Blanche shook his head. The back of his mind had been occupied since that night as a calendar of days slowly ticked down to zero. He tapped his pencil against the test paper, running over physics formulae in his head. The prompt was to draw a free-body diagram of a FLARE Ranger as it flew into and punched something out of the sky, then calculate the amount of forces acting on it in the x and y directions.
I don't know why, but I'm fairly certain this is Rosa's fault, he thought.
He also thought it was weird going from saving the world and then taking his final exams only a few weeks later. On one hand, he was rather lucky that no important Anomalies had popped up over their last month in Trainer School, but on the other hand, it meant that he had no excuses to not study. Well, other than his casts getting in the way, but that excuse had worn thin with most of his teachers.
Really, he didn't have too much trouble with the tests. Literature was so low-level that it essentially boiled down to knowing how to read textbooks, which was… odd and probably indicative of something going on in the UR, but the more important subjects were easier. Physics was a lot less boring to learn about when you could see its application right in front of you every single day. Chemistry was a lot of math that he probably wouldn't worry about in the future, because mathematically computing move effects on certain Pokémon was more time consuming than just hitting it until it was knocked out. He didn't understand theoretical types no matter how hard he tried. Phós as a coefficient of photonic friction? What the hell did that even mean?
A Certain Trainer School… What an interesting place. Who would have thought that in a world like his, they would still have to go to school? A complicated web of studying, socializing, and searching for who he was. It could be painful at times, dealing with all of that.
He would miss it.
He finished scribbling out his final answer, flipped his paper, and decided that he would try to catch a nap.
Far outside of Lumiose-3, in the hills that lay beyond Laverre City, there was a hollow mountain. A complex that relayed information from across the world and served as the United Regions regional base of operations. The embassy located in Lumiose-3 was merely performative.
Inside the hollow mountain, there are many layers. An elevator that leads directly into a basement level that is empty for most, but filled for some.
Lysandre stood with his arms behind his back, a spotlight singling him out, and a dim red light being cast over him from seventeen directions.
In the darkness, seventeen tiles were erected on the reddened floor. Pitch black and written on with red lettering. UR-GRASS. UR-WATER. UR-DRAGON.
"FIRE," the brightest tile spoke, a speaker appearing in the red light beneath the lettering that spelled DRAGON. "Give your report."
Lysandre began his yearly explanation. From January to December, he ran over FLARE's development, their standing with other organizations, along with their gains and losses. Logistics were what would win the war against a broken world.
"The number of allied Espers have doubled in the last year. Public relations have grown amicable with the recent severity of Anomalies and the fanaticism with the Espers."
Of Legendaries, he said nothing.
"Celebrity is a curse, I have learned," DRAGON said. "You say that the number of Espers have doubled, but according to your files, only three of them have AIAM-field related abilities. Explain."
"The fourth has no aura."
"Of course," ELECTRIC said. "I had thought that they were an escaped prototype, but Santiago is unlikely to finish development for some time."
Lysandre's brow furrowed. "I don't believe that continuing the development of an android will aid us in our goals."
"Oh, but why not?" ELECTRIC said. "After all, your Anomaly was instrumental in defeating the Second Deoxys."
"That was a fluke."
DRAGON interrupted, "We ought not to argue. The prototype will begin proper development under UR oversight and not just your own scientists, ELECTRIC."
"I don't need your oversight," ELECTRIC hissed.
"You will receive it regardless. I have been told that gifts are best given when none are wanted," DRAGON replied. "FIRE. Your organization will receive representatives from Interpol to aid in detaining rogue Espers properly."
"Very well," Lysandre replied, brow furrowing.
"Good. Funding will be redistributed and more resources will become available to you. Now," DRAGON coughed, "Is there anything else on the agenda? When I was king, we simply had petitioners."
"That was three thousand years ago," STEEL, ROCK, and GROUND said all at once with a single voice. "If you look like you're twenty, you need to act like it."
The tiles in the room began blinking out as the UR Council saw that nothing else of importance was to be discussed.
Lysandre shook his head, stepping out of the spotlight. For all the talk of running the world, they were all absolutely ridiculous.
And it was the strangest thing. As quickly as Blanche had melded into the Trainer School system, he just as easily slipped out of it. The graduation ceremony was still a short ways off, but the last day of school had officially passed.
The afternoon of, seven sealed envelopes with seven different names inscribed arrived at a small row house in the Little Kanto suburbs. The return address was unanimously a Certain Trainer School, just off of Jauna Plaza.
Most people had postponed their celebrations for that evening, in lieu of wanting to know if they had actually passed the year or not. There was no time that Gin celebrated other than from early at night to one in the morning, of course, but the idea was still logical.
Everyone had gathered at home before opening their letters, and an air of trepidation had settled over them. They stood in a semi-circle, crowded around the pile. Ariel looked to Trevor, Trevor looked to Shauna, and Shauna looked to Blanche.
"You go first," she said before he could issue an objection.
"Hey-eh, I might as well." He shrugged and stepped up. "The moment of truth," Blanche whispered, tearing open the side of his envelope instead of struggling with the flap.
