My Life's Stranger Than Yours

Chaotic Kame House; Meet the Turtle Master and Student

The young Martial Artists all had their eyes fixated on the blonde woman standing in the door frame of the house. None of them could explain it, but something about her aura just put all of their instincts on edge.

All eyes turning back to Videl, they Akane, Ranma, and Shampoo each asked,

"Videl…who is that lady?"

"Who's the geezer?"

"Who is short man?"

Before Videl could answer however, the elder martial artist began to stir, drawing all the attention.

"Ehhhhh…may have been a new height record with that one…" he muttered. Straining to his feet, Roshi staggered forward, continuing to mumble. "Sand…harder than I…remember…need…softer landing…!"

As he swayed back and forth, towards the young fighter, a fully prepared Videl merely side stepped him. "Nice to see you again too Master Roshi

"Oh Videl, it's you!" at the familiar voice, Roshi quickly straightened himself up and dusted himself off while the Nerima natives could only observe with skeptical eyes.

"So this old geezer's the Legendary Master everyone's been hypin' up?" whispered Ranma.

"Videl and that short man did call him 'Master'," added Akane.

"Shampoo only hope he no like Happosai."

"What brings you to our neck of the woods?" asked Roshi as his eyes slipped past her to the trio in back. "And who are your friends?" he added with a grin as he slowly walked towards them.

"I don't like how he's looking at us…" Akane said dipping behind Ranma.

"Neither do Shampoo…" she added doing the same.

As soon as Roshi stepped past Videl, the female flyer grabbed him by the back of his collar and pulled him back in front of her.

"What, you're not gonna let an old dog introduce himself!?," Roshi exclaimed.

"You can get acquainted with them later…maybe. In the mean time, why don't you introduce yourself to the one who actually came here to see you."

"Ohhhh? And who would that be?" Roshi asked with an expectant grin.

Videl merely stepped aside putting Cologne fully in Roshi's view. The two elders paused as they sized each other up.

"You know, I'm flattered, but I'm not into women older than me."

Kathonk!

Cologne wasted no time in connecting her staff to Roshi's head. "Men." Cologne groaned.

"Mostly just him," snarked 18.

"Okay, okay," Videl interjected, getting between the two old masters. "I'm sure everyone has a lot of questions, so if we could all take a moment to calm down, I'll try and answer them as best as I can."

[A few moments later]

The group was all assembled around the table in the living room, sans 18 who was on the couch with Marron in her lap, all served with liquid refreshments.

"Allow me to introduce ourselves," Cologne began, clearing her throat. "My name is Cologne, and the three youngsters here are my Granddaughter Shampoo…" the young girl waved. "…her betrothed Ranma…" "I ain't nobody's betrothed!" "…and our acquaintance Akane."

"She's my friend who I invited on this trip," Videl interjected.

"Well then, guess it's my turn," Roshi cleared his throat. "Videl said you came here to see me, so I guess you must already be aware that I'm the master of the Turtle School, Roshi."

"I am," Cologne nodded.

'So this old Geezer's the master the old Ghoul's been hypin' up,' Ranma thought.

'He doesn't feel malicious like Happosai, but better keep my guard up,' Akane mentally noted.

"Well this old boy here is one of my former pupils Krillin," Roshi began "That blonde knockout back there is his wife Eighteen,"

"Watch it," the cyborg warned.

'Her name is Eighteen?' came the collective thought of all the Nerima fighters.

"…Hehe right…and the cute little bundle in Eighteen's lap is their daughter Marron."

The eyes of the teenage fighters were all on Marron who clung to her mother seemingly for dear life. Akane merely flashed the small girl a smile while waving at her and Shampoo followed suit. With a shy smile of her own, Marron waved back.

The same thought raced through both girls' minds. 'She's…adorable!'

Tensions eased as intros finally wound down, each side taking a moment to feel the other out. Finally the awkward silence was broken by Cologne who let out a pensive hum.

"Now I remember. The Turtle School was said to only take on two disciples at a time. So you're the one who trained alongside Son Goku," she noted.

"Wait, you know Goku!?" asked a surprised Krillin.

"Only through reputation. I've yet to meet the man myself. Though honestly, it's still flattering to be acquainted with any of the Turtle School's disciples." She replied with a grin.

"Hehe, never thought I'd meet a fan in this day and age," Krilli coyly chuckled.

"As interesting as this all is," Eighteen interjected. "I still want to know why you guys are here."

"I can answer that," Videl replied. "You see Cologne here is…sort of my teacher."

"Your teacher?" Krillin repeated.

Videl nodded her confirmation. "She's helped me learn more about this whole energy thing you guys can do."

"Wait, are you for real?"

To answer his question, Videl simply raised her hand and focused for a moment. Her hand began to glow until a sphere of energy formed. It wasn't very big, but Krillin and Roshi could tell it was compact with an impressive amount of energy…for Videl's level at least.

"Well color me impressed," praised Roshi.

