Chapter 11
I had experienced the same pain before with what had happened with James. I thought this would make it expected, but it was like my memory had blocked the intensity of the torture. The sensation of fire moving inside me since Edward bit me and how it was traveling through my veins was vividly traceable. I was getting weaker with every breath, and I knew I would have fainted if the pain would let me be less conscious.
Jacob's human hand was brushing the hair from my face. I looked at him with teary eyes. I didn't know what to expect between us afterwards. I looked at his panicking face while he watched over me. I was feeling his tears while they were falling on my face.
"Jacob, no" Alice screamed "Make them stop please, he can help"
The wolves weren't even listening to her. The sounds of Edward's body being destroyed were still hearable.
"Please Jacob, he is the only hope to save her" Alice went on.
"Maybe we should listen to her Jake" It was Leah this time.
Jacob growled at her.
"Bells are you still here with me?" He asked in pain.
I managed to nod.
Jake left my side and it was painful. He was talking with Alice, Leah and the others. I was aware of that since all my senses were fully awake. The pain intensity required all my sensations.
"You do it bloodsucker, can't you?" Jacob asked with demand.
"I don't know." Alice answered "Not sure if I will be able stop."
"Oh yes you will, we will tear you apart if you didn't" he threatened.
"Jake, hold on, if she's scared of us she won't be capable of doing it." Leah tried to calm him down.
"We have no fucking time, I can't trust her" Jake said in despair.
Then he asked again
"Is it only about sucking the venom from where he bit her?" Jacob asked.
"Yes, I will just have to stop when I taste her clean blood" she answered.
"I'll do it" Jacob said in persistence.
I wanted to scream at them: No. This shouldn't happen. Thankfully, Alice said what I wanted to say but couldn't.
"It will kill you Jacob, you now it's poison to you"
"Not if I spit it out" He said, his footsteps getting near.
"No, Jake no." it was Quil "we won't let you do it."
"Let me try to do it, it will be safer" Alice said again.
"No, I won't risk it. I already risked her life agreeing she stays here" He replied.
Jacob bent over me and I tried to tell push him, but didn't find the energy to move my hands. I opened my mouth to scream at him but my voice escaped me.
"Ready, Bells?" he said while getting nearer. I was feeling his breaths on my neck. I was suffering as I tried but couldn't move.
No.
Jacob wasn't going to risk his life for me. Someone please stop this good human being from getting hurt for a woman who let him down all the times she could.
It all went clear in my head at that moment. All the heartbreaks I caused him and all the times I tuned my back on him for the wrong reasons.
Jacob started sucking through the bite on my neck. He started slow, and then went faster. He would stop to spit on the side then come back. His body was vibrating as it was hard for him to bear the vampire venom in his mouth.
I felt the venom being sucked; the pain was diminishing, from my whole body to the spot where Edward bit me, until it faded.
Just as I had thought; the pain was keeping me awake, as soon as I felt relieved, the whole world went Black.
It was so silent around me except for the distant beeps of the hospital devices. I opened my eyes to find myself in my room. I was a little disoriented at first and it took me a moment to realize that I wasn't connected to any hospital devices.
Serena was lying beside me on the bed, while Charlie was asleep on a side chair.
I immediately wondered where Jacob was and my heart fluttered that it was hard to breath. I tried to get up to search for him, but I couldn't find any strength to move.
'Dad' My voice was weakly husky.
I gave a few coughs then called him again.
'Dad… Charlie… Please wake up' I said with a raised voice.
He opened his eyes, and smiled with relief.
'Oh Bella, thank God you're fine"
But he wasn't fine, something bad had happened.
"Jake?" I managed to ask within my fear.
At that moment Carlisle entered the room.
Wait...What?
Carlisle was in my home? In La Push? Was this some sort of joke?
"Bella" He let out a relief sigh "I wouldn't have forgiven myself if any harm happened to you. How are you feeling?"
"Carlisle?!" I gasped "Why are you here?"
"Please tell me first how do you feel?" He asked with his usual decent manner.
"I feel dizzy" I replied.
"Normal, you survived a huge thing!" He said
I was afraid to ask because everything about the situation screamed bad news, but I had to anyway.
"Where's Jacob?" I asked "Is he fine?"
Carlisle sighed, not with relief this time, and then replied:
"I have no clue Bella, what happened was so unique."
I managed to get off the bed, that's when my legs wobbled so my father and Carlisle rushed to hold me, and surely Carlisle reached me first.
"Easy Bella, you aren't strong enough to move." said Charlie.
"Dad" I said within my tears "I have to see Jacob."
Charlie hugged me and tried to assure me but I knew from his looks, his voice, and his body language that it was all wrong.
"Is he.. Is he.. d-" I tried to ask.
"No, Bells" My dad said giving me a supportive pat on my shoulder.
"Listen Bella, What happened is one of the strangest things ever." Carlisle went on "Jacob spat most of the venom he sucked out of you. We don't know if it's the after effect of it being placed in his mouth, but I most probably suspect that some have leaked into his system"
I couldn't react, my Dad kept his hand around my shoulder.
"He passed out as soon as your blood was venom free, you are far better than what happened previously with Ed-" He paused then corrected "with James, because a big amount of your blood was sucked back then"
I shivered at the memory but didn't want to react in a way that would make Carlisle hold back and not tell me the rest of the story.
