Chapter 75: The Bard's College
Bob the Bard had enoth of boing the made fun of and havin to watchy overs getin teh gloryed whent he gets the nothing. So Bob the Bard is nao gonna pursuse the Bard's Collage to get to bee a Bard and that whil be the good and not teh bad. Also nao Bob the Bard is trin to make an name for himsef and si doing the chraric dees arond teh wrold to make a good name for him.
So Bob is walkin to the Solitude capital whent he came acros a camp of forsworn and tey wanted tp ate him and so hey chased him and Bob ran for his lvie and he was runing nad runing to save his livy and thant he got to the top of the waterfool and it had a leap that is theh called the Bard's Leap Point (how vary apropoiate) and so Bob jumpyed of and thinked that he was the gona dye and be the dead and not alive any moar.
But it stead Bob is teh alive cause he landed in a pool of water at the botem of the waterfool and as Bob got out tere was sum goast dude of antoehere Bard ho say to Bob these words
"Been a long time since someone took the leap. Longer still since any survived it. I once performed the entirety of the Poetic Edda from atop Bard's Leap before trying my luck. Well, you can see how that turned out."
Than he teached Bob a song and some speech skil points and so Bob was the pelased that he gotted such a hed start "I wil be the beast Bard at this rate" Bob thinke d and that he left the place via a boat.
So Bob soon quickly got to the Solitude after a loing jorny of many miles. Than he the arived in Solitude and teh were clenin up form the New Life Festival and talkin about the Empoeror new speech and how he had picked up and put up the taxes this yeer evant moar so there are pepole compaling about taxes or sayig tar tere shold be no moar taxes. Tere was alo pepole talkni about how it so good that somone kiled those stupid costume characters that arr always arond in the festivals those bear and chick adn rarebit and fox guys that are so stupid lokin and annoyin that it was about time that somone kilered them.
Bob did the not car muh baout this thogh he was glad that some competion had be removed and he walked to the Bards colage and got tere. So Bob entared and wated to sighn up for the Bards collage and he spok to the dude there caled Viarmo and Bob asked him if he cold join the Bard's Collage
So Viarmo told Bob that they get many pepole wanting to join but acept few and Bob was upset thinking that he wil nevar get in and that tere wil be some hotshot bard who get in and not him. This was so anoyin but thant Viarmo say "there is something you can help me with that is that Queen Elda had a baneded the burning of King Olaf festival and I ned to reading the part of the poetic eda that is about teh burning of King Olaf to conice her to put i on again but that part has bean lst for many centruies" and Bob think tedt somone must of forgot to reunrn a liebarry book. Than Viarmo sauy "We nao kno that the lost parts are in atomb and I needs to find a verse fo to jon the Bards Collage"
Bob was not the pleased to hear that he had to go down some deap dank tomb to find the old book and he was abotu to say no when re membered that he neds to join the Bards Collage and also that he needs to be taken seriously so it was time for a training montage.
Bob the Bard whent to the esotic wepon shop and brot a bladed fiddle that he had custom made and he also had a custom made sutie of armour with the crest of a bard on it witch showed a fiddle and a loin. So than Bob whent to the to training are in Solitude and trained his skills with his new weepon.
So for long time Bob triand to be the beast bard warrior to fite to get the verses form teh tomb and he fort targets adn did runs adn slew dnagerous anymales with the montage music playing.
Soon Bob the Bard the readhy to go to the tomb and he did he arived there on his bard horse. So he entared the tomb and tere was some goast bard doing the playing of instrument and this lamost scared Bob but it din't and than he was tac ked by those unded Nord pepole but Bob the Bard sliced them up with his bladed fiddle and destroyed them.
Tere was some claaw on a table and he picked it up and the gate infont poneded and he whent. So thean he had to avoid some spike trap witch he did and than came down som stairs adn sawed a chain that puled to open moar of the way and tere was that gaost again leadin Bob the way to go.
Bob got thought the catacombs and fort moar Draugr and than he came to some spiders who managed cut up with this fiddle. Than tere is moar cobwebs with some chests buried in them adn Bob soon came into a big room with two spiders in a some grates.
Bob ran past one and puled the chain and it droped the spider into water were it drown adn Bob say "had jsut liek spiders in bathutb" but the over one atacke and it big but Bob used his fiddle to fiddle the Spdier real goo and made it dye.
Than Bob jumped down the pit and was in water "ah! isgusting!" he say and than kil a rat. Than Bob got to the ended of that water pwat and tere was moar Draugr and Bob play music with his sharpedn fiddle on there bones cuting them up.
Than Bob came to the part were the is steps leaidng up and trapas that throw asxes at toyu and Bob had to avoiding the axes and got to the end were there is more pathway and pits and traps and a sealed door that is sealed with magic. Bob tried to open bit it close and he mvoed on.
Tere was ie of those puzel door beingd and Bob tried to open but than rembered he had to solve the puzzel witch he did and the door unlcked itselfved and there was more begind.
Than Bob came to the bottem of the staris and tere was a big grate with many gates siding and Bob came in and than al the gates oponed and Bob was croweded with many Draugr but this was not to much problem as Bob used his Fiddle to make much msuci on their heads and limbs. Soon all the undead Draugr was the dead.
Than Bob decnded down the stairs and came to a book and it was the Verse of King Olaf and he took it and there aslo that same Bard goast lokin on the chair at him and than Bob came up the stairs and made to the seal door again with the gaodst opned and then tere was a staircase and Bob Smith whent up it and tere was a roomed with a poo of water in middle nd many Draugr sat of thromes lookin borded.
