p class="MsoNormal"Getting Morgan ready, including breakfast, didn't take very long. Soon the three of them were out on the farm. Mariah put Morgan in charge of deciding what they were doing when and showing them how to do it. It was obviously for Sebastian's benefit, but it had turned into a game for Morgan. Despite the fun that she had, Sebastian was able to learn from it. He had some lingering instincts, but for the most part it felt new. He wasn't sure that he'd remember everything perfectly, but now he felt more confident that he'd be able to get things done if he had style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"When Robin arrived at the house, he leaned into her hug, gathering a sense of comfort from her. He apparently had become a more affectionate because Robin didn't seem to think his behavior was strange at all. She looked good, happy. She didn't look much older, which he was not surprised by. Somehow his mother aged more slowly than anyone he'd ever met./p
p class="MsoNormal""Alright you kids have fun," she said as he and Mariah headed out the door, "Don't worry about getting back here at any specific time for me. Morgan and I will be just fine and you two have limited time to enjoy yourselves before my next grandchild gets here."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks Robin," Mariah said, with a smile. Sebastian couldn't help but roll his eyes, "We'll let you know when we're on our way. Be good for grandma!" she added, addressing Morgan specifically./p
p class="MsoNormal""Of course she will," Robin said, crouching down to give Morgan a squeeze, "Right peanut?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Right," Morgan grinned, and something told Sebastian she had Robin wrapped around her little finger and was about to get completely spoiled./p
p class="MsoNormal"They got into the truck and Mariah started it up, "So where's your head at?" she asked him as she backed out, "I'm sorry by the way. About my reaction this morning. I'm not handling my stress well."/p
p class="MsoNormal""It's okay," Sebastian said./p
p class="MsoNormal""It's not really, but thank you. You're being kinder to me than I deserve," Mariah said, "I was rude."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I wasn't the best person either," Sebastian said, hoping she would feel a bit better./p
p class="MsoNormal""Nobody is during a fight," Mariah sighed, "But honestly, if you need a break and want me to drop you off somewhere I will. It's not fair of me to ask so much of you. I won't take it personally, and I swear to you that it's not because I don't want you around, okay? I legitimately want to give you space if you need space to process things."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I don't want you to drop me off," he assured her, "That was a dumb suggestion. I've come to the conclusion that I'm only doing as well as I am because of whatever instincts I have that stayed with me. My anxiety just got the best of me in that moment, which I'm sure is going to happen again."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Totally reasonable and to be expected," Mariah agreed, "And I know I keep saying it, but you really are doing incredibly, all things considered. I honestly can't thank you enough for everything. Really you're helping me stay sane more than you could realize."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks," Sebastian mumbled. The compliment was nice, but he still felt uncomfortable./p
p class="MsoNormal"There was silence between them, which surprisingly didn't feel style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanHe wondered if Mariah was lost in her thoughts or if she was just trying to give him space. He cleared his throat, "So, um, is it okay if I ask you some questions? Some of that stuff about the wizard and trying to understand the curse…"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh yeah sure," Mariah nodded, looking over at him briefly before refocusing on the road, "Shoot."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So I was thinking about the curse, and I know we can't know details, but seeing as it was meant for Rasmodius, do you think the suffering would be tailored to him? Because I'm curious if he would have lost his memory too and if he did if it would be for the same time frame or something else. Like the six years I lost seems very specific to my life."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hmmm, that's a good point," Mariah said thinking, "I hadn't thought about that before. Much of what Rasmodius does is research, and losing his memory would be detrimental to that, but would not be quite as catastrophic to his life as it has been for you. I suspect he'd end up redoing his work or at the very least be confused by his notes, but it would largely just be a time waster instead of quite so drastically life altering the way it is for you. He doesn't have too many relationships, so if he lost the same time frame, it would really just be losing me. I'm not sure how long it would even take him to realize he'd lost his memory in the first place. I can't see it being as evident as it was for you. I'm inclined to think that there was a memory loss aspect of the curse but that it was a generic to be the most detrimental. So in your case you lost all your memory of what made your current life make sense. Rasmodius may have lost all his memory of his current research. I mean I have no clue, but that's my best guess."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So you think that the curse had more generic rules then? Like it would have similar affects to whoever got cursed, memory loss, suffering, but the specifics of how the curse would take affect would vary based on the person?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah shrugged, "I don't really know, but it seems like that might be possible. The only thing I'm going off is the specific nature of the time loss. I can't make any sense of why six years would be significant to Rasmodius. Of course I don't really know anything about his research, he's not exactly the most open person."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hmmm," Sebastian thought, "Okay, well for now since we have no way of knowing, let's just say the curse was tailored to him. What would make him suffer?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah didn't respond right away, but Sebastian could see that she was thinking about it, "Losing his research I suppose. Never finding an apprentice to continue his work after he passes. Which I'm betting becomes more and more likely each day since he doesn't really talk to anyone. Having his ex-wife move on and become a genuinely happy person who no longer cares about him enough to curse him in the first place."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Well so the closest thing to that I could achieve would be you moving on I guess," Sebastian said, "Since I don't do research or have a need for an apprentice."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Or an equivalent to that would be to lose your game somehow," Mariah said, "Although I'm not sure that would have the same weight to it as Ras' research."/p
