Chapter 101: How Ulfric Stormclock Wone Ullynush

It was after the liveration of Skyrim and now the pepole are hte free and that is the good. Yet there is was still matters that needeed to be solved and one of these was getting the great king Ulfric Stormclock with his Golden Saint Waifu Ullynush but Ullynush will not marry a man who cannot pass her tests and beat her in combat and as well know King Ulfric is level 50 but Ullynush is level 79. So Ulfric Stormclock held concuil with his most trusted advicsors who helped him in the civl war.

First order of business was to discuss the ongoing efforts to secure the realm, improving the way of things and Make Skyrim Great Again.

Hogni had eported he had fort of ice tribes of evil coast, Alyce reported they had made more pilshioers Stones, Unra Stoneheart had assinated impreial comaders on outsirkts of Skyrim, Little Hood and his Merry Men had been robbing Talmour patrols, Johhny Drunkparrot had raided Thalmour Boats, Bobass the Bardass had composed songs dedicated to Ulfric Stormclock

Sigard the Slayer had come back from an important task at which went as follows.

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Sigard the Slayer had was at Riverwood doing some tasks because the local shop is being raided by theives and this is what took place every night a theif would ty and rob the shop but then is killed and the next night an idical theif would try the same thing and be killered again. Soon the were piles of bodies of idendical looking theives the theroy was that they are all brothers and all identical twins and all theives but not part of the theives guild or merry men. So one tries to rob the store and gets killered so one of ther other brothers comes to rob the store and get revenge and gets killed just like the first brother so the next brother comes along to try and rob the store and get revnege for the death of his other two brothers but gets killed like the other two. So the third brother tries to rob the store and get renvhe on the death of the other two brothers and after that the fourth tries to rob the store and avnge the death of the other three and so on and so on untill there is just a pile of dead theif brothers.

This went on until one catually scucssed but only stoled the golden claw to the nodric ruins. Than the theif came out and was killed by bandits the Dark Elf one of the bandits took the claw and that is how it went.

So now the shop keeps want Sigard the Slayer to retrve the claw for them and that is his task. So he headed to the bealk fall barrows and ascorted by the woman lady at the shop and they whent thougth the town and she left him and he climbed the moutin and got to Bleak Fall Barorw whihc is 2000 meter above the gorund and than there was bandist so he werent invsiable and trew the of the moutain and killered them with this sowrds.

THan Sigard the Slayer entared the ruins and there ar bandit dudes talking about the golden claw and stuff so Sigard the Slayer killered them with stealth action. Than he headed on wards and the place mostly empty and he found some n00b bandit who prest a buddet and uleashed those darts that like do 0.000001 points of damage and it kellered them insnaley and than the Sigard the Slayer luthed to self "wow what a n00b".

Than Sigard the Slayer found out where the n00b whent rong and that is because he forgeot to try and solve the pussle beofre getting thoguht and so Sigard the Slayer solved the puzzel with his epic skills and goth thougth and found the way and whent there and Soon Sigard the Slayer came to that part where there there is the Dark Elf man who has claw and there is a gaint spider and the giant spider came down and attaclked Sigard and Sigard killered it and let Dark Elf down

So Dark Elf was all liek "foooled you" and try runaway but Sigard epiclly pwned him on the spot.

Than Sigard the Slayer had to got onwards and followed where da dark elf was the heading and he came into a crytp area and there was Draugers but he took them out whilst invasalb eand he whent pass moar traps took them out and took out moar dragurs. Than there is a hallway uphead with swining axes and I donts know how they keep swining 4ever with out breaking bevcuase Sigard got past them with his 1337 skills the Drauger try to follow but got minced.

Than it was circla corridors and Draugers were there for the killing and it only took a fewe wl placed sword blows to take em down and he killed them and made meals for the ravens and the crows. Than Sigard came to stiars that led to a water area woth mor Draugers that he carved up for the ants and Adam and that Ants and King Antenne

Than he he was at a dead ends in but than sawed where da water is was coming form and it is form a passageway with a gate over it and open gate and fllow and it took him to a cave. He flowed the cave unitl he was locking over a waterfool and platoform and tere is drauger and he is still invsiable and took out the Drauger with a throwing axe.

Than he when down to that level and found a chest a the bottem and that opend it nd went back up and followed the cave that led onwards and tere is room with big door and a druage who kills with a ivnasible stike.

Than he oped the door and was in acompletly diffrent place of the area of the bleak fall barrow and there is moar swing axes and he fot oased thoses and kiled mora Drauger who were stnaing in oil becuase Drauger are teh stupid and so he set them on fire. Sigard the Slayer the great man got to the the door that needed the golden claw and did door pussels and oped door with claw.

