Chapter 11
Waiting exercised a lot of my patience.
Patience was one thing that I was aware I lacked.
I lay down in my bed, massaging my temples in frustration as I waited for the sun to set, for night to come.
I waited, mostly holed up in my room the past few days, making sure that I was in my own room when Light was in his. Light was even too immersed in his discovery of the notebook to even notice my mirroring actions to his when he left the table. Our rooms were right next to each other, and with the walls being typical Japanese thin walls, it was not hard to hear screaming or some kind of random psycho laugh.
Obviously, I had to spare the batteries in my listening device under his bed. I couldn't have them on 24/7, since they would have already run out after the 24-hour mark. It was even more surprising that my parents and brother had bought the fact that I was studying hard for my upcoming exams, which were more than a month away.
I waited for Ryuk to appear and scare the batshit out of my brother.
I waited.
December 3rd, 8:40 pm.
I heard my brother's scream.
It had been exactly 7 days since he picked up the death note and the mysterious murmurings of heart attacks had just started to surface onto the news. I had planned to listen in on his conversations with Ryuk, yet at the same time, I couldn't risk my device on something so trivial. On that day, I took a shaky breath, knowing that the event that I was waiting for was finally coming.
Almost.
Almost. I whispered to myself.
December 4th, 5:34 pm.
"I will become the God of this New World!"
My brother's voice had rung out so perfectly clear that I wanted to laugh. I wanted to jab my finger at his face, screaming psychotically about who knew his little sister, a side character in the anime would be spying on her brother so mercilessly.
If any of the Death Note fans could see this in my previous life, I would have already gotten the Nobel Prize.
Time ticked on as I listened to Light's murmurings the whole day. Each time his voice rose up from his empty room, my heart rate spiked.
Each time I didn't hear the word drawer from his mouth, my face twisted into pure fury and irritation. It was ironic because I knew I had the expression of Kira's ending on my face.
Impatience and vexation.
The only difference was that I was well aware of my lack in that aspect, while he was too blinded by greed to actually realize.
It was getting late and I had another spare 14 hours left in the battery of the listening device. I glanced at the clock noting the hours that I had just wasted on Light's worthless and trivial conversations. The outside orange sunset burned into my mind and my body sagging into the mattress of my bed, finally feeling tired from all that waiting.
When the hell was he going to reveal how to freaking open his drawer?
I blinked back the fatigue, rolling over and burying my face into my pillow.
I hated waiting. I really did.
Waiting made me fidgety-made me feel like I was wasting my time while I could have done something so much more than simply just staying in bed.
I groaned, praying for Light to hurry up and get on with the damn script.
I was so close. I could feel it.
Suddenly the static from the listening device pierced my ear as I winced, immediately focusing on Light's conversation.
"Yeah. I hid it right here in this drawer."
I sat up. As the adrenaline started pumping viciously into my blood.
A grin found itself onto my face, devilishly widening with my beady eyes.
"And that's the whole point. I intentionally left the key in the most noticeable place I could th…"
The noise flickered in and out, instantly smacking the smile off my face with a whip.
Dammit, batteries! Were they dying?!
My heart lurched in motion as the static increased its amplitude before flickering back and forth with Light's voice and empty buzzing.
"...A regular ...pen, and all I... part."
"Fuck you!" Throwing my pillow over my head as I seethed in silence, pulling out my hair in panic. Sweat rolled off my face like beads as the static flickered back in again, making my eyebrows furrow.
"...small hole underneath the drawer…"
I gasped at his one sentence while furiously staring at my wall, trying to concentrate.
"Even if...set up so that...the circuit would connect and now would ignite the gasoline contained in this thin plastic casting,,,notebook on fire.."
Woah, Woah, Woah.
Hold on, what?!
If I do something wrong it would set the notebook on fire?!
Well, I mean I did remember Light saying something about a little explosion, but setting the book on fire? Was that actually possible to destroy the notebook like that? Wasn't it from the Shinigami realm? Surely it would be indestructible or at least, fireproof...right?
