"DiE SloWLY LiKE THe MiSErABLE RaTS YoU ArE!"
Blinking at the odd harmonics that the screaming voice had, Xander reached out and wrapped his fingers around the necks of the two fleeing men that were making a hasty retreat from the area. He could hear the distraught cries of a female coming from the direction they were running from. Lifting the two effortlessly into the air, he ignored the hands struggling against his grip as he stared at the two carefully.
"Moloch and Omar Von Zinzer" he stated with a rather sinister grin as the duo's struggles became even more desperate. Apparently, the two were not keen on meeting someone that knew them by name. Flipping the two brothers around, Xander slammed them onto the paving bricks of the alley and let the impact take the fight out of them before plucking the tightly clasped item out of Omar's hand. Ignoring the groaning pain of the two brothers beneath him, Xander sighed, "Petty larceny is so, well, petty." he grumbled before giving Omar a relatively soft kick to the kidney to keep the man down.
"The Baron had a standing offer of employment for you two if you should show up in his lands, he even wanted to buy D'Omas' Gunboat off you if you were still in possession of it, but to find you stealing from townfo-GRAAAH!"
Xander's rant was broken off as his hand rubbed against the locket and several parts of his construct body locked up in screaming pain.
He could feel the energy trying to worm its way into his mind, to crush and subvert it before he managed to toss the offending device away with a snarl, the remnants of his Hyena possession took the attack personally and before he knew it he had the two brothers in a nearly crushing grip as he hoisted them aloft, "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!"
The two soldiers had seen berzerk constructs before. The Duke had made a habit of sending the gunboats out after his carefully crafted paramours once they snapped beyond his control, even then the relatively soft 'Pleasure' constructs had been like whirlwinds of terror and death when they got close. To be held in the clutches of a fully realized war construct in a berzerk state was something out of a nightmare for the two brothers.
In a stream of half coherent babble the two related their recent mugging of the poor townie that had stumbled on to them.
Dropping the two, Xander shook his hand and with a grunt pulled out a sphere from his pocket. With a twist, the device expanded and with a bit of work he scraped the locket into the ball and closed it up, watching as the dials on the top spun for several seconds. Xander sighed and dropped the sphere into his pocket, "You two are lucky I found you. That was a madboy device, it generated a neuron inhibitor, a type of null energy that has a bad habit of shutting down the higher brain functions. Had you kept it in your possession you would have grown dim sometime tonight before dying as your autonomic functions failed sometime tomorrow."
As the two shouted in rage at the obvious assassination attempt, Xander waved them off, "No, this is far too complex for something as mundane as murder, it would be as crazy as custom hand building a gunboat to stomp on a particularly annoying Minmoth. No this this feels like something far more sinister," he grumbled before reaching into his pocket and flipping a pair of coins at the two men.
Snatching them out of the air, the two soldiers stared in shock at the imprinted image of a Gleekin showing a tooth filled grin as its extended arm the first two digits held in a 'V' pose. The five pound Gleekin Thallar was one of the few accepted forms of currency that was nearly universally accepted in Europa and was equal to a year's wage for the two soldiers in their old jobs.
"I have two more if you are willing to help me find the person you took this from."
"What?"
"YES!"
As the two brothers turned to squabbling over the danger vs cost return Xander stood and dusted himself off, he knew the two were mercenary enough to take the job. Still, the fact that someone had been walking around with a neuron inhibitor was a terrifying thought.
Not that there was an inhibitor, he had seen those back during his time in the castle, but that someone was walking around with one.
Finally turning to the two, he noticed the reluctance on Moloch's face as Omar grinned and flipped his coin in the air, "Looks like you have our services, sir. Do you mind if we spend a spot of our signing bonus on a bite to eat?"
Omar froze as a small bundle was shoved into his hands by the man that towered over him "Horse Jerky, Cantal cheese, dry apples and hard tack." he said as the two men unwrapped the ancient equivalent of an MRE and with a grunt dug into the first meal they'd had in days. They were still gnawing on the jerky as they crossed back across the street and into the alley in which they had first accosted the girl. The cracked bottle of Beetle Beer still sat in its sullen puddle in the corner. Thankfully even Moloch seemed to be getting into the spirit of the adventure now that his belly and coin purse were full.
Leaning against one of the boxes stacked nearby, Moloch chewed on a particularly flavorful bit of meat as he stared at the massive man that had hired them. "So why would a Townie be walking around with a Nu-Ron inhibitor, then?" he asked as Xander shifted through the area looking for any clues that could be had.
"Well it could very well be an assassination attempt, the item didn't have an activation switch so they could have easily swapped it out for one of the girl's pieces of jewelry and simply stood back as she died. No muss, no fuss," Xander said as he studied a heeled footprint that the girl had left in the dirt.
