Congrats to your birthday Touka! Imagining a scenario between black haired Neki and Touka is both amusing and dangerous on Touka's part

AU KaneTouka:

Kenny cycle 2:Ahhh shit...ok dont panic. To think Toukas birthday-

Touka cycle 2:Calm down mute. You had about 4 weeks or so to figure out a present in a boyfriend sense

Kenny cycle 2:That only makes it worse

Touka cycle 2:*grabs Kens head making his eyes close twitching*You had all that time to get something simple for me wimp. I have more important things to worry about without you mumbling to yourself about things you can easily handle.

Kenny cycle 2:*grabs Touka arm with his hands*Can you at least loosen your grip? I need to make it count and I'd hate for things to get screwed up horribly

Touka cycle 2: Oy...vey. You had until July 1st so don't worry so damn much. Just remember gift as a boyfriend not friend. Right now, I'm not sure how good a couple we are. 1st attempts are never the greatest

Kenny cycle 2:Can't we talk like normal? My head is killing me

Getting back to story logic...

Going by Pokemon weights makes it easier to a point(it'd be easier to make him seem lighter if he were a pokemon trainer...hmmmm hard to choose perfect starting gain weight)

Hide's anime weight is equivalent to Heatmor and Smeargle 127.9lbs
Hide's updated weight is equivalent to Gligar 142.9lbs(feels safer if weight only links to 1 pokemon)
...a literal 15lb gain in Pokemon terms

"Scrap booking the results would make it super weird on our part." says Hide.

"Proof is on your phone." says Ken.

"I mostly take-took pictures of you-the you that isn't you." says Hide awkwardly smiling.

"No, no, buying me a phone so I can have pictures of you. Scrap booking will be for pictures of both of us." says Ken.

"Isn't that what messenger is for?" wonders Hide.

Ken gave off an irritated look before handing him the scale with one of his kagune tentacles and pushed him out of the room.

"Be it a good thing or bad thing, it's all the same to me." says Ken to noone in particular.

Bathroom...

After searching for a loose leaf piece of paper and pen, he jotted his name down and the words 'starting weight:127lbs(his slim fit self)'. Hide looked at the bathroom door partially wanting to see if Ken followed him. He huffed setting the scale on the floor to step on it. Waiting for the number to appear, Hide glanced at the paper and pen mentally face palming that he should've used his phone. He technically still could but Ken would have to keep the paper in a safe place.

Looking back down at the scale, he noticed it stopped at 142lbs gaining 15 pounds which was a 5 pound deduction from the 20 pounds Ken thought he let him gain. He kept staring as if zoning out before snapping himself back to reality mentally noting how much he let himself eat. Hide took one more look at the number staring back then headed over to the paper to jot down 'updated weight:142lbs' before jotting it down in his phone's notes. Hide folded the paper then slid it under the clip of the pen's lid and headed back to the bedroom.

Bedroom...

Hide set the paper with pen attached on his dresser then looked at the bed to see if Ken was asleep before staring at the paper and pen once more to be sure. Hide climbed onto the bed and shook Ken who was dozing off to sleep thanks to the hectic day he had to endure.

"What did the scale read?" mumbles Ken resting his eyes.

"Open your eyes." says Hide.

"I'm trying to rest my eyes." says Ken annoyed.

"I'm 142 pounds!" says Hide peering down at Ken.

"You only gained 15 pounds? After all you gorged on? Shouldn't you be bigger?" wonders Ken opening his eyes.

"Scales don't lie." says Hide sitting up.

"How would they?" grumbles Ken.

"They can't." says Hide frowning.

Ken smirked amused keeping his gaze on Hide.

"Alright, massage with hands the human way or demonic ghoul kagune tentacles? Probing with tentacles is super creepy but I can make an exception since its you." says Ken wrapping his kagune around Hide.

"Do you need an answer? You'll do it either way." says Hide.

Ken's eyes drifted to Hide's stomach and began poking the small belly with the tips of his tentacles.

