Chapter 41

"Isame, you're here," I greeted her, tearing my view from the rocky cliff. Waves crashed threateningly below our feet as the wind roared with fury and isolation. Isame smiled cheerfully before skipping towards me with a file underneath her arm, handing it over to me as I peered over the pages of the Death Note and counted the names that she had written down.

"Sayu! This place is so pretty! I never thought that Mr. Henrik had a mansion near the ocean!" Isame whirled around before sniffing the smell of the sea and feeling the warm wind blow through her loose hair. I gave a small hum before closing the book with a satisfied nod, seeing that all my orders were fulfilled properly, just how I had told her to.

There were 50 people who she had under her control and 8000 that were under mine. Of course, while I did order her to write down everyone's names, there were only 8050 people located in that house that Henrik had placed her in. But it was enough.

Knowing the statistics of Henrik's group, there were only around 15,000 members aside from the ones I gave him from my web. It was enough to have control over half of his men. Of course, I needed more, but that would be a task that I could give Miyara.

"Isame," I called out as she giggled innocently, opening her doe-like eyes with happiness before turning towards me with her hands behind her back. She wore a casual white dress without sleeves, and white sneakers that made no sound when she turned.

My eye twitched in annoyance at her choice of colour. What was she trying to tell me? That she was innocent?

I chuckled at her bubbly personality even though she was on the verge of being murdered by her friend. Was Isame naive? No, I bet she knew that I was about to order her death. She was smart yet covered her pain with smiles that I could never duplicate because she was so true to herself.

So pure and so delicate.

A piece of flower that seemed to snap just by squeezing its stem with a bit of effort.

"Firstly, I would like to thank you for your hard work," I lowered my head in respect and gratitude, sliding on a small smile despite my dark intentions. Honestly, I felt like I was some kind of hiring boss from a big company, trying to dismiss the worker because she was incompetent. Isame giggled before shaking her head and murmuring quietly with moist eyes.

"No! I am very happy that you are my friend, Sayu!"

My eyes widened at her words before they blinked back with an ironic sneer, watching something flash through her eyes without looking closer to her emotions.

"It's true, Sayu."

She whispered despite the crashing waves that swallowed all her quiet murmurings. I somehow had heard it, knowing that she was acting in order to stop me from killing her. It was a last-ditch effort, but it did not work.

"From the moment you spoke to me despite my family complex, I was thankful that you were my friend," she added.

I squinted with confusion, trying to remember exactly when in the world Isame had spoken about her family complex. In the back of my brain, I remembered Sayu walking up to Isame during middle school and extending a hand when Isame was pushed into the corner by a few classmates. Apparently, before high school, Isame had rumours surrounding her family.

I bit my lip at the memory, knowing fully that it wasn't me that helped her, but rather the real Sayu who established all her connections and was allowing me to break them into pieces. I had completely ignored Isame's background even though she was supposedly my friend who I gained when I arrived in Sayu's body.

I needed to kill her to ensure my control over people.

"Isame," I said, this time a bit firmer when I saw the tears in her eyes drop down like heavy beads. She was beginning to get annoying with her useless stalling.

"Sayu, I know-" she whispered. "I know that you can't allow me to live because you're scared. I know-but-"

"I am not scared!" I hissed out with venom at her words and squinted my eyes. "I am not scared of what you could do to me!"

Me? Scared of her betraying me? No! I'm just doing this to kill off the possibilities of her becoming a threat!

"But you're scared of the pain!" Isame cried out with her open mouth, fully disregarding her elegant and bubbly image now, her face morphed with pain as streaks of stress crossed her face.

I was baffled at how accurate her pinpoint was.

Was I actually that obvious?

"If you're doing this to try to get out of your death-"

"No!" Isame cried out loudly through the sound of waves. "It hurts, Sayu! It hurts when I see you so scared of your friends!"

My brows instantly twitched at her words, mocking her for that cringy ass line that she pulled out like we were in some kind of Korean drama. Her expression was crushed as her face flushed from her outburst. That did not stop her from croaking out with her broken voice though.

"I don't care what happens to me," she sniffled and wiped her tears away with her fingers, turning her eyes upwards at the sky before giving me a wry smile.

"I have nothing to live for, anyway."

Irritation bubbled up my stomach before I stared at her with utter frustration.

"What do you mean you have nothing to live for?!" This time I was the one who raised her voice. I stomped towards her and gripped her shoulders tightly. Shaking her in my grasp, I felt her body tremble with pain from my tightness.

"You wanted to be a teacher! I took that away from you! You wanted to get rid of the rumours that people saw on you! You're supposed to hate me!"

She stared back at me like I was a madman, but laughed at my words.

"Live for Aoiko! Miyara! Tsubame!"

