Author's Note:Hello lads and ladies

I have returned a solid week after. Trying to keep this weekly rhythm going if I can but life is much more simple than it normally would be right now. This chapter hurt to write because I did something that I didn't plan on doing, but Legosi has a mind of his own when it comes to situation of these. I hope you guys enjoy it, because Chapter 10 is already on the editing block. So next week we'll have another one coming up. I hope you have a lovely rest of the day and enjoy life as it is.

Editor: SuperAverageFoxyboy

Enjoy!
-Portal

Chapter 9: A Small Heart Beats Either Way

The white dwarf rabbit starred up at the brown herbivore who stood above her bench. His subtly smile was amplified by the soft sunlight that washed over them.

"How are you?" Louis spoke softly, sitting down beside her. The rooftop garden was warm enough to make it feel like the height of summer, even if it had already started to pass. She kicked her legs that hung off the bench, her ears slightly sagging forwards.

"I'm ok." She looked at her black shoes, reflecting the sunlight of their smooth surface. Louis unbuttoned his vest, laying it on top of his jacket, draping it over the bench's armrest.

"You seem preoccupied." He pushed his sleeves up, leaned back, and closed his eyes as he soaked up the sun. An exhausted sigh sounded from him before he continued. "Stuck in thought?"

Haru looked over at Louis, the sunshine drawing web-like shadows on the gardening shack's wall. He looked beautiful. Imposing and strong, all insecurities wiped from his being in the pure state of bliss of the current moment. Haru started to believe that a certain kind of pride and posture could only be held by deers. The leaders of herbivore culture. She smiled faintly, laying her hand on his leg. She looked at the ground, a subtle sense of fear and sadness in her.

"I'm worried about your father," spoke Haru with a sigh. Louis's straightened his neck, and his eyes opened. He looked down at the pure white animal beside him. Haru's eyes were looking to the ground with the tiniest hints of a frown sitting at the corners of her mouth.

"I worry too..." His arm wandered around her, and in response, she leaned closer into his chest.

"I don't think I'll know what to say to him when the time comes. There are so many things that could happen, and happily accepting me into his arms likely isn't one of those."

Louis looked through the large assortment of flowers as he felt almost completely neutral to it all. The reaction of his father the previous night made a lot of things very complicated.

"I think worrying now ain't of much use. Why worry about the troubles of tomorrow?" The two looked at each other, Louis planting a kiss on her nose with a content smile.

"And besides, his reaction isn't what's most important to me…" He looked at the garden again, looking off into space. His arm pressed Haru against himself with gentle firmness, and Louis's eyes found hers. "That's you, and nothing will ever change that."

Haru smiled as he bent down for another kiss.If only everything could be so simple, they both thought simultaneously. They both knew full well that Louis's words were easy to say and sweet to hear but a bit further from the truth than one liked to admit. It depended on many more things than just what Louis was feeling. It was a happy sentiment anyway, and sometimes a sentiment was all that was needed. Because in the big picture, they were only small dots of paint on a much larger canvas.

Both said nothing for a while. They both had their own sets of fears that made them worry about the situation. They could both lose something they cherish. Both were afraid of that day, and yet both knew that it needed to be done. It was a matter of manners. You had to declare war before attacking. That was how you played the game.

Louis knew how crude that sounded, but it was a war. A war for his freedom that he had put off for way too long now.

"How was your dinner with your father?" asked Haru innocently. Louis was still on the fence about what happened that night, if he truly heard the emotion in Oguma's words or if his mind just played tricks on him. All of his logical thinking screamed at him that it was nothing but his senses failing him, but his memory told a different story. Never had he misheard something that sounded so clear.

"It was… different. I could almost swear it sounded like he truly cared about me for the very first time." Haru looked at him in confusion. The Oguma she had heard so much about was cold, methodical, and dismissive. "But then again, I don't know if it was simply me interpreting something into it… I can't ever predict or measure his reactions."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I was nine, I got 75 percent on a test, which was under the 96 percent threshold I normally held. And instead of scolding me, he... bought me a brand new bike..." Louis recalled the bizarre memory of Oguma's twisted parenting method. A reward for the first bad deed of the child. It all felt like a bad joke, and somehow it felt strangely accurate for the repressed and controlled businessman that Oguma was. His way of expressing emotions was always out of place and yet eerily fitting.

