Climbing into the backseat of the T-Car, Cyborg revved it up and transported us into the heart of Jump City, where we got calls of someone stealing from a jewelry store.
But in this case, "someone" is really "something".
"What the heck is that?!" Cyborg cried. Cyborg stopped the car, the headlights shining on Fang with jewelry tangled in his fingers. Severe chills rushed down my spine at the sight of the mutant- a boy with the body of a human and the head of an entire spider.
Seeing him in person, I knew I'd be having nightmares for the next couple of days.
Holding jewelry in one hand, Fang pulled out an energy gun and shot a purple ray of energy at us. Cyborg shifted the car into reverse and pulled us back. Using his four spider legs, Fang leaped into the air, onto the roof of the jewelry store, and scurried away.
Starfire, the closest to him, shot starbolts at Fang as he ran along the side of buildings. Next, Robin shot energy disks. Finally, Cyborg pulled out a heat-seeking missile and launched it at Fang. He dodged each of these attacks. Fang turned around and hocked a huge, spider-web loogie. It hit Beast Boy and attached him to the side of the building. He shot more at Starfire, but she dodged them. He created a wall of gooey web to try and stop Robin's motorcycle and the T-Car from advancing. Using his astral magic, Raven lifted the road up like a ramp, and we flew over the web wall.
Fang unleashed a rain of spider webs. One portion slathered across the T-Car's windshield and Cyborg pulled over. Another portion hit Starfire and glued her to the ground, but she used her starbolts to free herself and continue pursuing Fang.
"That is one freaky dude." Cyborg said, using the windshield wipers to get rid of the goo.
"You don't have to see the worst part of him." I said with a shudder.
We got out of the car and regrouped with Starfire, who carried Robin, and Robin, who had been paralyzed by Fang's venom.
"He is... okay?" Starfire said, setting Robin up.
"He will be. The venom's effect is only temporary." Cyborg said.
"He's getting... away! We have to... go after him!" Robin grunted as he tried to move. He tipped over, and Starfire caught him and straightened him.
"You mean we have to go after him." Raven said. "You're in no condition to fight. You should go home and let the venom wear off."
"But-"
"Dude, we can handle it. The guy's got a spider for a head. He won't be hard to find." Beast Boy said.
Back at Titans' Tower, Starfire helped treat Robin's paralysis with Tamaranean acupuncture.
"Why is it that you came with us?" Robin said as he hung upside-down, Starfire holding onto his ankles.
"While the others have to deal with a vicious bug army, I want to be part of the hilarity that you have to go through." I said, leaning against the back of the couch with my arms crossed.
"What-?" Starfire let go of Robin and he landed on the ground.
I pulled out my communicator and contacted Raven. Starfire and Robin looked over my shoulder. "How's your search going?"
"We found something worse." Raven said while she, Cyborg, and Beast Boy stood on the bridge. She aimed the camera of the communicator away from her, and Robin sent the video onto the large TV screen for a bigger image. We saw a tsunami of giant moths flying towards them.
"Uh..." Cyborg said in the background. "We're gonna need backup."
"We're on our way." Robin said, and he and Starfire hurried towards the door.
The image turned into static and changed to the image of a giant, humanoid moth man.
"Don't bother." the moth man, Killer Moth said. The background lit up, revealing the silhouette of glass containers filled to the brim with moths wriggling and buzzing inside. "You'll only defeat a few of my children, but unless you want your city reduced to a moth-eaten wasteland, you'll do exactly as I say."
"What do you want?" Robin said.
"My demands are simple: the city will declare me ruler, the Teen Titans will surrender, and Robin... will take this lovely young lady to her junior prom."
"Hi, Robbie-poo!" The image of a teenage girl with shoulder-length, blond hair and blue eyes took up one-third of the screen, and she waved flirtatiously.
I covered my mouth to stifle my laughter. Robin's eye twitched. "Um... I'm sorry, what?"
"Her name is Kitten, and you will take her to prom!" Killer Moth said, but I was too distracted by Kitten making kissing faces at Robin to feel threatened.
"I am... confused." Starfire said. "What is this 'prom' you speak of?"
"Um... We're going to need a moment." I said. I grabbed Robin and Starfire's arms and dragged them out of the room.
"So... Let me get this straight." Robin said. "That giant moth man is threatening to destroy the city with his bug army, and the only way to stop him... is if I take that crazy girl on a date?"
