"Well now. That ain't something you see every day."
Johnny stared wide-eyed at the ruins before him. It was a mess of old temples and pathways, built with worn yellow brick and white clay. Much of it was covered in grass after only Gaea knew how long, though some of was still surprisingly intact. Tall white pillars dotted the landscape, along with small pools and lakes that submerged the lower parts of the ruins. And in front of each temple was a gigantic statue, all depicting a mighty warrior with a ridged lantern jaw raising his sword toward the heavens. It was grand. It was triumphant. It was—
"Not Mobian."
Johnny turned to Rotor, wondering just what he was going on about. "Not what now?"
"I mean, none of those statues are of Mobians. Or humans for that matter. You'd think it'd be one or the other, but instead it's neither."
"How can you be so sure?" said Chirps. Chirps had been standing at the edge of the ruins along with everyone else. Mina had been fidgeting with her hairband while Shortfuse was wondering why they weren't bashing something in already. Big was busy tending to Froggy, doing his best to keep him from diving into the water and getting himself lost in its' depths. And Sticks was kneeling profusely to whatever non-existent water Gods that may or may not have been living in the waters. ("Oh dear watery God of watery water, hear my pitifully poor excuse for a plea!") Suffice to say, it was business as usual.
"I mean," he said, "for all you know, all these things (which are some of the most obscene tributes to masturbation I've seen, just look at those swords,) could just be some sort of Mobian we've never seen. Maybe there were some kinds of Mobians that died out centuries ago and that's why we've never seen any like these ones."
"Maybe," said Rotor. "But I'm not so sure. And I always want to be sure. It just feels off to me somehow."
Sticks, finally done with her praying, looked up to see the statue for the first time. And promptly fell back down on the ground with horror.
"OH GAEA! Run for the hills! It's the aliens! They've come to suck out your souls and use 'em as ink for their cookbooks! IT'S A COOKBOOK!"
Shortfuse promptly cracked his knuckles. "Hey, if someone doesn't shut her up, can I volunteer? Hell, scratch that; I'll volunteer anyway."
"Well," said Mina, "maybe they are aliens. I mean, they don't really look like any Mobian I've seen."
"Same," said Big. "But somethin' tells me this REALLY shouldn't be our priority. Don't we got a village to save?"
"What village?" said Shortfuse. "Far as I can see, this whole place fell apart ages ago. You really think someone's gonna live in this dump?"
Johnny polished his new staff until it gleamed in the sunlight, like a bright reflection. "According to Sally and Harvey, someone is. Managed to get in touch with them a few weeks ago. Said they'd be willing to help any way they could. Though they really seemed insistent on getting something in return. Anything really. Hell, according to Sally, it almost felt like they were trying to guilt trip 'em."
"Seriously?" said Chirps. "Everyone's tryin' to keep themselves alive and someone wants to give us a pity party? I mean, what are they expecting to get out of it? Mobian Guilt?"
"I don't know. All I know is that apparently they're in Eggman's crosshairs if only because they won't bother to move anywhere else without someone guarding them, and they don't seem too keen on fighting. If they were, we wouldn't be in this mess."
Rotor tapped his goggles, making sure they were in tip-top shape. "I don't know. Something tells me we would've been sent here anyway. I think there might be something in here. Something Eggman and co want. Granted, it's a bit of a jump at this point, but I still think something's up."
"Well, I can't blame you," said Johnny. "This ain't exactly sunshine and lollipops. But I think it's bit early to say that's the reason they're here. Wouldn't put it past 'em though."
"I say," said Big, "we just keep our eyes peeled. Anything that happens, happens. And we'll deal with it when it does."
"Works for me," said Johnny.
Just then, Johnny could hear something rustling in the bushes. He held up a deft hand, motioning everyone to stand still as a post. The bushes continued to rustle and shake, and whispers could be heard from within. After a moment, they suddenly went quiet. The same could have been said of everyone else. No-one made so much as a peep or even tip-toed. It was dead silence all around. Until someone broke it.