"Sayu," she said with her unwavering eyes. "It's much easier to give up than continue."

Her words struck a chord within me as my own past memories echoed into my mind.

Please let it end, stop torturing me.

I don't wanna live anymore.

Please, please end my pain.

"You-" I heaved downwards as a sigh escaped my lungs, forcing me to let go of this girl who was so similar to me. Isame's chin trembled as her lips forged a squiggly line onto her face.

She still needs to die, no matter how similar she is.

The voices warned me.

Do you remember the pain? How your best friend stabbed you when you trusted her the most? The pain that she brought to you and the gazes from the adults when it was proved to be true?

Isame has to die.

She has to.

"Isame-"

"Have a bit more faith in us, coward."

Tsubame's voice echoed mischievously in my mind, blocking all the slithers and hissing from my inner voices.

Was I a coward?

Yes. Undeniably so.

I was scared of so many things.

I was scared of being loved, fearing that once someone did love me they would hurt me.

I was scared of trusting, aware of the fact that they might betray me for who I was.

I was scared of accepting people because I knew I might regret it after the pain they could put me through.

I was scared of chasing anything other than power because power would never lie to you.

But Isame and Tsubame were talking to me because they saw my fear. They wanted to break the ice because they saw how badly my twisted sense of morals were but had no idea how to address the situation. Although in a normal setting, their actions earned respect from me. Though, the person they were facing was me.

I closed my eyes and gave a small sigh, contemplating my choices. Isame was still useful no matter what. Not to mention that she could not betray me because of the Death Note. All of my concerns only stemmed from the slight possibility of what she could do.

Not to mention she did follow my instructions flawlessly, her only controlling 50 people while I had another 7050 more. She wouldn't be able to kill me unless she took me by surprise or ambushed me.

I pinched my nose bridge with my right hand.

I was too rash.

Or maybe I was doing this because I didn't want to truly kill her.

Or maybe it was because of the words that Tsubame said to me.

She would be so disappointed if I killed Isame.

I chuckled before opening my eyes to stare at the trembling little girl who was only 15 years old and had lost the motivation to live if I took her friends away from her. Her white dress on her swayed elegantly in the wind, the sun reflecting off of it despite clouds covering most of the rays.

It was no brainer that I wanted to trust someone. Being alone was too mentally exhausting for a single person to handle, not to mention you were always constantly pushed on edge by every action that they did.

It was time to take a leap in faith that I would have never imagined myself to do three months ago.

But it was scary.

Really scary when I knew what might happen if she did betray me.

"Isame, do you swear that you'll never betray me?" I uttered out with a pale face, my fingers trembling as I held them into a fist beside my body. Isame's eyes blinked wide before staring at me with shock, her mouth agape as her head shifted up and down my body as if the person in front of her was a mirage of her imagination.

"Of course," she replied airly with determined eyes. "Of course, I would never betray you against my heart."

She placed her hand on her chest sincerely, unlike those fake drama queens that you saw in TV shows. I gave her a broken chuckle before backing up my steps, stumbling back and tumbling onto my butt with a thump and a blunt pain that shot through my lower half.

"Isame, I believe you are aware that once trust is broken, it will never be replaced again?" I tilted my head, feeling my ice-cold cheeks freeze on my face as Isame nodded instantly.

"Do not," I repeated with a watchful gaze. "Do not make me regret trusting you."

"I won't," she breathed.

"Not even if my life depended on it."


"It's ironic," I smiled into the phone as Tsubame's voice grunted out a small 'why?'

Because in my original life I had nothing but scars left from humans. In this life, I had everything I wanted in the past.

"Because you guys literally can tell whatever I'm thinking of- am I that obvious?" I chuckled as I flipped over on my bed, staring hard into nothing particular.

"No, it's not that you're obvious," Tsubame said casually before I heard something shuffle at the end of her line. "You just let your guard down when you're around us."

"Excuse moi? As if you've seen me with other people before!" I huffed as Tsubame snickered quietly.

"Isame probably knows because she felt your hostility. I knew because I watched your eye muscles twitch while you glared at her."

I rolled my eyes at her words. Yes, I had a habit of twitching my eyes when I was in disbelief, yet I had purposely held back and kept note of it whenever I was in front of strangers. It was impossible for me to showcase my hostility without myself knowing unless I was actually too caught up on the fact that Isame could hurt me in some way.

"Keep this up and I'll change your name to villain, you moron."

"But I see you've already changed my name," I pointed out before hearing a small snicker from her line.

"By the way, if you actually end up achieving your whatever goal, make sure to pay me the work hours you've used me for."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Materialistic, aren't you TsuTsu?"

"In this world, money talks."

