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Shot 4 Summary: All Valerie wants to do is eat her sandwich in peace, but Dan refuses to leave her alone. Rating: T. Genre: romance/humor.


Deliverance

Shot 4: Lunch Time


Valerie's stomach grumbled uncomfortably, and she grabbed at it with a wince. Rations had been getting smaller recently within the resistance—down to two meals a day. It was a necessary evil to maintain the population that was thriving beneath the Shield, but it did not make her job any easier. She often skipped breakfast, using her early-morning grogginess to hide her hunger.

But now that it was afternoon…

The famous Red Huntress was currently patrolling the boundary between Amity Park and the desolate world surrounding it. Her ectoplasmic radar had not buzzed yet, but paranoia and experience told her that Dan Phantom would be coming around soon for his daily dose of tormenting her.

"Gotta eat something," she whispered to herself, remembering that she had packed some food away in a containment space in her jet sled. If she ran into Phantom later, she'd need her strength.

It was time to give in.

She paused in-flight, swooping down on her jet sled to land gracefully on the bare dirt. The Wastelands were once the foundations for towns such as Elmerton and Jasper—now all completely leveled by Phantom's hand.

She sat down beside a fallen steel beam and gazed out at the windswept world and weeds. It was silent and abandoned, not even a wandering ghost in sight. With a sigh of relief, Valerie pulled out a brown paper bag from the cold sub-space in her jet sled. Her heart quickened in anticipation for food.

She imagined that Phantom was far away on the other side of the world, terrorizing the small Russian resistance there, or destroying Amity's other allies in Africa. Maybe, she figured, he was even attempting to locate Clockwork's tower.

"Oh, look what the Wastelands dragged out," called a familiar, mocking voice.

She face faulted, her fingers digging deep into the paper bag. Shit, she thought. Her radar began to buzz in its typical, delayed fashion.

So much for her imagination.

Phantom appeared in a whirlwind that swept Valerie's ringlet hair up into her face. Her nose wrinkled at his excessive display of power, but she did not move.

The ghost floated in the air nonchalantly before her, his cape fluttering. "Miss me?" he asked.

She flipped him the bird with her free hand. "Not a bit," she said with an incredibly fake smile.

As always, Phantom took her snark in stride. "Aww, but you're usually so enthusiastic about my presence." He floated before her, tilting his head at the curious sight of Valerie sitting before him, holding food. "And you are…eating lunch."

"Yep."

"That is horribly mundane," Phantom said, brushing nonexistent dirt off of his arms. "In far more exciting news, I destroyed the last of the Amazon forest today and killed off the Russian resistance leader." He crossed his arms expectantly. "Whatcha gonna do about it?"

For a second, she paused. She stared at him in consternation, irritation and anger swarming through her. What was this—show and tell? Was he really waiting for her to react, just so they could have something to fight about?

He ruined everything, always. She couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't live without having to constantly fight him off.

So that day, she made a different decision. Fuck it all, she thought, raising a silent prayer of forgiveness to the dead Russian resistance leader.

Valerie merely waved Phantom off. "Here's what I'm gonna do about it," she replied. "I'm gonna sit here, and I'm gonna eat this damn sandwich if it's the last thing I do." She eyed him with a harsh glare, not unlike that of a mother with an unruly child. "Now you can either go away and leave my city in peace, or you can sit on that ledge over there so I can keep an eye on you."

The ghost's handsome face twisted into a smile. "Or I can be perfectly misbehaved while you eat that sandwich."

"And I can be perfectly kick-ass if you don't behave while I eat this sandwich." She pulled out half of a turkey sandwich from the bag, complete with lettuce and a healthy, red tomato slice. Her mouth watered. She bit down on the triangle of bread, closing her eyes.

When was the last time she'd had bread?

Phantom's face fell in disappointment as he realized that Valerie was practically ignoring him. His lip raised up in disgust, revealing his fangs. "You'd betray your own race to eat a sandwich?"

She swallowed, feeling the food expand in her ever-shrinking stomach. "No, but I haven't had an uninterrupted meal in months. I'm tired of never getting to eat."

Phantom considered, then narrowed his eyes. "So you're just stalling. And then you'll fight me."

When Valerie shrugged in response, Phantom contemplated smacking the sandwich right out of her hands, but he simply rolled his eyes in annoyance. "You're ruining my fun, you know," he whined, laying down on another steel beam not too far away. He placed his hands behind his head. "This is the problem with you humans. You're always so weak and needy."

Valerie took a bite of her sandwich and raised an eyebrow.

"I need more opponents," Dan said, red eyes staring up at the clouds in the sky. "People who can actually keep up with me. Ghosts, especially. Maybe I should unleash Pariah Dark again for the hell of it. Although there's not much left of him now…"

Valerie's lips pulled down as irritation wormed its way through her.

"This is just pathetic," he complained. "Have my standards for combat really fallen so far? I've resorted to waiting on you to finish lunch, just so I can have a little—"

In anger, she chucked the other wrapped half of the sandwich at him. Without even looking her way, his hand shot up and grabbed it. "And now you're throwing your food! This is desperate, Valerie," he said, turning the turkey sandwich over and eying it. "Turkey does not weaponize well."

"I wasn't trying to hurt you with it," she rolled her eyes. "I want you to shut up and eat it."

The full ghost paused in confusion, speechless for but a second. "In case you've somehow forgotten what I am, I don't have to eat food like you."

"I know. I don't care. Just freakin' shut up and eat the damn sandwich. Then I can get some silence for once instead of having to hear you blabber."

Phantom blinked at the odd demand, his hand clenching around the sandwich. But he smirked. "You'd share your pathetic rations with me? I'm touched."

"I'm not doing this for you. It's for my own sanity." She took another bite and eyed him. "Now eat."

The ghost was deeply amused by Valerie's new tactics and responded, "Only because you asked so nicely." He waved the sandwich triangle in the air as a toast, then unwrapped it and bit into the soft bread. But something strange happened. His smirk fell into surprise as crumbs swept through his mouth. Real food had not touched his lips in years, and he'd forgotten the taste of bread, the crunch of lettuce.

He recalled old memories of picnics, his family's laughter. A warm sun.

He took another bite, sinking his fangs in faster and closing his eyes, reveling in the taste. He remained silent as he lounged against the steel beam. His muscles relaxed down from their defensive mode.

And for the first time, the two enemies remained in each other's presence without insults or flying fists. They munched on the turkey sandwich together, almost comfortable.

Not far away, Valerie reveled in the silence, enjoying the last few bites of her sandwich as she watched Phantom from out of the corner of her eye. She would have to consider something like this in the future, if it meant she could sit down without having to worry about Phantom destroying something. She could keep an eye on him from here.

Keep your friends close, she thought ruefully, and your enemies closer.


The peace lasted for all of about three minutes.

"So, Val," Phantom said suddenly, turning himself on the steel beam to face her with curious eyes. His hair wavered about his head in flickering tendrils that danced across his temple and jaw. He almost looked happy. "Does this classify as a lunch date?"

Valerie's nose scrunched at his use of her nickname. "Hell no." She licked the tomato juices off her fingers to get all the nutrients she could, then un-holstered her blaster from her belt.

If Phantom was going to tease her, then it was time to get back to work.


A/N: The problem with feeding wild animals is that they always come back for more. Another almost-romance-but-not-quite moment..

I've received multiple requests to continue one-shot 2, "Aftermath," so I intend to update this collection next with that document. I also have a separate Dan and Valerie story that will publish this Friday, so keep your eyes out! :)

Thanks for reading,

Lightning Streak

Please Review! I also take requests or ideas.