p class="MsoNormal""I wish I didn't have to put this degree of pressure on you during an already stressful time," Mariah began, "But we do need to have some kind of at least loose plan. I'd originally come in here to check on you and let you know that everyone else would be coming in soon."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian attempted to stop his tears, but he wanted to do nothing more than let himself fall apart, "I don't….." he trailed off unsure of how to finish the sentence. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"I don't know what to do. I don't want to. I don't know how. I don't know anything. I don't belong here./em/p
p class="MsoNormal""My suggestion is that we just play up you not feeling well and just try faking it for now. Abby and Carver won't stay too long. Morgan will have a bath after dinner and then probably pass out pretty quickly and then we can try and regroup or something. But it's up to you," Mariah said./p
p class="MsoNormal""I don't know. Sure. Whatever," Sebastian shrugged. The whole thing sounded awful and they were fucked anyway. He sniffled, using the sleeves of his hoodie to wipe at his face, trying to gather himself./p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," Mariah sighed, "Look, I know you don't know me. I'm going to give you some space. This is a fucking shit show. If there's anything I can do to help let me know. Not that I'm doing so great myself but at least I have my memory."/p
p class="MsoNormal"She took a deep breath and turned around to leave. Sebastian considered asking her to stay. He felt he owed her something. Some kind of comfort. Despite his thought that he was getting the worse end of the stick, he knew that her life had also been turned upside down by this. But what could he even say to her? span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanShe was right, he didn't know her. In fact he had been rude to her on and off throughout the day, and she still was trying her damnedest to be nice to him. To make things better for him, even though she was struggling herself. And he wasn't even her Sebastian. In some ways he was a stranger to her too. He didn't have too long to linger on it, as things in the house suddenly got louder. Mariah had closed the bedroom door and he was far enough away that everything was muffled, but he heard the voices just the same. Even without hearing her words, he could tell Mariah was putting on a show. Her tone didn't come close to matching how he knew she felt. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Definitely a better actor than you./em/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian had at least stopped crying. He guessed he probably looked like shit, but if he was supposed to be exaggerating whatever strange illness they were pretending he had, it might have been for the best. His plan was still to hide in the bedroom as long as he could, but he knew he'd have to come out sooner or later. He waited a while, looking at his phone once again, willing himself to recognize something to no avail. He began to hear the sounds of plates and silverware when the bedroom door creaked open. Mariah slid back in, rushing over to his side./p
p class="MsoNormal""Real quick," she said hastily, coming over to his side, "If Morgan calls you Fro-gie or starts hopping around like a frog, call her Greenie. Tell her your foot is still hurt and you can't hop yet. Her favorite song at bedtime, which I can basically guarantee that she will ask you to sing, is Pumpkin Patch. If she asks you something or says something to you that doesn't make sense to you, act over the top confused, tell her that you don't know how, or don't remember, and ask her to show you. She'll do it and it will definitely buy you some time. You can also say, 'Let's see what mommy thinks' and she'll come get me. I'll help out as much as I can, but she's looking to spend some time with her dad. Lots of smiles, as much as you can muster, and over exaggerated reactions to things. Do not, under any circumstances, play hide and seek with her. If all else fails, come over to me and put your forehead against mine and you can whisper in my ear. I know that's a lot to ask of you, but the dad bar has been set pretty high."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian took a breath, "I'll try."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Mommy, daddy, mommy daddy!" Morgan came bounding in the room./p
p class="MsoNormal""Quiet voice Morgan," Mariah said, turning to the little girl, "Remember daddy still doesn't feel very good. We need to be gentle right?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Right," Morgan said in a softer tone, nodding her head solemnly, "Auntie Abby said to tell you stop kissing it dinner time."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah chuckled, "Thank you baby. Did you wash up yet?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh-huh," Morgan nodded, rocking back and forth on her feet, "Daddy I sit with you at diner?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Next to," Mariah corrected, "If daddy says it's okay, you can sit next to him at dinner, but not in his lap."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Daddy I sit next to you?" she amended./p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh sure," Sebastian said, nodding his head./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yay!" she said bouncing off again, "Come on!"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah mouthed 'thank you' at him before they left the room. They sat down at the table in the kitchen where Abby and Carver already were. Sebastian looked down at the bowl in front of him./p
p class="MsoNormal""Pumpkin soup," he said, before looking up at Mariah, "Thanks."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Of course," Mariah smiled at him warmly. Sebastian wasn't sure if it was for show or not, "I was hoping your favorite would help you feel better."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Much of the dinner conversation was based on the farm and all that work that was done earlier that day. Sebastian was able to get through the meal easily enough. Carver thanked Mariah for the food and announced that they should be heading out once they were done. Mariah thanked them again for all their help, and assured them that they could take care of the dishes, and not to worry, they'd done enough for the day. Morgan loudly announced that she had to go potty, which Mariah went to help with./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian stood up, following Abby and Carver to the door. That's something that people did when saying goodbye to guests right?/p
p class="MsoNormal""Seb, I'm sorry if I was a bit harsh on you earlier. And for all of the other mean thoughts I had about you later in the day. You really do look like shit," Abby said from the doorway./p
p class="MsoNormal""Gee thanks," Sebastian said sarcastically./p
p class="MsoNormal""The point is, I hope you feel better," Abby said without reacting to his comment, "I'm not sure what's actually wrong with you, but I don't want it. I think you guys should be set for tomorrow, but you still need any help, let us know, okay? Preferably at a more normal morning time and not at the ass crack of dawn."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks," Sebastian mumbled./p
p class="MsoNormal""Feel better Seb," Carver added before they stepped off the porch./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian went back inside. Mariah called to him from the bathroom, "Hey Seb I've got Morgan's bath. Can you work on the dishes?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh yeah, sure," he called back. He didn't really want to be doing anything truthfully, but he could manage doing some style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanHe found the tedium and peace somewhat helpful in getting him to relax a bit. He was just finishing when the sounds from the bathroom got louder as the door opened./p
p class="MsoNormal""Dad-dy," Morgan called to him with a giggle, "Can Fro-gie put me to bed?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"What did Mariah say to call her?/em "Fro-gie's foot is still hurt, so he can't hop."/p
p class="MsoNormal""But Greenie can hop up to bed," Mariah added./p
p class="MsoNormal"Morgan giggled excitedly and hopped up the steps, ribbiting as she went./p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah gestured for him to go ahead up the stairs, "You go ahead. Stairs take me a little bit," she pat her stomach./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian nodded, and followed Morgan up the stairs. Mariah came up behind him, letting out a heavy sigh when she got to the top. Sebastian felt awkward, but the process was straight forward. They read her a story and as Mariah predicted, she requested Sebastian sing her Pumpkin Patch. If Mariah hadn't been quietly singing along next to him he would have stumbled along, having not thought of the song in many years./p
p class="MsoNormal"When he hugged her goodnight, Morgan squeezed him tightly, "I love you daddy. I hope you feel better really soon."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Me too," he agreed, "Sleep well."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thank you," Mariah said to him when they got back downstairs, "I'm sure that wasn't easy for you."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah well, it's not her fault her dad is suddenly missing. It's not like she could understand, besides which it's not fair," Sebastian said, "She's just a kid. She doesn't deserve to be dealing with this."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So we need to talk through this," Mariah said, lowering herself into an arm chair in the living room./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'd rather it just go away and not have to deal with it," Sebastian was honest, though not helpful./p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah rolled her eyes, "Well no shit. The fact of the matter is we're stuck with this. How's your head?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""It's not great, but it's the best it's been all day," he answered./p