Tsubame would make a really good business partner. The idea popped into my head like a rocket launcher.

"Hey, once I own my personal companies, would you like to-"

"Anyhow, I gotta go," Tsubame cut nonchalantly before hanging up the phone like usual. I chuckled at her blunt actions, not knowing if I should feel insulted or amused before ending the call on my side. Still smiling a bit before glancing at the date on my cell phone, my whole expression shifted.

October 30, 2004.

It was time to signal Henrik to stop with the killing and go undercover.


It was only three days ago that I realized that something was terribly wrong.

"Detain her," L's voice echoed in the empty entrance of his HQ the moment Misa entered the building with a grinning Ryuk. My whole face froze as I watched Misa shriek out to Light who was not in the building, then turn to me with a pale face while reaching out her hands, only to be held down and knocked unconscious by Watari and a few others.

L's widened eyes turned to me the moment Misa tried to call out for me, realizing that I had just witnessed something that I shouldn't. The dark shade of his hair swifted in the air as he calmly addressed the situation by talking like a civilized detective.

"Sayu Yagami," L's lips pursed politely before signalizing his officers to surround me. I glanced warily before my hand twitched beside the fabric attached to my jacket that was blocking my only way of communication.

"Please follow us without any resistance," L's slouched back turned slightly towards the doorway and gestured lazily to the entrance as I slowly nodded, placing both of my hands above my head as the officers escorted my person roughly without touching me until I reached a black car.

It was surprising when I was shoved into the passenger seat by a blonde woman, stabling myself on the leather cushions before coming face to face with the great detective who, for once, was sitting like a normal person. He was studying my panic with a calm composure before Watari lightly shut the passenger's door and climbed to the front seat, Misa being held captive in the second car behind us.

"I believe the offer of your interrogation still stands," L said the statement without raising the end of his tone like a question. "Please hand over all communication devices willingly."

I shifted awkwardly in my seat as the beads of sweat-soaked my collar that was underneath the jacket. L smiled curtly at my icy fingers fluttering into my pockets, taking out my phone and holding it out to him.

"Thank you, that makes things much easier." He nodded before picking up my device with his index and thumb before throwing it roughly onto the left side of his seat that was far out of my own reach.

Silence passed in between us and nothing went down except for our own calculating gazes directed at each other.

He was staring at me like a hawk, never taking his eyes off of my face as I stared back cautiously, trying to rack my brain on the possibilities of contacting Light. The percent was close to zero.

L was going to interrogate me.

I frowned as I tried ignoring his unflinching gaze.

"I think you should explain the bare essentials of the situation before I get brutally interrogated by you?" I offered a gesture before he raised his head, staring at me quietly before blinking for the first time since he got into the car.

"It was ominous," he said while analyzing each and every facial muscle that I had. "How Misa Amane stared at me."

My face scrunched up from his words as the information processed at the back of my head, trying to match the situation with the information from the anime. I knew that he was talking about the obvious. The question was, how was he so sure that Misa had made the shinigami eye deal?

"You believe that she made the eye deal," I whipped out, not as a question but as a statement that L did not nod at, only briefly curling up his lips.

"You see, my suspicions of Light being Kira cannot be wrong. He is indefinitely Kira yet I lacked the evidence to prove it." L said.

"It is uncomfortable how Light Yagami managed to corner me into a situation where I can no longer suspect him out in public, and to the point where he is now openly watching all my movements." L lifted his body up before going back into his crouching position and placing his hands on his knees.

Ah, there it is. His normal sitting posture.

"So in order to prevent your death, you captured Misa," I said while nodding at his logic before flickering my gaze straight at him. "And I was there just at a very bad time."

This time, the glint in L's eyes danced with amusement.

"Actually, you are not correct," L replied. "I had planned to take you along with me, yet your timing was impeccable so I did it on the same day."

I made a slight 'oh' sound before sighing out a shaky breath.

It wouldn't take Light a long time before he figures that Misa and I are missing. In fact, he might as well figure it out today due to the surveillance cameras located on the floor where L's illegal actions took place. Even if L had dismantled that, it would leave a question on why the cameras were gone.

And Misa's manager would know the moment Misa did not show up to her work. They'll contact the HQ.

Light-

I trusted Light to know that L had me as captive.

I knew that L would do everything to prolong the reveal of his acts, but it wouldn't last a week. Not to mention Misa was also with me and Rem was her guardian of angel-

Wait no, Death God.

But anyhow, Rem would save her...right?

It's just a question if L would be able to break my mind into pieces before Light gets to me. My heart thudded gravely.

"Ryuzaki, I only ask that you don't kill me." I lowered my head as he twiddled both of his toes with each other before I heard a short confirmation of my life is ensured.

That day, it was my 16th birthday.