"Mmmh…" Haru had no idea how to correlate the two ideas with each other. Louis told her of a complex animal that was too difficult to be properly explained with mere words. Haru felt Louis's hand close around her own. Suddenly his face in front of hers, his warm lips land on hers. She melted into it, holding his face with a caring hand. They separated longing for breath.

"I would rather concentrate on you than on him if I may be honest." His arms reached around her fully, softly hugging her. It was a comforting sensation of his warmth brushing against her while being enveloped by the warmth of sunlight. When they separated after a short moment, Louis's arm remained around her.

Haru looked at the ground, a sadness taking place in her heart that hadn't returned for a long time. In a clear and mellow voice, she spoke: "I'm sorry."

Louis opened his eyes in surprise, gently squeezing her with his arm.

"What do you have to be sorry for?"

Haru looked up at him, Louis feeling terror awaken when he saw a mature and real sadness in her expression. The bare nuance of a smile combined with her content black eyes gave a terrible message.I am content with losing something.

"If it weren't for me, you would already be well on your way of marrying that doe without much feeling of self-doubt. And you could go ahead with your life. Be the Leader of that Conglomerate… you wouldn't be sitting here on the verge of throwing something so important as your future away… This is all a nice and sweet sentiment, something good to remember and look back at once you've grown up, but it's not something worth pursuing… You've simply been seduced by a charming succubus…"

Louis felt his heart crack, the cold metal bracing of his armor enveloping his soul once again. How in the name of all things could that bastard of a father cause his sweet, precious, snowflake to feel so useless and… and evil of all things? Such a sweet and caring creature that has done nothing but show compassion and love to all those around her. His arm left her side, grasping at her hands that rested in her lap. He got onto his knees, maneuvering himself in front of her so that both were at eye level. Haru looked up at him, her own sober, brutal and unforgiving sense of mature and bitter acceptance not fitting the burning vigor behind his eyes. That simple comment had sparked a flame in the young man she loved, burning brighter than she'd ever seen him before.

"I haven't lit that candle for nothing, my dear sweet Haru. And there are a lot of things in my life that I haven't told you about. For the longest time, I wasn't the person I was now… and... Oguma isn't even my father." A tear rolled down his cheek. It hurt, but she deserved to know why he couldn't give up now.

"Haru, I was livestock." His delivery was dry and cold, unforgiving, and undeniably traumatized.

"Louis, I don't know if I understand." Haru desperately tried to make sense of his words, but in the end, her limited knowledge of the Black Market would disrupt that.

"I was born from a mother and father of whom I never knew and never loved. I was sold into a life of- No. What I had to go through hardly even counts as life. I, and many others, became nothing more than a product, something to be browsed and purchased by carnivores."

Haru gasped, trying to find the right words to say. "I didn't know…"

"You couldn't have," The deer replied, softly brushing over her cheek before continuing. "Oguma liberated me from that black market. He bought me because the old buck is infertile. And you know how people are here when it comes to adoption and the honor of your bloodline."

Louis was shooting for the fences here. The honor of the bloodline was a nobility issue, nothing that common animals- he violently stopped the thought. This was no casting for a role, this was him emptying his heart to his love. No one was watching over his shoulder to write a three-page long critique of his performance, detailing how in character or how believable his act was.I don't have to portray myself as a character… Louis, get a hold of yourself.

"When he pulled me out of that dark cell, suddenly I had a choice again. I had a chance at a real life. I was supposed to be free to forge my own destiny and control my own future, and yet, I've never felt so out of control in my life... That is until I met you...

"Louis..."

"I've been out of control for so long… I'm not gonna give you up just because of the lifehemade for me. You just have to believe me, and more importantly, believe in us." Louis's look changed one to love and respect of the highest grade, channeling every ounce of self that had been stowed away for these long twelve years since his rescue. "Because I believe in you. I believe you strong enough to bear with me. I believe that you'll be strong enough to hold your head up when you walk to him for the first time. I believe…"

Louis lost all words that he could think of. The gates to his feelings were now opened. "And I believe that you will not leave me… I cannot bear that… I need you..."