"Guess training with Gohan was just a bit too distracting for ya, wasn't it?" Krillin joked.

"Not really. After I started with Cologne, Gohan started helping me out more too." Videl proudly crossed her arms. "He even showed me a move you might be pretty familiar with Krillin."

"Annnd what move would that be?"

Videl quickly put her hands to the sides of her head and smirked. Krillin's eyes widened at the familiar position. "Really? The Solar Flare?"

Videl nodded. "Getting back on track however, Cologne only agreed to train me if…I could introduce her to Master Roshi."

The room fell silent again as all eyes turned to Cologne. "Well, you got me. Now what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Roshi asked stroking his beard.

Cologne sighed. "Well first, I'd like to issue an apology."

"Apology?" came multiple voices.

"While I am incredibly honored to meet you face to face, I must admit, you're NOT the one I was hoping to find," Cologne began.

"Wait a second…if you didn't want to meet Master Roshi…then what was the whole 'Deal' thing about!?" Videl snapped.

"Truthfully…the one I really wanted to find…is the ever-elusive Fortuneteller, Baba."

"Baba?"

"Who?"

"My sister?"

Cologne nodded.

"I didn't know you had a sister Master Roshi," Videl chimed in.

"What do you mean you didn't know!? You've met her before!" the elder fighter snapped.

"I have?"

"You have!?"

"You know, the little old lady on the crystal ball with the witch hat?" Krillin described.

"Oh wait, her!?" Videl exclaimed. "She's your sister!?"

"Did you really not know that?" Roshi mused. "Well, I guess since she doesn't show up too often, it's not exactly something that'd come up in conversation I suppose."

"How…how did you encounter her!?" Cologne asked in befuddlement.

Videl hesitated to answer. "There's… a lot that isn't my story to tell. All you need to know is that I met with her briefly around the same time I met Gohan's father…though now that I think about it…if you'd have said earlier that you really wanted to meet her, I'm sure I could've gotten Goku to take you to her easily."

Cologne remained silent as embarrassment flooded her features and the sound of snickering filled the air. A certain pigtailed boy was subsequently whacked upside the head.

"Okay, so let me see if I got this straight; You wanted to meet with Baba, but you don't know where she is, so you figured Roshi would be your best bet to find her, given they're siblings." Krillin explained.

Cologne cleared her throat attempting to maintain her composure and confirmed the theory. "Yes, that's the general idea. You see, we actually used to beold acquaintances back in our youth when she visited the village a time or two. Some of our ancient Amazonian treasures would go on to serve her divination career. We'd long since lost touch but recently, I've come to need her assistance." Cologne explained.

"But for what?" asked Roshi, a menacing gleam reflecting off his shades.

Cologne narrowed her eyes at her bearded peer. "Sorry, but that's classified."

"Now you've gotten me curious," Krillin added.

"Well, don't keep us in suspense," Ranma snarked.

Cologne remained silent, her expression hardening before she finally responded. "I can't go into too much detail, or else what little life I have left will be snuffed out…"

The room grew silent as no one expected the news to be quite so…heavy. "Great Grandmother?"

"At ease child," Cologne assured. "All I can say is I need Baba's divination abilities in order to locate an EXTREMELY vital piece of our village's history. That piece also happens to be one of our most closeted secret treasures this side of one of Son-In-Law's techniques."

"What technique?" Videl whispered to the girls.

"It's a secret," they both scolded.

Roshi let out his own speculative hum as he examined Cologne, his expression unclear beneath the tints of his shades. 'She seems sincere, but I feel like there's something vital in what she's not telling us.'

"Please Master Roshi?" Videl pleaded.

"I don't know…even if I did lend you my map to her place, she probably wouldn't even help you unless you can pass her challenge," Roshi answered.

"Challenge?" everyone asked.

"Oh yeah! I remember that!" Krillin exclaimed. "You see, Baba charges a small fortune for her divinations, but she'll also do one IF you can defeat her five warriors!" he explained.

"Five warriors?"

"That's news to me," commented Eighteen.

"I'll tell ya the full story some other time, but Goku, Yamcha and I had to go through it before and it was…an experience to say the least," Krillin stammered.

Videl and the Nerima girls took a moment to take in the information while Ranma looked at Krillin with a curious eye. "What are these 'Warriors' like?" he asked.

"Well…" Krillin crossed his arms as he thought back to the trials of Baba's palace. He then paused as he remembered the first opponent he unfortunately had to face. "On second thought…I don't wanna talk about it. Roshi, you tell em', I need to go…get an ice pack…!"

Excusing himself from the table, Krillin strolled over to the freezer and stuck his head inside. "What's wrong with Daddy?" asked Marron.

"Who knows?" Eighteen replied.

"Well since Krillin's probably repressing some deep, depressing memories, guess it's up to me to take over," Roshi joked.

