If there is one:
Hello everyone,
As an introvert, I only have writing by my side. Loner may be more me these past few years than anything. I'm not saying, I hate people as a whole but I am uncomfortable around people irl and online so it's hard to converse with anxiety pointing me toward judging eyes and depression making me cease writing until comfortable enough. Yet, regardless of what I write, haters appear telling me to leave the writing world as a failure with pathetic excuses for stories. I talk more in my head than I do in person and messaging is disastrous when I try to analyze how users chat to me.
If I sense tenseness, I will want nothing to do with the user. Writing as a hobby has been more of a comfort zone which is mostly conversations between anime characters. Being an overthinker, I can't help but see negatives more than positives. Telling myself to become a member feels like a regret more than a relief. I have no-one but myself to trust so you won't get much out of me as I'm more silent listener than chatter.
I don't have much followers, comments or favorites on Deviant art and reviews on Fanfiction bring on a love hate relationship toward how to deal with reading other's thoughts about me.
I'd love to have a peaceful mind while enjoying what I do without how users react looming my mind. Wishful thinking, I know. I'm beside myself on how to go about beta reading as I've never done it before and going between Deviant art and Fanfiction puts me as the middle person between fans and haters.
The emotions you give off control how the chapters go and as much as I hate the thought, seeking betas on Fanfic is more miss than hit with 1 reply having me wait due to depression on their end. It'd be nice to have a second pair of eyes since I'm not that good at ratings.
I recently became a fan of Future Diary\Tokyo Ghoul November of 2020 and I want to give Ken Kaneki a better life between KenTouka ship and HideKane ship with the help of Yukiteru and Yuno in a crossover family type of situation within the Tokyo Ghoul world. I have a good idea of character personas but its more conversation than descriptive actions. I'm not big on murder scenes but I can get dark in my own way through crazy talk. I would do a rewritten version but that depends on who all wants to see for themselves. Down side is, I don't have grammarly nor Google Drive. They're website only unless you count tablet notepad.
I feel like a fool when telling people of myself and my stories so I'm better off a silent type of gloomy loner. Anxiety and Depression are my enemy as I either care to much or care to little.
Cant do much about it now if noone truly cares. These usernames are a reminder of the time I attempted pokemon stories-current day. No point in dragging things further if life is bittersweet in its own way
DA usernames blocked:Serene-Rainfall, Ringing Belle, About Gone, Rhythmic-Love
