Oops, I Did It Again Chapter 4

Jane never knew what Cavanaugh had told Korsak when he asked Jane to ask Korsak to come to his office. Cavanaugh asked him to check with HR to see what can be done. Korsak complied and returned the next day to fill Cavanaugh in.

The next month after Jane's altercation with Crowe, Cavanaugh set up a meeting with HR after he had reviewed the anger management information and scheduled Jane. Right after he sent the email to both Jane and Korsak, he called Korsak to come to his office. They laid out a course of action. HR met with Cavanaugh the next day and then Korsak, Frost, and Crowe were all called in to give statements to HR. Jane had to go to HR after she met with Cavanaugh when she returned from her suspension. At that time Jane gave her statement of what had happened that day. This documentation was now part of her official BPD file.

Having the event documented in her official BPD file made Jane nervous. If she continued to get reprimanded and/or receive letters of reprimand or suspensions she could be fired. She thought about all of that after she met with Maura. She figured she better take her therapy sessions seriously. She didn't want to lose her job. Plus, she enjoyed talking with Maura. She never knew she could enjoy therapy sessions before.

First Therapy Session Jane's POV

That went a lot better than I thought it would. I thought I was going to be bored stiff and hate it but I actually enjoyed talking with her. I felt like I was talking with a friend. Maybe having coffee and sitting on the park bench helped.

None of my previous department shrinks would even consider doing anything like that. This woman was open to it. Maybe she will get in trouble from her supervisor for it. I hope not because I was comfortable enough to open up a little to her and shit if I'm not looking forward to talking with her again. I never thought I would ever look forward to seeing a therapist.

I hope my Ma doesn't find out I am in therapy again. She sure adds to my frustration with everything. She always needs to be all up in my business. Maybe I should talk to Maura about Ma. Maybe she can help me cope with having an overbearing mother. I guess I should ask her what topics we are allowed to discuss being as this is anger management therapy. Ma does make me angry though so it should fit into the program somewhere. I wish I would have been paying more attention the first time when the guy was going over the program. Maybe I can look it up online. I don't want Maura to think that I didn't take the first session seriously. I mean I didn't but after rethinking it, I should have.

First Therapy Session Maura's POV

Wow, I have never met anybody like Jane. I knew she would be nervous or closed off about having to go to therapy based on some of the information I read in her file but that didn't seem to be the case at all.

She seemed relaxed, especially after we got coffee and went to the park to talk. Here I was nervous about working with her. If I simply have to have coffee with her and talk on a park bench, I think these sessions might go well. Maybe I can be an anger management therapist after all. I know I was reluctant to take this on when my supervisor asked me. Jane was a late addition to the class and he didn't have an available therapist to work with her. He knew I had some reservations but after he read her case, he thought I might be the perfect person for her. I am looking forward to our next session. I hope the deep breathing exercises will give her some relief until she learns more techniques from me.

Next Therapy Session Jane's POV

I was going to be late for my next therapy session. We caught a case and Frost and I were out gathering up evidence. Maura had given me her cell number realizing I could be called away at any time. I sent a quick text to Maura, "Hey Maura, I caught a case and I am running a little late. Had to track down some evidence. Can we meet at 4 PM?

I received an almost immediate response from Maura, 'Yes, see you at the coffee shop at 4 PM.'

That was a relief. I don't like being late for appointments and I was looking forward to seeing Maura. There is just something about her. I sent a quick text back, "Thanks, see you at 4."

Jane sat there with a huge smile on her face, so Frost asked, "What are you smiling about partner?"

"Nothing!" Jane quickly replied, knowing she had just been caught thinking about Maura.

"Right, that smile sure looks like nothing to me. I wasn't born yesterday, Jane, are you seeing someone? Oh, that's it, you are seeing someone new and you didn't want to tell me." Frost stated as he gave Jane a huge knowing smile.

"What? No, I was just sending a text to Maura to let her know that I was running late and asked if we could meet at 4 instead of 3:30"

"Who's Maura? Wait, is that the name of your anger management therapist?" Frost curiously asked.

"Yes, that is her first name." Jane replied, trying hard not to smile. Just thinking about Maura seemed to make her smile and she was trying so hard not to feed into Frost's prying questions.

"And you are on a first name basis and texting with your therapist after only one session?"

"Ya, so?" Jane said rather flippantly.

Frost replied rather quickly, "Jane, you hate therapy and therapists."

"Not all therapists." Jane stated as she smirked at him.

"No, just every single therapist you have ever had, this one must be different."

"She is. Hey, I need to go or I am going to be late for my session." Jane said as she stood up and grabbed her blazer and car keys.

Frost smiled at her and said, "Look at you, all excited to go to your session."

