CHECKLIST OF THE PREREQUISITES FOR LIZZY'S BEAU
1. He must possess a sense of humor.
Lizzy: I assure you that he is delightfully witty, Papa, and has a keen sense of irony.
Mr. Bennet: (grumbles about being usurped by a no-good whippersnapper)
2. He must put Lizzy's needs first.
Lizzy: If you would like me to describe in detail how he satisfies my needs...
Mr. Bennet: LALALALA (pushes her out of the bookroom and slams the door)
3. His property must meet my standards. The libraries, for example, are to be inspected. I reserve the right to confiscate any books that do not pass my scrutiny.
Lizzy: ...
Mr. Bennet: What? The concern is valid!