Louis's head sunk, lowering his gaze as much as his antlers allowed without impaling or scratching Haru. He looked down, awaiting her answer.

Nothing. He remained looking to the ground, not a sound between them except the flowing breeze and chirping insects in the warmth of the sun. Fear started to spread through him as he started to jump to conclusions. She hates me… she hates the idea of me being livestock… she thinks I'm acting and think her a fool… oh Rex, please let her say something.

Suddenly, Louis felt hands on his antlers, nudging them upwards. He looked up in terrified anticipation of what he would see.

He saw a smile. It was a combination of adult understanding and childish happiness.

"I love you… my sweet prince of the forest."

He acted without control, engulfing her in his arms, hugging her against him. She returned the strong gesture of love and support, the two find themselves in a spot of collective familiarity in their embrace. They had been in this spot too many times, both in their own contexts that now lead them together. Us against the world.


"Ah, shit…" Gouhin starred at the small heap of porcelain on the floor, the cup laying to rest in a mess of shards. He picked up the broom and collected what remained of the cup.

From a short glance at the clock, it was 6:45. Strightman usually arrived five minutes before seven, making sure to never arrive too late. Gouhin guessed that it was his police punctuality, the workplace ethic carrying over to his personal life. But with some things, he could never guess. Strightman was certainly well behaved before he had been an officer of the law.

Gouhin threw the shards into the trash bin. A resounding noise of the porcelain clinking against each other emanated from it.

Gouhin could never really shake the idea of that damned murder case for some reason. The coroners report that he got was in no way helpful, not showing any clues on indications of the killer's species. The only fact they gathered was the one already clear to him. That the killer is not of reptile species. It was quite troubling to think that the police tasked with locating him were absolutely clueless and as it seemed inept for the most part. Gouhin himself could go concentrate on locating and detaining the individual for treatment, but any time he would take off the black market could be crucial time that costs lives. As controlled, regulated, and surveillanced the market was, there were still too many trouble makers. And his employer, the very quiet and reserved head of the black market, held a lot of trust in the old doctor. And he never planned on disappointing him. You didn't disrespect a man like Mr. Tokugawa.

A cordial knock came from the door, bringing Gouhin to look at the clock. 6:53

"Come in."

Strightman opened the door, his attire being of a casual kind. A light blue shirt with light gray pants.

"Good evening, Doctor." Strightman greeted Gouhin, the panda simply holding up his hand in a simple wave. He took out a cigarette, lighting it with a match as Strightman approached the table.

After a drag, Gouhin started the conversation.

"How was your first shift? The UAB is throwing a hissy fit with trying to keep their students safe."

Strightman sat down, picking up the small cup of tea at his side of the table. The mix of tea leaves inside the pot being a concoction of fennel, sage, and lemon leaves. He shook his head dismissively.

"Uneventful, if anything happened at all, which I find unlikely." Strightman took a sip. "If the culprit was, in fact, at that school, he surely got cold feet. No one is crazy enough to act nearby a trained professional." Gouhin grinned at the sarcastic tone of the last word.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. Do you even qualify as a professional?" The two chuckled for a small bit, returning to a well-known and comfortable silence. Gouhin lead the cigarette to his mouth, the embers shining brighter, smoke emitting from his nostrils.

"How's Vera?" Strightman almost seemed frightened at the sudden inquiry about his wife, nervousness rising within him.

"Good, good. Just worried about her application. She's trying to go for a different position. Said the work environment wasn't the best." Gouhin could understand well enough what he was getting at.

Harassment and bickering in herbivore-dominated fields was a common problem. Enough that most of his patients have told him the same story of being shunned at the office for no apparent reason known to them.

"Well, give her best wishes from me."

Strightman's mood eased up.

"Will do, doctor." Strightman leaned back a bit, a curious glance setting in. "You mentioned once before that there were 'good kids' at Cherryton. A few ones you helped out?"

A large smile grew on the panda's face for no reason he could discern. It all seemed so absurd. A group of kids and an old man sending an entire mafia down the drain in a rescue mission. It was so campy and cheesy that he could almost swear it was something you'd read in a comic book.