p class="MsoNormal""And the witch seems to be pretty powerful from what I can tell," Sebastian said./p
p class="MsoNormal""It's hard to say. It's not like there's a ton of magic people around to compare to," Mariah said, "I've also never met her or really seen much of her magic. I guess she is prone to cursing things."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Would you say she's more powerful than Rasmodius is?" Sebastian asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Not a clue," Mariah shrugged./p
p class="MsoNormal"It wasn't helpful, but Sebastian nodded anyway. There was no way he could expect Mariah to know everything. He sighed at his thought, "I'm not sure if it's fortunate or unfortunate, but my best guess is that the curse was adjusted to be tailored to me instead of whatever her intent was with Rasmodius."/p
p class="MsoNormal""That's what I've been thinking too," Mariah agreed with a sigh of her own./p
p class="MsoNormal""I was originally thinking that since it was meant for Rasmodius, I was the only one who would have to suffer, but I'm not sure that's the case. It may be that we, or possibly even the whole family, would have to suffer. I'm very curious as to what the threshold is in how much suffering is enough. I also want to know if your idea that I'm getting bits of my memory back as I suffer is accurate or not. It's so hard to say if these random things I'm remembering were in there and I didn't know they existed until I tapped into them, or if they're being released slowly."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm guessing we'll figure that out more with time," Mariah said, "But I'm thinking too that if you do start to get pieces of your memory that might help increase your suffering the more you're able to realize what you've lost, and that honestly sounds like the witch to me. Like I'd said before, it's a lot more evident to you that something's fucked up than it would be for him. I think it would take him a long time to notice. So she'd have a built in system to drop these little hints to infuriate him."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh, I hadn't considered that," Sebastian typed himself notes on his phone./p
p class="MsoNormal""But to counter my own point, it might be that her magic just wasn't strong enough to block your memories out for so long purely due to amount of content. For you, six years is a lot of time, for Rasmodius not so much. Again, not sure about if the significance of the time frame applied to you specifically or not, but having to block out all of that content instead of just blocking out research where the relationships and day to day minutia can be left alone is a big difference. It might just be that stuff is slipping through the cracks because the magic can't hold everything in place."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hmmm," Sebastian mused, noting that down as well, "That may also be a legitimate option."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So we're in agreement that you definitely have to suffer right? It's the question of whether or not anyone else's suffering is accounted for."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Right," Sebastian agreed./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm sorry," Mariah said, "Truly. So please keep that in mind with the next thing I say. What can we do to get you to suffer?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian snorted, "I know what you mean. I won't take offense to it. I guess my follow up to that is how is suffering defined? Like does being annoyed count minimally towards it?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Excellent question," Mariah said, "But you can just go ahead and add it to the list of questions we're not getting answers to."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So what would make me suffer?" he questioned, "You should be able to help me with that."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah snorted, "Gee thanks."/p
p class="MsoNormal""You know what I meant. Help me think of ideas."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Panic attacks," Mariah began, "This whole situation really. Forcing you to socialize, to face things you're not prepared to face. PDA. Thinking about your dad. Being shirtless in public. People asking you about your scars. Being rejected."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah that all sounds like a shit show," Sebastian shook his head. He paused before asking the next question, "The scars….you're really not bothered by them?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah turned to look at him for a second, speaking in soft, caring tones, "No, I'm not bothered by your scars. You've gotten more comfortable with them too. Not enough to go topless at the beach or anything, but they don't have the same power over you that they once did."/p
p class="MsoNormal""And I told you…"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Everything," Mariah filled in, "You told me everything. And if that sounds hard to believe, just remind yourself a lot can happen in six years, and you were comfortable enough with me to marry me in the first place."/p