"You're not big enough to be squeezable and sensitive to the touch. Right now, let's be happy we get to snuggle and cuddle." says Ken sleepily closing his eyes.

"Still think I'm stick thin or whatever comes close to it?" wonders Hide amused.

Hide chuckled, watching the tentacles unlatch themselves from him and slowly retreat into the albino's back before laying beside Ken stopping them midway. Laying atop the part of the tentacle kagune that stayed out, Hide wrapped a arm around the albino pulling him closer. Ken twitched in his sleep, turning on his side so it looked like both were facing one side. He then had the tentacle kagune wrap around Hide and himself so they appeared to be forced to lay on their sides staying close together.

"White hair or black hair...you're to adorable to be griping about things that should and ought to be between us." says Hide drifting off to sleep.

"I'm not adorable like this. No Frankenstein's monster is 'adorable'. Black haired human is adorable regardless of how old...white haired demon brings furious mobs of ghoul killers with nothing normal about me being left." grumbles Ken as if hearing him.

"Vampire white hair...able to drink blood if necessary, werewolf eating habits, built like a Frankenstein...that's one epically powerful being and he's all mine. My own personal Batman who has 3 of the original monsters engraved into him." mumbles Hide in his sleep.

"Not sure how to take that but good to know." mumbles Ken in his sleep.

Several days later...

Ken had forced Hide to put the cosplay attires of Crona and Aru back on the racks where he found them after 5 days of searching cosplay shops. The Crona costume looked like it was meant for a female. Maybe it was the dress-like part of the outfit? Would Juuzou make a crazy she-male type? What is he thinking!? If Crona can be either male or female, that would make Juuzou both genders? Ken brushed off the Aru Akise outfit due to the outfit being more befitting of his black haired 'twin'. Ken would benefit more on choosing his own variation. But the Crona costume...was it worth taking the chance of recreating it through normal clothes or paying for the costume itself?

~flashback~

"Yes or no to Crona for Juuzou?" wonders Hide.

"I'm not sure. Actual attires to recreate the costume would be better for Aru and Kaito kid but Crona...I've no idea which is the better choice." huffs Ken.

"Put it back then?" wonders Hide.

"I'm with it and against it." says Ken itching his cheek reverting his eyes.

"Tell me how we would recreate this attire." says Hide.

"I have no idea." says Ken.

"Envision something. Anything." says Hide.

"I dunno...a fake dress shirt, a long sleeved black dress with a low neckline...white sleeve cuffs...cosplay shoes if for a guy. If female...Juuzou would need a long black wig with a white collared black dress and dress shoes. Would Juuzou be crazy enough to wear that? Does Crona even wield a scythe?" says Ken trying not to look embarrassed.

"Crona seems like he could wield anything if he is crazy enough to attack." says Hide.

"Juuzou level crazy or Yuno level crazy? Centipede level crazy!? No, Yuno and I are the same level of crazy with Juuzou just under us? I'd rather not check." says Ken sweat dropping.

"We'll take it." says Ken.

"We will? Positive?" wonders Hide.

"Yes..no...yes...it would be rude to turn Juuzou into a female just like that.." says Ken.

"But can we know for sure if Crona is a guy or girl?" wonders Hide.

"Not in the slightest." says Ken shrugging.

"We can't come back once this is set on the rack." says Hide.

"I don't want to give Shinohara the wrong idea." says Ken frowning.

"Putting it back like originally planned it is." says Hide putting it back.

~Reality~

bridal shop...?(not sure what Japan goes by)

"How can we do this without botching it?" wonders Ken.

"Let's get your AU self outta the way." says Hide.

"To make it easier for you to find Kaito kid?" wonders Ken.

"That's semi true." says Hide.

"You need a plain dress shirt not a unique one." says Ken looking at Hide.

Groom section...

Most dress shirts didnt come with a design so it was looking to be a tricky start of Aru's attire for Ken. Hide was looking through the dress shirts scanning for anything loosely fit with buttons in navy blue or silver.

