Chapter 2

Everything changed after I had vomited. We had to go Forks hospital since Jacob and Rachel were afraid my memory coming back, as well as my sickness indicated another internal bleeding.

Jacob was screaming all around the house in panic. Rachel was calling the ambulance. I haven't met Jacob's sister much before the injury. I don't remember forming an impression about her, but I recall hating how she and her twin had left Jacob with the load of taking care of Billy. She now seemed caring and friendly, and from what I saw, Jacob was depending much on her.

In the ambulance, Jacob held my hand. His beautiful face showed all kinds of love, care, and worry. I wish I had the luxury of analyzing all what had happened in the last couple of hours of my life, but the pain took over, and to be honest it was a welcomed distraction. My stomach and back hurt me in ways I haven't experienced before. They gave me a sedative and that was all I could remember from the trip to the hospital.

When I woke up, I was in a hospital room. Jacob was sleeping on a couch. I assumed we were the next day. For a moment I hoped I had just woken up from the weird dream, but my fat belly was still lying upon me. The memory caused me more dizziness. I looked around; the room seemed still and lifeless. I had machines wired to me everywhere, most around the belly, and I had an IV dripping into me.

As if he sensed me waking up, Jacob moved, then opened his eyes:

"Hey" he said with an assuring smile.

"Hi Jake" I replied dully.

He sighed and approached me.

"How do you feel now?"

"I don't know Jake, what happened?"

Jacob didn't reply, he swallowed as if uncertain, then laid by my side on the small hospital bed. The space was so tiny that his body was touching mine all over. Then he started rubbing my shoulders, squeezing my arms and burying his face in my hair.

What was with all the touching?

I froze and slightly pulled away and he sensed it, so he kept his hands to himself and sat up.

"Answer me, what had happened, Jacob?"

"You were having early contractions; they gave you injections to stop them since your internal bleeding had to be stopped first by a surgery."

"Surgery?"

"Yes, it wasn't so bad, thankfully all is well now"

"You said early contractions? How far am I?"

"Week 33, that's 7 weeks early!"

I nodded in disbelief. I still couldn't believe I'll be in labor that soon while I don't even remember going through the experience that lead to it.

Jacob explained everything; my pregnancy was a weak one from the beginning and I had many problems during the first trimester. Rachel (now a nurse midwife) had advised me not to exert myself with effort, but I had been concerned with Serena's mental state so I couldn't let her be affected by my pregnancy.

Two weeks before, I had had early contractions and we had visited the medical center and they had managed to reduce it and advised me to completely rest, but this injury changed everything and now we were expecting any minute.

Jacob went out of the room, to the hall to make some calls. I was left alone with my overwhelming thoughts. My heart ached and I missed Edward so much. I knew it's nearly impossible but I wished he were around now somehow.

Jacob came to the room, already talking on his mobile phone. Then he handed me another that was supposedly mine, Charlie's name was shown on the screen.

He looked at me and said in a hushed voice "He's on vacation with Sue in Florida, he's so worried, try to assure him you're alright" Jacob said and headed back outside. All the time he didn't interrupt his call.

He said this simple sentence like it was enough to explain the nonsense.

Why the hell was Charlie with Sue?

And vacation? Really?

I had never seen my father on vacations, ever.

The call with Charlie was more than awkward; I finished the call fast, saying the least possible. I then looked through my phone; it was so different from my old mobile, it took me sometime to reach the contacts. When I reached, I immediately searched for his name, but no Edwards were there. I tried calling his old number but it was out of service.

I had stayed in the hospital for two days before the real action started. I had to stay in the hospital, as I should be monitored after the surgery. Jacob always kept himself busy with something; it was obvious he was avoiding my questions and me. Phone calls, chats with the doctors, welcoming whoever came to visit us, and when there wasn't anything to do, he would sleep on the couch, or fake sleeping.

I knew my best friend very well and I could tell he was hurt, and that he was afraid like he had never been. I sympathized with him so much, and I wish I had an easier way to do this. But what can I do? I am the one who woke up to someone else's life.

Most of La Push visited me in the hospital. Nothing proved I had lost six years of my life like Billy Black. He aged like decades had passed. He treated me like a daughter and he stated several times how he couldn't meet the new chief. It took my so long to figure who that was. It was the baby in my belly.

It was noticeable how my relationships with many people had changed. Paul – now Rachel's husband and a father of a son – was so kind and decent to me. We couldn't even manage one proper conversation in my memory. Leah was dealing with me like I was her sister or something, she was more worried than expected and said she can't go on without me.

This life couldn't get weirder.

"Jacob?" I said that night, as he put his head on the couch to sleep.

He didn't reply right away.

"Jake, I know you are awake!"

"Yes, Bella, what is it?" He said in an emotionless voice.

"What's wrong with you?" I swallowed then went on "Jake, please try to understand me, all of a sudden I wake up to this mess! I am a person who woke up to choices I never had made"

"Well sorry, queen, I am sorry, so bad everything, all my life means nothing to you but a mess"

"It's not like that, Jacob-" I pleaded

"Well never mind, go to sleep now, you should save your energy, the next coming days are going to be hard" He replied calmly.

How could I ever tell him what I want to say? I knew I was hurting him, but I can't just give in to this life when all I wanted was something totally different. I kept searching for the proper words, but how proper can this be done?

