Adrien looked at the mirror, and narrowed his eyes at the reflection in front of him. He lifted his eyebrows, and smirked, Then he glowered at himself, and straightened his back with his head held high. His shoulders dropped, followed by the rest of his form, and he sunk to his knees. He rested his hand on the surface of the glass and looked critically. He felt like Alice hesitating before the 'looking-glass,' distracted by white rabbits. If only Bunnix would be such a rabbit to guide him to his future. Instead he was left to figure out his path on his own.

What would make him 'happy?'

Happiness. When was that last time he had been just purely, totally...happy?

The difficultly in answering this seemingly simple question shocked and worried him. He couldn't quite remember.

He looked around his looming bedroom that had impressed Nino and his buddies when they had surprised him with a impromptu party. That had been fun, and everything from his huge bathtub, collection of video games, basketball hoop, rock-wall, big screen TV, grand piano, to his unparalleled sound system had sure caught their attention. It was everything that a teen could want, right? The list of luxuries went on...He had a personal chief. A body guard and driver. Someone planning his days...all those days piled full with fencing, marital arts training, Chinese lessons, and modeling. He was famous, and had countless opportunities. People he didn't even know, falling all over themselves just to get him to smile their way.

He smiled at the mirror. It scowled back at him.

He looked up at the wall of windows along his room. The frames cast shadows across the wall that looked like bars in a cage. He shivered.

He remembered the days...the months...the years of being trapped in this impeccable fortress before he broke out that first day to get to school. The pressure to always, above all, 'act like an Agreste.' Maybe if there wasn't so much riding on him ensuring the success of his father's company his father might have had time to show him what exactly made an 'Agreste.' After years of trial and error, he had pretty much figured out that being an 'Agreste' meant composing himself no matter what emotions were suffocating inside. Smiling that smile to convince everyone for miles that you were not cracking underneath. Being the image of perfection, and conducting oneself with pose. He had wanted so badly to please his father, make him notice how much he loved him...he worked harder than anyone to achieve the standards his father set. He had been getting close to getting it right...but sometimes it would get to be too much...Agreste Jr. would react emotionally...unbefitting of such a surname. It was then his father would pinch his lips together, shake his head and say that he 'always did take after his mother.'

Was that really so bad?! His mother had been incredible. His eyes burned remembering the precious memories he had of her. She had a truly radiant smile. Adrien wondered if she had been happy. It would be hard to fake a smile that bright, but then again, she was an accomplished actress...

Adrien's throat felt like it was closing, and he shook his head to avoid the waves of grief that had already nearly drowned him when his mother had disappeared. If there had been happiness here, it had been striped from their family when they lost her.

Adrien turned his thoughts to his friends at school instead. He had friends! Real friends! Friends that wanted to hang out with him for who he was, not just because his name matched the brands on advertisements pasted around the city. Nino who had even stood up to his father, hoping to give him his first real Birthday party. Someone who always had his back! Actually, everyone in class had become really close over the years. Even Chloe had her moments. He had been happy in those moments getting to act like a 'regular kid.' But even then...he was frequently reminded that he was no 'ordinary kid,' his decorum even at school reflected on his family name and his brand.

Then there was Mari...he had never felt he deserved a friend like that, who always made him feel at ease and always tried so hard to help out everyone...even when it sometimes was a bit of a disaster. Adrien couldn't help but chuckle to himself. She got herself tangled up in the most bizarre ways, stumbled over words, and somehow still pulled it off. He wished he had that kind of self-assurance. She was the kind of person that seemed to know who she was...even if he couldn't always figure her out. A true 'everyday Ladybug' he thought, reminiscing about how she had helped him sneak in to try to see his mother's movie...or even the times Chat Noir had encountered her...the time he and Mari had gone to a movie after she had roped him into helping her practice her confession to her 'boyfriend who was not her boyfriend yet'...he was still trying to piece together who that could be...another memory made his cheeks flare up...the time she had confessed that she had loved Chat Noir...

