Disclaimer: Don't own DP.
Thanks to Invader Johnny, Zanza Flux, Xand'r Coldhearted, Crystalmoon39, Silverstone007, Cookieplzandthnx, AmethystFlare3, and lightshadow101 for reviewing. A Karma Part 3 is in the making, as per your request!
Shot 9 Summary: Valerie gets her hair cut short. Dan absolutely hates it. Genre: Humor/Romance. Rating: T.
Deliverance
Shot 9: Intermission: Bad Hair Days
Dan looked almost apoplectic. "What," he whispered in horror, "did you do?"
Valerie put a hand on her hips as she floated on her jet sled. "Nothing I know of," she said. Her face twisted with something sneaky and smug. "But I'll take fully responsibility if it puts that look on your face."
"Your hair," he breathed, rushing towards her. His hands reached out to touch her head until she smacked them away. "What did you do?"
"It was in my way," she said dryly, eying him with a great suspicion.
This ghost had faced nuclear bombs and multinational defense strikes without flinching—what was he so rattled about now? Was this just another ploy to distract her?
He managed to trail a finger across the short cut before Valerie wrenched his hand down. "Your curls," he said, voice halted. "They were beautiful. They're gone!"
"Yes," Valerie said slowly, as if talking to a small child, "I got a haircut." She purposely chose to ignore the fact that Phantom had thought her hair beautiful—that would just take her down another one of those scary paths that made her question things. Like his sanity, or her own.
A good ten inches of her tangled ringlets were gone, replaced by something that looked almost like a crew cut. Swift and efficient. Bold, she thought.
"It's horrible!" Dan whined, lip curling down in displeasure. "It makes you look…guy…ish."
Valerie face-faulted. Her fingers began to twitch, itching to shoot him. "Yeah? Well, I'm gonna make you look ugly too. Not that you need help there."
"Please tell me you're at least keeping the skin-tight battle suit," he said, eyeing her. "Or I won't know what to call you anymore."
"It's my own damn life, and I'll do what I want with it," she huffed, a sculpted eyebrow raised. Oh yeah, he was definitely going to get his butt kicked hard today, especially for the battle suit comment. "It's your fault I had to cut my hair in the first place."
"I did not demand that you shave your head," he said shortly. "I just demanded total control over Amity Park. Big difference."
"…Do you even understand how much of a pain you are to me?"
"Oh, come on." He pulled at the back of his hair, which was tied back into a ponytail that day. "I managed world conquest, and I didn't have to cut my hair."
"I don't think your mullet classifies as hair," Valerie said smugly. "And you really should cut that shit off. You're starting to look like a girl, you know."
This time, Dan's face faulted, and glared at her in irritation. His fingers sharpened with blades of light, like claws. "Why don't you say that again?" he demanded, mocking. "Maybe I'll break a nail. In your throat."
Finally! She breathed. Normal conversation! She pulled out a plasma cannon, which lit up under her touch. "I dare you to try, sweetheart," she said cheekily. "That manicure looks pretty cheap."
He growled at her, the powerful lines of his body tightening up. "Not as cheap as your hair cut," he bit back, a sneer twisting his face.
She growled back. "Bastard."
"Bitch." Then he really looked at her again, and his irritation gave way to some kind of pout. "…I always wanted to touch your curls." He looked legitimately disappointed and despondent—like a child. "And now I can't. Because they're gone."
She tilted her head. "Well," she huffed with a mocking air of superiority, "be a good boy, and maybe I'll grow it back out."
Dan looked at her with utter seriousness, his red eyes shining with suspicion. The blades of light retracted back into his hands. "…What exactly constitutes as a good boy?" he asked suddenly.
"Say what?"
"I may be willing to try it. As long as you grow out your hair. And I get to touch it whenever I want."
Valerie blinked for a second, thrown off by Dan's easy proposal. "…You can't be serious."
He raised a brow. "Oh," he said. "I can be very serious."
She re-shouldered the cannon, incredulous. "You can't possibly like my hair that much."
"Only one way to find out."
"You mean, if I just grow my stupid hair back out, you'll stop trying to kill everyone?"
"Don't push it," he warned, a sly smirk splitting his face as he soaked in Valerie's surprise. "But I can think of one person I'd never actually kill. Even if she looks ridiculous with short hair."
Valerie fell silent, trying measure him up and untangle the incredible lack of logic that seemed to inspire him. She put a hand on her hips. "…Are you hitting on me right now?"
Dan nodded, his smirk melting into something more delighted. "Maybe."
A/N: And so Valerie's hair saved the world. Inspired by my brother-in-law's reaction to my sister cutting her hair. I actually like short hair, but whatever.
I realized that Aftermath Part 3 has expanded into almost 25 pages, and that I just can't get it fully written and revised in time for this Friday. I will probably have to split the next update into a couple of side-by-side updates. So here's something I had typed up a while ago. We needed a happy intermission between Karma and Aftermath anyway. :) Happy/silly one-shots will be labeled as "Intermission" in their title from here on out.
If you have time, please leave some thoughts/comments on this chapter. And seriously, why do guys like long hair?