But was I still going to steal some of the pages? Yes.
"...The whole thing has been a risk for the very beginning...protects me...prefer to be executed...with fire?"
I narrowed my eyes at what I just heard.
"Did...did he just say he would prefer to be executed with fire?"
Something in me bubbled into a snort as the giddy feeling enveloped me into excitement. That was right, Light, the whole thing from the beginning was a risk. There was no need to shroud back into the shadows once you've taken control over the game.
I watched as the clock chimed 10 pm as students from all over the classroom started to stand up and enjoy their small 15-minute break. Pushing the chair back myself while flickering my gaze back at the clock, Aoiko rushed towards me with an oily smile.
"So...have you considered?" She placed both of her hands behind the back and grinned at me mischievously.
"Considered what?" I lifted my stare off the clock and onto her face.
"The acting club! You'll fare so much there, I promise!" Aoiko clasped her hands together, whining at me as her shoulders drooped down. I could almost see the invisible dog ears on her black hair before I smiled slightly.
"I…" I paused, an idea forming into my mind. It never hurts to have more time, doesn't it?
"Aoi, how about this, if you can cover my class skipping for today I'll join." I gave her a wicked smirk, watching her eyebrows furrow in confusion before glancing at the clock.
"You're already going home much earlier than the rest of us, and now you wanna skip?" Her eyes glinted before giving me an irresistible grin. "My little Sayu is turning into a bad girl, eh?"
She patted my head as I snorted, eyeing her sarcastically before giving her my own sweet smile.
"Will you do it or not?" I asked.
"It's a done deal, my girl!" She pranced back to her seat and gestured me to shoo.
I skipped out of my seat, only sprinting down the stairs before bolting out for a full run out of the front gate of the school.
Light left home at 7:30 am. Dad left home at 8 while Mom left at 9.
No one was home right now. My heart pounded into my ribcage as my lips lifted uncontrollably despite me panting from the exercise.
I could finally use the death note.
My chest heaved up and down as I stood in front of Light's room, staring intently at his door handle which was intentionally left tilted. In my hands, I held a notebook from class and a pencil.
This is it, I repeated.
Once this happens, there's no going back. I'll have to relinquish all memories of the Death Note soon after I get in touch of the actual book. This calls for some serious scribbling.
I smirked and opened Light's door, walking into the small space for the third time without his consent. His scent lingered around my nose before I looked back at the door, tracing the slip of white paper he had placed for insurance. Throwing my items onto the floor, I walked slowly towards his desk, unscrewing a random ball-point pen and opening his left drawer.
As expected, a brown notebook with the golden words, 'Diary' stood inside the empty space, standing boldly and glaring at me for distributing his peace.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump, thump.
My heart pounded, ringing its victory into my ear.
I ducked under the drawer, eyeing carefully at the small hole before stabbing the plastic tube in. The board under the diary lifted, revealing a luscious black cover of the death note.
Finally.
I breathed slowly.
Finally.
To be honest I had no idea why the hell I was so excited to see the book even though I hadn't killed Light yet. But the feeling of the book gave me a sense of exhilaration. My trembling hands reached into the drawer, slowly slipping away the book from the hidden board.
Yesssss.
I snapped around, wasting no time to dive towards my own notebook and started to furiously scribble the rules down in my own words.
The face must be thought of when writing the name.
Will never affect a person whose name was misspelled 4 times.
Cause of death written within 40 seconds will happen.
Writing the cause of death in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds.
40 seconds after no cause will cause a Heart attack.
Conditions must be physically possible.
I can write the cause of death first then fill in the name. I have 9 days as the limit before the cause of death loses effect.
The cause of death can be rewritten in 6 minutes and 40 seconds.
You can specify the time and date of death, however, if the time is longer than the person's original lifespan, they will die on the original time.