"That's worth me telling the tale." Gouhin tapped on the stub between his fingers, ash falling into the ashtray.

"It still feels like a dream, to be honest with you. That day was sure so out of place… The type of dream that pseudo scientists start to interpret the wildest assumptions into. But I never believed in such things. I treat my patients awake, Not in deep-sleep." Gouhin took a large gulp of his tea, emptying the cup. He picked up his kettle and refilled it, continuing with his story.

"I was out on my usual routes, patrol. And I hear of these repeated questions about the shishigumi from all around the market. Always in a direction out of my field of view. And when you hear someone talk about the shishigumi, bad news usually comes with. So I followed them, always hearing the questions just out of sight. I'll be frank, I have absolutely no idea why I did follow them. At any other time, I'd likely just turn the other way and stay out of things. But follow them, I did. Up until I reached that little alleyway…" a look of disbelief set in, another absurd smile on his face.

"It was just kids… just a bunch of kids not older than eighteen." He took another drag, blowing shapes that resembled snakes in a weird and foreboding way into the air.

"They wanted to rescue a friend… that's what they told me nonetheless. A rabbit kidnapped by the king of kings when it comes to the back alley. The Shishigumi should be at the very least be somewhat familiar to you."

Strightman nodded. The police especially would be familiar with the Black market mafia as it was. And the strongest of them all was always the Shishigumi, the self-proclaimed kings of the jungle.

"The police force has had to deal with a fair share of them." Trouble makers were the word that he would have used on delinquents that strutted through the night looking to do just that, cause trouble. Young graduates that felt like the kings of creation, going off to party a bit too hard. Nothing that a night in the holding cell and a very minor warning couldn't fix. Hell, most of the police force had once been in their shoes at some point in their lives. But the crimes and problems that the gumis caused were of a different caliber. It was talk of murder, predation, hate crimes, vandalism, arson, and theft.

Senior members of the police would always swear that the good old shishigumi they knew would never do such things, only concentrating on keeping the black market safe and sound, or their part of the turf of it. And yet, no one ever dared to step foot into the black market with a list of arrests. A large part of the cities police force was carnivores and the mayor didn't want to cause any reason for the unrest of carnivore citizens, with him being one himself.

"I know enough to know that they are a bunch of murderous fucking lunatics, pardon my french." Gouhin could only chuckle at the formality that seemed to never end with this great fellow that he had come to call a partner.

"Well… I can't for the life of me explain why I said I'd help those kids, knowing full well how violent and ehm, barbaric they are. But I just said I'd help them." The black fur surrounding his black eyes made the small wandering eye movement almost impossible to see.

"But more surprising to me is that we actually managed to get her out, this small pure white dwarf rabbit girl."

Strightman's confusion made Gouhin break out into laughter again, feeling through and through entertained by his friend's reaction.

"You? And what, five kids beat the whole of the Shishigumi?"

"Four kids, the whole group of us was five in total." Embers turned brighter, smoke escaped through his lips. "But yes we, sure enough, did… don't ask me how. That day still feels like a weird power trip as I dwell on the memory of it."

Strightman looked at the doctor and was debating with himself if the logical part of his mind really let him get away with the story. Logic told him this was a bad piece of fiction written by an inexperienced fool, but he had also never heard Gouhin tell a lie. It was a fight his mind could have a different time he supposed. Maybe once they were home and had fewer things to worry about.

"Sure sounds like one hell of a story." Strightman saw Gouhin's grin grow wider.

"I wouldn't be mad if you'd thought I was making a fool out of you, because I would think the same if someone told me that story." He pressed the cigarette butt into the ashtray, killing the embers that still burned. "Fancy another cup?"

"Sure," said Strightman, smiling friendly as Gouhin poured some more of the hot liquid into his cup. The two continued their little meeting for a while longer, the time flying by quicker than Gouhin had really anticipated, the clock already striking half-past eight much earlier than he expected.

"Well, doctor, I enjoyed the tea, but my wife expects me at home around nine. And I really need to be there for her. She's been nothing but a nervous wreck lately."

"Call when you need me." Gouhin waved at Strightman.

