back on the bridge, so assuming that everyone else hasn't entirely change it may… still be hard to beat them, but hey so long as they haven't gone through any major drastic changes, we'll be good" said Art.
"Ok, so we've witness Sombra Squad acting and fighting as a single unit, what can you tell us about Sam's Generals" asked Ainz.
"Her seven Generals are as followed, Vince, Echo, Snap, Sir Duster, Abby, Eye Gouge, and Bronze" said Art as everyone gathered close to hear what he had to say about one of them.
Once he had filled them in on what they can do, all that was left was how they were all going to approach them.
"Attacking them all head on is not only suicidal, but stupid" said Tanya, "So how do we split them up is the question" said Art, "And who will be facing who" said Subaru.
"Shalltear can actually do groups of teleportation at a certain range if we can get them all to follow us inside of it, we can split them up from there" said Ainz.
"Me, Raphtalia, and Filo can take on Echo" said Naofumi, "And me and my group can deal with the Snap" said Otonashi.
"No, you guys have a greater number to your advantage, you guys should take on Sombra Squad, while Touya and his group can take on Snap. Tanya" said Kazuma as he began to divide the teams up.
"Don't you dare set me up as someone as weak as that spider chick or doctor" said Tanya, "I wouldn't dare, I want you to take on Eye Gouge, while Ainz you and your friends can take on Bronze" said Kazuma.
"And Art, I know you have your eyes on Vince, so don't worry about it" said Kazuma, "Guess that leaves the rest of us buddy" said Subaru.
"How about we take on Sir Duster, and you get to take on Abby" said Kazuma, "Sounds good to me" said Subaru, "What about the rest of us" asked Shinichi.
"You guys stay here and keep an eye on Sam, we'll radio guys in case we need back up" said Kazuma, "Think we got time to better equip ourselves" asked Tachibana.
"Yeah we do, Art start making us some new weapons" said Kazuma, "On it" said Art as he began to take everything from his surroundings to and began to turn them all to a weapon better suited for everyone, as everyone was set to agree on their final fight in this world.
Well wouldn't you know, got another chapter up and ready for you guys to enjoy, and on the same day no less, god am I proud of myself right now, almost as I am to finally beat Lord Hades in the Video game Hades, you guys should definitely play it if you haven't already, that and Monster Prom, personally recommend playing both on the Switch to those who own, if not PC.
Speaking of games, currently writing this while playing Fantasy Tavern Sextet- Vol. 1 New World Days-, it's going good so far in terms of being able to play visual novel games on the Switch, but still I feel iffy at a certain point in the game, I mean seriously, who is that depraved, desperate, or degenerate enough to literally take advantage of someone when they're not only drunk, much less passed out on your bed, expecting you to attack them, I mean come on just, just no, seriously I know there's cultural differences, and that this is a game of fiction, but, come on that's a hug no for about anyone, so yeah just wanted to share my input to what I had experienced.
Until next time, be safe, be good people, and please support your local fandom communities.
This has been your Humble Narrtor and official author Tobi Yaza. =3