Than the Goast whent to the middle of the room and sayed "Olaf it is time" and the Draugr all got up and atackled but some dint cause they not move. So Bob and the Goast forted all the Draugr and were kiliering them and makin them dye. Bob was playing tunes on the Draugr bones and the gaosts was atacking them wit gaost sordals.
Soon tey all were the ded and not as in unded but finshed and destroyed. So that part of the room was cleared and than the gaost came to the tomb and sayed "arise Olaf my venegence is at hand" and then the gaost of King Olaf arose and fort them.
So it was a dermatic batle Bob was weilding his balded fiddle and cut and cut and cut down moar Draugers and the goast was attacking with his gaost word again and soon they has srounded the king olaf and hwe was doing cool attacks back but it was no emoth and soon he was destryoed Bob the Bard had vanquished his furst boss and he lotted the treusure and also the side room and found the way back out and returned to Solitude in traathunm
Bob the Bard got back to the Bards Collage and gave the book to Viarmo who amazed the Bob the Bard had acually found it and than he stated reading and was not happy cause tere are so many important parts of the story that are missing so the fesitval is cancled and we can all go home.
But WAIT! Viarmo had an idea and that was for him to improvise the missing lines and so they whent thougth the text to writing in the missing part so fusrt Viarmo say
"O, Olaf, our subjugator, the one-eyed betrayer;"
"death-dealing demon and dragon-killing King."
"Your legend is lies, lurid and false;"
"your cunning capture of Numinex, a con for the ages."
"King Olaf was Olaf One-Eye? He famously captured the dragon Numinex and took him to Dragonsreach. What do we say really happened?"
So Bob thiunked and had idead "King Olaf is acually Numinex a Dragon in human form"
Viarmo acually loved this idea and sayed
"I find that highly unlikely... but the court will love it. I'm writing it in."
Bob cold not belve that somone was aucally lisening to his ideas so this is the good s nao Viarmo sayed
"Olaf grabbed power, by promise and threat;"
"From Falkreath to Winterhold, they fell to their knees;"
"But Solitude stood strong, Skyrim's truest protectors."
"Olaf's vengeance was instant, inspired and wicked."
"Strange. According to history Solitude attacked Winterhold, but Aesgeir seems to be saying Olaf reacted. What do we say happened?"
So Bob thinked again ans sayed "Olaf tunreded into a Dragon and sacked Winterholm" and again once again Bob was surpised his ideas were the being taksen seriously casue Viarmo saued
"Oh that is exciting! I'm sure the court and the Jarl will love it. I'm writing it in now."
So they came to the cort of the Jarl Elisif the Fair and he came to her thorne and she sayed that she herd this is about the pention for the fesival to go ahead again and he sayed that they had found the mising verse of King Olaf and she is the impresed and so Viarmo pefomres the masterpeice that they had made that had the help of thres master artsis and mistroes hte Aesgeir and Viarmo and Bob.
"O, Olaf, our subjugator, the one-eyed betrayer;"
"death-dealing demon and dragon-killing King."
"Your legend is lies, lurid and false;"
"your cunning capture of Numinex, a con for the ages."
"No shouting match between dragon and man, no fire or fury did this battle entail."
Olaf was Numinex in human form, on moonless nights he would spread wings and sail.
Olaf grabbed power, by promise and threat;
From Falkreath to Winterhold, they fell to their knees;
But Solitude stood strong, Skyrim's truest protectors.
Olaf's vengeance was instant, inspired and wicked.
Olaf gave orders, Winterhold disguises. An attack on Solitude total destruction to follow.
Because Solitude would not soon bend knee, Olaf would hurt them while his status accrued. He sacked Winterhold in dragonform, and bent their minds to blame Solitude.
So ends the story of Olaf the liar, a thief and a scoundrel we of Solitude commit to the fire.
In Solitude bards train for their service, they also gather each year and burn a King who deserves it.
This was brilaint and not only the Jarl Elisif the Fair but teh eniree cort lvoed it and claped and chareed and this was the good. Not only that but Elisif the Fair gave the collage moar funding adn Bob got a good some of moneys as weel and that than Bob was sent to speak to Jorn about the fesvial going on that nite.
So the efeogy was preapred and they all met out side to watch the buring of the King Olaf and there was sweets beings serves and spiced wine being sold and handed out. There was also a peformacne from fired dancers and fire eaters and peole dress as devils adn spiderman. Than Bob came up as the bunred the King Olaf and good words were spoke about him.
"Welcome, people of Solitude! We of the Bards College are pleased to be here to celebrate the Burning of King Olaf. The festival would not have been possible without the dedication and hard work of our latest applicant."
And evrone cheered anc slaped and claped for Bob the Bard and nao Viarmo set the fire on King Olaf efgoy and sayed
"With the lighting of the effigy he becomes a full-fledged member of the Bards College. Please welcome our newest Bard!"
Tere was moar of cheering and claping and for once Bob the Bard is populared
So Viarmo say to Bob the Bard
"Congratulations, you are now a full-fledged member of the Bards College. Due to your adventurous nature several of the college professors have some things they wish you to do. What's more, Elisif has declared the Burning of King Olaf should become a weekly event. And finally, there's the matter of the Patronage that Elisif wanted me to give you."
So it was al good Bob the Bard saved the fesival and got moneys and also got in Bard collage. Also it semed that he had moar work here unles the profesors were coming on to him by mention adventures nature he hoped not and he hoped he whould be abled to advnced his skills as a bard and become the beast bard of al time.