"Goodnight, Doc." Strightman bowed respectfully and closed the door behind him.

"'I hope you watch your back, son." He never dared to call him that while he was in the room, but as much as the panda had tried to fight it, the nickname of "son" had implemented itself into his word use when addressing the cheetah. He felt sappy every time his mind forced him to use it, but he couldn't really help it neither.

Gouhin grabbed his coat, his keys, and his tranq rifle and opened the back door, his preferred way of passage when planning to venture into the black market. He walked along the small walkway at the back of the clinic, a small cramped walkway hidden between a restaurant and a cooling unit, towards the spot of interest. In the dead center of an alley junction was a small staircase to the top of a building. After reaching the top you could overlook much of the market, only the occasional tower obscuring the view.

Gouhin loved to be here. It gave him the space to think about all proceedings of a day without any distraction. He sat there and watched the market from above, lettings his thoughts sprout and jump from left to right. His concentration gave only his eyes the attention to detect movement, which after a short time of waiting, it did.

When he spotted the first patient of the night, he cocked his rifle, the last thought before the hunt began moving back onto the cheetah, and the cold feeling of dread he felt whenever he pictured him patrolling the school-grounds…


In all the years that Legosi spent on this earth, he never thought that real terror could arise from such affectionate gestures. Not when all the fear he ever felt came from embarrassment or others fearing him, but never would he have guessed that the most amount of fear in his young life could come from a warm embrace.

Legosi sat within her arms, feeling her hand ruffle through his hair, the side of his head pressed into her chest. A hum escaped her lips, the scales on her arms shimmering into his eyes as she occasionally brushed his cheek.

"Ssssh. I got you." arose from her throat whenever he shivered, pressing him tighter against him. He had no memory of this ever happening. In all honesty, he didn't believe it ever did. His earliest memories showed a reserved and terribly afraid creature that spent all time she could in the darkness of her room. The only time she really exited it was the weekly wash, which she always did while Legosi was at school, or at the day-care, and Gosha had lowered all shudders and left for work.

And then there was the fear he felt. For all the years of pushing it down for all that was possible, he never thought that the day it would come back to haunt him would be now, when he had so many other troubles. Becoming an adult, taking care of his girlfriend, or dealing with the killer roaming the school grounds. He had no other choice but lay there in her sweet embrace and wait for his foolish mind to finally let him return into the real world, safe from all the acidic smell of acid-drenched grass, free from her scaly fur, and free of the terrible feeling that all of this was simply his fault.

Juno awoke to find his mat entirely empty, no sight of Legosi anywhere in the shack. It was Sunday, meaning both of their schedules were completely empty, making his early departure illogical. She stood up and quietly walked to the window. He did not depart from the garden as it seemed, sitting beside one of the flower patches.

As she made her way to the grey wolf, she saw just how hunched over he was, carefully inspecting one of the flower heads. The small bees buzzed over the flowers, paying no mind to the larger wolf observing them.

"Legosi?" His ear flicked, the only reaction he gave revealing that he had heard her. His fur was rough, uncombed, and matted. She crouched down beside him, now seeing his eyes which were red with irritation. Juno sighed in sympathetic sadness as she understood what had happened again. Another nightmare? What's happening to you? It's been a whole week of this...

"You look terrible." He continued to watch the insect life in front of him, occasionally blinking, but giving no sign of mental presence. His arms were slung around himself to conserve warmth, the morning being much cooler than the one before.

"I'm gonna prepare a bath for you, your freezing." Her hand reached for his arm, the other laying around his back. A small nod was the only response, nothing more coming from the wolf stuck in thought. This is what people call trauma, isn't it? You are so cold. His body had cooled down to the outside temperature, meaning he must have sat here for a while now.

Juno got a blanket from the shack, enveloping him in the large piece of fabric, which he started to clutch tightly as soon as it had entered his grasp. She went into the bathroom and saw the singular shower beside the toilet, the brown door beside the sink going to another smaller room with a small window at the top of the opposite wall, and a large bathtub. It was built large enough to seat two large breed carnivores in an attempt to make it suitable for maintenance staff of all size groups. Different fill lines painted the inside of the tub, showing the different amounts of water needed for size categories. With a turn of the valve, warm water started to flow into the tub. She whipped the chain ahead, sinking the stopper into the drain. For a mere gardening and maintenance shack, they have it pretty good...