"That sums up this episode, yes." I said.
Robin scowled. "Stop smiling."
I bit my lip. "I'm not smiling. I'm totally not enjoying this right now."
"So, this 'prom' is not some sort of earthly duel?" Starfire said.
"Sadly, no."
Starfire scowled. Robin pulled out his communicator.
"Cyborg, report. How bad is it?" he said.
"Take a look!" Cyborg said. The camera shifted to one of the moths that he struggled to keep from snacking on his face. It roared, showing off its teeth. "Does that answer your question?! If you're going to do something, you better do it soon!"
The call cut out. Robin glanced at me as I folded my arms and pointed to Kitten back in Ops as she fluttered her eyelids like a hummingbird's wings. Robin sighed.
"I'll be right back." he mumbled, slapping his communicator back onto his belt and stomping into Ops. I heard Kitten meow as the doors close, and I bit my tongue so hard it started bleeding.
"Why do you enjoy our friend's suffering?" Starfire said.
I cleared my throat. "Sorry, I can't help it. This episode always cracked me up." I glanced at Starfire. Now that I think about it, she's not a giant, fiery ball of jealousy at the moment. In fact, she's taking this whole thing rather well.
Robin stepped out of Ops and shuddered dramatically. "Okay, I sent the others to find out more about Killer Moth, Kitten, and how to stop the mutant insects. I want you two to help them out." Robin turned to me. "The sooner you tell them what's going on, the sooner I can break up with Kitten."
"You better go get ready. You don't want to keep your date waiting." I said. Robin's scowl deepened. "Oh, come on, at least pretend to be excited."
"I would rather die." Robin walked away, leaving a trail of brooding behind him.
"Starfire, you're going to burn a line in the floor with all your pacing." I said, sitting cross-legged on her bed.
"I cannot help it. I feel uneasy about this situation." Starfire said.
"Are you worried about Robin?"
"Most definitely..."
I cupped my chin in my hand. "If only there was a way for us to keep an eye on him and his date..."
Starfire stopped her pacing and turned to me. "What do you mean?"
I stood up. "Starfire, how would you like to be my date to prom?"
Starfire grinned. "Robin did say to find more information about this Kitten..."
"We'll need the proper clothing to fit in."
Starfire clapped her hands. "How exciting! We must go immediately!" Starfire grabbed my arm and dragged me out the door.
The yacht where the junior prom was located sounded its horn, temporarily drowning out the bass-rich music. Boys and girls dressed in their best walked up the ramp and onto the yacht. At the bottom were two purple banners. The top one read, "JUNIOR", and the bottom read, "YOUR DATE WITH DESTINY".
How fitting. I thought, since "Date With Destiny" was the title of this episode.
"Ready to crash a prom?" I said, tugging on the cap-sleeves of my red flare dress. I wiggled my toes anxiously inside my brown, calf-high boots. I fidgeted with my Teen Titans necklace. I glanced over at Starfire, who wore a long, shimmering, purple dress, white opera gloves, and her boots underneath. She held a white rose in her hands.
"Of course." Starfire said, and we walked towards the crowd.
The revving of Robin's motorcycle filled my ears as he pulled up next to the crowd. Dressed in a black and white tux, he climbed off the motorcycle, tugged at his collar, and mumbled to himself. Starfire tapped her finger against his shoulder, and he tensed and turned around.
"What are you doing here?!" Robin said in disbelief.
"I believe you have forgotten a ceremonial dead plant." Starfire said, pinning the white boutonniere on Robin's tuxedo.
"I told you to track down Killer Moth."
"The others are doing that just fine. We decided to come and learn more about Kitten." I said.
"You may require saving. This 'Kitten' is perhaps a form of ooze monster in disguise. She certainly is ugly like a monster, yes?" Starfire said.
Robin opened his mouth to respond, and I would've loved to hear it, but the honk of a car horn interrupted our conversation. A light pink limo pulled up, and Kitten emerged from it, dressed in a long, pink dress and pink heels that perfectly matched the long car. My eyes zeroed in on the white corsage pinned to her dress, which hid the remote that threatened to release the moth swarms cooped up in her house.
"Yoo-hoo, Robbie-poo!" Kitten called, waving in our direction.
Robin sighed. "On second thought, maybe you should stick around."