That was the first time a girl had really told him she loved him...there was a happiness there...but heavily overshadowed by the regret that it hadn't been Ladybug who had confessed her feelings...and the even worse guilt and devastation that he would have to find a way to break sweet Marinette's heart by telling her he was already in love with someone else. Despite the way the whole Waredad incident made Adrien flinch at the memory, he was genuinely happy that Mari hadn't held it against Chat Noir. If anything they had just become closer over the years. She was probably the only person he could honestly say was a friend to him both with and without his mask.

His mask...The first day he had really broken away...that had been the first day he had got his miraculous. He thought about how the days of Adrien peeled away as soon as he called "Claws Out!" He would run...run as fast has he could...and he could run fast. He would leap, and spin, and be ridiculous (utterly ridiculous Chloe would have thought) around Parisian rooftops. He would look forward to those brief pockets of freedom, even if they were frequently interrupted by Shadowmoth's latest ineffective ploy to pry the source of his freedom away from him and hurt those he cared about. Yes...as Chat Noir he could be happy. With Ladybug he could be happy...

His reflection did not seem impressed, but instead looked back at him mournfully. Every happiness with Ladybug made him love her more, and the tighter he tried to hold on to her, the more she pulled away from him. It almost made it worse to know she truly cared for him with the most genuine of friendships. He treasured that, and it had made him more devoted than ever to her. He had literally died for her...and would again in a heartbeat. Isn't it tragic that the very thing that had brought them together, that had made him admire and love her with such a steadfast passion (their masks), also made an impossible barrier between them. She had told him that night on the rooftops that it could never be...even said that her heart was taken with another boy...lucky bastard...Yet he still kept hoping...hoping beyond hope, that one day she would love him the way he loved her.

He longed for her touch...even if it was just the slight brush of her shoulder against his. The way he felt a spark of joy if her hand rested a moment on his shoulder. The way he would melt when she would lean against him after a particularly hard battle. Did she feel that same electricity at his touch? No. She had grown comfortable with him as her partner, but she didn't need that connection the way he hungered for it.

She was perfect, the hero of Paris, and he got to be at her side. Didn't he know her better than anyone? Love her more than anyone? But over and over he gave her everything...and it was still never enough.

"I'll never be enough," Adrien shouted at the sullen face staring back at him.

"never..." Adrien repeated in a whisper, and then his dam of emotions that had been so tediously reinforced by all the pressures around him broke. Adrien shook with tears flooding down his face, marring his pristine façade.

Plagg phased over Adrien's shoulder but didn't interrupt. Tikki had often compared Plagg's tact to that of sharp romano, but Plagg was also the kwami of destruction. And destruction is no stranger to grief. Mourning was painful and frankly uncomfortable to witness...but it was the only path to healing. Even as one of the most infinitely powerful beings in the universe he couldn't do a thing...not a thing...except be there. So he was there.

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For those who haven't gotten to see Kuro Neko...I can't even begin to describe how devastating Adrien's face was when he gave up everything...so much emotion and pain sealed in that one episode. I started the previous chapters before that episode was released, inspired by the first teaser trailer. This chapter was inspired by that heartbreaking look...but also...by the dedication and loyalty of Plagg. I gotta say, he's my favorite, stinky cheese and all.

This chapter was also influenced by a recent discussion about mental health awareness, and how this can be a really difficult time for people at the best of times...and no one would argue that these haven't been the best of times. Miraculous episodes are bright, colorful, comedic, and often light hearted...but I think these moments that hit a deeper emotional cord (especially with Adrien), show that it is okay, not to be okay...well, maybe that is just one more reason we all love the show.

Now that our characters have been broken, I could never leave them like this...don't get burdened down readers! A new chapter is on its way where someone sees Adrien's pain and seeks out to let him know just how much he is worth...and a boost of confidence like that may trigger a whole new side of his superhero persona as well...

Off to write more for you all!