18

"Thirty metres high, another twenty metres below ground, Flat Holm Lighthouse was constructed in 1737" Ianto said as the boat crested a wave and Gwen yelped, clinging to the seat while Ianto stands as if on dry land. Jack was also standing, albeit holding on to something and he was watching Ianto take each wave with a slight bend of his knees while talking. "Please stick to the path, do not wander off if you see a fluffy bunny rabbit Gwen … I am looking at you … there are hidden drops and we may never find you."

"Ianto … how often do you come here?" Jack asked with sudden comprehension.

"Once a month … usually a week after you" Ianto replied calmly "You know you never fill out your reports properly, and who else can keep that boiler going in winter?"

"Ianto!" Helen's voice boomed across the water and Ianto smiled softly at Jack, then waved as the black woman on the dock waved back with delight, then added "AND the Captain. Did you two make up then?"

"Make up?" Jack asked "Hello Helen love."

"Yes. Hello Margaret" Ianto smiled as he spoke at the same time and Jack turned to look at Ianto.

"Her name is Helen."

"Of course it is" Ianto said like Jack was being silly "What else would it be?"

"You called her Margaret"

"Surely you misheard me Sir" Ianto said as he jumped up on the dock and kissed the woman's cheek, her deep laugh as she slapped at him booming across the water then her whisper to him that he had slipped up there was missed by the others who were all arguing about getting off the boat as well.

"Right, the coordinates place it near the lighthouse on the cliff over there" Ianto pointed and turned to Owen, "Perhaps breaking out the flamethrowers would be a good start?"

"I still don't see why I do not get one" Gwen whined as she followed the rest of the team, Ianto ignoring her as Toshiko answered.

"Because you can't work one Gwen. No time to teach you, we are trained" Toshiko tried to sound calm but really … could have kicked her over the edge of the cliff they were walking along, Jack powering ahead with his flamethrower swinging from his hand. Toshiko added "Ianto doesn't have one. See him whingeing?"

Owen happily adjusted the straps on his own flame thrower, strapped across his back even though they were the size of a child's backpack with a small wand like trigger, more like something you would think the gardener would use to spray an errant weed than a destructive weapon capable of killing a man.

Or hopefully a Blob.

"Shit" Jack said as he came to a halt in front of a blue blob the size of a VW that had long tendrils waving in the wind like seaweed would underwater "Is that it?"

"Well … some of it" Ianto replied, his sigh deep now "Tentacles. Great. I love tentacles."

"Who doesn't" Martha agreed standing next to Ianto with matching stances, their hands behind their backs as she fiddled with their cufflinks "Ideas?"

"We send Owen in first to see what happens" Ianto said and Owen swung to glare at him as Jack roared with mirth.

"Stop it naughty tiger, claws showing" Jack scolded "I don't want Owen in there. Some of them are taller than him …wait… is that a sheep in that one?"

A large jellylike substance nearby quivered as it seemed to examine them, their reflected images distorted in the pale blue goo like a bubble of water that was undulating, caught in it was a single sheep, clearly in the stages of being absorbed, melting like acid was eating it. Well … I guess that was what was happening ... they were seeing the stomach part?

"Ew" Gwen groaned.

"I hope it's dead" Toshiko said in agreement as Ianto considered then said as Jack reached for his Webley "Fire sir… not bullets. If you hit it, it explodes like that thing in the car park … remember? Only … the little blobs will all start to grow and get angry too … not just drip from your hair like the Clorsik. Do you want lots of tiny ones all over you? Hmmmm?"

"Fair point" Jack agreed, reaching for his little flamethrower and taking a deep breath, "Let's see what happens here."

Owen fired, Jack swinging to glare at him as he took his thunder and then Owen was on the ground, Ianto on top of him struggling with him to turn off the bloody thing as the Blob made an ungodly noise and started to slither towards them, falling in to four pieces that were equally pissed.

"OK" Jack said to no one in particular "I guess fire doesn't kill them … just pisses them off."

"IANTO" Martha yelled as she started to step backwards "Ideas!"

"Don't move" Ianto replied as he looked up at the thing, still hold in Owen down as he assessed "No eyes. Must work on vibrations. No movement, stop talking."

Everyone froze, then Toshiko hissed through her breath "Where the fuck is Cooper?"

Everyone turned their heads to see Gwen sprinting in a very amazingly effortless way back down the track … not easy in those boots … heading for the beach below as she screamed at the top of her lungs.

The Blobs slithered past the silent party and Ianto let his head fall to Owen's chest as he cursed quietly in several languages.

The things merely raced after Gwen.