If you write "dies from disease" without specifying the condition, a suitable disease will be chosen for the victim.
When you write multiple names in the death note and then write down one cause of death within 6 minutes and 40 seconds the cause will take effect for all written names.
I stopped and dropped the pen, bending the spine of the note and ripping out a page neatly. To my surprise, the book refilled the same page completely without any remaining hints of being ripped out of the book.
TEAR TEAR TEAR TEAR TEAR TEAR TEAR
I grabbed a fistful of note papers and yanked them out of the book. The spine was rigged and torn into horizontal pieces as some of the pages vomited with cuts and wrinkles on the corners.
RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP
What is this, book abuse?
YANK YANK RIIIIIIP
I bunched up the torn papers, counting at a total of 40 pages before closing the book and sliding it back under the fake board in the drawer.
Organizing everything back in place, I closed Light's door and hobbled back to my own room, stunned at what just happened.
Yo, that book ripping was such a stress reliever though.
If I ever attain the death note, it's going to become my personal stress reliever activity.
I locked my own door before plopping into my desk seat, heaving a tremendous sigh. Okay, time to hide the pages.
I took out a prepared duotang with 60 plastic slots. Slipping each page of the death note neatly in, I left a whole page out, closing the duotang.
Honestly, I don't understand why Light would go beyond to hide the death note. I mean, yes the book was quite eye-catching, but the best spot to hide it would be blending it in with the normal books.
Well, in the situation that L rummaged through his visible book collections, then yes, Light was a genius at hiding. I took a sticky note and wrote 'extra paper for AP class' before taping it directly onto the cover of the duotang before standing up and slipping it into one of my bookshelves.
I'll have to keep this duotang with me at school too. Watari comes in when the whole family is out. Can't have him rubbing the papers with his bare or gloved hands. I turned back and sat back down in my seat.
As for this one...I paced into the kitchen, taking out a ziplock bag. As long as there is no direct contact with the paper, the notebook will note recognize me as a borrower of the pages. I folded the paper and slid it between the plastic folds.
This, I will place into the pocket of my coat. But before that…
My eyes wandered through the room, taking out more ordinary paper from my desk.
I need to write down all my knowledge of Death note.
I shifted uncomfortably in my own chair, the seat making my butt sore from the thin cushion. Please don't tell me only I had this problem
Retaining the information on the Death note was crucial, not only for remembering the vague timeline but the actions that I had planned to take in the future. I placed my pencil down, staring at the 4 pages of explanation I wrote down, coupled with the rules from the original book.
Right, because I do not want to have a flying death god watching me as I sleep. And certainly, I did not want to challenge him when keeping a blank face in front of Light.
"I relinquish all my memories of Death Note."
…
…
…
I blinked a second later, furrowing my eyebrows at my surroundings.
Why am I here…? When did I-
I paused completely, backtracking my misty memories.
Oh right...I wanted to skip class because it was so boring, I still have to reply to Aoiko on her invitation to the acting club…
Ah, I don't want to!
Wait-
Yesterday I planned to take the Death Note from Light…
I trailed off, glancing at what was in front of me.
Notes…? When did I-
My eyes almost popped out of my sockets.
"What-" I blanked out, staring dumbly at the pages in front of me that were summarizing my current situation and the timeline of Death Note. My eyes continued to grow wider as I sat back into my seat, stunned.
"I lost my memories of what I did 3 hours ago," I repeated slowly, once again repeating it to let it sink into my thick skull.
"But I kept my memories from my previous life, and everything I thought about before touching the Death Note." I pronounced the words like I was talking to a child.
"Oh shoot," I sagged into my seat. "I dunno if that's good or bad."
In the anime, Light used memory loss to lower L's guard. In fact, if he had kept even the memories that Death Note existed, he would have lost in the battle with L. Yet I was not Light, nor did L suspect me.
Yet.