"Uh, think they're gone yet?" said Mina. As if on cue, the bushes erupted with a vengeance. Rushing through the leaves was a small horde of ring-tailed lemurs, all wearing nothing but leaves and old tribal dress.
"OH, GAEA!" said Sticks. "IT'S THE CURSE OF THE BUSHY LEMURS! SPAWNED FROM THE BUSHY BUSHES OF , THEY'LL STOP AT NOTHING UNTIL THEY KILL US ALL!"
As if to prove her wrong, the Lemurs stopped themselves in an instant. They stood right in front of Johnny and the others, their big eyes almost starting him down. "Uh, easy there," said Johnny. "We come in peace. You guys have a leader, right? We really want to speak to him. Is he around?"
After a moment, a lemur slightly taller from the others shuffled through the crowd. He bumped into some of the other lemurs and knocked over a few others, but before long, he had made his way to the front. He was wearing some sort of wooden and grass crown, but unlike the other Lemurs, he didn't seem to be very on edge. In fact, he seemed rather relaxed. Overwhelmingly so.
"Hey there!" His voice was laid back and calm to a fault, almost sounding like he was hosting a party. "How ya' doin'? Sorry to startle ya, but we had to be sure you weren't gonna kill us or anything. We're so very sorry if we scared you. If there's any way we can make it up to you, just let us know."
Everyone was taken aback. The other lemurs had been one thing, but somehow, this was another. He seemed less like a chief and more like a talent agent in his disposition. Still, he seemed harmless enough. "Hey there. My name's Johnny and these are the Freedom Fighters. Sally told you about us, right?"
"Yup!" said the chief. "And she also told us there's a bunch of robots coming this way to kill us. This has gotta be the first time we ever got a message through a Flicky! That's somethin', let me tell ya."
"Right. So, you people live here?"
"Yup! Our people have been here for the last couple thousand years. Course, we've managed to keep ourselves a secret from everyone else up till now, but as they say, times change. The wheel was a-turnin', and we could feel it. If we didn't do somethin', we were goners. So we sent someone out to make contact with the rest of the world. And they did not disappoint!"
Mina adjusted her hairband, making sure it was properly placed. "Uh, sure! Thanks. I guess."
"In any case, I don't think I've introduced myself. My name's Chief Gogoba, and this here is the Gogoba tribe. In any case, we've already got some people ready to evacuate. Everyone else is gonna stay and do their part. It's the least we can do."
"I appreciate that," said Johnny. "We need all the help we can get."
The Chief raised his finger as if to say 'But.' "That said. We've still got some clothes and supplies back in the village and we were so focused on getting here that we completely forgot about them. We'd get 'em ourselves, but going there and back would be such an inconvenience, and some of us have some REALLY bad backs. Do you think you could go over and get 'em for us? It's the least you could do."
Things were starting to get a wee bit fishy. "Sorry," said Johhny, "but this isn't the best place to be talkin' bout that sort of thing."
"If you say so," said the Chief. "Just figured I should ask. It was worth a shot. That said, it could take a while to evacuate, and we might not be fast enough. Do you think you could personally help us move somewhere safe and sound? I'm sure you have so much else to do, but we've never really done something like this before and we would be so scared and confused without someone to get us there. Might even accidentally drown ourselves in the river, we're so helpless. Just sayin'."
Johnny was beginning to wonder if perhaps these Gogoba's or whatever they called themselves were the victims of water poisoning. Either way, either they thought they were all idiots or they themselves were idiots. Not that they wouldn't mind helping, but the way the Gogoba's were going about asking for that help was nothing short of guilt-tripping.
"Oh!" said the Chief, as if remembering something essential. "And do you think you could scratch my back while you're at it? It's really tough to get there sometimes, and if I don't get it soon, I might get so depressed that I'll just stab myself in the chest and get it over with! If you don't mind, it'd really help me ease up a bit!"