Clearing his throat, Roshi began. While he hadn't been aware of his friends' fight with Fangs the Vampire, he nonetheless gave a rundown of what he was familiar with. From Invisible Man through Devilman however, Roshi recounted the tale of how Yamcha and Goku (mostly Goku) took the gang down (Videl showing increased interest after learning Devilman was a previous World Martial Arts Champion). He then informed them that Baba's 5th Fighter is different from the rest of the pack. While Devilman was customarily the fifth, Baba now employs various fighters who've long since left the living world.

Though many were shocked, none were caught too off guard, what with Videl meeting Goku under the same circumstances, and Ranma, Akane and Shampoo having to battle ghosts before.

"Sounds like a blast," Ranma beamed.

"More like a bust if you ask me," Akane commented.

Shampoo shot the youngest Tendo a teasing grin. "Akane scared she no can beat warriors?"

"No, but I can sure beat you!" Akane snapped.

"Since when Akane beat Shampoo?"

SPLASH!

Tossing the contents of her glass onto the purple-haired girl, Akane smugly replied, "Just now."

The Z-Gang all did a double take as Shampoo seemed to vanish from sight.

"Wait…what just happened? Where'd Shampoo go?"

The Turtle School fighters turned to Ranma who looked to be trembling, then back at where Shampoo was only to find her clothes…something that Roshi seemed a little too eager to realize.

"Well…there's these…Ehehehe…!" as he reached for the garments, and before the others could stop him, he was swiftly slashed across the hand.

"HSSSSssssss!"

"Gaaieee!" The elder fighter yelped in pain as from the bundle of clothes came a purple kitten.

"Wait…is that…did she…she's a…!?"

"Kitty!"

Catching everyone off guard, Marron hopped out from Eighteen's lap and immediately toddled after the cursed feline. Shampoo took an instinctive leap back but eased up once Marron gently began stroking her head. Falling into the feel of the child's gentle caress, Shampoo instinctively rubbed up against her arm, urging Marron on before hopping into her arms.

Nearly everybody froze and merely stared mesmerized as Marron continued to pet Shampoo, even the ever icy Eighteen let a genuine smile flash.

"Awww…" came the collective cry of Akane, Videl and Krillin.

Breaking away from Marron, Shampoo hopped onto the table beside her grandmother. Still wanting to play, the little girl followed her in a fit of giggles.

"As cute as that was, I think we're all due for a little explanation as to what just happened," noted Eighteen.

"Uhhh…ya might wanna make that two explanations," Krillin noted. Off to the side, Ranma was doing his best Spider-Man impression and clung to the corner of the wall, shaking like a leaf.

[One Explanation Later]

"Okay…despite all we've been through over the years…I gotta admit, this one still kinda takes the cake," Roshi noted rubbing his head with his staff.

"No, what takes the cake is him," Krillin snickered, pointing at a cowering Ranma. "And I thought Goku's needle phobia was a riot."

"Wait…Goku's scared of needles!?" Videl giggled.

"Yeeup!" he laughed.

While she and Krillin continued to laugh, Eighteen strolled in placing a kettle on the table.

"So hot water reverses the curse right?" she asked.

"Correct," confirmed Cologne.

"Good, then change her back already!" Ranma exclaimed.

"On it! I gotta see this!" Krillin beamed grabbing the kettle.

"Wait don't!" Akane quickly halted him.

"Why not?"

"Because she'll be naked genius," Eighteen answered.

Krillin paused. "Oh…oh yeah." Quickly dropping the kettle, Krillin shrank back into his seat. Unbeknownst to the others, a glare shone beneath the Turtle Master's shades.

"Gee Krillin, I thought you had more class than that. Maybe you've been taking the wrong lessons from Master Roshi," Videl teased.

"Not funny!" Krillin shot back.

The Z-Women both laughed, until the younger of the two was pulled aside by Akane. "Hey Videl…what'd you mean by 'the wrong lesson'?" she whispered.

Videl paused. 'Dammit…I knew I forgot something!' she mentally cursed herself. "Yeah…I probably should've mentioned this earlier but…"

SPLASH!

"AIYAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"OHHHHHHHHHHH!"

All eyes fell on a very human, very naked Shampoo who was scrambling to cover herself as Roshi let out a loud hearty laugh as Shampoo fell off the table, face up.

Akane and Eighteen both scrambled to shield the males' eyes while Videl attempted to shield Shampoo from Roshi's gaze. She wasn't quick enough to keep Roshi from getting a full view of Shampoo from her pert bottom to her buxom chest down to her thighs as she rolled off the table in a frenzy. The erotic view was too much for the old master and his nose erupted in a red burst, spilling all over the table.

"You're making a MESS!" Killing all birds with a single stone, Eighteen dealt a swift uppercut to Roshi's chin launching and planting him through the second floor, into the roof.

"Whoa…!" Akane and Shampoo marveled.

"Impressive," Cologne noted.

"You think that's impressive? You should see her in a real fight," commented Videl.