p class="MsoNormal""And nothing is coming back to you? Not that I really expect it to after what he said."/p
p class="MsoNormal"He shook his head, "Some things give me emotions. Things feel familiar, but like just out of my grasp. It's almost like déjà vu expect I'm not actually remembering anything."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah's brows furrowed as she thought, "I'm not sure which one of us is supposed to be suffering for the curse to break, me or you. I also have no idea how to accomplish that."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian snorted, "Maybe we don't have to do anything. We're suffering right now after all."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah sighed, "So what do you want to do?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""I don't really have too many choices do I? I apparently don't have a home to go back to. I'm stuck here with you. Besides which going literally anywhere else would lead to a lot of questions that I don't want or probably have the ability to answer. Unless I wanted to go stay with a wizard. Or maybe a witch. But those both sound like terrible options."/p
p class="MsoNormal""If you really don't want to be here I'm not going to stop you from leaving. I'm sure you could stay in the guest room at your mom's house. Would probably be slightly more comfortable than sharing a space with a total stranger."/p
p class="MsoNormal""And what exactly would I say is the reason for me being there?" Sebastian questioned, "Goes back to my whole point of excessive questions if I go anywhere else. Like I told you earlier, I don't want anyone thinking I'm crazy."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I guess," she frowned, "I guess you could go to a hotel if you wanted. Nobody would ask questions there."/p
p class="MsoNormal""But then wouldn't people question where I was?" he asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""If they noticed you weren't around, yeah," Mariah said./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm fucked one way or another," Sebastian said, "So I might as well be fucked with one of the only people here who knows I'm fucked. I don't know any of you, but I tend to trust you more than the magical beings. Why are you trying to get me out so badly anyway?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Sebastian I'm not trying to get you out. I'm just trying to do something to make you more comfortable," Mariah answered, "I know you're not comfortable here."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm gonna go for a ride," he said, standing up, "Clear my head. Maybe get some cigarettes."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," Mariah nodded, "If you can please let me know when you're going to be back."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yoba, what are you my mother?" he grumbled./p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay fuck you," she said shaking her said, "I'm not being unreasonable. I have every right to be worried about you. I'm not trying to stop you from going, or stop you from smoking, or trying to get you to come back at any particular time. I'm asking you for a common fucking courtesy. You may not be the man I married, but you're the closest thing I've got right now. So yeah, I'd appreciate a text after you clear your head a bit so I don't have to lose sleep worrying that something else terrible has happened to you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"She's right. You fucking dick./em "Fine," he said tersely. He didn't mean to be so rude, but he was tense and that's just how it came out. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Maybe I'll apologize to her later. I need to get out of her right now./em/p
p class="MsoNormal"Wordlessly, Mariah hoisted herself off the chair and went into the bedroom. Sebastian began looking around to see if he could find his keys. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Of course you had to piss her off before you could ask her where you keys are./em She came out of the bedroom while he was looking through the kitchen cabinets, and tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped, startled, and turned around. She held out his leather jacket with one hand and keys with another./p
p class="MsoNormal""The silver one is for the garage, the bronze one is for the house, though that door doesn't get locked frequently. Helmet is in the garage," she pulled his wallet and a lighter out of her pocket and handed that to him as well, "I have no clue what your pin is, so I put some extra gold in there just in case you can't figure it out. You can just leave the garage open and then lock it up when you come back."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thank you," Sebastian said in a much kinder tone, slipping on his jacket./p
p class="MsoNormal""Drive safe," she said, turning and heading back into the bedroom./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," he said, mostly to himself./p
p class="MsoNormal"The drive felt good. Comfortable. It helped to clear his mind, but his anxiety remained high. When he arrived at the cliff, he was surprised to see a chest there, similar to the ones he'd seen at the farm. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Of fucking course this place can't just be mine. What is it about this woman that I would want to share my private space with her? I would never. This is mine. Or it should be. I never so much as told anyone else about this place. So why?/em He sighed in frustration sitting at the edge of the cliff, legs dangling down. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"And I gave up going to the city to live on a farm? How ridiculous./em He looked at the twinkling lights off in the distance. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"I guess it could be romantic./em Still he felt a strange sadness looking down at the city. It didn't feel right. strong style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"He/strong didn't feel right. He got up, trying to shake it off./p
p class="MsoNormal"His curiosity got the best of him, and he opened up the chest. Inside there were a couple of blankets and pillows with a bottle of Sebastian's favorite iced tea nestled on top with a small note attached to it./p
p class="MsoNormal"'Thought you might like a little treat.' with a heart drawn underneath the words./p
p class="MsoNormal"So he still came here alone sometimes and with Mariah other times. Did she come here on her own to leave the tea or did she sneak it in the last time they were here together. Sebastian wasn't sure he'd ever know, but he was uncomfortable with the idea of Mariah being here by herself. He closed the chest, leaving the tea and the note inside. It wasn't for him after all. He got back onto his bike and drove a ways to a gas station. His pin hadn't change, so he hadn't needed the gold, but he realized how nice it was for Mariah to think of it anyway. He filled up his tank with his eyes wide at the price of gas, before going inside and buying a pack of cigarettes and a different bottle of tea. He moved his bike into a parking space on the side of the building so as to not be taking up a pump space unnecessarily./p
p class="MsoNormal"It was dark and quiet. Sebastian leaned against the lamppost and lit up a cigarette. The smell did not provide the same comfort he had expected it to. When he took his first drag, his stomach flipped and he immediately started coughing. Sebastian dropped the cigarette when he realized the coughing was going to turn into vomiting and dashed over to the nearest bush and threw up. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"So much for that./em He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his jacket, and tossed the remaining pack of cigarettes into the dumpster. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Not worth it./em He sighed and took a sip of his tea rinsing his mouth out and spitting into the grass behind him./p
p class="MsoNormal"He felt shaky and gross, so he sat down, leaning his back against the lamppost he'd been standing at. He drank his tea and grabbed his phone. He unlocked it, opening up his pictures, and swiping through to a random point. Still nothing was sparking any memories. He clicked on a video and watched approximately four and a half seconds of it before he realized what it was and blushing profusely he stopped. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"I can't imagine agreeing to filming that. Holy shit. What the fuck happened to my life?/emspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanem style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"I feel like I don't know myself at all./em Then he decided to look at the most recent photos. There was a picture that had a timestamp of less than twenty-four hours previous. It was taken at the Saloon. Sebastian had a beer in his hand and his arm around Mariah's shoulders. They were both smiling brightly at the camera./p
p class="MsoNormal""Sorry guys. Those smiles aren't going to last for much longer," he muttered at the picture./p
p class="MsoNormal"He looked through them slowly, trying to piece together what his life was now like. There was a candid picture of Mariah curled up on a chair, buried in an Arctic Rush book he'd never seen before. One of the two of them with a Cave Saga X poster behind them, at some kind of bookstore or something. A picture of a page of a notebook with Sebastian's handwriting all over it, planning out a Solorian Chronicles campaign with a note on the side with an arrow that read 'Good surprise for Riah'. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Maybe I haven't completely lost touch with myself. And I guess if I'm going to marry someone at least I married someone with similar interests as me. /emA few more in there was a picture of Morgan sitting on the biggest fucking pumpkin Sebastian had ever seen, which had clearly grown on the farm. For some reason, it was the image of the farm itself that made him realize it was getting late. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Maybe I should get back./em He assessed how he was feeling. He was no longer shaky and felt ready to drive./p