Just then, Chirps stepped forward. "Allow me, boss." He glared at the Gogoba's, looking them straight in their eyes while smiling like the devil. "You know, there's any number of things I could do right now. I could try to beat you at your own game. Say I had a bad ankle or a cramp. Maybe my arm's broken. Hell, maybe even that Eggman showed up out of the blue and we needed all the help we could get. But I ain't gonna stoop to your level. Instead, I'm just gonna make thing nice and simple."
Chirps raised his hand upward. Several spears of stone shot out of the ground in the space of a wink, surrounding the Golgobas before sinking back into the earth the way they came. "Cut the crap or else you're gonna be wondering what you should really be tryin' to save yourselves from. Got me?"
The Chief gulped, most of his words lost in his throat. He was only able to get two out, but even they were muddled by a sheer sense of fear and dread. "Yes, sir."
"Good. Everyone who's planning on evacuating, get yourselves ready to go. Everyone else, just pay attention and you won't have a thing to worry about. From them or me. Understand?"
"Perfectly."
"Good. Glad we had this talk. He walked back over to Johnny and the others, not really caring whether or not they approved of his strong-arm tactics. For the record, Johnny did not.
"You didn't need to go that far," he said.
"Same here," said Big. "You might as well've just pointed a gun at'em and told 'em to do things your way or else. That's not really gonna make 'em learn why what they're doin' is wrong. Just that a big scary Mobian might skewer 'em if they don't do what he says.
"It got 'em in line, didn't it?" said Chirps. Besides, you're the one who said to show 'em the real me. I'm doing just that."
"Yeah, maybe I should've rephrased that."
"Hey, if we're done," said Rotor, "do you think we could get a move on? The more time we waste here, the less time we have to evacuate and get ready.
"Yeah," said Johnny. "Guess we'll just have to make do." He turned to the Gogoba's, his mind completely on the mission. "So in case you couldn't tell, we don't much care for people putzing around or wasting our time. With that said, are you gonna help, or are we gonna have to take drastic measures?"
The Chief looked at Johnny and Chirps for the longest time before shrugging his shoulders in defeat. "You've got me! Sorry about that whole guilt-tripping nonsense. Old habits die hard."
"Uh, so, are you gonna go evacuate?" said Mina. "Without any guilt-tripping? Because I think that's a no-no. Or maybe that's just me?"
"Hold on a minute." Like a rising flower, Johnny's ears picked up. He could hear something in the distance. Several something's. They weren't all that fast, but they were loud, and they were getting closer.
"You hear something?" said Mina.
"Yeah," said Johnny. "Somethin's comin' this way. Probably Eggman's forces. Maybe some convoys."
"I'm hearin' them too," said Big, his long ears twitching as much as Johnny's were. "There's a lot of 'em."
"Does this mean we can stop twiddling our thumbs and go kick some ass?" said Shortfuse.
"It means we get as many people out of here as we can," said Johnny. He turned to the Gogoba's. 'Everyone evacuating, form one line to the left. Everyone staying, to the right." Almost unanimously, nearly every single Gogoba moved to the left, with only a few nervous Gogobas staying behind on the right. Most notably, the line on the left included the Chief, front and center.
"So you're all just gonna turn tail and run?" said Chirps. "Fine by me. Just didn't think so many of you were yellow."
Johnny placed his hand on Chirps' shoulder, letting him know the score. "Chirps. I know where you're comin' from, but this isn't the time. Understand me?" He turned back to the Gogoba's. "You all want to leave, I'm not stopping you. After all, we're here to keep you guys safe. But we also need all the help we can get. If any of you can fight, if you've got spears, swords, anything, well, every little bit counts."
The Chief twiddled his thumbs, as though the very thought of being asked to help made him nervous beyond belief. "Ah, well, we'd love to help, really, we would, but a lot of us have such bad cases of anxiety's, we'd probably have a heart attack or something the second we set foot in there. But if you want a bunch of corpses on your conscience, we'd be happy to oblige."
