RING! RING! I jolted awake when my alarm went off; it sounded awfully similar to the school bell. I cracked my eyes open and glanced at the clock: 6:30 AM. I sighed deeply and hoisted myself out of bed. I leaned against the wall, taking a moment to catch my breath, and headed to the bathroom. I turned the light on, blinking a few times to adjust, and washed my face. I brushed my hair, my eyes glued to my face the entire time. I headed to my room and braced myself for the worst part of my morning: getting dressed. I opened my drawers and sifted through my clothing options. After many minutes of frustration and tears, I finally settled on a purple t-shirt, jean capris, and white tennis shoes. I glanced at the mirror, remembering that I threw a blanket over it to hide my shameful reflection, and headed to the kitchen.
"Good morning, sweetheart!" Mom called. She smiled brightly and hugged me tightly. I lightly returned the hug. "What would you like for breakfast?"
I eyed the bacon, eggs, pancakes, and orange juice lined along the counter, still steaming from being fresh off the stove. My stomach grumbled, and my mouth watered. I gulped.
"Uh... maybe just a granola bar." I said, walking over to the cupboard. I opened it and scanned the shelves. Behind me, I heard my mother quietly sigh. After slowly snacking on my "breakfast", Mom and I piled into the minivan and drove to the school. At the parking lot, I paused to stare at the front of the school. There were a couple more minutes until the five minute warning bell rang, so many students hung around the front. I watched them laughing and chatting with each other. Such beautiful people... Why couldn't I be like them?
I glanced down at my body, and I was reminded of the reason.
"Have a great day, Ciela." Mom said, giving my shoulder a squeeze. "It's a new day. Maybe things will be better."
"I doubt it." I mumbled, getting out of the car. "See you later."
I closed the door, and Mom paused to watch me a few more moments before she set the car to drive and rode out of the parking lot. I gripped my backpack straps and headed for the school entrance.
Perhaps my mother was right about today. I endured the first half of my school day peacefully; I started to believe I was finally being given relief.
That is, until lunchtime came. The bell rang as loud as my stomach. The granola bar I had for breakfast lasted me for one class before my stomach erupted with whale calls. I forced myself to walk at the same pace as the students around me. I entered the cafeteria, and the savory smells of multiple meal choices wafted into my nose, making my stomach growl even louder. As I got closer to the line, I pondered about what kind of food I would get today.
The cheeseburger looks really good... I thought. No. I'm getting a salad.
I snagged a salad and paused at the condiment bar. My eyes settled on the bacon bits, croutons, and cheese.
Of course you want that. No wonder why people call you Fattela. Go on, pile on those condiments like the ugly, obese dog you are.
I gulped and turned away. I headed to the cashier, paid for my piece of lettuce, and walked through the cafeteria. The chatting and laughing heightened in this reverberating room. I set my eyes on the double doors on the other side of the room.
If I can just make it to the doors, I can escape quickly.
"Hey, there she is!" A female voice cut above the noise and through my heart.
Keep walking. Ignore them. You're almost there.
"Yo, Fattela!" another voice called out.
You're so close. Don't turn around. Don't acknowledge them.
A hand clamped down on my shoulder, and a few nails dug into my skin. The hand tugged harshly, forcing me to whirl around.
"Hey, we were talking to you." The hissing words belonged to the black-headed snake. Her green eyes narrowed on me, and her mouth was twisted into a mild snarl. "Did the fat in your ears prevent you from hearing us?"
"Leave me alone, Jane." I said, avoiding her eyes. "Don't you have anything better to do than pick on others?"
"Oh, I see. The ugly caterpillar is starting to grow a backbone." Jane said. Her minions stood behind her, each glaring at me. Jane eyed the salad on my tray and smirked. "I see you're finally making the right food decisions. I was worried you'd die young from a heart attack. But your salad looks a little dry. Here, let me help you dress it."