p class="MsoNormal"He opened up his texts and Mariah was at the top of his message list. He opened up their conversation to let her know that he was heading back. The last two messages between them were messages of love, and despite his urge to do so, he did not want to read further up as it felt like an invasion of privacy. Plus after that video who knew what else he would find in there./p
p class="MsoNormal"'OMW' was all he sent back. Before he even got back onto his bike he got a 'Thanks' in response. It wasn't until he pulled into the garage on the farm that he realized that he had come here instinctively instead up going up the mountain to his mother's home. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Maybe there's something a little closer to the surface than I thought./em He was going to go inside when he saw people standing outside one of the sheds, with the door open and the lights on inside. He slowly made his way over there to see what was going on./p
p class="MsoNormal"As he got closer he could hear Mariah crying as she talked to someone, "I'm sorry," she sniffled, "I shouldn't have sprung that all on you. I just couldn't keep it inside anymore."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hey, hey it's okay," Sebastian recognized Sam's voice though he couldn't see him, "That's what friends are for right? Yoba knows how you lasted all day with that. Holy shit."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I've just been fighting against my instincts all damn day," she continued, "It's been so hard not being physically affectionate with him, and I've found myself getting mad that he hasn't been trying to comfort me, but how could he? He doesn't even know…" she trailed off, "And it's not like I can comfort him either when he doesn't know who the fuck I am. I understand why he doesn't want to talk to anyone else about what's going on, but holy shit it would just be so much easier if he had someone he knew and he was comfortable with for support."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah why doesn't he want to tell anyone?" Sam asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Sam do you think twenty-three or twenty-four year old you would have just been cool and understanding of all this before knowing everything about the town that you do now?" Mariah shook her head, "Things are a lot different now than they were back then."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian moved closer but remained hidden./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sam sighed, "You've got a good point."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Which is why it's so important that you don't tell anyone, especially Sebastian, that you know," Mariah said, starting to cry harder, "Uggg I hate that I broke his trust telling you. Starting our relationship off with betrayal, just fucking great. I just don't know what to do. All I want is my husband back and I don't even know that it's possible. What do I do Sam?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""I won't tell anyone I promise," Sam said, and Sebastian saw that he was rubbing her back, "I don't know what the best thing to do it, but you guys fell in love once right? You can do it again. You're like the best couple I know. It will work out in the end somehow."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks Sam," Mariah sniffled more, "But between the farm and the wedding and being a couple weeks away from giving birth, time is not on my side. Falling in love isn't just some switch you can turn on and off. And what if he doesn't fall back in love with me? What if he just doesn't like me and decides he wants to get a divorce and I don't even get the chance to get him back? I can't…I can't.." she sobbed./p
p class="MsoNormal""It's okay, it's okay," Sam said squeezing her close and letting her cry into his chest./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian was livid that she'd told Sam after he told her not to, but he also felt an immense sadness in the pit of his stomach seeing Mariah fall apart like that. He was tempted to go confront them, but decided against it. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"What good would it do? What's done is done. She wants her life back as much as you want yours back. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal""I wish I could help him, even if it's not going to get his memory back, I hate seeing him so stressed out like this," Mariah said, hiccupping through her tears, "He's talking to me and trusting me more than I would expect, but I think it's only because he feels like he's stuck with me."/p
p class="MsoNormal""You said that he's got like emotional reactions to stuff right? And that some things feel familiar to him even if he doesn't remember? So maybe it's not just cause he's stuck with you, but maybe his instincts from your relationship are guiding him too," Sam suggested./p
p class="MsoNormal""Maybe," Mariah sounded skeptical. There was a pause and she sighed heavily, "I'm so tired Sam. I don't think I've ever been so exhausted before in my life actually. But I'm not sure I'm even going to be able to sleep. Plus I'm just sick to my stomach."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Well for my nephew's sake you better try," Sam said, affectionately rubbing her belly./p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah let out a strangled sounding chuckle, "I've got to get myself together. Seb should be back any time now."/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Shit. I've got to get back to the house before she does./em So Sebastian slipped away, closing the door behind him when he got into the house. A dog came bounding up to him happily, jumping and licking at him before rolling over onto his back for belly rubs. Sebastian couldn't remember the dog's name, if he'd ever been told it in the first place, but he crouched down just the same and pet him, "Good boy."/p
p class="MsoNormal"He stood back up, and the dog rolled back onto his feet, dancing around Sebastian's legs looking for more attention. Sebastian ignored him, opting to unload the contents of his pockets onto the kitchen counter. He didn't know where these things were stored and figured leaving them out in the open was safe enough. The front door opened as he was pulling off his jacket./p
p class="MsoNormal""Hey," Mariah said quietly when she saw him, "Glad you made it back okay."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hey Seb," Sam said popping his head in, "Mariah said you had a rough day. Hope you're feeling better soon."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks," Sebastian nodded./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm gonna let you guys get some rest," Sam said, "But I'll pop by with Sophie tomorrow."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks Sam," Mariah smiled at him gratefully, "Have a good night."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah, you too," Sam smiled, petting the dog, "Relax Charlie I'll see you tomorrow too. Night!" em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Ah yes, Charlie. I think I did hear that name at some point today./em/p
p class="MsoNormal""So I'm going to get ready for bed," Mariah said when they were alone. She was standing across the room from him. Even if he hadn't witnessed it first hand, it was evident she'd been crying, "Normally I'd offer you the bed and sleep on the couch myself, but I'm pulling the pregnancy card, sorry."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," Sebastian nodded, "That's fine." em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Thank Yoba she didn't expect me to sleep in bed with her./em/p
p class="MsoNormal""So, I'll grab my stuff and just go use the bathroom and change in there, okay?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh, yeah," he shrugged, "That's fine. Um, can you show me where this stuff goes?" he gestured to his pile./p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh yeah, of course," Mariah said, "Bring it this way."/p
p class="MsoNormal"He followed her into the bedroom, watching and listening as she pointed and explained, "Phone charger is on the nightstand. Wallet and keys go in the basket on that bookcase. Lighter goes in the weed box on the top of the bookcase. Coat goes into the wardrobe. At some point in the next day or two I'll need to swap out my clothes. No cigarettes?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh, made me sick," he said as he put the lighter away./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm sorry," Mariah frowned./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian shrugged, "S'okay. Better for my health anyway right?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," Mariah said, "Umm, so we share the wardrobe and hamper. That dresser is yours," she pointed, "Obviously that is your work space and stuff, but we share a lot of things. I guess the one plus of your losing your memory is that you have a lot of books and stuff you get to experience for the first time again. The darker green frog is Zeph. Yuki is the lighter one. Most of their stuff is in the box under the table but they have some food in the fridge as well."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian nodded, trying to absorb the information, Yoba was he overloaded with information today. Mariah pointed out one of the chest, letting him know that there were blankets and pillows he could use in there. She went to her dresser and pulled out some pajamas and went into the bathroom. Sebastian opened the chest, pulling out a pillow and a blanket and going over to make his couch comfortable. When he was done he opened his dresser to find some pajamas for himself. When Mariah came back in from the bathroom, she informed him that the white toothbrush was his. Sebastian mumbled a thanks before going to get ready for bed himself./p