p class="MsoNormal""And somehow that dumpling story got turned into something nice," Sebastian said, "Not that the vague memories I have of my grandmother are bad or anything. They're just so intertwined with all the shit that it's hard to separate."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Dr. Tan's idea," Mariah shrugged, "Worked pretty well it seems."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I guess when you're only looking at that piece of it, the memory is a pretty good one," Sebastian agreed, "I just can't only see that part of it."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I understand and I'm sorry," Mariah frowned slightly, "I'll try my best to keep Morgan from bringing that stuff up."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks," Sebastian said softly, "The rest of the story was kind of nice. The anniversary thing."/p
p class="MsoNormal""It really was," Mariah agreed. Sebastian could see her drift off, thinking about the memory. He wished he could remember it./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm guessing we're going to have to make dumplings with Morgan soon though?" he asked after giving her a few minutes./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah, probably," Mariah sighed, "Might be able to get away with doing it without the story since we just told it to her, but I'm not sure. It is one of her favorites. She's already a bit of a romantic."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Mmm," Sebastian nodded./p
p class="MsoNormal"The remainder of the trip to the doctor's office was mostly silent. As they got closer, Mariah told him what to expect. When they arrived, Mariah asked Sebastian to check her in as she made a bee-line for the bathroom./p
p class="MsoNormal""Can I help you?" the woman at the reception desk asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Uh, checking in my wife, Mariah Washington-Park," Sebastian said, "She's in the bathroom." That was probably unnecessary information, but the woman at the desk didn't seem phased./p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay. You're all set. Have a set and someone will be with you shortly," she said./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian nodded, and found a seat away from the few other people in the waiting room. Mariah came to join him shortly, sitting next to him. They didn't have to wait long before they were seen. A medical assistant took Mariah's vitals and assured them the doctor would be in soon. Sebastian turned around to give Mariah privacy as she donned the medical dressing gown. He heard the crinkling of paper as she sat on the exam table. She let him know that it was fine for him to turn back around./p
p class="MsoNormal""I can't remember the last time I was in a doctor's office that wasn't Harvey's," Sebastian said looking around, "Feels weird. Although a little better that it's not for me."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah chuckled, "Yeah eases the anxiety when you're not the one being checked out. Unless there's something really wrong then…" she shrugged./p
p class="MsoNormal""Hello!" the doctor called, knocking on the door and immediately swinging it open, "How are we today?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm okay," Mariah said, giving her a soft smile./p
p class="MsoNormal""Your blood pressure was a bit high," the doctor said, tapping on a tablet screen./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," Mariah nodded, "I've been a bit stressed and very emotional. Between the amount of work a new season brings on the farm, my sister-in-law's wedding in a few days, and Sebastian hasn't been feeling the best over the last couple of days I've not been myself."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm assuming you're feeling anxious as you get closer to the due date as well," the doctor sat down on a stool, looking at them, "I know you're a bit worried about the baby coming early the same way their big sister did."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah and Sebastian both nodded./p
p class="MsoNormal""And Sebastian how are you?" she asked, "You've been sick?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh," he said, caught off guard, "Uh I've had some headaches and my anxiety has been a bit higher than normal."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yes," the doctor nodded, "I imagine that you're both feeling a decent amount of stress with everything going on in your lives. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let the stress get the best of you. Relax when you can. You're in the homestretch with this pregnancy and I'm sure you remember how much your life turns upside down with a newborn. Mariah you've been active, but not overdoing it?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah nodded her head, "Taking lots of breaks, drinking plenty of water, no dangerous activities."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Good," the doctor nodded. Sebastian really wished he remembered what her name was, "And physically how are you doing?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm not sleeping as well as I'd like to," she admitted, "I'm getting tired more easily, but that's to be expected. I'm also noticing more strain in my joints, my knees especially. And lower back pain. I've had to stretch a lot. My boobs are sore, but not unmanageably so."/p
p class="MsoNormal"The doctor had made notes while Mariah talked, "All seem like normal things. Anything in particular with the sleep?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""In addition to general pregnancy discomfort and peeing, I've been having nightmares," Mariah admitted, "Happens when I'm stressed. I've been trying to take naps during the day when I'm able to."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Mmm okay," the doctor nodded, "If it gets worse, let us know. There are some safe medication options we can use at this stage in the pregnancy. If you're interested that is. Totally up to you."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," Mariah nodded, "I'll think about it if it gets worse."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Alright, any other questions or concerns before we do the examination?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah shook her head and turned to look at Sebastian, "I'm good. Do you have anything Seb?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian shook his head, "Not right now."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Great," the doctor pulled some gloves off a box on the wall, slipping on them on as she gave Mariah instructions, "I just need you to lean back on the exam table for me, scoot down as low as you can, feet in the stirrups."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah did as she was told, shifting the paper blanket on her lap as she did so. The doctor spoke to her as she made adjustments and prepared her for what she was doing. She spoke to Mariah through the whole process. Mariah hadn't vocally responded to anything, but nodded occasionally. Sebastian didn't notice any signs of discomfort, but held her hand just the same as she had instructed him to prior to the appointment./p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," the doctor said, pulling her gloves off and replacing them with a new pair, "Worst part is over, but don't move just yet."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," Mariah said, nodding./p