"Let 'em go, kid," said Big to Johnny. "They wanna run, let 'em run. We'll just have to make do."
"Thank you kindly," said the Chief. "Really, I mean that."
"That said, it sure would be a shame if somethin' happened."
That got the Chief's attention. "Come again?"
"Well, I'm just sayin', I don't know if even all of us together is gonna be enough to hold off all of Eggman's forces here. Not this time. And if we go down, it won't be long before they come after all'a you. If we had just a bit more help, maybe we could even the odds, but I guess we'll have to settle for what we've got. Anyway, good luck to ya!"
After a moment, more than half of the Gogobas ran over to the left, leaving only the children, their mothers, and the Chief.
Shotfuse whistled as though he could scarcely believe it. "Well, would ya look at that? Guess some of you got stones after all."
The Chief began to shake and cower, as though he were wondering if trying to run away from the battle of their lives was indeed the best choice. "Uh, well. I guess you've got some help after all. How about that?"
"How about that," said Chirps. "That really just leaves you. Or are you gonna let your people fight all alone? 'Bill, where's the Chief?!' 'I don't know, Bob, I think he's busy sipping a martini in Casinopolis!' Is that really what you wanna down as?"
"But—"
"But nothin'! Under ordinary circumstances, leavin' would be one thing, but this is war! And in a war, everyone needs to do their part or everyone's gonna kick it. And the warriors need their chief. Understand me?"
The Chief stuttered and started, not really sure what to say as if he were some ordinary peasant put on trial. But after a moment, he stopped. And he saw his image in one of the pools of water scattered around the ruins. And he saw what he had become. And in that moment, he remembered what he used to be.
His back straightened. His gaze hardened. And his expression did so as well. It was almost as if he were a changed Mobian. For better or worse. "Men! Go get the weapons from the tents! We're staying! For are we or are not the Gogoba's?!"
At first, the men weren't sure what to think. They stuttered and started, wondering if this was the king that had led them all these years. But after a moment, they realized that it wasn't that king. It was the king that used to lead them. The king that had led them to victory time and again. The king of old. And they remembered who THEY used to be. And as if unison, they all pumped their fists into the air and shouted in joy to the heavens.
For her part, Sticks did the same. "WHOO! GO GOGOBA'S! HECK YEAH! Psst! What's a Gogoba?"
"Right,' said Johnny. "Mina?"
"Got it!" In the wink of an eye, Mina and the remaining line were gone in a flash, presumably to somewhere safe.
"Everyone ready?" said Johnny.
"We're with you!" said the Chief of the Gogobas, his legs knocking. "Though to be honest, I haven't done this in a while."
"Hey, you'll be fine," said Big. "Just leave the grunt work to us."
Just then, the sounds of the convoys' engines became louder. They were gaining speed and intensity and growing ever closer.
"That don't sound good," said Sticks.
"Maybe," said Johnny. "But we've got the advantage. You see that stretch of land over there?" He pointed towards a stretch of long, wet grass in the direction the noises were coming from. There were deep pools of water on each side, and the width of the land that was still above water was just large enough for one truck.
"Talk about serendipity," said Chirps. "They've got to come in one at a time. Either that or they'll have to park and come out on foot. Either way…"
"They'll be fish in a barrel."
"Really?!" said Sticks. "I love fishies! They're so cute and tasty! Can't say the same about catfish though. Have you seen those whiskers? That ain't natural. In fact—"
"Sticks, not the time," said Johnny.
"Oh! Right. Serious. I can do serious. I'm always serious. Just don't blame me if one of those things sucks your brain out when you're not looking, I'm tellin' ya!"
"That's funny," said Shortfuse, "because I don't think you've even got a brain for them to suck!"
"Everyone," said Johnny, "QUIET!" Everyone was suddenly as silent as the grave. And so were the engines. They were as quiet as a mouse. And that meant only one thing.
"They're here."