Than Sigard got to the main chamber and tere is was a Dragon preast came out of the tomb and this was an epci battler but Sigard had the streth of 100 men and so he did massive damage to the Dragon Preist with this attacks and dogged the atakced of the Dragon Preist and he cold also tunr ivisable nad he did this to do moare peic damage and epiclly pwned it and left.

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Titus Vulen also reported that he had saved one of Ulfrics men form vapirims and this is how it took place

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One of the Stormclocks was invested with vampires and as perosnal flavour Titus Vulen agreed to send to dude to the tirual to get him cured and sheit.

So Titus Vulen took him to fined he knows in Mortral because he this dude is a feared otucast that eveyone there hates and this apeals to Titus Vulen and so this man told Titus Vulen that he needs filled black soul gem to cure Stormclock soliger and Titus Vulen has plenty of those.

So they took the Stormclock soliger to the man at midnigth and he chanted some cured soilger. THis also counted as helping the pepole there so Titus Vulen did moar deedds such as the fighting in brawls, mining mines and choping wood and then he was made thane.

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So now it was to the main tissue at ham and was the winning of Ulfric Stormclock's wifu the golden saint warriro Ullynush but than Sigard the Slayer had to speak up and he sayeding this "Ulfric Stormclock you are isane you realsie that Ullynush sets her suitors 3 implusable challanges and if you fail but one of them you head gets choped of and thrown in an pit! I don't want Skyrim to loose its High King the man who led us to victory and idnepence because of this woman. I have delt with her before and I know of her ways. She is level 79 and you while a great wairror are only level 50"

There was than great debate amongst the great heros of Skyrim. Ulfric Stormclock made celar that he will try to gain the hand of Ullynush even if coasts him his live. So than Hogni the Furious advised that maybe he could get Sigard the Slayer to do all the comptions for him and while this might be counted as cheating noone whill know becasue Sigard the Slayer can into invasbiltiy and also Sigard know much about Ullynush and her ways so it whould gartine they wine this. Ulfric Stormclock thinked that this is acutally a great idea but Sigard the Slayer said he would only do so if he could be given the hand of Ulfric Stormclock's sistar Voriith and Ulfric agreed and this pliced Sigard wery much dn so they put it into moution and this whould enable Ulfric to marry his great waifu. So they gavered up ships and crew and Voriith had the finest clothes for them to wear at the court of Ullynush

So they had to orgnaise a way to sail to the ilsand where Ullynush lives and that place she lives in is Solstheim which is the Skyrim version of Iceland and is same size of Iceland is in real life. Now let me how assomwe Iceland is probally along with Japan the best countires on the plantet during da midievil times whent most of Europe was rtings about honrable knights fiting dragons and stiff witch is still cool and all but Iceland was still ritings about epic viking dudes and the epic viking ways and epic viking battles and vikiing dudes being total badasses who kick ass and don't give a damn because they are totla badasses and cool.

So that set sail with Sigard the Slayer as the captain and that they did so they sailed to Solstheim and there they saw the great fortress of Solstheim with many fair madens who are Golden Saints and Ulfric Stormclock asked Sigard the Slayer about them and he that did tell them that these are warriror madiens of Ullynush and that they ar to be repsecpect adn feared.

Then they spyed the beatufull women and Sigard sayed "what man would not fight through fire and thousands of men for just one of them" and Ulfric Stormclock agreed and sayed "but that maiden there is the finest of them all" and pointed to a woman dress in white and gold. THsi was then that Sigard noted "you have good eyes Ulfric for that be Ullynush herself"

Than they docked and rode out on their Stormclock warhores dressin the finest armour and weappons the gealmed in the light and had red gold and sivler and platunim and dimonds. IT was the amazings but one of the Golden Saints stoped them "you must hand over you weepons and amour and sheidls" and Hongi the Furious wasn't having any of that "never! we will never hand in our arms you will have to take them frm us" but Sigard the Slayer sayed "it is the custom here Hogni that we hand in our weapons and amour and that is what is required of us"

So they haded in their weepons and came to the court and one of the Golden Saints reported to Ullynush the pepole arived and she gave descriptsions of Ulfric Stormclock, Hongi the Furious, Alyce, Unra Stoneheart, Little Hood + Merry Men, Johhny Drunkparrot, Titus Vulen and Serena, Bobas the Bardass, Galmar, Brandon the Bard, Sigard the Slayer, The Hunter, Captain Gamli, Captain Ghoragdog, Captain Guomundr, Sakidera Tokibusuke, Jordis the Sword-Maiden, etc. Ullynush sayed "If Sigard is here that I am bound to go and meet them for I own him much and if any I would wish to marry it would be him".