"Pass," Eighteen deadpanned before sitting back down.

"Uhhhhh…" everything grew silent as all eyes turned to Roshi implanted in the roof. "A little help would be appreciated…" he stammered.

"Another old master…" Akane began.

"Another old pervert." Ranma finished.

[Moments later]

After Roshi got some tissue to plug up his nose, as well as bandages for his resulting injuries, he reassembled with the others in the living room.

"Well…after that whole ordeal, how can I refuse the request of these gracious ladies." Roshi guffawed. He was subsequently met with a myriad of silent glares. "Right…let me grab it for ya. Now…where'd I leave that thing…"" Excusing himself from the table, Roshi started rummaging around the kitchen.

While Roshi searched for the map

"Well…that wasn't the prettiest display of bargaining ever, but at least it all worked out in the end." Cologne sighed.

"Aiya…Shampoo feel like she need shower…."

"We'd lend you ours but…" Krillin paused.

Getting the point, Shampoo merely slumped in her seat while Ranma and Akane turned their glares to Videl who returned their gazes with a look of confusion. "What?"

"Ya really couldn't have warned us what we were dealin' with here!?" Ranma snapped.

"Sorry it just…slipped my mind," Videl shrugged.

"How does something like that slip your mind?" Akane exclaimed.

"Because despite what just happened with Shampoo, Master Roshi is nowhere near as bad as…him!" Videl crossed her arms across her chest as she began to quiver just thinking about her previous encounters with the Anything-Goes master.

Ranma raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Part of me believes you, but only because nobody can be as bad as that Old Freak."

"'Old freak'?" asked Eighteen.

"Uhhhh…you wanna let us in or is this some secret high school thing?" asked Krillin.

"They're just miffed I didn't warn them about Roshi," Videl replied.

"Can you blame them?" added Eighteen.

"No, but believe me when I say that Master Roshi's tame compared to the old perve they have to deal with on a regular basis."

"I find that hard to believe," Eighteen challenged.

"Eighteen trust me. I know how Master Roshi can be, but he's nothing compared to Happosai."

Unseen to the others, a glare shone beneath Roshi's shades as he tensed up. 'Did…did she just say…!?'

Minutes passed and Roshi finally returned with a rolled-up paper in his hand. "Well, here's the map." He said placing it on the table.

Cologne eyed the paper with eagerness seeping onto her face. "Your contribution is heavily appreciated!" as she reached for the paper, Roshi hastily swiped It back.

"Don't thank me yet!"

Cologne's eyes narrowed as Roshi tauntingly tapped the map in his hands. "I did say I'd lend you the map, but you've got to earn it first, especially if you intend to take on Baba's Challenge. I gotta make sure you kids can handle it."

"What do they have to do?" asked Cologne.

"Simple, ya just gotta take it from me," Roshi replied eagerly.

Shampoo crossed her arms and turned away from Roshi with a pout. "Hmph, Shampoo apologize to Great-Grandmother, but no way she play dirty old man game!"

"Ditto," Akane added doing the same.

"Ranma…"

The pigtailed fighter sighed. "Fine, if I must, I guess I'll save the day again…unless you'll let Videl lend me a hand?"

"I…might jump in…but I actually need to talk with Krillin first." Videl declined.

"Wha-?"

"Ya know, I understand why you don't wanna deal with the old man, but you don't gotta…"

"Remember when I said I already planned to come here before Cologne asked me?" Videl recalled.

Eighteen raised an eyebrow in confusion and interest, but Krillin confirmed it. "Oh yeah, you did say earlier you were coming to visit."

Ranma gave a dejected sigh. "Fine, I'll do it…but you owe me for this one old Ghoul!" Ranma replied.

"Use my name and I'll consider it."

"Haaaaaaa-Yagh!" Quickly darting out, Ranma reached for Roshi across the table who swayed back just outside the young boy's reach.

"You'll have to try harder than that my boy," Roshi taunted tapping the map on Ranma's forehead.

Before Ranma could retaliate, Roshi was hoisted up by the back of his shirt, courtesy of Android 18. "If you two are going to fight, do us all a favor here and take it outside." With a nigh emotionless look on her face, Eighteen threw Roshi through the door, smashing it and faceplanting him into the sand.

With a dangerous chill dipping down his spine, Ranma quickly blurted out a "Yes ma'am before chasing after the fallen elder."

"I think I'll go keep an eye on Ranma," Cologne sweat-dropped hopping out the door.

"Well, I need to get dinner started. Can you girls keep an eye on Marron for a bit?" asked Eighteen.

"Oh of course," Akane accepted.

Shampoo nodded her agreement "Shampoo no mind if Marron want play with kitty-ca-Kyaaaaa!"

Before Shampoo could finish, Akane once again poured a glass of water on her purple-haired rival. As Shampoo let out an irritated meow, she quickly calmed herself as she was picked up by Marron and gently petted on the head again. With a playful mewl, Shampoo freed herself from Marron's arms and bounded up the stairs, the small blonde eagerly following her.