We watched from afar as Kitten talked loudly to attract the attention of the other prom attendees while Robin's cringe grew more and more obvious. He grabbed her elbow with an angry, forced smile, and led her up the ramp to the yacht.
"Come on." I whispered. Starfire nodded, and we hurried onto the yacht.
The decorations of the dance matched Kitten's outfit, and I wondered if she was in charge of the committee that put everything together. The tables were decorated with pink table cloths, pink and purple balloons, and pink flower centerpieces. Starfire and I hung around the food table and watched Robin and Kitten, who sat at a table across the way. Robin's arms were crossed tightly as he rocked his chair back and forth with a scowl, and Kitten sat across from him and stared at him with a dreamy smile.
Kitten stood up from her chair, knocking it to the ground, and walked over to Robin. She tugged at his arms, but she couldn't get him out of the chair. After another whispered conversation, Robin sighed in defeat and Kitten yanked him onto the dance floor.
"Oh, Robin, of course! I'd love to dance with you!" Kitten giggled as she swung him around the dance floor.
"Are all youth occasions on your planet so... overbearing?" Starfire said.
"Oh, you have no idea. You should see what prom is like in my world." I said, taking a sip of punch. I shuddered. "Actually, it's better that you're ignorant. Trust me."
After the song ended, Robin pulled away and tried to walk back to the table, but another slow song came on, and Kitten grabbed him and danced with him again. She laid her head against his chest, and Robin cringed and pulled out his communicator.
"See the flower on Kitten's dress?" I said.
"Yes. It is the only thing nice about her." Starfire hissed.
"Underneath that flower is the remote that will release Killer Moth's swarm. If we get it from her, she won't be a threat."
"But what if she presses the button before we acquire the remote?"
"Destroying it will stop it, as well as result in... an interesting side effect. On the bright side, it means we can to slap Kitten around."
Starfire smiled and turned back to Robin and Kitten. As the song continued to play, Kitten pulled away and gazed at Robin.
"Kiss me." she said, puckering her lips.
"Sorry, I don't like you that way." Robin said. He smirked. "As a matter of fact, I just don't like you."
"What?!"
Robin closed his communicator. "Killer Moth's being taken down as we speak. We're done here." He tucked it into his coat pocket and walked towards me and Starfire.
"No, we are not!" Kitten ripped off the flower. "Daddy's not calling the shots tonight, Robbie-poo! I am!"
"Daddy?!" Robin said.
"Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that." I said.
"Now, if you know what's good for you and your stupid city, you better pucker up!" Kitten grabbed Robin's coat and forced her lips closer to his face.
Robin shoved his hand against Kitten's face and pushed her back. "No thanks. I don't kiss lunatics." He grabbed at the remote, and they both engaged in a tug-of-war for possession of the remote. Robin yanked the remote away, making Kitten lose her balance, and he caught her in a dip.
In her upside-down view, Kitten gasped. "Fang?!"
Robin followed her line of sight, and his eyes widened at the sight of the mutant spider boy walking towards him. "That's your boyfriend?!" He was too shocked to stop Kitten from taking back the remote.
"I forgot to mention that, too..." I said.
Fang swung his spider legs at Robin and knocked him away. Before he could get to Kitten, Starfire shot a starbolt at him.
"Are you all right, Robin?" Starfire said as he stood up.
Robin smiled and tore his tuxedo clean off, revealing his normal uniform underneath. "Never better."
"Fangy-poo! You really do care!" Kitten said, hurrying over to Fang as he stood up from the ruins of one of the tables.
"Let's never fight again, baby." Fang said. His spider legs surrounded her, each with different kinds of jewelry that he stole from stores the night before.
Kitten squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled away, and I covered my eyes to block out the image of the two freaks kissing. The sound, however, carved into my ears, and I gagged.
"I haven't felt this disgusted since I caught the Eranian measles." Starfire said. "Now may I engage in the butt-whooping?"
"Be my guest." I said, peeking through my hands to ensure the horror movie was over.
Starfire smiled, and in a burst of star energy, she burned her prom dress off, revealing her regular outfit underneath.
Fang shot a glob of his adhesive spider web, and it hit Starfire and glued her to the railing. He shot venom blasts at Robin, but he backflipped out of the way. The couple I saw at the punch bowl walked in front of Robin and got hit by the venom blast, freezing them in place.