p class="MsoNormal"The doctor pressed her hands against Mariah's belly, feeling for who knows what, and then did a quick breast exam./p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," she said, "You can sit up." She offered Mariah a hand, which Mariah took, dropping Sebastian's hand and adjusting back into an upright position./p
p class="MsoNormal""Good news is everything is progressing the way that it should. You're about 10% effaced, no dilation, and the baby seems to be positioned well. Have you been experiencing any Braxton Hicks?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Nope," Mariah shook her head./p
p class="MsoNormal""Great. That may start soon, and if does, given your history give us a call to keep us posted and we'll monitor," the doctor said./p
p class="MsoNormal""I can manage that," Mariah nodded./p
p class="MsoNormal""Good. So really, try not to worry too much about the baby coming early. Baby seems to be healthy and developing appropriately. Just like your daughter, if this one comes early you shouldn't have any complications. Your kick counts look prefect. You've got a good, healthy, and strong kid in there. Yes, subsequent pregnancies are known to progress faster, and yes you have a history of early birth, but not to a risky degree, and each pregnancy is different. You know the signs to watch out for. Just keep in mind each pregnancy is different. I'm not saying it can't happen, I'm just saying if it does, things will be okay. The more stressed out you are the higher risk you're at, so please do what you can to mitigate that."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah nodded and the doctor turned to Sebastian, "So Sebastian, I'm sure you're already helping out, I'm not trying to suggest that you're not, but we both know how stubborn Mariah is and what a difficult time she has when she's not on the go. Your job over the next couple of weeks to keep helping her out as much as possible and get her to rest and relax."/p
p class="MsoNormal""He's doing plenty for me," Mariah assured the doctor, grabbing Sebastian's hand once more./p
p class="MsoNormal""I believe that. Now you need to do for you and keep not pushing yourself. Keep that mantra of active but not overdoing, except that threshold for what overdoing means has been lowered. We're in the endgame here. Use us, and Harvey as a resource. Don't be worried about bothering anyone if you have questions or if something doesn't feel right," the doctor said./p
p class="MsoNormal""I won't," Mariah agreed./p
p class="MsoNormal"The doctor continued, "As long as it's not feeling stressful to either of you, sex is still perfectly fine at this stage. You don't need to worry about inducing labor that way. Keep going with the fluids and listening to your body when you need a break or some extra rest. You guys have a great support system, don't hesitate to use it okay? People are less shy about asking for help once the baby is born, but parents do need extra support at times during the pregnancy, especially at this stage with another young child at home. Don't forget to be taking time to be together as well. Keeping up the romantic bond can help ease stress."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thank you," Mariah nodded, and Sebastian echoed her, trying to keep his own stress about that idea out of his tone./p
p class="MsoNormal""Alright, any last questions before we get you guys out of here?" the doctor asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""I don't think so," Mariah shook her head./p
p class="MsoNormal""Excellent. Keep us posted with any contractions and if you need any help with sleep," the doctor said, "They'll set you up with your next appointment on your way out, but take your time getting yourself together."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thank you," Mariah said again, and the doctor slipped out the door./p
p class="MsoNormal""She seems like a good doctor," Sebastian said, as he turned around to give Mariah privacy, "Great bedside manner."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," Mariah agreed. He could hear her moving around behind him. She let out a sigh, "Um, I need some help," she sounded sheepish./p
p class="MsoNormal""O-kay," Sebastian said, still not facing her, "What do you need?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""I need some help getting my bra clasped," Mariah said, "I keep fumbling with it for some reason."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Right," he said, "So I should turn around?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," Mariah said, "You're good."/p
p class="MsoNormal"He turned around, her back was to him. She had her leggings on already and her bra was on, just undone at the back. Sebastian moved over to her, working on it clumsily, "Uh is that too tight or anything?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""No that's good," Mariah confirmed, "I'm sorry that you have to do this. But thank you."/p
p class="MsoNormal""S'all good," Sebastian said finishing the job and turning back around to allow Mariah to put her shirt back on./p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," she said, "I'm ready."/p
p class="MsoNormal"When they got to the front, Mariah stopped at the reception desk. She presumably got her next appointment set up and they made their way back to the truck./p
p class="MsoNormal""So I feel like I'm being annoying asking you this again, but you might have changed your mind. Did you still want to go on a date?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian thought it was kind of sweet. Both that she was anxious about it, but that she kept checking in with him. He did concede that he may have been annoyed by it without the preface though, "Yeah. I'm not sure what I'm doing, but yes."/p