"But you don't think so, do ya?" Omar challenged as Xander looked up at the alley.
"No, I couldn't tell a lot before the energy started to damage me, but the girl's smell had worked its way into the metal of the locket itself. That doesn't happen quickly, she must have been wearing it for several years by this point."
Blinking at that, the two brothers glanced at each other before looking back at their new boss with a frown, "I Thought the locket would have killed us in a day or so?"
"And now you know why I'm concerned," Xander answered before waving the two to follow and stepped out into the street. "This is going to be an issue," he said as he bulldozed his way through the crowd, the majority of the people moving to escape the massive construct and leaving a wake that allowed the two humans to keep up with him. "We need to speak to the Baron about this. If you have any concerns I'm willing to cash you out now for half pay, or you can stay on and I'll make sure you have a job for a good long while."
Behind him, Xander could almost hear the two holding a nearly silent conversation before Moloch let out a put upon sigh. "Looks like you have the Brothers Von Zinzer, sir." he grumbled as Xander smiled.
"Good! The name's Xander or Alexander Von Dyne, if you have to be official. I'm the personal problem solver and monster hunter for Baron Wulfenbach," he explained quickly as they entered the massive university grounds and began to cross them without pause. Any commentary on his own, nearly legendary, history was interrupted by a massive explosion to the side of the head of a giant clank that appeared to be staring into a building.
With a groan, the oversized tinkertoy flailed back for a second before collapsing towards Xander and his two minions.
Ignoring the shrieks of alarm from the two, Xander reached out and clasped their shoulders before gathering the full measure of Aethartic energy he had collected and with a pulse, all three of them were standing at the front door of the university research labs. Above them the giant Clank that was peering into the building was struck in the head by a massive explosion and with a groan the oversized tinkertoy flailed back for a second before collapsing to the carefully trimmed grass of the university grounds.
Around them everything had taken on a slightly reddish tint that was quite disconcerting to the two mortals.
"We are currently five seconds ahead of ourselves. Try not to interfere with things outside of us or you may get stuck in phase and never get out, and that would bring you to the attention of 'Them.' I can assure you, nobody wants that," Xander stressed to them as he pushed past the door and made his way towards the labs. He had been around Sparks enough to know that the giant kill-bot had probably been threatening Klaus before it exploded.
As they moved, the two soldiers noticed that the crowd seemed to be a bit slow on the uptake, seeming to look at where they had been instead of where they were, though as they moved the two were catching up to each other.
Things had just about synched up when a fusillade of bullets ripped a half dozen of the Invincible Army soldiers to junk just ahead of them. Slipping into the room, Xander took stock of the situation and moved.
"NO! I'll NEVER Submit to that! NEVER!"
As the last dregs of time seemed to synch up, Xander caught the ranting man's hand in his own, larger one, the bomb carefully held in place within the dark skinned man's hand by the former Scooby who looked at his master. "Klaus, we have an issue!"
Blinking at the sudden appearance of his friend, Klaus gave a soft sigh of relief before waving at the massive sphere that had been hidden behind the false wall "Bigger than a hive engine in the middle of Beetleburg?" he asked as Xander's eyes flickered over to the big doom ball before glancing back at him.
"Is it active?"
Glancing at the weapon for a moment Klaus actually considered the question before responding, "Well… no." he announced.
Xander nodded, "Then yes, I believe this might be bigger than an unresponsive ball sitting in a secure lab surrounded by the third airborne, the seventh mechanauts and a full division of Jägersmonsters as well as what remains of Doctor Beetles' Invincible army." he answered with a grin that caused the Baron to sigh.
Keeping his hand tightly enclosed around the good doctor's hand and the device within, Xander used his other hand to pull out his Pokeball and opened it with a twitch of his hand, "Someone has been suppressing a spark with Null Energy."
"No!"
"WHAT!"
"Impossible."
"My Locket!"
As one the occupants of the room turned towards the lone female as she pointed at the locket.
"Hey Boss, that's the girl."
Turning back to the two soldiers that had carefully taken seats on the slightly smoking husks of Doctor Beetles' Invincible army, Xander felt the urge to facepalm. Unfortunately both hands were currently occupied, so he had to live vicariously through the Baron who simply slapped a hand over his own face and groaned.
"That's my locket! My uncle Barry made it for me when I was six, it has the only pictures of my parents in it."
Carefully shifting the device around so he could open it without coming into contact with the mind-destroying energy that it emitted, Xander carefully hit the catch and blinked at the two figures within before glancing at the girl again and then back at the pictures. "Oh fuck, this is a hell of a lot bigger than a Hive Engine." he hissed.
Any further issue was interrupted by Doctor Beetle finally growing tired of being a bit character in the unfolding drama. With a cry of 'Szeretett Az Isten!'
