Thanks euphoricimage for helping me beta this chapter! I swear they gave me more ideas on how to make the story more angsty :')

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He blinked.

Black charcoal on white snow greeted him. Heat from the kiln washed over his face. The familiar smell of burnt wood wafted to his nose, bringing to mind the memory of warmth and laughter.

He looked down. There was a basket of charcoal, freshly dried and ready to be sold.

Right. It was winter. He needed to sell as much charcoal as he could if he wanted his family to have their fill on New Year's. Smiling, he bent down slightly so that he could strap the basket to his back, the charcoal within clacking sharply.

"Son?"

He looked up. Turned, to see his mother approaching with a frown on her face.

"Your face is covered in soot," she said, wiping her hands on her kappogi. "Come over here."

Obediently, he came to her. His eyes crinkled when she rubbed his cheeks with a clean cloth. Her touch was gentle and soothing.

But when he looked at her, her eyes seemed... sad.

"Tanjirou," his mother said, patting his cheek. "You have to go now."

He gasped, eyes widening in horror, because red red red trickled down her pale lips. Her touch became ice cold and the life in her eyes vanished. The metallic scent thickened, sharp and nauseating.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

A chill ran down his spine. The demon was coming. The warm kiln and the white snow disappeared. Only he and his mother remained, her pale face now drenched in red red blood.

The scent of foul iron intensified. And it came from behind him.

"Go," she urged him, crying tears of red red blood. "Don't look. Please, son. You need to go now—"

But he looked back, because where were his little siblings? The demon was coming, he had to bring them with him—!

He choked back a scream.

Rokuta. Shigeru. Hanako. Takeo. Nezuko. They all stared at him with dead eyes as their broken bodies laid on a pool of red red red—

No!

Wispy hands covered his eyes.

Don't look.

It's horrible. It's painful. It's a nightmare.

It's too much!

The tragedy was seared in his mind. The red red bloody faces of his family, limp and lifeless, continued to haunt him. He could not escape, too much, it's all his fault

Ssh…

Close your heart.

Put your mind to rest.

Hide.

Hide us. Hide from us.

Run, Nii-chan!

But he could not. How could he, when the demon was coming? When he was the demon, still alive and breathing, while his everything was red blood gone—

It's not your fault. Never yours, son...

Wake up.

Nii-chan!

They were his family, he couldn't just—

Forget this ever happened.

Wake up!

Please, forget us...

Wake up!

Wake up, Tanjirou-nii-chan—!

WAKE UP!

Slap!

Tanjirou blinked, breathing rapidly. His cheek stung and his neck ached. Slowly, he turned towards concerned lilac eyes.

"Get a grip of yourself, Tanjirou-san!" She hissed at him. But her voice was muffled in his ears, as if submerged in mud. Drowned in the swamp, disappearing into the abyss—when she shook his shoulder roughly.

Tanjirou flinched and looked up at her. She was here. Her touch was warm and real. But he couldn't see her. Couldn't smell her scent. Only red red iron red and Hanako's blood-soaked face, staring at him with blank and lifeless eyes. He shut his eyes tight and his little sister's cold face disappeared, only for his mother to take its place. Red red red, the metallic tang intensifying, as her smile was forever smeared with blood-red.

Tanjirou wailed. Apologised, again and again because everything was his fault. He was too weak. Too slow. Too lenient, to allow the demon to come too close to his family. To not recognise the dangerous scent. To not fight back enough. He clawed at his chest as regrets tore his heart into pieces, while his red red dead family watched him live with lifeless eyes. Watched him escape death unscathed, while little Rokuta coughed up blood, Shigeru lost his legs, Takeo lost an eye, Hanako with a hole on her chest, Nezuko with a mangled neck, and Mum—

"—has the kindest, purest smile I have ever seen."

Tanjirou froze. Choked back a sob. His mother's eyes still stared at him, bloodshot and lifeless—

"—and a beautiful shade of violet," a soft voice murmured in his ear.

Gradually, his dead mother disappeared from his eyes. Her cold eyes blurred, replaced by lilac eyes. Shuttered and mournful, but alive.

It took him a while to realise that a small, calloused hand was cupping his cheek, thumb caressing the skin under his eye. She rubbed his tears away with gentle touch, her familiar fragrance bringing him back to reality.

"Kie-san has long and pretty eyelashes," she—Kanao— continued as her thumb moved to brush his eyelid. "They frame her crinkling eyes, making her gaze look softer. Her eyebrows are thin and symmetrical, which always lift up whenever she laughs. She has a wide forehead just like you, and a tiny mole under her plump, smiling lips."

Slowly, the pieces of the puzzle came together. The colour of his mother's eyes. Her eyelashes. Her eyebrows. Her forehead. Her mole under her smile. They replaced her bloody visage in his nightmare, as if time had turned back and she was, once more, alive and laughing.

"Her black hair is always tucked into a bun. Though it's a shame that she always hides her silky hair under her headpiece, because I've seen her with her hair down in the summer. It was long and slightly wavy. It made her look younger. Have you seen her like that?"

I have, Tanjirou thought, the image of his mother with her wavy hair down coming to his mind. She looked just like an older Nezuko.

"She looked just like Nezuko-san, only more mature," Kanao said, confirming his thought. Smiled in relief when his eyes finally met hers. "Are you with me, Tanjirou-san?"

Tanjirou was still gasping. His body still trembled uncontrollably. But finally, he could recognise her, so he nodded. Almost unconsciously, he reached out and pulled her into a hug, seeking warmth and comfort.

"... I'm sorry," he mumbled, nuzzling into her neck and breathing in her calming scent.

"It's not your fault," Kanao said in return. Her hand caressed his hair gently, her touch soothing, just like what his mother did when he was young. "It's never your fault. If anything, it's my fault for not coming sooner."