p class="MsoNormal"When he returned, the main light of the bedroom was off, but the light on Mariah's nightstand was still on, as was the light in his work space where he'd be sleeping./p
p class="MsoNormal""You don't have to go to bed right now if you don't want to," Mariah said, "Don't worry about bothering me."/p
p class="MsoNormal"She was already lying in bed, surrounded by pillows, her phone in her hand./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm pretty beat, so I probably will just try and get some rest," Sebastian said./p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," Mariah said, "If you, uh, need anything during the night, you can wake me up."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," Sebastian said, though he had no plans on doing so, "Do I need to worry about Morgan coming in here in the morning or anything?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh, yeah I hadn't thought about that," Mariah said, "We should be fine. She doesn't come in here without permission most of the time. If she does and notices or says something, we can just blame it on me being uncomfortable and taking up too much space in bed or something. Thank you by the way. For trying with her. I know I said it before but I can't imagine it's easy for you."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," he said, standing awkwardly, "Well good night."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," she responded, "Good night."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian turned out his light and went to lie down. He heard Mariah putting her phone on her nightstand and then her light went off as well. It was quite, and all things considered Sebastian was relatively comfortable, but despite how drained he felt, he just couldn't sleep. He started humming to himself./p
p class="MsoNormal""What are you humming?" Mariah's tone was low./p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh, I'm not sure," he said, "I don't remember the song name or who sings it. I can stop, sorry."/p
p class="MsoNormal""No, no, please don't," she said, sounding distressed by the suggestion, "Do you remember the words?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh yeah I think," he said./p
p class="MsoNormal"It was quiet for a minute and then Mariah said, "Can you sing it?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Errr, I don't really sing," he said./p
p class="MsoNormal""Um, okay, could you tell me the lyrics then?" she asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Why is it so important?" he asked./p
p class="MsoNormal"She sighed, "Sebastian can you please just humor me?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"He paused, "Okay," He took a deep breath before reciting the chorus, "When I was falling apart/ You picked up my pieces/ Made me feel like a work of art/ Just one look at your face/ And then everything/ Every little thing fell into place/ Right back at the start/ You picked up my pieces/ Made me feel like a work of art"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Holy shit," Mariah said./p
p class="MsoNormal""What?" Sebastian asked, confused, "What's the big deal?" He sat up looking over at the bed, where she was sitting too./p
p class="MsoNormal""I don't know how you remember that. You know why you can't remember the artist or song title? Because you wrote it for me. As a wedding present. And I don't know how you remember it but you do. Holy fucking shit," he realized she'd been crying again, but now she looked happy./p
p class="MsoNormal""Really?" he said./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," she smiled, "Come here I'll show you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"As he got up, unwrapping himself from his blanket, Mariah picked up her phone off her nightstand. He stood at the corner of the bed opposite of her. She looked over at him, "Come sit," she pat the empty bed next to her. With some reluctance he sat down, and she moved his phone so he could see it as well. She hit play on a video of the band that started with Sam introducing the song./p
p class="MsoNormal""So this next song is a very special one. We've never played it in front of a real audience before. Our very own Sebastian," he gestured over to him, "Wrote it as a wedding gift for his wife," there were some cheers from the audience, "They've both allowed me the honor of singing it all for you tonight, and we'll all just have to wonder on our own how amazing it is when Sebastian sings it for her himself. It's called 'Everything into Place' and Mariah, as always, this one's for you!"/p
p class="MsoNormal"They played the song, and it was exactly what Sebastian recognized in his head, "This is it," Sebastian confirmed, "I remember this song. I don't remember writing it, or performing it, but I know it. And I sing this?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Just to me," she said, "And on a rare occasion Morgan. Got a video of that too, hang on."/p
p class="MsoNormal"She scrolled through, finding one and clicking on it. The video was darker, and Sebastian was topless, lying in bed, "We were in a hotel," he said, "I don't know how I know that, but I know that's a hotel. I don't remember anything else, like where we were or why."/p
p class="MsoNormal""It was our honeymoon," Mariah said softly./p
p class="MsoNormal""Did it have something to do with velvet?" Sebastian asked, "It seems like that question makes no sense. But something about velvet feels familiar."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah laughed, "I forgot about that. Kind of yeah. Sam bought you these earmuffs from the hat mouse, long story, won't get into it now, and called them your friendship earmuffs. You might have seen them in the wardrobe, they're blue. Anyway he got them for you and the velvet was from Castle Village. That's where we went on our honeymoon so we could spend sometime in the immersive em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Devil's Eyes/em experience. We also spent a few days at this resort, but that's beside the point. When I first told you about the trip, I teased you saying I thought you might like to see where your earmuffs were made."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Man I wish I remembered that. That sounds really cool. They made a second movie right?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah nodded, "You actually took me to see it on our first 'date' date. Rented out a whole theater actually. It was really sweet. And then there was a third, but it wasn't as good."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hmmm," Sebastian said, "I guess at least the second one is something I can look forward to enjoying for the first time again."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Actually you should really be looking forward to the second to last Cave Saga X book that came out. You told me when you let me read your copy that you wished you could read it for the first time again."/p
p class="MsoNormal""And we went to a book release for the most recent one?" Sebastian said, "I think I saw a picture of that."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah we did," Mariah nodded, "That was a lot of fun."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So you're as big of a nerd as I am then huh?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah laughed, "Yeah, I am."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I guess marrying you makes a little more sense then," Sebastian said./p
p class="MsoNormal""You seem to be borderline remembering stuff from right after our wedding," Mariah said, "So that's hopeful. Maybe there was enough suffering today that you got those little bits back."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Maybe," Sebastian said, though he was skeptical. Without more information he didn't think it was that likely, but he wasn't about to say that to her./p
p class="MsoNormal""I know it's probably stupid, because it's not helpful right now, but it really means a lot to me that you remember my song," Mariah said quietly, "It's selfish, but it makes me feel like less of a stranger to you or something. Like my Sebastian wants me to know he's still in there," she wiped away some tears from the corners of her eyes and sniffed, "Sorry."/p
p class="MsoNormal""It's okay," Sebastian said, "I get it. I know you said it's worse for me, and I'm going to agree with you on that, but your world got flipped upside down too. It's okay to be selfish. And really I think we both want the same thing, but it's just different. We want our lives back right?span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanThe only difference is I don't care if that means I get my memories back or if I just get to pick up my life from where I left it off at twenty-four. You getting your life back is only the first option. And that's the only one that has the potential to happen right? So when it comes down to it we both do want the same thing."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah, I guess you're right," Mariah sighed./p
p class="MsoNormal"There was a pause and then Sebastian moved to get up, "I'm going to go to bed now. Good night."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Night," Mariah said, "Hum as much as you want."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian chuckled, "Thanks."/p
p class="MsoNormal"It was quiet once more when Sebastian lied back down. The only sounds Sebastian heard were the crickets outside, his own breathing, and the occasionally sniffling from Mariah. He did feel bad for her. She seemed like a good person, and she obviously really loved him. He was still mad about what had happened with Sam, but, he reasoned, if he were in her shoes he would have wanted an ally too, so he couldn't really blame her. He decided that when Sam came over the next day he would let them know that he knew about their conversation. No sense in forcing Sam to put on a show, and Mariah did have a point that it would be nice to have someone else, someone that he knew, to connect with. After developing that resolve, Sebastian found it much easier to drift off to sleep./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian attempted to stop his tears, but he wanted to do nothing more than let himself fall apart, "I don't….." he trailed off unsure of how to finish the sentence. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"I don't know what to do. I don't want to. I don't know how. I don't know anything. I don't belong here./em/p