Xander screamed in blinding pain for the second time of the day as his hand felt like a billion angry wasps had taken to stabbing him with rapiers for the destruction of their mad god-queen. Ignoring the urge to curse in a dozen different languages, he made a mental note to check on Doctor Akre once he was back at the castle and make sure she wasn't trying to reform her Verpary Knights again. Three times with the bastards was two times too many!
Turning to glare at the pile of ash that had once been Doctor Tarsus Beetle, Xander shook his hand to try and recover feeling in it, "This! This is why I avoid the theatrics Klaus! It's always a headache when you madboys get desperate," Xander snarled before stomping over to the small avalanche of junk that had apparently fallen out of a closet that was obviously too small to contain the volume with which it had been stuffed full.
"Desperate? H-he blew himself up!" the girl shouted in shock as the Baron's son stood nearby with a goldfish in a bowl held awkwardly in hand.
Frowning at the girl, Xander carefully closed up his Pokeball and repocketed it as he dug through the junk. "I said desperate, not suicidal," he growled before finding what he had been looking for. Swiping the glass bell off the base he carefully ignored the slightly glowing rose that it had been protecting as it floated beneath.
"That wasn't a bomb miss…" Xander frowned as he glanced at the occupants of the room before raising an eyebrow at her in question.
"Clay, Agatha Clay."
"Right… Clay… Anyways, Agatha, that wasn't a bomb That was a bit of stage magic. A bright flash of light so everyone looks away and 'Hey Presto' a perfect escape," Xander explained as he carefully brushed the ash pile away while he continued to explain. "He probably would have gotten away with it too if I hadn't been reading up on his research on my way over here. See, while Beetle is a genius beyond compare in almost all things mechanical, his original thesis was on size manipulation. Back when he was younger he was obsessed with size. Klaus can probably go into greater detail, but the 'short' and long of it was that Beetle wanted to be big."
Ignoring Agatha's defense of her master's size, Xander carefully watched as Klaus stepped closer and squatted next to him near the ash pile, "Indeed, it wasn't until my fifth year that he finally declared his research to be a complete failure and turned his focus on the mechanics of Clanks, a field that he excelled in," the Baron said as Xander nodded.
"An absolute failure," Xander clarified before carefully lowering the glass bell down, trapping the quarter inch tyrant under glass "You see, he could never make himself bigger, but it would be child's play to make himself smaller."
"S-so he's okay?"
Glancing up at the blond, Xander gave her his best fang filled smile along with a thumbs up just to be safe. "Sure, sure, it will probably be a while before he's back to his old, scowling self. Though personally I'd leave him as is, set him up with an office and the like and give him a couple assistants and a teletype so he can run the city. Heck, you can put him out in the quad on display and let the city see him work, call it, 'The Tiny Tyrant of Beetleburg' or something." Xander joked as he tapped the glass holding the tiny man that appeared to be hopping up and down as he screamed.
Rubbing his eyes to cover the grin that was tugging at his lips, Klaus turned to Boris, "See that Doctor Beetle is fully equipped for the running of the city. Bedchambers, washing facility, dining room, office and a small lab," he ordered as the four armed man nodded as he jotted notes.
"I'll see to it personally, sir. Concerning his assistants, both reduced and full size, are there any specifics we should look for? I doubt his previous choice would be a valid option," Boris said with a glare at the stunned Silas Merlot for the man's part in the current crises.
Nodding at that particular issue, Klaus considered the situation before smiling, "Check the school registry, you'll likely find several names, I'm sure. Poor grades, well endowed, almost certainly female that have signed up for all of Beetles' lectures. A Spark of his power attracts the type," Klaus explained as he tried not to think of his own Fangirls that had plagued him in his younger years, before shrugging.
"Beetle will have likely put a note in each of their files stating that he is to avoid being left alone with them. Teach them the basics of Spark Care one oh one, as Xander calls it and cycle them through every three to six months or so. Let nature take its course, but any children that may or may not be conceived are to be brought to the castle. Octavia is growing into a bright young lady in her own right, but I would not be adverse to having a few of my old friend's children running around."
Coughing to cover a chuckle, Boris turned aside for a moment before nodding in understanding. "And for our Judas here?" he asked, pointing a quill at Merlot who was just beginning to grasp that his choices in recent minutes may not have been in his own best interests.
Glancing at the man that had started the escalation, the Baron rubbed his chin in thought. "While I despise traitors, I must say that without a loss of life it might be a tad excessive to send him to the castle."
"Give him to my fanboy."
Glancing over at Xander, Klaus rolled his eyes.
Xander sat near the small glass bell and used a brazier and a small hand cranked bellows to pump marijuana smoke into the tiny tyrant's enclosure where the previously enraged man was now laying against the glass and appeared to be giggling.