So Ullynush came down and met the great heros and turned to he great Sigard the Slayer and sked him "Sigard I great you once agian and asked you what brings you to my realm?" and the great Sigard the Slayer responded "great queen you do us much honor with you greetings and finery. Though may I present the great high king of Skyrim Ulfric Stormclock who led Skyrim to indepence and one vitory against the empire. He is the greatest king in recent times and he has come to win your hand in marrige and he is willing to accpet any terms that you might give"

"You must beat me in three games and if you are to fail then all of you must die" stated Ullynush and so it was "these games would have to be something ferice if they are to test King Ulfirc" Hongi the Furious noted and Ulfric added "I would be gald to accpet what ever challange you give me and if I am to fial I would willingly loose my head".

So then Ullynush chagned into her epic Golden Saint armour that was impossing and deadly and frighitnhg and she had her speer that not even several men could lifet and while all this is happening Sigard the Slayer went bakc for his invasblity cloak and put it on.

Meanwhile Ullynush was getting moar and moar over powerred items, weepons and artifacts that Hogni the Furious was even put of by the powerful woman before them "Ulfric I think were are done for. This woman is one of the dedrea themselves she will kill us" and Galmar was regreting "I regret us coming upon this task now for such a way for the Stormclock to end who fort agianst the empire, the elves and Talos to now end at the hands of these golden saint women. I know we swore oafs but I would rather break them than see King Ulfric die like this". Than Hogni the Furious noted "I could take some down with my dragon shouts but I am not sure if evee that would even be enough. If we had but our weposn and arms than we could fight them down" and so Ullynush sayed "If they are so brave give them their weapons" and so they were given their wepons back.

The first task was to throw a gaint sheild that even the gaints of Skyrim cold not carry into the speer that Ullynush thorws and then throw the separr back. than the second was to throw a next a large bolder and it was so large that even 14 men could hardly carry it and than leap over it. "Ulfric what are you doing?! There is no way you cold do this why do you purse such a woman" noted Hogni the Furious.

So Ulfric came to the sheild he was to throw and than Sigard came to him invisalbve "It I Sigard" he wispared quitly "I will throw the spear and you go throught the motions and it will lock liek you had thorw it" so that it was said and so it was done. Sigard threw the sheidl with such actutacy that the spear whent right thoguht the sheidl on point and to all who watched it was High King Ulfric that had throuwn the sheild and so that Sigard threw the Spear back and it went even futher. "Well done King Ulfric I can see why you are the leader of the Stormclock adnth the saviour of Skyrim" Ullynush sayed but was realy real mad and threw the bolader and it when ver far and she leaped over it like better than Insae Frog Man and so than Sigard help Ulfric lift the bolder but it was Sigard who threw it and than it was he who jumped carrying King Ulfric and he Sigard jumped higher and greator than Crazy Lance Jumper.

Finally it was galloping the horse thought the fire that none could go thougth with out speical riding skills. Ullynush rode thought first and the fact is that Sigard had a legndary horse he rode his horse thought the fire invisalbe with Ulfric Stormclock on the horse as well but even faster time and even greator skills to the applouse of all watching. So Ulfric Stormclock gained the hand of Ullynush his Golden Saint Waifu.

Ullynush than sayed to her Golden Saints "let us all pay homage to the great King Ulfric and his heros" and so they did King Ulfric, the heroes and all the Sormclocks were given great honour and fine living quaters and great food and great drink. Than Sigard the Slayer apperared from the shore and pretneded that he dind't know the games were alread conuclded "Well that is fine food and drink but when are the games going to start?" and Bobas the Bardass playing along sayed "silly Sigard they have already taken place and Ulfric wone" and Sigard the Slayer sayed "well this is good news horray for King Ulfric" and it was good but than Brandon the Bard sayed "wait there was games taking place" and Ullynush sighed "silly Brandon"

Than Sigard the Slayer had to ask "so when you coming to Skyrim?" and Ullynush sayed "I will only come to Skyrim after I have gavered my belongings and gavered my Golden Saints then we shall march to Skyrim and to the great city of Windhelm"

So it was said but on later Hongi the Furious noted "what have we done? we kant just let the Golden Saints march into Windhelm what if in her rage Ullynush just decides to seze control of Whindhelm Skyrim would be done fore" and Sigard the Slayer noted "I will stop her from doing any such tihng I will fetch warriors from my homeland of Xen and is around a thosand of them. King Ulfric than sayed to him "Sigard we are greatefull of your help in both War for Freedom and this affair fetch yor warriors and if Ullynush asked tell her that it was I who sent for them".

What happends next?

Find Out Soon

To Be Countued...