p class="MsoNormal""My suggestion is that we just play up you not feeling well and just try faking it for now. Abby and Carver won't stay too long. Morgan will have a bath after dinner and then probably pass out pretty quickly and then we can try and regroup or something. But it's up to you," Mariah said./p
p class="MsoNormal""I don't know. Sure. Whatever," Sebastian shrugged. The whole thing sounded awful and they were fucked anyway. He sniffled, using the sleeves of his hoodie to wipe at his face, trying to gather himself./p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," Mariah sighed, "Look, I know you don't know me. I'm going to give you some space. This is a fucking shit show. If there's anything I can do to help let me know. Not that I'm doing so great myself but at least I have my memory."/p
p class="MsoNormal"She took a deep breath and turned around to leave. Sebastian considered asking her to stay. He felt he owed her something. Some kind of comfort. Despite his thought that he was getting the worse end of the stick, he knew that her life had also been turned upside down by this. But what could he even say to her? span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanShe was right, he didn't know her. In fact he had been rude to her on and off throughout the day, and she still was trying her damnedest to be nice to him. To make things better for him, even though she was struggling herself. And he wasn't even her Sebastian. In some ways he was a stranger to her too. He didn't have too long to linger on it, as things in the house suddenly got louder. Mariah had closed the bedroom door and he was far enough away that everything was muffled, but he heard the voices just the same. Even without hearing her words, he could tell Mariah was putting on a show. Her tone didn't come close to matching how he knew she felt. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Definitely a better actor than you./em/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian had at least stopped crying. He guessed he probably looked like shit, but if he was supposed to be exaggerating whatever strange illness they were pretending he had, it might have been for the best. His plan was still to hide in the bedroom as long as he could, but he knew he'd have to come out sooner or later. He waited a while, looking at his phone once again, willing himself to recognize something to no avail. He began to hear the sounds of plates and silverware when the bedroom door creaked open. Mariah slid back in, rushing over to his side./p
p class="MsoNormal""Real quick," she said hastily, coming over to his side, "If Morgan calls you Fro-gie or starts hopping around like a frog, call her Greenie. Tell her your foot is still hurt and you can't hop yet. Her favorite song at bedtime, which I can basically guarantee that she will ask you to sing, is Pumpkin Patch. If she asks you something or says something to you that doesn't make sense to you, act over the top confused, tell her that you don't know how, or don't remember, and ask her to show you. She'll do it and it will definitely buy you some time. You can also say, 'Let's see what mommy thinks' and she'll come get me. I'll help out as much as I can, but she's looking to spend some time with her dad. Lots of smiles, as much as you can muster, and over exaggerated reactions to things. Do not, under any circumstances, play hide and seek with her. If all else fails, come over to me and put your forehead against mine and you can whisper in my ear. I know that's a lot to ask of you, but the dad bar has been set pretty high."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian took a breath, "I'll try."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Mommy, daddy, mommy daddy!" Morgan came bounding in the room./p
p class="MsoNormal""Quiet voice Morgan," Mariah said, turning to the little girl, "Remember daddy still doesn't feel very good. We need to be gentle right?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Right," Morgan said in a softer tone, nodding her head solemnly, "Auntie Abby said to tell you stop kissing it dinner time."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah chuckled, "Thank you baby. Did you wash up yet?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh-huh," Morgan nodded, rocking back and forth on her feet, "Daddy I sit with you at diner?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Next to," Mariah corrected, "If daddy says it's okay, you can sit next to him at dinner, but not in his lap."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Daddy I sit next to you?" she amended./p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh sure," Sebastian said, nodding his head./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yay!" she said bouncing off again, "Come on!"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah mouthed 'thank you' at him before they left the room. They sat down at the table in the kitchen where Abby and Carver already were. Sebastian looked down at the bowl in front of him./p
p class="MsoNormal""Pumpkin soup," he said, before looking up at Mariah, "Thanks."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Of course," Mariah smiled at him warmly. Sebastian wasn't sure if it was for show or not, "I was hoping your favorite would help you feel better."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Much of the dinner conversation was based on the farm and all that work that was done earlier that day. Sebastian was able to get through the meal easily enough. Carver thanked Mariah for the food and announced that they should be heading out once they were done. Mariah thanked them again for all their help, and assured them that they could take care of the dishes, and not to worry, they'd done enough for the day. Morgan loudly announced that she had to go potty, which Mariah went to help with./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian stood up, following Abby and Carver to the door. That's something that people did when saying goodbye to guests right?/p
p class="MsoNormal""Seb, I'm sorry if I was a bit harsh on you earlier. And for all of the other mean thoughts I had about you later in the day. You really do look like shit," Abby said from the doorway./p
p class="MsoNormal""Gee thanks," Sebastian said sarcastically./p
p class="MsoNormal""The point is, I hope you feel better," Abby said without reacting to his comment, "I'm not sure what's actually wrong with you, but I don't want it. I think you guys should be set for tomorrow, but you still need any help, let us know, okay? Preferably at a more normal morning time and not at the ass crack of dawn."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks," Sebastian mumbled./p
p class="MsoNormal""Feel better Seb," Carver added before they stepped off the porch./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian went back inside. Mariah called to him from the bathroom, "Hey Seb I've got Morgan's bath. Can you work on the dishes?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh yeah, sure," he called back. He didn't really want to be doing anything truthfully, but he could manage doing some style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanHe found the tedium and peace somewhat helpful in getting him to relax a bit. He was just finishing when the sounds from the bathroom got louder as the door opened./p
p class="MsoNormal""Dad-dy," Morgan called to him with a giggle, "Can Fro-gie put me to bed?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"What did Mariah say to call her?/em "Fro-gie's foot is still hurt, so he can't hop."/p
p class="MsoNormal""But Greenie can hop up to bed," Mariah added./p
p class="MsoNormal"Morgan giggled excitedly and hopped up the steps, ribbiting as she went./p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah gestured for him to go ahead up the stairs, "You go ahead. Stairs take me a little bit," she pat her stomach./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian nodded, and followed Morgan up the stairs. Mariah came up behind him, letting out a heavy sigh when she got to the top. Sebastian felt awkward, but the process was straight forward. They read her a story and as Mariah predicted, she requested Sebastian sing her Pumpkin Patch. If Mariah hadn't been quietly singing along next to him he would have stumbled along, having not thought of the song in many years./p
p class="MsoNormal"When he hugged her goodnight, Morgan squeezed him tightly, "I love you daddy. I hope you feel better really soon."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Me too," he agreed, "Sleep well."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thank you," Mariah said to him when they got back downstairs, "I'm sure that wasn't easy for you."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah well, it's not her fault her dad is suddenly missing. It's not like she could understand, besides which it's not fair," Sebastian said, "She's just a kid. She doesn't deserve to be dealing with this."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So we need to talk through this," Mariah said, lowering herself into an arm chair in the living room./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'd rather it just go away and not have to deal with it," Sebastian was honest, though not helpful./p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah rolled her eyes, "Well no shit. The fact of the matter is we're stuck with this. How's your head?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""It's not great, but it's the best it's been all day," he answered./p
