Hank wasn't really surprised to see Markus on the other side of the door. In the aftermath of Connor's death, he was at the top of the list of people he figured would be checking in.

"Good afternoon, Lieutenant Anderson," Markus greeted him, even though there was nothing good about it. "Can I come in?"

He didn't answer, but held the door open, letting the deviant leader through. Sumo offered a soft boof in greeting which made the android smile softly.

"Here to check up on me?" Hank asked, already knowing the answer.

"I am," he admitted. They both knew there was no reason to deny it.

Hank wandered over to the couch, not waiting to see if Markus would follow. He sat down heavily. "Well, I'll save you a question. I'm doing fuckin terrible," he admitted.

There was no reason to sugar coat it. It was obvious anyway. Hank hadn't left the house since the hospital cleared him. He hadn't done much of anything since then. Hadn't showered. Hadn't slept. Hadn't really even eaten anything.

He looked like shit.

Markus joined him on the other side of the couch tentatively. "I figured that would probably be the case."

"I'm sure you miss him too," Hank said. It wasn't as though he had a monopoly on Connor. He had friends at New Jericho. There were many people who were affected by his loss.

Markus nodded sadly. "I do. I miss him a lot. He was… He was a good friend."

"Yeah," he rubbed his hand over his face. "He was. Best anyone could ask for."

"He," the android hesitated, pursing his lips momentarily before continuing. "He was more than that to you though, wasn't he? The two of you, you were family."

Unshed tears stung Hank's eyes. They'd never said as much. It had been a sort of unspoken understanding. Now, he wished they'd talked about it. He wished he had made it clear where he stood in his life. He wished he knew for sure that Connor knew how much he had loved him.

"Yeah," he admitted. Might as well say it to someone. "I never really told him that, but… He was my kid."

Markus put a gentle hand on Hank's arm in an attempt to reassure him. "I think he knew, Lieutenant.." He gave him a small smile. "I know for a fact he thought of you as his father."

"Yeah, well, he should've picked a better one." He leaned back, breaking free of the supportive hand on his arm. "What the hell kind of father can't even keep his son alive?"

"Please don't do that to yourself," Markus begged. "You know it isn't true. What happened wasn't your fault."

Hank sighed, not meeting his eyes or acknowledging his statement. Even if it was true, it was hard to make himself believe it. Blaming himself was easier.

"Connor adored you," he went on. "He would hate for you to blame yourself."

"Gotta admit though. I've got a shitty track record."

"You have… had unfortunate luck in that department, I will admit that," Markus conceded. "But that isn't a reflection on you. From what Connor told me, he couldn't have asked for a better father. He had a good life."

Hank hung his head. "He wasn't even a year old," he lamented. "His birthday, or release date, or whatever. It's two weeks from today." He ran a hand over his face and through his hair. It was the closest he had come to brushing it. He could feel Markus's eyes on him. "I was gonna surprise him, you know. Was gonna take him to the aquarium. The one on Bell Island."

"He would have loved that," Markus admitted.

Hank let out a humorless chuckle. "Kid was weirdly obsessed with fish. He said it had something to do with how he deviated, but didn't really explain."

Markus nodded in understanding. "I think he said it was his first software instability. He rescued a fish on his first mission. It was his first sign of empathy."

His eyes stung, but he wasn't going to cry. The last thing he needed was for Markus to pity him more than he already did. "He was deviant long before he deviated."

"It certainly seems that way," Markus agreed.

Hank rubbed at his eyes. He was not going to cry. "He should have had more time."

"He was always talking about you, you know," Markus told him after a moment's pause. "He made sure we all knew about how you feed Sumo scraps from the table when you didn't think he was looking. Or how you fell in the lake trying to teach him how to fish." He smiled at the tired man. "Connor's life may have been short, but you made it worth living."

Hank looked up at him, grief didn't even begin to describe his expression. "He asked you to look out for me, didn't he." It wasn't a question. They both knew Connor well enough for that.

"He did," Markus responded anyway. "He was concerned about what you would do if something were to happen to him. He asked me months ago."

"Made you promise you wouldn't let me drink?"

"Among other things," he admitted with a sad smile. "Connor was so proud of the progress you made. He would hate it if you threw that all away." "He loved you, Lieutenant. He wanted to protect you."

A tear finally escaped and he brushed it away. "I loved him too," he admitted. "I wish I had told him that."

"Some things don't need to be said for them to be known."

"Yeah, but I still shoulda said it."

Markus didn't have much to say in response to that. Instead he sat in silent agreement. Hank knew he was trying. The deviant leader had better things to do, had his own grief to process. He had heard the kid refer to him as his brother more than once. Yet, here he was doing his best to keep a worthless old drunk like him from spiraling. He knew he should be grateful.

But how was he supposed to go on when his reason for living was dead?

And yet, giving up felt like an insult to everything Connor had done for him.

"I'm gonna be ok," he told Markus after a moment. He didn't believe it to be true, but he needed to extend the lie to him. He owed him that much.

Markus offered him a sad, but reassuring smile. "Yes, you will," agreed. There was such sincerity in his voice, Hank could almost bring himself to fall for it. "I know this will be hard, it will be hard on all of us, but we won't let you face it alone."

"That sounds like a threat," Hank said, wiping at his face again.

"Only if it needs to be," Markus teased gently. "Connor wanted me to make sure you were alright. I intend to keep my promise."

Fuck these damn tears, Hank couldn't stop them from escaping no matter how much he rubbed his eyes. "I made him a promise too," he couldn't look at him anymore. "I promised I'd look after him, protect him. Fucked that up didn't I."

"Lieutenant-"

"We didn't even catch the asshole," he interrupted. "Fucking hell, the fucker just disappeared. I can't even do my damn job anymore."

"Hank."

He hadn't shouted, or even used a stern voice, but the sound of Markus using his first name was enough to give him pause. It was such a small thing, and yet it made him want to crumble.

"I know, fuck, I know," Hank sighed. He leaned forward, eyes pressed to his hands. It was a lost cause now, the tears fell freely. "I know I'm talking outta my ass. I know I couldn't have done anything and I know Connor would hate to see me like this. I know. I just…"

"It hurts," Markus finished for him.

Hank leaned back, eyes still closed. "Yeah," he acknowledged. "Yeah, it does."

Markus put a comforting hand on his shoulder and this time Hank didn't shake it off.