"Hey Ken? Which would look better on me?" wonders Hide holding up the silver and navy blue dress shirts.

"Looking for dress shirts that don't normally appear in stores." says Ken scanning the dress shirts around them.

"At least tell me which would suit me more." says Hide.

Ken groaned glaring at Hide then grabbed the hangers to both, eyeing them then Hide.

"You are like an easter bunny so Easter blue would be you but silver can go with yellow so it's up for debate." says Ken handing them back to Hide.

"Kaito kid blue or recreation silver? Makes it hard to choose." says Hide.

"Your call." says Ken going back to searching for anything standing out.

The navy blue dress shirt had buttons going down but the silver dress shirt had a pocket. Did Hide really want to look exactly like Kaito kid? It was a hard choice when looking from one to the other. As much as he wanted to see how well yellow would look with silver, he put the pocket dress shirt back. Seemed fair to the picture he saved.

"There has to be a white dress shirt at least." says Hide looking at Ken.

"I don't want to confuse Yuki and Yuno." says Ken not once turning his head.

"Need me to search with you?" wonders Hide walking over to Ken.

"That would help greatly." says Ken getting paranoid.

I don't know if it would be possible, it took quite a while of searching through the white dress shirts for anything out of the ordinary and look behold, there was a lone white button down dress shirt with a black print design going down the right side and right arm with the cuffs folded back. The duo knew left from right side but seeing it worn, wouldn't it appear to be on the left side? Side designs aside, it still looked far better than the plain or pocketed dress shirts.

"It doesn't have a tie to go with it." says Ken grabbing the hanger to look it over.

"Neither does the blue dress shirt." says Hide as if pointing out the obvious.

"And where do you suppose they put the so called lone ties for dress shirts?" wonders Ken raising an eyebrow.

"Where there are dress shirts, there are bound to be lone ties to look through." says Hide.

"Riiight." says Ken noticing the other colored variants of the dress shirt in his hand.

It took some time looking through the groom's section but Ken and Hide eventually came across the variations of neckties.

"Looking at this dress shirt, it doesn't really need a necktie but Aru had a black tie sooo...yeeeeaaaah, I'll scan for black neckties and you look for red neckties." says Ken.

Hide nodded looking at all the colors and variations. Didn't take long for Ken to grab a plain black tie over the oddly designed ties. Ken glanced over at Hide who was pondering whether to go plain red or go with the red tie with red roses bunched together all over.

"The tie is the easiest one to look for. The one that jumps out is the one you take." says Ken.

"I'm a flower type of guy yet plain red is what the picture shows." says Hide.

"Grab the one that speaks you. Simple as that." says Ken unamused.

"Ok, ok, the silk necktie that looks like red roses were embroidered onto it." says Hide grabbing said necktie.

"All we need is a white suit and we should be done here. We will have to buy everything else elsewhere pertaining to Kaito kid and Aru; Aru's cap, pants and dress shoes and Kaito kid's dress shoes and gloves." says Ken trying to think positive.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" ponders Hide.

"Let's just get your suit so we can pay praying we didnt screw ourselves over." says Ken trying to smile.

"We can't forget about the cape." says Hide.

"Kaito kid shouldn't be superman. I'd include Batman given his cape but I am him so that leaves the day time super hero life." says Ken.

"Superman has a red cape not a white one." says Hide.

"I can't force you to change the colors of Kaito kid's attire but I might like to see you in the attires if there was a dressing room." says Ken slightly blushing.

"I can only choose 1 attire." says Hide.

"I meant one that went with the silver dress shirt you put back. Gold goes with silver giving you golden gloves, shoes and cape to go with it if you so choose." says Ken.

"Gotcha. I'll look around after I try the tuxedo on." says Hide.

"I don't need people thinking we have a wedding coming up." says Ken.

Hide shrugged and went about searching for a white tuxedo.

"This is to draining for me." thinks Ken.