p class="MsoNormal""And nothing is coming back to you? Not that I really expect it to after what he said."/p
p class="MsoNormal"He shook his head, "Some things give me emotions. Things feel familiar, but like just out of my grasp. It's almost like déjà vu expect I'm not actually remembering anything."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah's brows furrowed as she thought, "I'm not sure which one of us is supposed to be suffering for the curse to break, me or you. I also have no idea how to accomplish that."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian snorted, "Maybe we don't have to do anything. We're suffering right now after all."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah sighed, "So what do you want to do?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""I don't really have too many choices do I? I apparently don't have a home to go back to. I'm stuck here with you. Besides which going literally anywhere else would lead to a lot of questions that I don't want or probably have the ability to answer. Unless I wanted to go stay with a wizard. Or maybe a witch. But those both sound like terrible options."/p
p class="MsoNormal""If you really don't want to be here I'm not going to stop you from leaving. I'm sure you could stay in the guest room at your mom's house. Would probably be slightly more comfortable than sharing a space with a total stranger."/p
p class="MsoNormal""And what exactly would I say is the reason for me being there?" Sebastian questioned, "Goes back to my whole point of excessive questions if I go anywhere else. Like I told you earlier, I don't want anyone thinking I'm crazy."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I guess," she frowned, "I guess you could go to a hotel if you wanted. Nobody would ask questions there."/p
p class="MsoNormal""But then wouldn't people question where I was?" he asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""If they noticed you weren't around, yeah," Mariah said./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm fucked one way or another," Sebastian said, "So I might as well be fucked with one of the only people here who knows I'm fucked. I don't know any of you, but I tend to trust you more than the magical beings. Why are you trying to get me out so badly anyway?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Sebastian I'm not trying to get you out. I'm just trying to do something to make you more comfortable," Mariah answered, "I know you're not comfortable here."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm gonna go for a ride," he said, standing up, "Clear my head. Maybe get some cigarettes."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," Mariah nodded, "If you can please let me know when you're going to be back."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yoba, what are you my mother?" he grumbled./p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay fuck you," she said shaking her said, "I'm not being unreasonable. I have every right to be worried about you. I'm not trying to stop you from going, or stop you from smoking, or trying to get you to come back at any particular time. I'm asking you for a common fucking courtesy. You may not be the man I married, but you're the closest thing I've got right now. So yeah, I'd appreciate a text after you clear your head a bit so I don't have to lose sleep worrying that something else terrible has happened to you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"She's right. You fucking dick./em "Fine," he said tersely. He didn't mean to be so rude, but he was tense and that's just how it came out. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Maybe I'll apologize to her later. I need to get out of her right now./em/p
p class="MsoNormal"Wordlessly, Mariah hoisted herself off the chair and went into the bedroom. Sebastian began looking around to see if he could find his keys. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Of course you had to piss her off before you could ask her where you keys are./em She came out of the bedroom while he was looking through the kitchen cabinets, and tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped, startled, and turned around. She held out his leather jacket with one hand and keys with another./p
p class="MsoNormal""The silver one is for the garage, the bronze one is for the house, though that door doesn't get locked frequently. Helmet is in the garage," she pulled his wallet and a lighter out of her pocket and handed that to him as well, "I have no clue what your pin is, so I put some extra gold in there just in case you can't figure it out. You can just leave the garage open and then lock it up when you come back."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thank you," Sebastian said in a much kinder tone, slipping on his jacket./p
p class="MsoNormal""Drive safe," she said, turning and heading back into the bedroom./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," he said, mostly to himself./p
p class="MsoNormal"The drive felt good. Comfortable. It helped to clear his mind, but his anxiety remained high. When he arrived at the cliff, he was surprised to see a chest there, similar to the ones he'd seen at the farm. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Of fucking course this place can't just be mine. What is it about this woman that I would want to share my private space with her? I would never. This is mine. Or it should be. I never so much as told anyone else about this place. So why?/em He sighed in frustration sitting at the edge of the cliff, legs dangling down. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"And I gave up going to the city to live on a farm? How ridiculous./em He looked at the twinkling lights off in the distance. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"I guess it could be romantic./em Still he felt a strange sadness looking down at the city. It didn't feel right. strong style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"He/strong didn't feel right. He got up, trying to shake it off./p
p class="MsoNormal"His curiosity got the best of him, and he opened up the chest. Inside there were a couple of blankets and pillows with a bottle of Sebastian's favorite iced tea nestled on top with a small note attached to it./p
p class="MsoNormal"'Thought you might like a little treat.' with a heart drawn underneath the words./p
p class="MsoNormal"So he still came here alone sometimes and with Mariah other times. Did she come here on her own to leave the tea or did she sneak it in the last time they were here together. Sebastian wasn't sure he'd ever know, but he was uncomfortable with the idea of Mariah being here by herself. He closed the chest, leaving the tea and the note inside. It wasn't for him after all. He got back onto his bike and drove a ways to a gas station. His pin hadn't change, so he hadn't needed the gold, but he realized how nice it was for Mariah to think of it anyway. He filled up his tank with his eyes wide at the price of gas, before going inside and buying a pack of cigarettes and a different bottle of tea. He moved his bike into a parking space on the side of the building so as to not be taking up a pump space unnecessarily./p
p class="MsoNormal"It was dark and quiet. Sebastian leaned against the lamppost and lit up a cigarette. The smell did not provide the same comfort he had expected it to. When he took his first drag, his stomach flipped and he immediately started coughing. Sebastian dropped the cigarette when he realized the coughing was going to turn into vomiting and dashed over to the nearest bush and threw up. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"So much for that./em He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his jacket, and tossed the remaining pack of cigarettes into the dumpster. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Not worth it./em He sighed and took a sip of his tea rinsing his mouth out and spitting into the grass behind him./p
p class="MsoNormal"He felt shaky and gross, so he sat down, leaning his back against the lamppost he'd been standing at. He drank his tea and grabbed his phone. He unlocked it, opening up his pictures, and swiping through to a random point. Still nothing was sparking any memories. He clicked on a video and watched approximately four and a half seconds of it before he realized what it was and blushing profusely he stopped. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"I can't imagine agreeing to filming that. Holy shit. What the fuck happened to my life?/emspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanem style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"I feel like I don't know myself at all./em Then he decided to look at the most recent photos. There was a picture that had a timestamp of less than twenty-four hours previous. It was taken at the Saloon. Sebastian had a beer in his hand and his arm around Mariah's shoulders. They were both smiling brightly at the camera./p
p class="MsoNormal""Sorry guys. Those smiles aren't going to last for much longer," he muttered at the picture./p
p class="MsoNormal"He looked through them slowly, trying to piece together what his life was now like. There was a candid picture of Mariah curled up on a chair, buried in an Arctic Rush book he'd never seen before. One of the two of them with a Cave Saga X poster behind them, at some kind of bookstore or something. A picture of a page of a notebook with Sebastian's handwriting all over it, planning out a Solorian Chronicles campaign with a note on the side with an arrow that read 'Good surprise for Riah'. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Maybe I haven't completely lost touch with myself. And I guess if I'm going to marry someone at least I married someone with similar interests as me. /emA few more in there was a picture of Morgan sitting on the biggest fucking pumpkin Sebastian had ever seen, which had clearly grown on the farm. For some reason, it was the image of the farm itself that made him realize it was getting late. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Maybe I should get back./em He assessed how he was feeling. He was no longer shaky and felt ready to drive./p
