Chapter 14

Jacob

It was the third time Bella tries to knock on my door. I knew she was panicking but I did really need sometime to absorb whatever the fuck was happening.

"Please Bella, give it some time!" I pleaded trying not to scare her more than she already was.

"Jake" said my father "Can I have a talk with you, I have Sam here with me"

He said that and without giving me time to push them away, they let themselves in and I let out a frustration breath.

"Hi Jake" said Sam "I'm glad you are fine."

"I'm not fine Sam, and neither you are. You never wanted to be dragged into this again, don't you?" my voice was getting higher.

"Jake, please try to be calmer, we have to pass this situation together" said Sam.

"What is wrong Jake?" my dad asked, "your wife is a mess, why are you pushing her away like that?"

"She has never seen you freaking out like that and it is so much scaring her not to see you as strong as you always are" he added mercilessly.

"I'm not who she married dad, you wanna say I'm weak, fine I am. I can't handle her right now!" It hurt to be talking like that in front of the new alpha, but I was too angry to control it.

"Jacob" talked Sam patiently "Maybe it's not that bad, maybe it's another chance for you and Bella to start over without all the burdens of being the pack's alpha."

"Ha-ha" I replied sarcastically "says the new alpha of the pack!"

"I didn't want this, I was having a stable life with my family" he said defensively.

"Because you don't fucking need it Sam" I said "But for me, now, looking deeper at my situation, I nearly am nothing without it!"

"What on earth does that mean? Huh?" my father shouted, he wasn't that angry with me since forever "you now claim that you are nothing without the wolf, you hated the wolf, Jacob, remember? You hated me, you resented the tribe and denied your fate, or have you lost your memory too?"

"It's different now father" I replied.

It was getting harder to share this out loud but I went on anyway "my wife is a fucking vampire magnet, whenever she goes, they go. Some of them, the most powerful, are so interested in the vampire version of Bella. She can't help it, she attracts danger, and she can't be with a disabled wolf like me."

"Jacob" he replied while Sam stayed silent, "It's just an interpretation of the vampire doctor who has no knowledge about our history nor the specialty of this gene."

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"I talked to old Quil" he sighed then added, "he doesn't agree with what the vampire doctor had said"

"I will kill the leader leech, I will kill them all" I said in rage, even as a doctor he was not useful.

"Jacob, why are you acting worse than when you were a teen?" asked my father.

"Listen Jake" he went on "I don't want to give you false hope. Yes, the doctor analysis may be wrong, but even if he was right, the pack is still your family they will protect you and your family, never doubt that."

"Yes Jake" interfered Sam "We have your back. You are our brother for live, whether or not you can phase."


I started to come around after what seemed like a long sleep. I was feeling much better already.

Bella was sitting beside me; I felt her tiny fingers stroking my hair. She jerked her hand away as soon as she noticed I was waking up.

"Don't stop Bells," I pleaded.

She kept going for a while, silently. Her posture said a million words.

"Sorry Bells, I'm so sorry I scared you" I gathered my courage to talk to her.

She didn't reply, but tears fell on her cheeks. I pulled myself up and wiped them away with my hand.

"I hate that I hurt you that much, but I was so afraid, I still am if I'm totally honest"

"You don't have faith in me Jake" She said and looked to the side "I don't blame you though."

"Bella" I said pulling her chin so that she looks at me "I have so much faith in you and I apologize for doubting you. But now I'm mostly worried about you, all the time. I am so scared that something bad happens to you. You are everything to me and you know it. It's so freaking panicking not to be able to protect you"

"Jake, let's try and forget all that, and start a life sans the supernatural craziness" she stressed on the world sans with a hopeful smile.

"Those are Sam's words" I replied.

"Maybe" she said, then remained silent for a while before saying, "But maybe he's right. He said he was so happy away from all that. "So maybe if we can leave and give it a try far awa-"

"I wish honey" I cut her words "We are not like Sam and Emily, it always will chase us"

She was embarrassed, she knew by that I meant how her previous relationship with the Cullens brought us into infinite danger. I wanted to sooth her sadness so I caressed her cheek.

"I'm such a burden, Jake. I wish all this never happened" she said in defeat.

"No honey, it's not you. It's just how I feel about you, I love you so much" I told her that and kissed her forehead and she stroked my neck.

"Don't be ashamed Bells. You were young, and you lacked the knowledge then." I said. "It's not your fault he used his manipulative charm on a teen girl like you"

She pouted so I messaged her mouth with my thumb to release it. She kissed my finger so pulled my self higher and kissed her lips. She pushed herself closer and grabbed my hair pulling me closer. I kissed her hard till she opened her lips in the perfect moment for my tongue to enter so I put it inside and it felt so good to lick her tongue again.