"But Jacob knew when your blood was clean so he stopped and he lost conscious immediately."
"Thankfully the pack trusted Alice enough to call me; there was no other way he would have been breathing now if they hadn't."
"His heart was slowing down when they brought him here, I made Rose and Jasper help me set an operation area in here"
"I did all what I could think of: gastric lavage in case it was about venom slipping inside his digestive system and complete blood transfusions, luckily he's AB+ so he could take from all"
I was letting the story sink in, but it was too much to handle, I didn't want to hear about the medical procedures, I wanted the results, I wanted to hear Jacob's voice.
"I won't torture you with the details, his heart caught up. His blood pressure, heartbeat and mostly every other thing is stable now… He just won't wake up. And I can't figure out why."
I sobbed at his words, I tried to speak but it was hard to say anything when the truth was that horrible.
"Right now, I'm watching him, and putting him on mechanical ventilation. He is breathing fine but I'm just being cautious."
"I want to see him." I said.
"You will, he's in the other room, but not now, let me do some tests to make sure you're alright"
"No, please Carlisle first let me see him"
Leah offered me some water, she looked so pale herself. Apparently they had all donated blood for Jacob. She asked me to try to be calm because everyone wasn't under control. I tried to guess what her words meant, but my head wasn't clear enough to think properly.
She helped me out of the bed along with my dad, and supported me to walk to the kids' room.
I gasped in horror at the scene in front of me.
The room that was peaceful and joyful less than twenty four hours ago was now an ICU. I looked at Jacob and shivered.
Billy was on his wheelchair on Jacob's side, beside him stood Rachel. As soon as they saw me they gave me a hurtful blaming look that went straight to my heart.
Billy started wheeling himself out.
"Let's go Rach, call the guys to bring me down" He then added "Someone has to be staying here with them, she can't be alone with him, and she's capable of causing his death"
I trembled and Leah's hold tightened around me.
"Knock it off, Billy" Charlie said, but I gestured to him to stop. The last thing I wanted now was a fight between my father and Jacob's family.
Rachel and her father left the room. They passed my side and managed not to glance at me, like I was transparent.
Leah grabbed me harder as she tried to smile to comfort me. They helped me to a chair beside him. I sat quietly and started staring at Jacob's still body in loss.
Leah asked me if I needed a moment alone and I nodded. My father wasn't so comfortable about it, but I smiled at him to assure him I was fine.
As soon as they left the room I let my loud sobs out.
Jacob looked helpless in his still sleep. I recalled a very long time ago when seeing Jacob sleeping made me feel a powerful urge to protect him from the whole world. Right now it felt like a dagger was twisting inside of me with this urge.
But how can I protect him when I was the main cause of all the harm that reached him?
I held his big strong hand in mine and stroked it as I saw all the signs of the many cannulas were placed all over his veins.
"I'm sorry Jake" I whispered "I'm so so sorry"
I let my tears fall.
"If only I had listened to you, if only I could trust your vision"
My sobs were getting louder now and they took control of me, I was trembling and my head was dizzy.
"Damn it Jake... Wake up and I promise never to go against you, wake up and I'll never leave your side, wake up because I'll never be able to manage without you…"
I cried harder and louder. Leah came in with Carlisle. She ran to my side and hugged me and I cried harder in her embrace.
"Bella, please be easy on yourself, you need some rest." said Carlisle.
I knew he meant good, but he was completely against what I believed. Someone like me deserved nothing but pain. Surely I deserved that kind of pain but certainly Jacob didn't.
I woke up in my bed again. It was late in the night; apparently I could sleep after Carlisle gave me a sedative. A small gentle hand was stroking my hair. I turned my head to find Serena by my side.
Serena was similar to me on the inside even more than she was on the outside. She was taking care of me like an expert, the same way I did for my mother. I cringed as I remembered how out of place I felt all my childhood due to the duties I carried on my small shoulders.
I looked at my daughter and swore to spare her all that. From now on I will never let my daughter worry about me. She should be playing and laughing and leave the worry to us the adults.
"Hey, mommy" She smiled at me.
"Hey baby" I tried to assure her.
"Are you fine mommy?"
"Yes Serena, I am. why aren't you sleeping baby it seems late in the night"
She frowned then answered.
"I'm scared mommy; I don't know what Harry and I would do without you or daddy"
I gathered my strength to grab her on my lap. I rested her head on my chest and started to stroke her hair.
"Baby, I'm fine, your dad will be too, we just have to hold on to faith"
"How do you know?" she asked
"I pray, Baby."
"How do you do it?" she asked again
I held her hand, looked up to the sky
"Please God, Please angels, make Daddy wake up and be fine" I said with surprising belief.
She repeated after me and rested in my arms. I then started to sing to her. The lullaby came easy to me though at first I didn't recall singing it before. When I remembered I realized I hadn't sung for her since Harry was born.
Serena slept, and I drifted away soon after.
Sue woke me in the early morning. She said we ran out of frozen milk, so I had to feed Harry. It was ok because I felt some strength inside me. I don't know how I knew it, but I knew Jacob will be fine and I knew I will gain his family's trust back and I knew I will make it up to him every moment for the rest of our lives.