"You know where to find us!" Akane called following the pair.

As the remaining three watched the girls off, Eighteen turned to Krillin and Videl. "Don't take up too much time. After all, he's got some holes in the roof to patch up."

"Wait, why do I have to fix em'? Roshi did it!" Krillin protested.

"Oh he will, you'll just be giving him a head start," with a dismissive wave, Eighteen retreated to the kitchen.

"Glad you two are doing well," Videl giggled.

"She's been pretty cheery lately since your father finally held up his end of the deal he made with Eighteen but, same ol' same ol'. Onto more current events, why exactly did you wanna talk to me?" Krillin asked. "Did Goku do something again?" he added.

"No, this doesn't have anything to do with Goku…or Gohan for that matter."

Krillin raised an interested eyebrow as Videl trailed off. "I should probably start from the beginning."

Videl went on to give a quick rundown of her encounter with Ryoga, picking the fight with him and Akane introducing her to Cologne. Her tone was upbeat to neutral for most of the tale but got notably more downtrodden as she spoke about the results of the battle.

"Well, that was an interesting story and all, but why did you have to tell me about it?" asked Krillin.

Videl paused, frustration evident on her face. "Gohan said you'd be the best person to talk to about this."

"About what?"

Videl proceeded to repeat much of what she'd said to Gohan back at school. The consistent feeling of being outmatched, like none of her progressive training amounts to anything substantial, the irritation of losing so EASILY to an opponent who on paper should be an even match. Krillin could only remain silent as Videl laid all her insecurities bare. The rant finally ended with this comment from Videl.

"Just be honest Krillin…am I just wasting my time…being a fighter?"

Krillin gave the girl a warm smile before placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Hmph…Gohan was right after all, cause I understand exactly where you're coming from Videl."

"Really?"

The ex-monk nodded. "Goku and I used to be on the same level, and now look at the guy? Meanwhile, here I am, barely able to ever win a simple sparring match with my own wife."

"Hmmm?" Eighteen shot a playfully teasing glare in their direction.

With a flinch, Krillin quickly fixed himself and kept on. "What I'm saying is, the only person who can decide if it's worth it to keep training or not is you. You said yourself, you accepted that reaching Goku's level was a goal too beyond your reach, so then you gave yourself a newer more palatable goal of at least getting onto our level. Ask yourself this, do you think that goal is too much for you to handle?"

"I…I used to think no…but after my fight with Ryoga…I'm just not sure anymore. I know he's not at the same level as you guys, but if I can't even compare to that…then what hope for me is there?"

Krillin briefly paused, seemingly confirming Videl's fear. Luckily, he was bailed out by Eighteen who'd discreetly appeared behind her husband. "It always comes back to your fight with that boy, doesn't it?"

"Eighteen?"

"No matter how much hot air a person blows, the fact remains that nobody has a perfect win streak. We all know for a fact, you've lost fights before, so what exactly makes this one so different?"

"Geeze Eighteen, couldn't you have phrased that a bit more considerately?" Krillin whispered.

"I don't know honestly…I think it's just…after how much I managed to progress and how quickly too, to have it all just be for nothing…feels like a waste of everyone's time."

"Was it really for nothing though?" Eighteen sharply replied.

"Hm?"

"At the end of the day, you did get a lot stronger right, and isn't that the point? Something Master Roshi always said is 'a true Martial Artist doesn't fight to defeat others but to surpass himself'…or herself in this case."

Videl said nothing as she mulled over Krillin's words. Finally, she could only reply with a small half smile and a simple "Thanks."

"Still…if you do want to give up fighting, I don't think anyone's going to blame you, especially since most of us have already sort of fallen down that well. I mean, just look at Yamcha…"

SWACK!

"Gah!"

"Don't mention him, aren't you supposed to be encouraging her?" Eighteen whispered in Krillin's ear.

Krillin shot Eighteen an irritated look as Videl got up from the table. "Well…speaking of Master Roshi…I better check and see what's going on with him and Ranma."

"Just tell them to hurry up. We don't have enough for a large group of people like this," Eighteen dismissed.

Videl bashfully chuckled as she strode towards the door only to let out a shriek and dash aside as the elder in question came flying in, blood spurting from his nose and a footprint on his face.

"Roshi!?" Krillin darted towards his old teacher.

From upstairs, Akane darted down with Marron and the still Cat-Shampoo close behind. "What the heck was that!?"

Videl narrowed her eyes. "I've got a pretty good idea." Her suspicions were confirmed as she peered out the now broken door only to find a familiar red-haired girl standing triumphantly with Roshi's map in hand.

"Every. Time!" the girl giggled as she dashed through the door. "By the way Cologne, you're welcome. Now let's grab the girls and get out of…" Ranma paused as she realized Krillin, 18, and Marron were all staring at her.

"Uhhh Videl…is she a friend of yours too?" Krillin asked pointing at the new guest.