Once Hide found a white tuxedo, Hide dashed into the dressing room to try everything on.

"This was a huuuuge mistake to agree on." thinks Ken noticing the dressing room.

After 10-15 minutes, Hide walked out of the dressing room tightening the necktie. Ken stared blankly looking at Hide from head to toe. If that were to be an actual wedding suit, Ken would be to amazed for words. Since it's cosplay inspired, Ken's mouth was twitching while his eyes scanned around for anyone in the groom's section.

"What's wrong with Kaito kid's suit?" wonders Hide frowning.

"White does go with every color and rabbits are supposed to be white. There are different variations but Easter rabbit screams white rabbit. You do pretty much look good in anything." says Ken nervously staring at Hide.

Ken was kind of thankful that Hide was pretty much his thin self. He didn't know how much longer that would last though.

"You sound like you are leaning toward no." says Hide.

"The outfit itself should be more in your favor than mine. I feel bad for either one." says Ken.

"You haven't seen the other one." says Hide.

"I mostly feel bad for the dress shirt whichever you choose." says Ken.

"Are there gold tuxedos here?" wonders Hide.

"To go with the silver dress shirt...doubtful." says Ken.

"We could always ask one of the work-"

"Don't wanna make assumptions given what we are." says Ken.

"You arent harming Japan yet so who's to say if you are human or not? The waiter assumed human twins at the restaurant." says Hide.

"Just get into your regular clothes so we can look for a golden tuxedo for the silver dress shirt." says Ken motioning for Hide to go back into the dressing room.

"Hard to bargain with when going places yet doesnt care when at home. Same Kaneki but different hair color, different background and irregular gene splicing. Cryptic in his words. Horror awesomeness to the ears when listening." thinks Hide going into the dressing room.

Hide handed Ken the original cosplay of Kaito kid to hold then searched all over after snatching the silver pocket dress shirt. It didnt seem like there was anything in gold until he took notice of an oddly placed golden tuxedo, the coat part being a shiny sequin blazer tuxedo with one button and the pants being somehow shinier in the light as if these two were meant for night clubs or the disco. Put them together and you get an oddly chosen tuxedo with the V collar of the blazer top being black.

"I found one! It's oddly placed with the usual variations but it's a tux nonetheless. I don't think this combo was meant to be in here." says Hide calling to Ken.

"Try it on then! And be quick about it!" says Ken.

Hide did just that after practically yanking the tuxedo off the rack.

"Don't harm the clothes!" thinks Ken watching Hide zoom into the dressing room.

"Oy..." huffs Ken.

"All we needed to do was get in and get out before people saw us and started asking questions. Most concerning of all being 'Why is a CCG recruit acting so natural around a albino ghoul?' and 'Are they seriously thinking about hooking up when they barely know each other?' In this scenario it'd appear to be 2 guys who just became friends suddenly thinking of marriage out of nowhere. The boyfriend thing I can slide for the most part considering how we acted in my version." thinks Ken irritated.

"Maybe I should stay by his side while he's at work and school. I loathe the thought. Any idea resulting in 1,000s of questions will haunt me as much as Rize does. No, he shouldn't have a dorm roommate so that's a little less stress than needed. But how should I go about it?" ponders Ken to himself.

'How do I look? Prefer the white rabbit suit over this one?'

"Hmmm?" wonders Ken taking notice of Hide.

"Disco night club style or white rabbit groom style?" wonders Hide.

"Uhhhhh..." says Ken blinking awkwardly.

"You look lost in thought." says Hide.

"Envisioning school life around you and how we can manage work life with CCG looming over our heads like your dad did to you." says Ken nervously laughing.

"Prefer this style outfit or go with the previous one?" wonders Hide.

"Gold to go with your hair sounds so much better than acting like a white rabbit who prefers going incognito in the night." says Ken awkwardly smiling.

"Is that so?" wonders Hide amused.

"Which is the better option if I were rounder?" wonders Hide slyly.