p class="MsoNormal"He opened up his texts and Mariah was at the top of his message list. He opened up their conversation to let her know that he was heading back. The last two messages between them were messages of love, and despite his urge to do so, he did not want to read further up as it felt like an invasion of privacy. Plus after that video who knew what else he would find in there./p
p class="MsoNormal"'OMW' was all he sent back. Before he even got back onto his bike he got a 'Thanks' in response. It wasn't until he pulled into the garage on the farm that he realized that he had come here instinctively instead up going up the mountain to his mother's home. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Maybe there's something a little closer to the surface than I thought./em He was going to go inside when he saw people standing outside one of the sheds, with the door open and the lights on inside. He slowly made his way over there to see what was going on./p
p class="MsoNormal"As he got closer he could hear Mariah crying as she talked to someone, "I'm sorry," she sniffled, "I shouldn't have sprung that all on you. I just couldn't keep it inside anymore."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hey, hey it's okay," Sebastian recognized Sam's voice though he couldn't see him, "That's what friends are for right? Yoba knows how you lasted all day with that. Holy shit."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I've just been fighting against my instincts all damn day," she continued, "It's been so hard not being physically affectionate with him, and I've found myself getting mad that he hasn't been trying to comfort me, but how could he? He doesn't even know…" she trailed off, "And it's not like I can comfort him either when he doesn't know who the fuck I am. I understand why he doesn't want to talk to anyone else about what's going on, but holy shit it would just be so much easier if he had someone he knew and he was comfortable with for support."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah why doesn't he want to tell anyone?" Sam asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Sam do you think twenty-three or twenty-four year old you would have just been cool and understanding of all this before knowing everything about the town that you do now?" Mariah shook her head, "Things are a lot different now than they were back then."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian moved closer but remained hidden./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sam sighed, "You've got a good point."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Which is why it's so important that you don't tell anyone, especially Sebastian, that you know," Mariah said, starting to cry harder, "Uggg I hate that I broke his trust telling you. Starting our relationship off with betrayal, just fucking great. I just don't know what to do. All I want is my husband back and I don't even know that it's possible. What do I do Sam?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""I won't tell anyone I promise," Sam said, and Sebastian saw that he was rubbing her back, "I don't know what the best thing to do it, but you guys fell in love once right? You can do it again. You're like the best couple I know. It will work out in the end somehow."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks Sam," Mariah sniffled more, "But between the farm and the wedding and being a couple weeks away from giving birth, time is not on my side. Falling in love isn't just some switch you can turn on and off. And what if he doesn't fall back in love with me? What if he just doesn't like me and decides he wants to get a divorce and I don't even get the chance to get him back? I can't…I can't.." she sobbed./p
p class="MsoNormal""It's okay, it's okay," Sam said squeezing her close and letting her cry into his chest./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian was livid that she'd told Sam after he told her not to, but he also felt an immense sadness in the pit of his stomach seeing Mariah fall apart like that. He was tempted to go confront them, but decided against it. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"What good would it do? What's done is done. She wants her life back as much as you want yours back. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal""I wish I could help him, even if it's not going to get his memory back, I hate seeing him so stressed out like this," Mariah said, hiccupping through her tears, "He's talking to me and trusting me more than I would expect, but I think it's only because he feels like he's stuck with me."/p
p class="MsoNormal""You said that he's got like emotional reactions to stuff right? And that some things feel familiar to him even if he doesn't remember? So maybe it's not just cause he's stuck with you, but maybe his instincts from your relationship are guiding him too," Sam suggested./p
p class="MsoNormal""Maybe," Mariah sounded skeptical. There was a pause and she sighed heavily, "I'm so tired Sam. I don't think I've ever been so exhausted before in my life actually. But I'm not sure I'm even going to be able to sleep. Plus I'm just sick to my stomach."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Well for my nephew's sake you better try," Sam said, affectionately rubbing her belly./p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah let out a strangled sounding chuckle, "I've got to get myself together. Seb should be back any time now."/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Shit. I've got to get back to the house before she does./em So Sebastian slipped away, closing the door behind him when he got into the house. A dog came bounding up to him happily, jumping and licking at him before rolling over onto his back for belly rubs. Sebastian couldn't remember the dog's name, if he'd ever been told it in the first place, but he crouched down just the same and pet him, "Good boy."/p
p class="MsoNormal"He stood back up, and the dog rolled back onto his feet, dancing around Sebastian's legs looking for more attention. Sebastian ignored him, opting to unload the contents of his pockets onto the kitchen counter. He didn't know where these things were stored and figured leaving them out in the open was safe enough. The front door opened as he was pulling off his jacket./p
p class="MsoNormal""Hey," Mariah said quietly when she saw him, "Glad you made it back okay."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hey Seb," Sam said popping his head in, "Mariah said you had a rough day. Hope you're feeling better soon."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks," Sebastian nodded./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm gonna let you guys get some rest," Sam said, "But I'll pop by with Sophie tomorrow."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks Sam," Mariah smiled at him gratefully, "Have a good night."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah, you too," Sam smiled, petting the dog, "Relax Charlie I'll see you tomorrow too. Night!" em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Ah yes, Charlie. I think I did hear that name at some point today./em/p
p class="MsoNormal""So I'm going to get ready for bed," Mariah said when they were alone. She was standing across the room from him. Even if he hadn't witnessed it first hand, it was evident she'd been crying, "Normally I'd offer you the bed and sleep on the couch myself, but I'm pulling the pregnancy card, sorry."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," Sebastian nodded, "That's fine." em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Thank Yoba she didn't expect me to sleep in bed with her./em/p
p class="MsoNormal""So, I'll grab my stuff and just go use the bathroom and change in there, okay?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh, yeah," he shrugged, "That's fine. Um, can you show me where this stuff goes?" he gestured to his pile./p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh yeah, of course," Mariah said, "Bring it this way."/p
p class="MsoNormal"He followed her into the bedroom, watching and listening as she pointed and explained, "Phone charger is on the nightstand. Wallet and keys go in the basket on that bookcase. Lighter goes in the weed box on the top of the bookcase. Coat goes into the wardrobe. At some point in the next day or two I'll need to swap out my clothes. No cigarettes?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh, made me sick," he said as he put the lighter away./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm sorry," Mariah frowned./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian shrugged, "S'okay. Better for my health anyway right?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," Mariah said, "Umm, so we share the wardrobe and hamper. That dresser is yours," she pointed, "Obviously that is your work space and stuff, but we share a lot of things. I guess the one plus of your losing your memory is that you have a lot of books and stuff you get to experience for the first time again. The darker green frog is Zeph. Yuki is the lighter one. Most of their stuff is in the box under the table but they have some food in the fridge as well."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian nodded, trying to absorb the information, Yoba was he overloaded with information today. Mariah pointed out one of the chest, letting him know that there were blankets and pillows he could use in there. She went to her dresser and pulled out some pajamas and went into the bathroom. Sebastian opened the chest, pulling out a pillow and a blanket and going over to make his couch comfortable. When he was done he opened his dresser to find some pajamas for himself. When Mariah came back in from the bathroom, she informed him that the white toothbrush was his. Sebastian mumbled a thanks before going to get ready for bed himself./p