"Whatcha mean shorty, it's me, Ranma!" the redhead introduced herself.

"Wait…WHAT!?"

[A short explanation later]

"So it's the same thing as Shampoo?"

"Yup."

"So hot water…"

"Cutting off the question, Ranma grabbed the kettle on the table and poured it over herself, changing back to male form."

An impressionable Marron clapped as if it were a magic trick while Krillin and Eighteen both remained silent. Eighteen merely shrugged and accepted the news rather nonchalantly while Krillin seemed to be somewhat short-circuiting.

"Okay…I have no idea why I'm surprised…but…I'm still having a bit of trouble processing this…" he stammered.

"Well…Goku compared it to an old friend of his named…Lunch I think it was…?" Videl recalled.

Krillin's expression nigh instantly cleared up. "You know what…I can see that. Makes sense now," with a similarly dismissive shrug, Krillin accepted it and decided to move on.

"Seriously, who the heck is Launch…or Lunch…or whatever the name was?" Videl muttered.

"Okay, now that we're done with series specific story cliches, I got the map!" Ranma announced victoriously.

"…Should we even bother asking how? Akane deadpanned.

"Why not? I wanna know." Krillin interjected.

"It's nothing Son-in-Law hasn't pulled before," Cologne sighed.

[A few moments earlier]

Ranma dashed out of the house to meet with a Roshi who was dusting himself off after getting tossed by Eighteen. Ranma, taking advantage of the positioning, tried to slp over and swipe the map, but Roshi quickly zipped away, his guard still up.

"Do ya really think it's going to be that easy My Boy?" Roshi taunted.

"Ehhh…50-50," Ranma shrugged.

"RANMA!" came the hasty shriek of Cologne. "You and I both know you have a method to end this in an instant. Don't waste time and get that map!"

"Hey lay off would ya!" Ranma snapped back. "I figured you of all people would wanna see this 'Legendary' master in action. Besides, I wanna see what the guy who trained Gohan's old man is made of!"

Cologne sighed. "Fine, have your little game, but I swear if you don't get that map…!"

'Geeze, why does she want it so badly?' Ranma mused.

"Well…if you're so eager to see what the Turtle School has to offer my boy, then I guess I can school you!" Roshi taunted taking a fighting stance; the map in one hand, his staff in the other.

With a confident smirk, Ranma dashed at Roshi his hands poised to strike. "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!"

Ranma threw his hands forward in a mach speed volley. To the young fighter's surprise, Roshi brought his staff forward and spun it in place easily deflecting his strikes. Switching tactics, Ranma attempted to trip his opponent up with a sweeping kick. Roshi merely hopped over the strike and countered with a hard knock to the head courtesy of his staff.

"Gaow!"

While Ranma was still recovering, Roshi held his staff sideways and swung it like a bat, striking Ranma upside the head and launching him into the ocean.

"You've got some impressive speed, I'll give you that, but you've really need to try and be less predictable," Roshi chided.

"Is that so?" replied an unfamiliar voice.

"Ehhh?" Roshi turned to where Ranma had landed only to come face to face with a busty young red-haired girl, dripping with water from the ocean, slowly stride towards him. "Wai-!? Heha…who…who are-!?" Roshi was dumbstruck as countless thoughts filled his head, but many of the more logical ones were drowned out by the sight of the bundle of curves protruding from his 'opponent's' torso.

"If you thought I was fast before, then check out my speed now!"

The red-haired girl leapt at Roshi with a diving kick, but the elder who was starting to regain his senses, backstepped the attack avoiding it. True to her word, she was able to follow up with a much faster attack by launching herself at Roshi's face striking with a double kick.

Roshi bent over backwards to avoid the attack and pivoted around when he noticed the girl reach for the map he was holding. It was then it all started clicking for the Turtle Master.

"So…you've got the same kind of curse as that Shampoo girl, eh Ranma?" Roshi guessed.

"Guilty as charged Ranma confirmed, and this time, I'm gonna get that map if it's the last thing I do!" she declared.

"I'll admit, you've certainly shifted into top gear with your transformation, but you're still too slow to keep up with this old dog," Roshi taunted.

"I don't need to," Ranma proclaimed. "You said I should be more unpredictable, right? Well tell me Old Man, did you see THIS coming!?" In an instant, Ranma pulled the front of her shirt aside revealing her ample bust to the elder's eyes and that was it for him. His eyes shattered through his shades as a stream of blood gushed from his nose. Before he could fully process the situation, he was met with a foot to the face, launching him back through the door, the map being discarded on impact.

"Why do they always make it so easy?"

[End Flashback]

Krillin crossed his arms with a contemplative look on his face while 18, who'd been listening from the kitchen could only facepalm and give a disapproving huff. "Unbelievable."

"I know right?" Akane added. "Ranma, you've GOT to stop flashing people all the time!"