I tapped on Kitten's shoulder, and she turned around. "Hi." I said, and I grabbed onto the remote and yanked. Kitten tugged back, and we spun around the room, a slow song playing in the background.
"Isn't this romantic?" Kitten hissed. She pried the remote out of my hands and shoved me. I stumbled back and crashed into the food table. Kitten rushed over, her manicured nails extended. I stood up and grabbed her wrists, struggling to keep her claws from my face. She grabbed my braid and yanked it, and I gasped as tears stung my eyes. With one hand entangled in my hair, Kitten used the other to push my head into the punchbowl. She bore her weight onto my back. I thrashed around as the pink liquid filled my nose and vision.
Kitten's body was lifted off of me, and I pulled my head out of the punch and gasped for air. I coughed as the juice burned my throat and dribbled out of my nose. My hair and dress were soaked. I turned and saw Starfire holding Kitten up in the air like she was bench-pressing her. She threw her into the giant chocolate cake at the end of the food table. Staring at the frosting and cake coating her body, Kitten climbed to her feet, seething at Starfire.
"You... ruined... my... dress!" she screeched as she pressed the button on the remote.
I gasped and quickly swiped my eyes with my arm to clear my vision. I reached down and pulled one of my energy pistols from my boot. I aimed it at Kitten and pulled the trigger. The laser cut through the air and hit the remote in her hands, destroying it on impact. Kitten gasped as she released the broken metal and wires. They piled at her feet.
"NOOO!" she screamed.
The police, as well as the other Titans, arrived minutes after contacting them, and they arrested Fang and Kitten. They struggled to throw a thrashing Kitten into the back of the truck. She spat out curses and swore for revenge on us as they shoved her inside and closed the doors.
"I thank you for defeating Kitten. I do wish I were the one who did it." Starfire said.
I chuckled as I shook out my sticky, punch-tinted hair. "You and me both." Starfire handed me a stack of napkins and a hairbrush. I accepted them and dried off my face and neck. I ran the hairbrush through my hair, wincing as it fought with my tangled locks. I could hear and feel the snapping of strands ripping from my scalp.
"You know, these guys are kind of cute when they're not all mutated and evil." Beast Boy said, holding one of the moth larva in his arms. He poked its stomach with his finger, and it cooed.
"Don't even think about it." Raven said.
I crouched down next to Beast Boy. "So, what are you going to name it?" I said, my voice low so only he could hear it.
"W-What?" he said.
I raised an eyebrow. "You're totally going to take that back with us. You can't hide anything from me."
Beast Boy blushed sheepishly and held up the larva. It writhed happily in the air. "I think I'm gonna call it... Silkie!"
I smiled and stroked Silkie's head, its slime sticking to my fingers. I'm already covered in fruit punch; a little slime isn't going to make anything worse. I stood up. "Good choice. At least you'll have a season or two before you get busted."
"This is a night I definitely don't want to remember." Robin said as he leaned against the yacht's railing.
"Are you sad because you're not going to have a second date?" I said, running my fingers through my smooth, damp hair. I braided it and picked the loose hairs off my dress.
Robin frowned. "All right, I get it. You can stop making fun of me."
"I'm just enjoying myself. What are you gonna do about it, Robbie-poo?"
"Ladies and gentlemen, it's the end of the night. We're sending you off with one more song. We hope you enjoyed this magical night, and we look forward to seeing you again next year!" the announcer called. Spotlights searched the stage.
Robin looked at me with a smirk. I tensed.
"You wouldn't dare." I said. "We both know you don't dance."
Robin grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor. "Consider us even."
I woke to my natural alarm clock, my hair crowding around my face. I stretched and let my arms flop to the sides. I took a huge whiff through my nose, and my sinuses were overwhelmed with a citrus-y smell. I sat up in bed and brought a handful of hair to my nose. The combination of fruit punch and slime attacked my nostrils, and my face crunched up.
Ew... I hope I never come into contact with Plasmus's slime. No amount of coconut-scented shampoo and 'shower fresh' deodorant will be able to cover that stench.
I glanced at the clock: 6:33 AM.
Maybe my mom will let me stay home for just one more day...
Now, I know I'm just avoiding the issue and I'm trying to push back the time when I have to deal with her. I've been planning out my strategy for many hours these past couple of days. I've also been trying to channel the strength Raven portrayed at the end of Fear Itself from the previous episode.
After all, those monsters weren't real. Mine definitely is.