Ken turned his head trying to hide his blush.

"The buttons would be straining to stay on if you were chubbier. I don't know what counts as ugly or cute chubby but sunflowers and the sun are yellow so second choice is what I'd go with. Not sure how tuxedos would look on a 300+lb body for future reference." says Ken shyly.

"You prefer the second choice over original?" wonders Hide.

"In a bright shining light kind of way." says Ken nodding to himself.

"What about the necktie?" wonders Hide.

"If it matches, it works to a point." says Ken trying to remember the silvery gray colored options.

"Notice anything silver and floral like the red necktie?" wonders Hide.

"I was paying more attention to the plain colors." says Ken.

"Could you check again. If floral neckties could work with Kaito kid there must be another in that pile." says Hide.

"I'll double check." sighs Ken heading back to the necktie table.

Glancing around the table for the floral neckties, he placed them together 1 by 1 until he found a gray version of the red roses embroidery one. He looked from said necktie to Hide back to the necktie and set it back down. Golden savior needs a sunflower necktie that fits grayish silver and golden yellow. Was there one available? Would it clash with the disco fever variant? Decisions...decisions...where to go with this? Ken was against himself making such a decision while sorting through the neckties.

There was quite a bit of sunflower options to sort through but most of them looked like they'd clash horribly. That was until he noticed a black tie that had a gray scale imagery with only the petal part of the sunflower being colored. Staring at it, it did seem to be the perfect one to grab for. Picking up said necktie, Ken looked from the tie, to Hide who was staring nervously, back at the tie. Doesn't scream disco fever or night club but it did make perfect sense considering his old and current lifestyles. Ken sighed mentally kicking himself but smiled just the same taking the necktie up to Hide to switch it with the diagonal striped silvery gray tie.

"That's the best option I can find out of all of them. Not only does it stand out but it screams what we view ourselves as..." says Ken tightening the necktie after lowering it so the top part was shown.

Before Hide could reply, Ken put the matching tie with the rest of the lone ties.

"Now someone else can choose this. It was supposed to be a set so we may have ruined the ideal dress shirt/necktie duo." thinks Ken.

"We need to figure out what to call both versions of you so we don't mess up." says Hide.

"Just Yin Yang it. I'm no sun, that's more your territory over our moon. I'd be Yang White and cycle 2 Ken would be Yin Black. Considering our hair colors, it makes perfect sense." says Ken setting his arms to his sides, "In all three of our cases, you'd be our Yang Sun while we are your Yin Moons. I guess technically if other me has Touka, she'd be his rabbit Yang Sun."

"Someone like Touka would be equivalent to an eclipse, both sun and moon, right?" wonders Hide.

"Wouldn't that be Juuzou?" wonders Ken.

"It would be both." says Hide.

"Sun and moon linking together as 1...hard to put as a person or ghoulish demon." says Ken.

"The Yin Yang Frankenstein...brilliant." says Hide.

"Don't mock me." says Ken frowning.

"Black haired turned white haired. Yin and Yang symbol is black and white...it fits amazingly for you." says Hide.

"I might just strangle you with the sunflower necktie if you keep babbling on about the Yin Yang symbol. You pretty much look like your kid self so don't ruin the moment." grumbles Ken.

"Estranged disco suit over rabbit Kaito kid tuxedo?" wonders Hide to be sure.

"For the umpteenth time, yes, yes and OF COURSE!" says Ken.

"I'd grab myself a tuxedo but I only need the pants wasting the tuxedo blazer top." says Ken walking away to put the cosplay lookalikes back.

After an hour or 2, the disco suit and designed shirt were payed for.

"That wasnt as bad as the other day." says Hide.

"I'll never trust going into a dress/tuxedo shop ever again." says Ken.

"Ok Yang White Ken." snickers Hide.

"I can murder you within seconds Hide. Don't tempt me." says Ken glaring at Hide.

"You look better when you aren't bathed in blood." says Hide.

"Fuck off." mutters Ken.