A plastic laminated card plinked onto the table as he slid out the letter.
It was more helpful than any report card, in retrospect. The numbers were there, high-ish but not perfect, but the teacher's comments pointed out what areas he should study on his own. Biology, care, stuff that required interacting with Pokémon that didn't want to destroy the city or any of the good Espers that lived in it. A small booklet and a coupon for a Pokédex 3D on his Holo Caster were enfolded as well.
He was hit with an odd sense of… relief? He hadn't expected to fail, but he didn't have high hopes. With only a year's worth of memories and whatever MissingNo gave him, he hadn't been confident.
He stepped to the side so that Trevor could get his results, picking up his Trainer Card from where it had dropped. Strangely, it showed a picture of him after he'd stopped wearing his bandages, and the background seemed far too… lively. Like it had been taken in the middle of the city. His smile was oddly wide, too. Which wasn't rare, he smiled all the time, he wasn't depressed or anything like that, but…
Geez, was that what he looked like after coming down from Deoxys? He'd been worn out and aching, what did he have then to look so happy about?
There was an odd squiggle in the upper right corner as well. He squinted his eyes and looked closer.
LADY WAS HERE
"Huh," he murmured with a nod. Maybe having Skynet on his side wasn't such a bad idea. It could be handled with getting his government photos up to date. "I guess I should thank her if I ever get zapped into a computer or something dumb like that."
As the sun set on a midwinter evening, an all-but-empty jet let off its few passengers in the Lumiose-3 interregional airport.
It was a small team, for there was no leader, but a deep impression was made as one man in a trench coat looked out across the city.
The lights in the nearest MagLev station blinked with a bell-like pulse.
Looker secured his duffel bag around his shoulder and bit down hard on a lollipop stick.
"Ladies and gentlemen, let's get to work."
"Ladies and gentlemen," Gin crowed, standing on top of a Certain Cantina's table and holding a broom (God knows where he got it from) like a microphone stand, "Are you ready to RUMB-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-LE?"
There was an ear-splitting roar as two classes worth of everyone crowded into the bar, filling it to the brim with people and drinks. With partner Pokémon mixed into the equation, either walking on two legs or balancing on shoulders, it was an absolute nightmare to get around.
Through the booming jazz-pop and the constant cheering, it was hard to make much out of anything, least of all his surroundings.
Blanche was sitting on a stool next to the bar, looking out into the chaos as a similarly blond bartender worked behind him.
As LaRusso's Throh backflipped onto the table, picked up Gin and threw him into the opposite wall, Blanche felt like the most unfettered man in the world. As long as he had his soda, of course. He soon swiveled back to pick up his drink.
And instead of soda, he was presented with a mug of clear, icy liquid. Not the good kind of clear, like a Sprite Cokleon, but clear like water.
"Your friend told me to cut you off," the frosty bartender said, smoothly jerking his head towards Shauna, who was wagging her finger at him from further down the bar where all the girls were sitting and probably laughing at Gin making a fool of himself.
"But I haven't had any yet!" Blanche exclaimed.
"It's best for your health, I'm sure," Trevor said in a low tone, drinking his own water.
"You're implying Shauna cares about my well-being. I expect our valedictorian to be a little more intelligent than that."
"Hold that thought- you don't mind if I borrow your vernacular for a moment, do you?" Trevor asked.
Blanche was confused for a moment, and offered, "I guess not?"
"In that case," Trevor drank from his cup and pointed at him with his free hand. "You, Blanche, are a Goddamn idiot."
It was just the way Trevor said it that kept him from feeling offended. He hadn't said it as an insult, more as a matter of fact.
Wasn't that worse?
He barely even got to appreciate his cool, refreshing, not at all special beverage before a booming shout came across the cantina.
"Well, if it isn't the man of the hour!" Gin shouted. "Everyone say, hi, Blanche!"
"HI, BLANCHE!" came a shout from what could have been every single person in the city, but was more likely just every boy that was still listening to Gin.
The boy in demand called bullshit, thinking that if everyone else was acting drunk on success, he should at least be able to get drunk on soda.
"Now, as you all know, my friend, my buddy, my old pal, he's also our favorite FLARE Ranger, Amaranth, isn't that right?"
"YEAAAAAAAAAH!"
"I thought I was everyone's favorite!" Rosa cried from somewhere in the crowd, which did nothing to dissuade Blanche of his opinions on her sanity.
"Now, this sick, forever-single bastard has saved our wonderful city," Gin burped, "On multiple occasions! Let's show him how much we appreciate it!"
Blanche swore, "Oh, Christ, save me-"
And then he was swept up by the tide of other, much more creatively dressed- though just as testosterone-ridden- teenage boys. They pushed him to the center of the cantina, an odd spot where the floor was clear and everyone was pushed to the side.
"And if it isn't one of our most wonderful bachelorettes, the ever illustrious railgun of Lumiose-3, our fair lady Rue-"
Blanche choked on his air and coughed.
"Shauna!"
"WOOOOOOOOOO!"
Carried by Lenore, Rosa, and Whitley, because of course she was, Shauna appeared above the crowd's heads and seemed to surf over, before landing opposite him in the circle.