It was getting hotter between us fast. Specially because our bodies longed so much for each other; I touched the tip of her shirt planning to grab it and pull it off, when someone knocked on the door.

My father was on the door announcing we are having a visitor. I sighed, not knowing how to tell the so-called visitor to fuck off. Bella rushed herself out of the bed with her cheeks blushing.

"It's Old Quil and he wants to talk to you," he said then paused for a moment then added in an unsure tone "it's about our previous conversation and what's bothering you."

I paused and didn't reply, so they let themselves in. My father needs a word about respecting our privacy.

"Hey Jacob, hey Bella" said old Quil with an expression that is hard to make as usual.

My dad asked Bella to leave us alone. She obviously wanted to stay but she couldn't refuse his request. She looked at me first and I thought about asking her to stay but I wasn't sure what will happen and how I would react, so I nodded for her to leave.

"What is it?" I said impatiently as soon as she went outside the door.

"Calm down Jake" said my father. "Old Quil has something important to tell you."

"Listen Billy" old Quil told him "If he doesn't want to be patient and listen, I can just go away."

If they are both in here to teach me some manners today then I swear I can just throw them outside my house, wolf or not.

"I'm not in the mood for that" I snapped at my father "Have something new? Say it!"

"Jake" said my dad "Just listen, he's only helping."

"Look Jacob" said old Quil ignoring us "Billy told me about what happened, and how you saved your wife, and about the death of the wolf nonsense"

So he thinks it's nonsense, that's a promising start.

"Jacob, what you did is such a unique experience. We have no records about a wolf sucking the venom in their mouth like that. So unfortunately the archives show nothing about what could have happened to you. But Jacob, the wolf can't die and leave you, it's in your genes, it's who you are." Said old Quil.

"But how do you explain those symptoms?" I asked in frustration. "I'm not myself anymore."

"It is strange I am telling you, and I had a fast look on the tribe old books and found nothing to explain what you are feeling now" he said.

After a moment of silent, my father started talking

"It's known though that the wolf can calm down for a period of time. Previous pack members as well as Sam could do it, quit and stop phasing"

"Exactly" said old Quil "The gene can calm down, but it never goes away. The spirit warrior can usually awaken it like what Sam is doing right now. Or in some other cases, it's triggered to work again"

"Triggered?" I asked

"Yes, like meeting with you mortal enemy, have you met with a vampire?" he asked reading my mind.

"Yeah, but I felt nothing, I even couldn't smell him" I said shamefully

"Expected Jake don't be hard on your self" said my dad trying to assure me.

"Well, my theory is your status now isn't like when the gene is calmed down after phasing, it's more close to how it was when you were young before you even phased" said old Quil.

"This is just crazy" I said

"So if that is the case" he completed ignoring my frustration "So you won't be able to awaken it your self, it will do by itself once it's fully triggered"

"And how would that happen old man" I asked.

"Maybe someone needs to piss you off so much." He said

"I'm already very pissed right now" I replied.

"Maybe meeting vampires" said Billy.

"Oh dad, this happened a few hours ago and I was annoyingly normal" I replied again.

They looked to each other, and I knew right away there was something they needed to tell me but they were afraid.

"What?" I asked, "tell me, I'll do anything.

"We guess," said my father slowly, like he doesn't want to complete "That your family being in danger can trigger the wolf again."

"What do you mean father?" I asked with anger again.

My father couldn't reply, so old Quil completed

"We think that we can just send Bella to the Cullens for a few days while you stay around them, one uncomfortable situation and the wolf will be back."

I growled.

"See, it's already working" noted old Quil, and I already felt warmer.

"There's no way I'm placing her in danger while I'm not sure I'd be able to defend her."

"OK Jacob, calm down" said old Quil "be patient and think it over, you don't have to decide now."

"Dad can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure Jake?"

"Please, no one tells Bella this fucking idea, she will throw herself at the Cullens house today."

They promised they won't tell her till I give my final say. I wondered if my father was really that clueless about me to the extent he thinks I'll be even considering this.

The good news is, their suggestion really triggered something within me and I became more confident the wolf is near.

I couldn't let them go without one more thing.

"Sam" I said loudly since I knew he was down at the living room listening to every word.

"Yes Jake" he said as he rushed to the room again.

"I have one request from you, can you order my pack for me till I return?"

"Sure Jake" he said in confusion.

"Tell my pack that no vampire-including the ones we have a shitty treaty with- should know about this, I want them to believe that the wolf had completely died!"

"Why Jacob?" asked old Quil.

"None of your business old man, thank you for your help." I said.