"Shut up Frost. See you tomorrow."

"Okay, bye Jane."

Jane felt the smile creep up on her face as soon as she opened up the door to the stairwell. She didn't want to wait for the elevator. She took the stairs two at a time so she could make it to her session faster. She wanted to be early so she could purchase their drinks and pastries before Maura arrived.

Maura walked in promptly at 4 PM looking beautiful in another form fitting dress. Jane wondered if she always dressed like this. She spotted Jane right away and noticed that Jane already had a cup for her. She approached the table and greeted Jane as she rose to say hello. After their initial greetings Maura said, "Well shall we go see if our bench is available?"

"Sure, I picked up a pastry for you as well. I wasn't sure what kind you like so I have several so hopefully one of them will be okay with you."

"Thank you, that is so thoughtful of you." Maura stated as Jane held the door opened for her to exit the coffee shop. They made their way over to the bench. Jane once again made sure it was clean enough for Maura to sit on.

Once they were seated Maura asked, "Did you have the opportunity to try the deep breathing exercises I told you about last week?"

"Yes, and that seemed to calm me done. Thank you!" Jane said as she smiled at Maura.

"You are welcome, I am glad that the deep breathing helped. I have some other techniques I need to review with you. There are certain things that you need to have in your anger management toolbox. We need to spend our sessions discussing the items that you need in your toolbox." Maura explained.

She pulled out a folder and sat it between them. "I also need you to understand that what you think affects how you feel and act. If you would please try and think of a situation this week that upset you, how did it make you feel and how did you react?"

Jane took a minute to think and then replied, "I was upset when I saw Crowe when I came back in from tracking down a suspect. He gave me a flippant look and I just took a deep breath like you showed me and did it a few more times and I settled myself down and went on with my work."

Maura asked Jane, "Do you feel as though the anger is part of your personality?"

Jane responded, "No, I mean yes, but with your help I can learn to keep it at bay."

"I like that, I was going to say that most people feel that way. They feel it is a part of them and they are just an angry person and that will never change. I can tell that you are not an angry person. Certain situations just make you angry. We will review the ways to help you control that anger so your actions do not threaten your job that I sense you love very much." Maura informed Jane.

"Yes, I love my job very much and would love to keep it. So, I need all the tools you can give me for my toolbox. Deep breathing worked this past week but I know I still get a little angry when I see him, so I need to be ready in case he ever decides to confront me again."

"I love how you are using the same terminology as me. Thank you! You are making my job easier."

"I will admit I didn't think any of this would help me but it does, so I will continue to listen and learn. I am a hot-blooded Italian woman, we are prone to be angry and very loud. I know that angry is not genetic but I firmly believe it is taught through actions taken in our environment."

"Yes, if your parents yell and scream all the time, you would tend to grow up to yell and scream all the time. However, you can be the catalyst for change in that dynamic."

"I have always boxed to let out my anger. I felt like I needed to hit something sometimes so I would hit the punching bag. This time though I just couldn't help myself, Crowe just wouldn't stop with his comments. I hit him and knew it was the wrong thing to do but once I did it, I couldn't take it back. I was so happy they didn't make me apologize to him. At least not yet and I feel as though he would need to apologize first before I apologized for breaking his nose."

"I understand, it is a myth that boxing helps relieve your anger. Studies have shown that often times boxing allows you to be angrier." Maura explained to Jane. "Well, our hour is up for today. I want to leave you with this worksheet to record your anger this next week. It is an anger control plan. The first thing it has you do is write down some goals that you would like to achieve while we work together. It is fine if you only come up with one goal, if you have more that would be great, but one is fine. Next you need to look at what are some things that seem to trigger your anger. Then identify some signs that might be visible that might trigger the anger. Finally, see if any of the items in your toolbox can help you keep your anger in check. I know we still need to put more items in your toolbox and will work on that goal each week. That is one goal on my list to accomplish working with you. Do you have any questions for me?"

"No, I seem to be taking all of the information in. Thank you for your willingness to continue to work with me and for letting me use an outside office. Your office is nice but I prefer the outdoor office."

"No problem, Jane. My supervisor balked a little at first but I told him that I needed to make a connection with you and this seemed to work so he is letting me run with it. As long as I get results that is what the bottom line is. See you next week at 3:30 or would you prefer 4?"

"No, 3:30 is fine. Can we meet at the coffee shop first? As long as I don't catch a new case, I should be fine. I will let you know if something comes up though."

They both rose up from the bench and Maura said, "Okay, I will see you next week at 3:30 at the coffee shop. Goodbye Jane."

"Goodbye Maura." Jane said as she walked over to her car that was parked close by. Maura walked back to her office so she could write down her notes from today's session.