"I don't do it all the time…and I'll stop when it stops working." Ranma's triumphant laugh was silenced when he was unceremoniously grabbed by the pigtail courtesy of a none-too pleased Android 18.

"Dow…watch the hair…!"

"You think that's funny? At the risk of sounding like Chi-Chi, do you have any shame at all?" Eighteen snarled.

"I…" Ranma could only stammer as he shrunk under the deadly blonde's icy glare. Thankfully, he was rescued by her husband.

"Hey, don't go too hard on the kid…after all, Bulma used to pull the same kinda stunts all the time when we were their age," Krillin informed.

'Wait, what!?' Videl inwardly exclaimed.

"…Are you serious?" Eighteen asked in disbelief while loosening her hold on Ranma.

"Me, Roshi, and Goku can confirm," Krillin doubled down.

"Ohhhh yeah…I remember…" Roshi guffawed as he slowly picked himself up. "Dehehehe…ahahaha…!"

'Bwop!'

Roshi's laughter was silenced by Eighteen pointing her palm in his face. "Deee…! Okay, I'll stop."

"That's what I thought." Having seen and heard enough, Eighteen went over to Akane's side taking Marron up in her arms. "If you want dinner, either get in there yourselves or call me after this meeting's over. We're taking a break." The mother-daughter pair then retreated up the stairs.

"Well…she seems…fun…" Akane commented.

"Hey, she's a lot more pleasant once you get to know her. I think all the extra uninvited guests just sort of rubbed her the wrong way," Krillin dismissed.

"Well, she can rest easy since we'll be leaving soon. We have the information we came for, and regardless, it truly was an honor to meet a couple of distinguished names in the old Martial Artist community," Cologne respectfully closed.

Roshi rubbed his head with his staff. "Well, a deal's a deal so I'll lend you the map, but I do have to say, that wasn't exactly the most honest way to pass the test," he turned to Ranma with a displeased look.

A smug Ranma shrugged. "Hey, where I come from, anything goes."

Roshi hung his head in disdain. "That certainly sounds like something one of old Happy's boys would say."

Ranma, Akane, and Videl all froze.

"'Happy's boys?'" Videl repeated.

"Wait…you know Happosai?" asked Akane.

Roshi only grunted his confirmation.

"I suppose it shouldn't be so surprising since you two seem to be cut from the same cloth," Cologne teased.

Roshi stroked his beard. "We may have similar interests, but I can assure you, we couldn't be any more different when it comes to our values as Martial Artists."

"I'm gettin' the feeling you and the freak ain't too fond of each other," said Ranma.

"That's putting it lightly, but let's just call it a clashing of ideals and leave it at that," Roshi said in a threateningly serious tone.

"I'll be honest, I was quite shocked to hear Videl mention that little gremlin. The only reason I issued the challenge for the map in the first place is because I was curious if one or more of you were students of his."

"And you couldn't have just asked, why?" noted Akane.

"Actions speak louder than words, Ms. Tendo," Cologne interjected. "Is that it?"

"More or less. I figured I could learn everything I needed by judging the way you kids fight, but your friend over there made it rather difficult," Roshi motioned to Ranma.

"Well to answer your question Gramps, neither me or Akane are students of that freak," Ranma finally answered. "He trained my old man and Akane's old man back in their days, but he ain't taught me a damn thing…well…nothing useful."

Roshi stroked his beard. "Hmm…I figured as much. I could certainly see inklings of Happy's style with the way you decided to 'beat me', but you seemed too eager to fight me for real to be taught by him directly."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Hey, I only pulled that stunt cause like ya said, you and the Freak have the same 'Interests' and that trick ALWAYS works on him."

Roshi bashfully chuckled. "Well, ya got me there kid. Guess I've only myself to blame for that one."

"Yeah, but I'll say this much, I actually think you're alright Old Man," Ranma complimented. "You're still kind of a freak, but Videl was kinda right when she said you're nowhere near as bad as The Freak, so if you're in the mood, I wouldn't mind playing your game again…legit this time."

Roshi's expression became more relaxed at Ranma's challenge. "Now that's what I like to hear, but fair warning; if you really want a rematch kid, you'd better bring your A-Game cause next time, I intend to give you a full course on what the Turtle School has to offer!"

"Lookin' forward to it." Ranma accepted pounding his fist in his hand.

As the eager fighters stared each other down, their challenging gazes were broken by Videl. "Sorry to burst your bubble you two, but it's starting to get late," she noted pointing towards the sun.

"Indeed. We'd better return to the Cat Café before the dinner rush begins," said Cologne.

"Yo, can you make somethin' for us too?" Asked Ranma. "We don't want Akane to get any bright ideas about cooking tonight."

The tomboy fighter's response was to chuck the still feline Shampoo at her pigtailed houseguest, watching his fearful scramble with a smug eye. The other onlookers, sans Cologne all chuckled at Ranma's expense.

[A few moments later]

The Nerima Fighters were once again assembled in Videl's jet, waiting for her to finish her goodbyes.