Hopefully, that never happens, or else I will yeet myself off the Suspension bridge. I cannot maintain my standing between the battle of geniuses, even if I was from the future and knew had learned more in my past...Geniuses would always find ways to one-up you.
I leaned back forwards, picking up my written explanations before ripping them into smithereens.
The memory loss thing was a way to prove yourself to be innocent, yet in my position, this situation leaned to my advantage. So by relinquishing the Death Note, it literally means, losing memories from when you first touch the note to whenever you say the words.
"Holy macarons. I am OP." I threw back my head and burst out in a fit of giggles, facepalming myself as I lingered my hands on my eyes, resting them. My laughter died out slowly before retaining my serious expression.
"Now, for the rules." I picked up my initial math notebook, skimming my eyes through the instruction manual, going through everything once before resting my thoughts on one particular rule.
The face must be thought of when writing the name.
Face? But isn't that hard?
It's not like everyone could remember the faces clearly.
Though I haven't really tried before.
My expression scrunched up as I tried to recall anyone's face.
Nothing came but blurry confusion.
Ok, think Tsubame, she's pretty cute, right? Brown wavy short hair, neat and tidy uniforms...what did her face look like…?
Something started to crack inside me as I paled.
Wait, how about Isame? Miyara? Aoiko?!
I swear, I just saw Aoiko today morning!
I searched my memories for any answers, but all I remembered was everything but her face. I mean, now that I think of it, I could never recall anyone's face before…
In my mind, their body surfaced picture clear, yet their faces were blurry.
I mean, can everyone see faces in their minds?
Like, can they actually draw out the facial features?
Something cold grew inside of me, releasing ice into my stomach.
Light! How about Light?!
I literally have to kill him!
My fingers instantly turned blue from gripping my arm so hard and my palms started to sweat with my face turning stone cold.
I couldn't picture his face.
Not at all.
Something thudded in my chest and cut off the air from my lungs.
Something was wrong.
Something was really really wrong.
Badump. Badump.
Badump. Badump. Badump. Badump.
Badump. Badump. Badump. Badump. Badump. Badump.
Hot flushes suddenly overwhelmed inside my stomach as I bolted up, knocking my chair to the floor as I flew out of my room, into the kitchen and snatching my care card before I charged outside of the house, trembling.
I felt faint, even somewhat nauseous.
I wanted to hurl.
My feet took themselves to the nearest hospital, wheezing to the front desk as I shoved the care card at the receptionist.
"Please!" I begged, voice shaking so badly as my weight started shifting unsteadily on my feet. "Just let me see a doctor for a quick second, please!"
The receptionist looked baffled at my pale face and state, immediately calling a number on the phone and whispering 'emergency' into the line.
My hands were literally vibrating in mid-air in front of me as my breaths began to shorten into quick puffs, causing my eyes to water from the realization that I had something that I had not noticed for the past 19 years of my life.
It was funny since I found my quaking state amusing. But my smile quickly dropped at the thought of the worst possible scenario.
"No, no, no, no. You can't be diagnosed with-" My breathings shortened again, this time fully causing me to hyperventilate.
It was like a dream. I was being quickly ushered into a white room, me sitting on the black chair as they tried to calm me, asking me questions and soothing me with their calm voices. Question after question, they started to give me examinations about the question I had and finally asked me to wait in the waiting room for the results. My hands were still shaking at this point but my breathing stilled along with my emotionless face.
"Miss Yagami, would you like us to call your family members?" A nurse gently asked, sitting beside me and soothing my shoulders with a massage.
"N-no." My voice came out much more feebly than I had expected, instantly causing my face to twist. "T-they're all busy."
"Dad has a really important m-meeting today," I released a shaky break before the tears in my eyes glistened and splattered onto the ground, breaking into thousands of droplets.
"Mom is also at work. Brother...is in school." My own hot breath stunned me and somehow warmed my icy fingers.
"Sayu," A voice full of concern rang out away from me as I snapped my head to him, horrified.
The fuck is Light doing here?!