"Come on, big guy." she leads the cold mess of a wolf into the room, helping him disrobe as his limps had gotten stiff from the outside temperature. After taking her own clothes off, she followed him into the shower cabinet. Legosi winced when the hot water hit his body, his skin tingling as it warmed up. The shower was almost normal to her. Helping Legosi scrubbing his fur, only this time he almost didn't move at all. He only turned when she told him to, standing there with a mute stare into nothing. It was like showering with a stranger.

Legosi sunk into the bath with a blank expression, laying completely still as his girlfriend dropped herself into the water, floating to his side. He found himself in her embrace when he truly started to return to the real world, his eyes drifting to hers as his mouth dropped into an exhausted frown.

"You need to start talking to someone about this. It's been a week of nonstop nightmares." A sudden sad and small smile appeared on his face. His arms enveloped her again, causing the water to splash waves at the rim of the tub.

"I need to tell you so much, but I don't have any strength to do so." sudden anger struck through her core, bringing her to stare at him coldly.

"You know you can trust me, don't you. No matter what you say, I won't be mad at you." Legosi's only response was a slow shake of his head.

"I can't…" The anger disappeared as she heard him speak, a traumatizing sorrow painting sadness onto him like a painter would draw landscapes on a canvas. But this landscape was bleaker than bleak. A storm was coming, the town's people were fleeing their homes, with no hope of escape as the first lighting strike ripped through the air.

"Then at least let me help you, poor idiot. Don't let it fester. I can't bear to see you suffer like this." His eyes wandered to her. She looked sad, distraught, and helpless. What kind of mirage of feelings did he cause in people all of the sudden. First, he conducted therapy on Louis without knowing it, bringing a sense of trust into the cold mask he used to wear. Then he conducted therapy on Pina, the cocksure sheep being brought to silence at the sudden turn of the conversation that he had caused by no active thought at all. And now he caused this much pain in the girl he loved so much? Was he really this goddamn pathetic that he helped everyone around him without any plan, but when he tried to keep a relationship alive he hurt not only himself but the one he loved so damn much?

He floated closer, his hand emerging from the water's surface, and brushed her cheek slightly. He left un-cried trails of tears on her cheek, his hand wetting the fur on her face.

"I haven't realized how much it started to hurt you." Juno pushed his hand away, now real tears starting to stream down her face.

"It's not me I am worried about, it's you! You've done nothing but cry over the last week, and you've told me nothing. It hurts… it just hurts." Her hands wandered to her face, crying in a fashion that reminded him of the day he found her. But now it was him that caused her tears.

Two wolves in a bathtub, a wolf that got his mate to cry. Legosi reached out to touch her but recoiled. What else can you cause really, you useless moron will only hurt her more,he thought to himself.

She lowered her arms the a large, wet, and gray mass of fur left the tub, dripping on the white tiles of the bathroom floor. He turned around sightly, just peeking at her again. His eyes told a story that she couldn't fully hear or understand. One of pain and sorrow. One of hopelessness and inevitable failure. It was impossible to guess what he was truly feeling at that moment from an outside point of view.

"I need some time to think. I won't hurt you any longer." Juno reached forward trying to make her way forward to stop him. Her feet didn't grip the floor of the tub, making her stumble into the water, as Legosi had semi-closed the door.

"No, wait! That's not what I meant." Guilt and fear washed over her, knowing just how blind and irrational Legosi could be. This could very well be him understanding her cries as signs of wanting to break up.

"Don't-" Her foot didn't grasp footing on the white tiles either, letting her sink to the floor as she grasped the tub's rim for support. She heard the door of the bathroom closing, making her sink to the floor entirely in cold sorrowful defeat. "-leave me alone."

Juno looked at the door, laying on the ground, naked, soaked in water that was beginning to cool off. She curled up, tears of her own flowing freely. It wasn't the colder air of the room or her being soaking wet that made her shiver. It was the knowledge that her nightmare of losing Legosi might have just become a reality.