"Well, sorry we kind of took over your night," Videl sheepishly apologized.

"If you're still concerned about Eighteen, don't sweat it. It was kind of fun to meet more legitimate Earthling fighters outside of our little friend circle. Kind of gives me hope," Krillin replied.

"I'll say, it certainly does remind me of the days before all this Super Saiyan business and what not." Roshi added. "Then again…I guess there always have been inhuman fighters out there in some way shape or form."

"I guess," Videl bashfully responded. 'But how many of them could straight up demolish a town?'

"Videl." Roshi said sternly.

"Yes?"

"Krillin told me about why you originally decided to visit, and I'd like to leave my two cents: No matter how strong you may get, there will always be someone stronger, but don't let it discourage you. Instead, use it as a motivator to push yourself even further. After all, it's worked wonders for Goku."

Videl gave a hesitant but understanding nod before she was called to by Ranma. "Yo Videl, you done yet!? The sun's startin' to go down for real!"

"Thanks for the advice guys. I'll try to keep it in mind." On that note, Videl hopped into the plane and while waving the two off, raised it into the air. From the top floor of Kame House, Marron could be seen waving them off too, Eighteen beside her with a small smile. Returning the gesture, the plane then took off into the sunset.

'Use it as a motivator huh? Hard to stay motivated when every success just leads to more failure…'

"A true Martial Artist doesn't defeat others, but himself…or herself in this case."

"Videl?"

"Huh?"

"Are you alright? You looked a little…out of it for a second," asked a concerned Akane.

"I'm fine…just a little tired.," Videl dismissed.

"Well you kids better get as much rest as you can, because we're going for Baba's palace in two days, right when school lets out for you," Cologne informed.

"Speaking of…if the Old Witch lady has five fighters, aren't we short one?" Ranma noted.

"Maybe we ask Fly Girl Boyfriend to join?" Shampoo suggested.

Videl nodded. "Not a good idea. I doubt Baba would let us go through with the challenge if Gohan's involved. It'd be too easy."

Ranma's expression flattened. "Geeze, I know Gohan's a tough guy, but don't you think you're hyping him up a bit much there?"

"Twenty Zeni says that Baba says the same thing when we meet her," Videl challenged.

"You're on."

"Well, even if Gohan doesn't join us, we still have options, don't we?" Videl noted. "What about Ryoga again?"

"You wanna find that walking broken compass in two days, be my guest," joked Ranma.

"We'll worry about that when the time comes. For now, just focus on conserving your strength, because if Kamesennin's words ring true, these upcoming battles will be tough."

[Meanwhile back at Kame House]

Roshi and Krillin remained on the beach until Videl's aircraft was fully out of sight. As they retreated back inside, Roshi let out a sigh. "To think…I'd meet acquaintances of Happosai in this day and age."

"Geeze, you really don't like this guy, do you?" asked Krillin.

"Ripping on that little imp was one of the few times that old Crane and I actually got along," Roshi replied.

"Wow…what'd he do to make you hate him that much?"

"That's a story for another time my boy. I'm in too good a mood right now to try and spoil it thinking about him…though I admit I am curious on what he's up to now."

[Elsewhere]

A diminutive man, even shorter than Krillin stood atop a shadowy cliffside. In his hands he held a simple newspaper with a picture of a man in a cape and helmet and a short-haired young girl. Clutching the print in his hand, the tiny man let out an angered grunt before crumpling it up and tossing it behind him. Instead of hitting the ground, the litter was caught by another, much taller figure who spontaneously appeared behind the small man.

"Ahhh, so you decided to show up after all," came the raspy voice of the shorter man.

Stepping out of the shadows, the taller figure revealed itself as a young man, no older than late adolescence clad in a hooded cloak. "Why did you call me here, old man?"

"Son…I've got a proposition for you."

(A/N: This Chapter was surprisingly difficult to write. Maybe I tried to set too many things in motion at once, but I still tried to keep things interesting amongst all the set-up and exposition. Roshi's a character I'm not a huge fan of, but I don't hate him. I've only written Roshi once before this (technically it was concurrently alongside this) and given the nature of Ranma as a series, I truly wanted to try and find that balance between the wise old mentor and the jokey old pervert. [Also, can we take a moment to agree that Happosai is the worst perverted anime character ever? MHA fans rip on Mineta, but aside from being just kind of annoying at times, he doesn't actively make things worse for the characters and he always gets punished when he acts up. Happosai takes all the worst aspects of anime perverts and cranks them to 12] Anyways, Cologne wanted to find Roshi to get to Baba. I think a couple of regulars here figured that out sooner, but I'll have to double check. The next two challenges are, guess what Cologne wants to find and who was with the 'Old Man' at the end of this chapter. Next time, Videl and the Nerima gang take on Baba's Palace, and hopefully, the latter manages to find some truth in Krillin and Roshi's words. Let's revitalize that fighting spirit.)