"Now, as anyone with a pulse, eyes, or ears can tell, these two got a little something-something going on!" Gin yelled, his voice booming in time with the music.
"Yeah they do!" shouted back everyone else but two other them.
"No, we don't!" Blanche and Shauna shouted back, louder and simultaneously.
Gin smacked his forehead, though the sound couldn't reach them. "COME ON! TURN THAT U.S.T. INTO SOME R.S.T.!"
More cheering. "KISS, KISS, KISS, KISS!"
The mantra continued while Blanche swore under his breath.
"Seriously?" he whispered, his throat clamming up for some odd reason.
Wait.
No, no, no.
Regardless of how he thought he felt about it, his skin was starting to flush red and blood continued to rush to his face.
That'd be weird, no, wait, shit, shit, shit, she is kind of cute- WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING?
Time seemed to have slowed, not from any interference from MissingNo, but the sheer confusion his brain had decided to slam over his head.
Shauna was looking at him in some sort of… way. Somewhere between brick and beet red in the face, electricity zapping the air around her like a tesla coil. He really, honestly, truly had very little clue what she was thinking.
Damn that tsundere survival guide or whatever the hell it was called.
Unfortunately for Blanche, mixed signals don't work on a guy whose actual superpower is to be impossibly dense in matters of heart, be they platonic or otherwise.
He pointed at her, pointed at himself, showed a thumbs-up, then a thumbs-down.
He expected her to shake her head or throw something at him, because while she'd never done the latter, it wasn't that far off.
"KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!"
Shauna walked up to him, making him take a step back, but she paused a quarter-pace away, seemingly talking to her shoes.
She said in a low tone, calmer than her body language implied, "They're expecting something dramatic, I'll grab you, you'll wrap your hands around me, and they'll think that's enough to ease off. If you don't want to…"
He said, "No, might as well, I'd hate to kill the mood," from the corner of his mouth.
Seriously, what's a guy gotta do to get a nice, tall glass of soda in this city?
As the cheering continued, she got closer and wrapped her arms around his neck.
Awkwardly as you'd expect, he tried to clasp his hands together at the small of her back and not scrape her with his casts.
Tried.
Shauna suddenly jumped into the air, and his arms ended up locked behind her waist as she pulled her face close to his.
Snap, crackle, pop.
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Not that Blanche could tell at the moment, but Gin pointed across the crowd and shouted, "Lenore, I freakin' told you! You owe me two hundred !"
"I never took that bet!" the spirit medium yelled back. "Only an idiot would take those odds!"
Across the cantina, Trevor sat with a bemused look on his face, like he'd just remembered that he hadn't done his homework or something similarly inconvenient.
"Tio," he said.
"Yeah, Trevs?" Tierno replied, before drinking
"It has just occurred to me that if I had joined the betting pool back in January, I'd be a few thousand Pokédollars richer."
"When did you end up joining?"
Trevor stared down at his kneecaps for a moment, then slumped in his seat.
"...I'm not a betting man, Tio."
Lenore was standing in a relatively clear spot on the floor, sighing and shaking her head as Ariel and Whitley questioned what all the fuss was about. Money was changing hands all around them.
"Ariel, you remember what I told you when you first transferred in?"
"Um, maybe?" she answered honestly. She was red in the face, not used to seeing public displays quite like… that. She would have reacted the same way if it were a couple that she didn't know.
"Boys… are very, very stupid."
At the other end of the bar, standing on one of the stools, Rosa surveyed the crowd with her hand positioned a visor extension.
"Aw, man! Sorry, Serena, I bet on you instead."
Serena was sitting with a glass of sparkling water. She had an odd smile on her face, like she knew something no one else did.
"It's fine. I think I've learned something that's worth more than money."
"Eh? What's that supposed to mean?" Rosa asked, confusedly.
The look on her face was almost incomprehensible. "I felt him before. I can tell that it wasn't Blanche."
Rosa looked at her blankly. "...Eh?"
About a full minute after it had started, Blanche half-collapsed to the ground, the red in his face having been entirely replaced by blue.
"Did… did, did-"
"I'll give you a moment," Shauna said quietly soon after regaining her footing, before walking off into the crowd to never return.
Blanche moved his fingers to his lips, not even registering the scratchiness he felt on his chin. The buzzing sensation was almost overwhelming.
"Did that- no, yes, no. Maybe. I think that might have meant something."
A beat passed as the party raged on regardless of his immobility.
It took its sweet time, but a gear eventually clicked into place in his brain.
"Holy shit!"
Just your average night in Lumiose-3.
AN:
Very short chapter, as I realize now. I'm following a vague outline for proper pacing and chapter count, so unless I put in a ton of filler, there's going to be a skewed average. Blanche is... really dumb, a fact which I am reminded of every day and I thank God I'm not in his situation. Like, imagine you get the opportunity for the most wish fulfillment ever, but then MissingNo goes brrrrr, you find out a semi-apocalypse happened that you don't have a clue about, and you're also a bundle of self-loathing and lack of actual confidence. If this were a dark fic... man, this would be a much different story.