"Jacob?" I went on again.

"Yeah" still in a cold voice.

"You said I didn't want to speak with Edward back then- when- you know- when I had lost my memory"

"Yeah"

"Why? Do you know? I mean did I tell you?"

"You thought they were all cold and weird, and not trust worthy"

"Oh!" I said, and then asked in confusion, "Are those my thoughts? I mean have I come to that conclusion all by my self? It doesn't really sound like me!"

"No" he laughed sarcastically, "I brainwashed you, want anything else?"

"Stop that right now Jacob, I didn't mean so. However yes I want something else, I want to see Edward"

I knew I pushed him to the edge. Jacob was obviously trembling and I figured what that meant.

"Oh Jacob, sorry, breath, please, you can't do it here, in the hospital"

Something strong inside me demanded I comfort him with positive thoughts. Memories when we would bike, his love to his father and little Serena. It was a very unusual thing, but the words came out of my mouth like I knew them by heart. As always, his pain was part of mine. The pain intensified inside of me and was suddenly concentrated in my lower belly, then I felt water all over my inner thighs. When I finally understood what was happening, I screamed.

I was expecting they would give me something to stop the pain, but everyone was under the impression I am a big pain bearer. I asked Jacob if they would inject me with something and he said probably it was too late. He then encouraged me by saying he believed I could make it as I had done with Serena. It was strange to imagine myself with such pain tolerance; I was always such a coward.

The pain was becoming unbearable but Jacob's presence was so assuring. He forgot all his anger and managed to support me by never leaving my side, he held my hand and kept guiding me. Everyone assumed I know what would happen, and what I should do, since I technically have been in labor before, but he understood how new this was to me so he was always there to explain.

Twenty minutes later, while Jacob was ordering me to push, I felt the baby body getting out of me. I looked at tiny creature that was beautifully crying and felt my cheeks wet. All of the past days had happened in front of my eyes, but they felt like someone else's experience, but my heart was completely owned to that little creature. He was so small and red. The doctor informed us he's a bit small, but he's a healthy premature.

"Pss Bella, wake up"

Jacob was awakening me in the middle of the night, the weak voice of my baby was crying.

"Sorry Bells, I tried to walk him around to sleep, but no use, he is starving"

"He wants to eat?" I asked in confusion.

"Yeah, you know." and he pointed towards my breasts.

"Oh" I felt my cheeks hot and knew I was blushing.

"I don't know if I can do this, Jacob"

He laughed "yes you do, Serena was breastfed for two years."

He then turned serious. "Listen I can leave the room if it will make you more comfortable, but I thought you may need some guidance"

I thought for a moment, the cries of the baby started to panic me.

"No Jake stay"

He gave a wicked smirk.

"Hey jerk, stop that and try not to look"

"I know them by heart by now" he teased.

"Stop it, Jake, you know what? Maybe you need to get out"

"Ha-ha, OK then" he put the baby in my lap and walked to the door.

"Wait Jacob, stop being an ass and help me out"

He immediately came to my side, I untied my hospital gown, and Jacob placed the baby's head on my right arm. He adjusted my hand under the baby butt. Jacob stood behind me, put his hands inside and reached for my left breast, he pushed it out, to the baby and I pulled my arm towards it, he then started squeezing my breast towards the nipples. And the baby started sucking.

Jacob's touch was affecting me in the weirdest ways. It felt strange yet familiar, unwanted yet desired. The oddest part was how I wasn't even embarrassed by the situation. I just felt gratitude.

The baby then had to be changed. Jacob explained that at this age, they probably need a change after their feeding. Jacob did everything with expertise. I was relieved, it was clear he could manage it all by himself.

"Hey Jacob, what's his name"

"I waited for you to wake up and decide, what did you decide mommy?"

I thought for a moment then asked him if we ever had a name for him before.

He smiled and said, "you wanted Paris, and I am not so fond of it. I honestly wanted to name him Harry, I thought it would make both our Dads happy"

I thought about this; if I'm going to do what I intend to, at least I should give him the choice to name him. And to be honest Harry would sure make both our fathers happy.

"So Harry be it," I said with an assuring smile.

The next day Serena came to visit us. She laid eyes on her baby brother for the first time. I couldn't but gaze at her all the time; she looked so much like myself when I had been her age. She was in love with Harry but she wanted to carry him and walk around so when I said she couldn't, she started the water works. Magical Jacob interfered and set a cartoon video on his mobile for her to watch. He distracted her, and then excused himself to go grab something to eat.

I looked at Serena, and then discovered the chance had come.

I stroked the cheeks of the baby in my arms, as if unintentionally.

"Serena dear, do you want kiss your little brother one more time?"

"Yes mommy" She said

"Then come give mommy that mobile so that you can kiss him with free hands"

She obeyed.

I held Jacob's phone in my hands. I knew he would be in touch with them in a way. I didn't miss that many of these long calls were with Carlisle. I searched the contacts. At first I didn't find what I was looking for. When I was about to lose hope, I had an idea and typed 'Leech' and so it appeared.

I memorized the number; put Jacob's mobile on the side then dialed it on mine. My heartbeats went faster with the ringing till I heard his musical voice replying.

"Bella? Is that really you? Are you alright?"