Jane reached over and grabbed a ranch bottle. A wicked grin spread across her face as she unscrewed the top. My brain couldn't react fast enough for me to move out of the way. Jane smashed her hands over the bottle, and the brimming contents of the ranch bottle shot out and splattered all over me. I gasped, which could be heard throughout all the corners of the suddenly silent cafeteria. The ranch rolled down my neck and shirt, landing on my pants, my tray, and the floor. My lip quivered and tears streamed down my face, something Jane took deep pleasure in. She tossed her head back and laughed. The brainless minions behind her joined in her laughter, and in a matter of seconds, the entire cafeteria erupted in snickers and giggles. Jane threw the empty ranch bottle at me, and it smacked against my chest with a sickening smack. She might as well have shot me. Over her shoulder, the lunch ladies were finally noticing what was going on. One of them was on the phone, talking frantically into it, and another was stomping towards the crime scene with a janitor. I dropped my lunch tray, and it clattered in the leftover ranch pile, sending drops of dressing and lettuce in different directions.
I turned around and sprinted out of the cafeteria. I ran down the halls, ignoring the confused, curious eyes of other students and the teachers shouting at me to walk. By the time I left the school campus, I was already panting like a dog. The burning adrenaline carried me all the way to my house. I shoved my door open, ignorant to the loud crash it made from hitting the wall.
"What in the-?!" My mother burst from her room. She saw the ranch covering my front, and her jaw dropped. "Ciela? What in the world happened to you?"
I ran upstairs, taking two at a time, and locked myself in the bathroom. I heard footsteps approach the door.
"Ciela! Please, open up!" my mom said, knocking on the door.
I stared at my horrendous reflection. I was drenched in sweat, tears, and hardening ranch. My face was swollen and covered with blotchy, red skin from crying excessively. I tore my shirt off, not caring that the ranch dribbled into my hair and the white tank top I wore underneath, and clutched it in my hands as tightly as I could, imagining it was the necks of Jane and her minions. The doorknob jiggled, and my mom's knuckles against the door raised my frustration levels. I grabbed a roll of toilet paper and opened the door. Mom's eyes widened at the sight of my swollen, tear-stained face, the balled-up shirt in my fist, and the leftover bits of dressing that I missed. I stormed past her and towards my room.
"Ciela, what happened?! Tell me, please!" Mom said, the stern in her voice surfacing. "Ciela, stop right now and speak to me!"
"What do you think happened?!" I screamed. I whirled around and chucked my t-shirt at her feet. "This is all your fault! Why couldn't you and Dad have fed me more vegetables and kept me moving? Why couldn't you let me be skinny?! I'll never be good enough for anything! I hate you! I hate my school! I hate my life!"
I stepped into my room and slammed the door shut. I locked the door and collapsed onto my butt right next to it.
"Ciela, please, come out." Mom said softly.
"No! Go away!" I wept. "Leave me here to die!"
I heard my mom trying to hold back a quiet sob, and after a few moments, I heard her footsteps fade away. Her bedroom door closed, and I allowed myself to raise the volume of my cries. Snot and tears covered my face. I glanced at the clock occasionally to see how long I've been crying. Once I finally calmed, I narrowed it down to a few hours. I leaned my head against the door and stared at the ceiling. I checked the clock: 9:57 PM. I lowered my eyes and caught sight of my laptop. I hoisted myself up and walked over to my desk. I clutched my Teen Titans necklace as I turned my computer on.
9:58 PM.
I tore off the last of the toilet paper from its roll and blew my nose into it. I crumbled it up and threw it aside into the pile of used toilet paper that had already formed. I changed into a new white tank top with a coral t-shirt over, clean of tears or ranch.
I booted up a page on the internet. I plugged in my headphones and pulled up the first episode of Teen Titans.
9:59 PM.
Please. Take me away from this awful world.
I pressed play. A loud sound boomed in my earphones, and I cried out and yanked them out of my ears. A bright, intense light exploded from the screen, and I covered my eyes to block it. A force pulled me forward, like someone grabbed my soul and yanked it. The light filled my vision, and after a moment, it changed to complete darkness.
10:00 PM.