Tanjirou shook his head. "You didn't know that it would happen. It's not your fault."

"Then how could it be your fault when you are not even a Demon Slayer?"

"I was there. I sensed his scent—"

"And you could not do anything," Kanao interjected, pulling away so she could stare into his eyes. "You were a civilian. A coal-seller. A normal human. There was no way you could retaliate against a demon, let alone Kibutsuji Muzan."

Tanjirou choked at that name. The name he couldn't utter even in his own mind. It was a curse, a taboo, to speak of his name. The name of the demon who turned him into one, the murderer of his family

"Shh." Suddenly, her palm covered his lips, causing him to jolt back into reality. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said his name. I—we—know that demons cannot say his name nor divulge any information about him. But, just know that you would not have been able to do anything anyway, even if you were stronger, faster and more alert."

Tanjirou pulled down her hand. "H-How would you know?"

Kanao bit her lip, hesitant. She looked down at their joined hand.

"... Because it has happened before," she eventually said. "It was not even the Demon King but an Upper Kizuki. Six years ago, Kanae-nee-san was stronger, faster and much more alert than you, but she still could not win against that demon."

Kanae-nee-san. The only other person whom Kanao would call her older sister.

"So that's her name," Tanjirou whispered. Kanae. "The person who gave you the coin."

Kanao blinked. Then, she smiled, her tense shoulders loosening. "Yes."

"... What kind of person was she?" Tanjirou decided to ask, because he had barely escaped from the nightmare and it wouldn't do for both of them to continue talking about the dark past at this moment.

Kanao hummed in thought. Tanjirou gently guided her so she could sit on the tatami beside him with her back leaning comfortably on the wall.

"Kanae-nee-san was a Demon Slayer who smiled a lot," Kanao began, looking up at the bright ceiling. "She looked like Shinobu-nee-san with her hair down, with two butterfly hair clips adorning both sides of her head. She was kind to everyone, but liked to tease people a lot. Especially whenever Shinobu-nee-san was in the same room with Tomioka-sama."

Tanjirou blinked. "... The two of them have been like that for six years?"

"Yes." Kanao smiled, before abruptly forming an 'O' in a sudden realisation. "Kanae-nee-san always said 'ara ara~' whenever Shinobu-nee-san talked about Tomioka-sama."

"Just like Mum," Tanjirou blurted out.

Kanao chuckled. "Indeed."

"No wonder you were always wary whenever Mum did that."

"Shinobu-nee-san always looked as if she was constipated whenever Kanae-nee-san said that."

Tanjirou unwittingly huffed out a laugh.

He could not ignore the pang in his chest. Nor the shadow of his blood-drenched family in his periphery. But Kanao was here, and she remembered who his family was. Remembered the time when little Rokuta wanted to be carried. When Shigeru held his hand and Takeo demanded his older brother to chop wood with him. When Hanako crowned him with a ring of wildflowers and Nezuko teased him with a smile on her face. When Mum hugged him and caressed his hair as if he was a little boy again.

Kanao remembered them before their deaths, and that was all he needed.

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Tenma came cawing the moment night fell once more, bringing another mission.

"It's normal," Kanao told Tanjirou when he frowned at the crow. "There are thousands more demons out there. We can't afford to rest for too long."

Tanjirou blinked. Tilted his head before pointing at himself.

It took Kanao a few moments to understand his silent question. Tanjirou could speak but most of the time he chose not to, preferring to cover his mouth with the bamboo. Something to do with conserving energy by being less sentient and more passive, or so he'd claimed. There was only so much energy he could gain from a few drops of her blood, after all.

"Sometimes, I used my vacation leaves to visit Nishiazuma. Oyakata-sama told us that demon slayers are still humans, and constantly slaying demons without rest will take a toll on our body and mind," Kanao explained. "Though, most of the time it was part of a mission to visit your family. Do you remember Himejima-sama? We were there to check the talismans."

Tanjirou nodded. Satisfied with her answer, he fell silent once more.

Kanao looked up the starry night, thoughts racing.

The Kamado talismans. The one that supposedly could hide the Kamado family from demons, and whose variant was used to hide the Demon Slayer headquarters. The one that had been breached by Kibutsuji Muzan just a week ago.

"Tenma," Kanao called for her kasugai crow. She waited until Tenma landed on her arm, facing her. "Did you receive any news from Himejima-sama?"

"Rock, not found," Tenma shook her head. "Mission."

Kanao frowned in thought. Gyoumei was the one who had told her about the true nature of the talismans. However, the Rock Hashira was on a mission, so the verbal message Kanao had sent through Tenma before the Naie mission had not reached his ears.

Should she send Tenma to Gyoumei again? But the Hashiras were rarely in the headquarters except during the annual Hashira meeting. It would be inefficient for Tenma to look for his whereabouts across the country. Furthermore, considering that talismans of similar nature were also used in the Demon Slayer Corps headquarter, the leader of the organisation should know about it as well.

It was simply an assumption, but the headquarters would remain vulnerable should she choose not to report it. Her home would be in danger of attack from Kibutsuji Muzan.

So Kanao decided to flip her coin.

Heads.

"... Pass this message to Oyakata-sama," Kanao ordered her kasugai crow. "'Headquarter. Talismans. Ineffective against Muzan.' Do not tell anyone else but him or Himejima Gyoumei-sama."

Tenma bobbed her head. "Secret?"

"Yes," Kanao gave her a treat and stroked her feathers. "Now, go. Meet me again in Otobe."

As she watched Tenma disappear into the night sky, Kanao held Tanjirou's hand, pulling him towards their next destination.

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Tanjirou may not have the best New Year here, but I hope you guys do. Happy New Year! :))