"Do you think he would take him?"
Finishing up with operation, 'smoked beetle,' Xander carefully tamped out the Spark grown weed before closing it up, putting everything back into his coat and standing up. "Only one way to find out, besides, if he says no then at least you tried to be reasonable before you shipped him off to the castle." Xander rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a well faded and crumpled piece of yellow paper, "Here we go miss… Agatha, please just read this out loud."
Blinking at suddenly being addressed by the man, Agatha carefully took the paper and after a glance at it looked back up to make sure he wasn't joking. At his encouraging nod, Agatha sighed and said in a monotone, "Eek. Oh Woe is me. I appear to be trapped in a cage as I am being slowly lowered into a pit of carnivorous magpies. Whoever could save me?" She lowered the paper and then shrieked in shock as the window at the upper level of the lab exploded.
The shower of glittering glass sparkled around the massive form that had, for some reason, taken a dive through the glass. A bit of unnecessary destruction, considering the perfectly functioning hole already existing in the wall, thanks to Mr. Tock' earlier presence.
"WHAT HO! Who else, but I, Othar Tryggvassen! (Gentleman Adventurer!)" he cried as he performed a rather amazing but pointless double front flip before landing perfectly on the lab floor and glancing around from behind his visor with his trademark smile before losing the majority of his humor. "Oh, I see, it's just Gil screaming like a girl again. I must say once more that I don't swing that way young man and it's bordering on harassment for you to keep calling me!" the big Norwegian said with a scowl before finally taking note of the other assembled people in the room.
Ignoring the suddenly red-faced Gilgamesh, Othar managed to stamp down on his urge to squeal as Xander slowly pocketed the slip of paper and the gold coin Klaus had handed him in response to a long-standing bet the two had. Then he glanced around at the shattered remains of the lab with a smile.
Dropping the coin in his pocket, Xander smiled before turning to the man that had dogged his heels since he had first met him in Grimstad nearly twenty years earlier, "OTHAR! There you are, my man. I was just talking about you," Xander said and ignored the rather high pitched squeal the burly Norwegian gave as he threw his arm around the shorter man, "I know you're busy, but I really need someone to watch out for this guy. He's been walking the line just short of villain for a while now and today he almost went full bore over the edge," he explained as Othar scowled down at the rather thin Merlot. "Thankfully we caught it in time and nobody got hurt, but I want to give him a chance at the hero thing instead. Now I can't take him on because of my duty to the empire. Klaus was just going to throw him away and while I considered letting Gil have a crack at him… well…" the two men turned to glance at the red-faced heir to the empire before shaking their heads in unison in disappointment. "So I'm going to ask, Othar Tryggvassen, will you take Silas Merlot on as your spunky sidekick."
Glancing at the man that was obviously at least a decade older than himself, Othar considered the situation carefully. While he would be the first to admit that the idea of helping his idol would be a dream come true and the chance to save a lost soul before it fell to darkness was what he usually did as a hero, he was also a tad conflicted. Usually his spunky sidekicks were female and younger, and female.
Did he mention female?
Still, this was Xander asking. So with a put-upon sigh, Othar raised his visor up and gave the construct a firm glare before dropping it back into place. "Very well, I could not call myself a hero without at least trying, but YOU OWE ME!" he grunted before reaching down and wrapping a massive, meaty fist around the quaking doctor, lifted him up and strode out of the lab with the struggling former villain tossed over his shoulder like a bag of codfish heads. The things he did to be a hero.
Resisting the urge to cackle evilly, Xander brushed his hands of the slimy little man before turning back to the last issue at hand, the lost daughter of Bill and Lucrezia Heterodyne.
Yeah, this wasn't going to go over well.
-
(A/n) 'Szeretett Az Isten' is the Beetle family Motto, it translates to 'Beloved by god' and is a rather cheeky play on a question asked of a researcher about what studying Beetles can tell you about the mind of the creators, the researcher looked at them and said 'Apparently he really loved Beetles.'
It's known that Othar decided that all Sparks need to die due to the destruction of Oslo, which is about two hundred and fifty kilometers from his hometown of Grimstad. Nothing is ever said of what happened to Oslo, so in my version, Doctor King Zumi used the capital city as a breeding factory so he had parts for his construct army. Xander broke that almost twenty years earlier, so Othar didn't have to wade through thousands of children's corpses in a dead city. As such he's far more 'together' than he is in the canon universe.
As for Klaus, in the canon universe, everyone assumed he was The Other (the evidence did point to it being someone that the boys knew and he was a solid suspect if you didn't know that he'd been hoodwinked by Lucrezia.) As such everyone hid from him. In this story, Xander is still around which gives him some solid support during his attempt to calm the war torn Europe.