p class="MsoNormal"When he returned, the main light of the bedroom was off, but the light on Mariah's nightstand was still on, as was the light in his work space where he'd be sleeping./p
p class="MsoNormal""You don't have to go to bed right now if you don't want to," Mariah said, "Don't worry about bothering me."/p
p class="MsoNormal"She was already lying in bed, surrounded by pillows, her phone in her hand./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm pretty beat, so I probably will just try and get some rest," Sebastian said./p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," Mariah said, "If you, uh, need anything during the night, you can wake me up."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," Sebastian said, though he had no plans on doing so, "Do I need to worry about Morgan coming in here in the morning or anything?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh, yeah I hadn't thought about that," Mariah said, "We should be fine. She doesn't come in here without permission most of the time. If she does and notices or says something, we can just blame it on me being uncomfortable and taking up too much space in bed or something. Thank you by the way. For trying with her. I know I said it before but I can't imagine it's easy for you."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," he said, standing awkwardly, "Well good night."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," she responded, "Good night."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian turned out his light and went to lie down. He heard Mariah putting her phone on her nightstand and then her light went off as well. It was quite, and all things considered Sebastian was relatively comfortable, but despite how drained he felt, he just couldn't sleep. He started humming to himself./p
p class="MsoNormal""What are you humming?" Mariah's tone was low./p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh, I'm not sure," he said, "I don't remember the song name or who sings it. I can stop, sorry."/p
p class="MsoNormal""No, no, please don't," she said, sounding distressed by the suggestion, "Do you remember the words?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh yeah I think," he said./p
p class="MsoNormal"It was quiet for a minute and then Mariah said, "Can you sing it?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Errr, I don't really sing," he said./p
p class="MsoNormal""Um, okay, could you tell me the lyrics then?" she asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Why is it so important?" he asked./p
p class="MsoNormal"She sighed, "Sebastian can you please just humor me?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"He paused, "Okay," He took a deep breath before reciting the chorus, "When I was falling apart/ You picked up my pieces/ Made me feel like a work of art/ Just one look at your face/ And then everything/ Every little thing fell into place/ Right back at the start/ You picked up my pieces/ Made me feel like a work of art"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Holy shit," Mariah said./p
p class="MsoNormal""What?" Sebastian asked, confused, "What's the big deal?" He sat up looking over at the bed, where she was sitting too./p
p class="MsoNormal""I don't know how you remember that. You know why you can't remember the artist or song title? Because you wrote it for me. As a wedding present. And I don't know how you remember it but you do. Holy fucking shit," he realized she'd been crying again, but now she looked happy./p
p class="MsoNormal""Really?" he said./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," she smiled, "Come here I'll show you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"As he got up, unwrapping himself from his blanket, Mariah picked up her phone off her nightstand. He stood at the corner of the bed opposite of her. She looked over at him, "Come sit," she pat the empty bed next to her. With some reluctance he sat down, and she moved his phone so he could see it as well. She hit play on a video of the band that started with Sam introducing the song./p
p class="MsoNormal""So this next song is a very special one. We've never played it in front of a real audience before. Our very own Sebastian," he gestured over to him, "Wrote it as a wedding gift for his wife," there were some cheers from the audience, "They've both allowed me the honor of singing it all for you tonight, and we'll all just have to wonder on our own how amazing it is when Sebastian sings it for her himself. It's called 'Everything into Place' and Mariah, as always, this one's for you!"/p
p class="MsoNormal"They played the song, and it was exactly what Sebastian recognized in his head, "This is it," Sebastian confirmed, "I remember this song. I don't remember writing it, or performing it, but I know it. And I sing this?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Just to me," she said, "And on a rare occasion Morgan. Got a video of that too, hang on."/p
p class="MsoNormal"She scrolled through, finding one and clicking on it. The video was darker, and Sebastian was topless, lying in bed, "We were in a hotel," he said, "I don't know how I know that, but I know that's a hotel. I don't remember anything else, like where we were or why."/p
p class="MsoNormal""It was our honeymoon," Mariah said softly./p
p class="MsoNormal""Did it have something to do with velvet?" Sebastian asked, "It seems like that question makes no sense. But something about velvet feels familiar."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah laughed, "I forgot about that. Kind of yeah. Sam bought you these earmuffs from the hat mouse, long story, won't get into it now, and called them your friendship earmuffs. You might have seen them in the wardrobe, they're blue. Anyway he got them for you and the velvet was from Castle Village. That's where we went on our honeymoon so we could spend sometime in the immersive em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Devil's Eyes/em experience. We also spent a few days at this resort, but that's beside the point. When I first told you about the trip, I teased you saying I thought you might like to see where your earmuffs were made."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Man I wish I remembered that. That sounds really cool. They made a second movie right?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah nodded, "You actually took me to see it on our first 'date' date. Rented out a whole theater actually. It was really sweet. And then there was a third, but it wasn't as good."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hmmm," Sebastian said, "I guess at least the second one is something I can look forward to enjoying for the first time again."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Actually you should really be looking forward to the second to last Cave Saga X book that came out. You told me when you let me read your copy that you wished you could read it for the first time again."/p
p class="MsoNormal""And we went to a book release for the most recent one?" Sebastian said, "I think I saw a picture of that."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah we did," Mariah nodded, "That was a lot of fun."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So you're as big of a nerd as I am then huh?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah laughed, "Yeah, I am."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I guess marrying you makes a little more sense then," Sebastian said./p
p class="MsoNormal""You seem to be borderline remembering stuff from right after our wedding," Mariah said, "So that's hopeful. Maybe there was enough suffering today that you got those little bits back."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Maybe," Sebastian said, though he was skeptical. Without more information he didn't think it was that likely, but he wasn't about to say that to her./p
p class="MsoNormal""I know it's probably stupid, because it's not helpful right now, but it really means a lot to me that you remember my song," Mariah said quietly, "It's selfish, but it makes me feel like less of a stranger to you or something. Like my Sebastian wants me to know he's still in there," she wiped away some tears from the corners of her eyes and sniffed, "Sorry."/p
p class="MsoNormal""It's okay," Sebastian said, "I get it. I know you said it's worse for me, and I'm going to agree with you on that, but your world got flipped upside down too. It's okay to be selfish. And really I think we both want the same thing, but it's just different. We want our lives back right?span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanThe only difference is I don't care if that means I get my memories back or if I just get to pick up my life from where I left it off at twenty-four. You getting your life back is only the first option. And that's the only one that has the potential to happen right? So when it comes down to it we both do want the same thing."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah, I guess you're right," Mariah sighed./p
p class="MsoNormal"There was a pause and then Sebastian moved to get up, "I'm going to go to bed now. Good night."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Night," Mariah said, "Hum as much as you want."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian chuckled, "Thanks."/p
p class="MsoNormal"It was quiet once more when Sebastian lied back down. The only sounds Sebastian heard were the crickets outside, his own breathing, and the occasionally sniffling from Mariah. He did feel bad for her. She seemed like a good person, and she obviously really loved him. He was still mad about what had happened with Sam, but, he reasoned, if he were in her shoes he would have wanted an ally too, so he couldn't really blame her. He decided that when Sam came over the next day he would let them know that he knew about their conversation. No sense in forcing Sam to put on a show, and Mariah did have a point that it would be nice to have someone else, someone that he knew, to connect with. After developing that resolve, Sebastian found it much easier to drift off to sleep./p