Light's step urgently hurried towards us, him still in his light brown school uniform and carrying his backpack. His hair gently wavered under the bright lights as his lips formed a thin line.
"I'm so sorry Miss Yagami, with your condition we had to call a family member. Your father did not pick up his phone and neither did your mother." The nurse hesitantly patted my shoulder, oblivious to my internal screeching.
Why the fuck did you ask then?! That you would call my family members?!
"Miss Yagami? You can come in now." I twisted my head towards the doctor's voice, gaping with a petrified expression as his eyes trailed to my brother before saying, "your family member can also come in."
Nothing came out of my mouth as the doctor revealed the results. The stone in my stomach hardened as I watched Light's eyebrows tie into a knot when he heard the diagnosis.
"It's not Prosopagnosia, which is good. Rather, it's Aphantasia." The doctor said, careful with the words.
"The difference?" My voice echoed through the room, closing my eyes and listening to his explanation, expressionlessly.
"Prosopagnosia is when you are unable to recognize a person's face. When you see them the faces appear in blur or indistinct. Aphantasia is different. In simpler terms it means that you are unable to recall their face in your minds" He continued.
"You have mild Aphantasia, which only affects parts of the images in your mind." The doctor looked at his noticeboard before lifting his soft gaze at me. "You said that you can see everything almost in detail, except the face?"
I nodded before he smiled slightly.
"You have a very good memory and observational talent, Miss Yagami. It shouldn't affect your life except for situations in remembering a person's face." He patted gently as we finished our conversation, silence echoed between my brother and me.
"I'll finish the information work." Light said as he nodded towards the empty bench at the corner of the hall, gesturing me to sit there. I did.
He walked away almost too quickly which made me narrow my eyes, before sneaking out the earpiece I had in my uniform pocket and squeezed it twice before placing it in my ear.
"It's too coincidental." Light's voice buzzed out quietly as the sound of his footsteps entered.
"Sayu getting diagnosed with Aphantasia right after."
I fell into a deeper depth of silence.
"Ryuk, can you keep track of how many have touched the Death note?"
There was a pause.
"Yagami? Oh yes, would you please fill out these forms-"
I tore the earpiece out and stuffed it into my pocket.
Sliding down into the seat and blinking blankly at the empty hall, I stared down into my hands while clenching and unclenching them.
I messed up.
So very badly.
I sighed out all my frustrations, falling into the deep abyss.
Author's note:
When your main character is too OP, you gotta throw the biggest rock at your creation.
Author's note:
So, I've seen a lot of comments saying that she could just look at the person while writing down the name. First things to point out, yes you are correct, she could...but that would still be extremely inefficient.
Ex 1: she doesn't have a phone yet, and in 2003, the phones weren't developed that much yet. Taking a photo of someone would cause suspicion and, taking a lot of RAM.
Ex2: yeah, she could murder in her own house, killing people on the TV, but remember, the moment she takes her eyes off of the photo, the image disappears. Meaning, that if she attempted, the photo would have passed on the screen from running out of time, or when writing halfway she accidentally takes her eyes off and it will disrupt the killing.
Ex 3: yes, killing in public. What would you feel if a person was staring intensely at you while writing on paper? Yes, that's just creepy.
Ex 4: taking photos, printing them out, then writing them in the time she wants to kill them? Well, someone is going to get suspicious like, "Oh look! Every time someone dies, Sayu has a picture of them! How suspicious!" -Like that. You could say, "just tell her to burn it!" But Light is extremely careful of observing things like those! Wouldn't he think something was fishy if her room smelled like smoke?
Throwing the picture away outside in a trash can? Talk about L's cameras along with the fingerprints she might accidentally leave from coming in contact with a lot of photos.
Her having this diagnosis does not mean that she can't use the book, it just means that the best and easiest option is taken away from her.
Thank you. For all of you who comment about her looking at the person and writing it down, above are the reason why she's devastated.
Reviews are desperately needed!