p class="MsoNormal""To be fair it's a weird situation. Going on a first date with someone you're already married to," Mariah said, "Any preference on food?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""I dunno," Sebastian said, "You said we went to the movies on our first date right?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah, but I'm not sure what that has to do with food," Mariah said./p
p class="MsoNormal""It doesn't really," Sebastian agreed, "I know it hasn't really worked yet, but I was thinking if we did something similar to recreate a date we'd already been on maybe it would help trigger my memory."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Well we went to a restaurant first. Got some incredible spring rolls," Mariah said, "But that was in Grampleton."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Is there a local place here we've been to before?" he asked, "Or a restaurant similar to that around here that you know of?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah thought for a moment, "I'm not sure about a similar restaurant, but there's a diner we've been to a few times."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Then let's go there," Sebastian said, "I'm not going to count on remembering anything but it can't hurt right? Plus at least we know there's food we like."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," Mariah smiled at him, "Sounds good."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah turned the radio on in the truck, and they drove to the diner listening to whatever came on. None of it sounded familiar to Sebastian, but he also wasn't sure how much he would have listened to the radio like this anyway. When they arrived, the hostess seated them right away and gave them two menus. She let them know someone would be over shortly./p
p class="MsoNormal""So, I was thinking we could play twenty questions," Mariah said as they looked over the menu, "Might ease some of the stress."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Wouldn't you know most of my answers?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow./p
p class="MsoNormal""Not necessarily," she tilted her head, "Though I may have to get creative with my questions."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian was going to respond, but the waitress came over and poured them some water, "Hi folks, how are you doing today?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Good thanks," Mariah answered looking at her with a smile./p
p class="MsoNormal""Great! Can I get either of you anything else to drink while you're looking over the menu?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm set with water," Mariah answered./p
p class="MsoNormal"The waitress turned her attention to Sebastian, "Uh yeah I'm good with water too thanks."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," the waitress's voice was too cheery, "I'll give you a few minutes and be back to take your order."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks," Mariah answered again and the waitress walked away to tend to another table./p
p class="MsoNormal""Anything I've had before and didn't like?" Sebastian asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""The iced tea," Mariah said, "And once you didn't like the fries, but you had them before and since then and it was fine, so an isolated incident."/p
p class="MsoNormal"The waitress came back just as they were putting their menus down. They placed their orders and suddenly with Mariah right in front of him he felt anxious./p
p class="MsoNormal""Do you want to go first, or should I?" she asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Errr, why don't you," Sebastian said./p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay. What was your favorite thing to play with as a kid?" she asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Umm," Sebastian said as he thought about it, "When I was really young I had this rubber frog I brought everywhere. He even made it to the table during meals sometimes."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I think I've seen a picture with the frog in it," Mariah said, "Did he have a name?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""He did but I can't remember it off the top of my head. If it comes to me I'll let you know," Sebastian answered, "So what brought you to Pelican Town in the first place?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah smiled, laughing to herself before she answered./p
p class="MsoNormal""What?" he asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""That was one of the first things you asked me when I moved to town, but this was a much nicer way of asking the question," she answered. Sebastian blushed, embarrassed by a memory he didn't have as she answered his question, "Anyway, my grandfather had left me the farm when he passed. I was an idiot and didn't realize, because it's not like he had anyone else to leave anything to. On his deathbed he'd given me this letter and I forget the exact wording but it was something along the lines of open this when you've grown tired of your life. I was working customer service at the Joja Corportate headquarters in Zuzu and was completely miserable. I found the letter and remembered his words and figured it was time I open it. There was a letter to me and the deed for the farm. It was a radical change from basically my entire life so I thought about it, and then decided to take the plunge. I made the arrangements, quit Joja, and here I am. My dad and some of my friends didn't think I'd like it or maybe that I wouldn't be able to cut it and figured I'd be heading back to Zuzu within a season or two, but clearly they were wrong."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I can't imagine doing something like that," Sebastian shook his head./p
p class="MsoNormal""Sure you can," Mariah said, "That's your dream right? You want to move to Zuzu. Just sort of the reverse of what I did."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I guess," Sebastian shrugged, "That just seems like such a huge leap. Not that you didn't plan it or anything, just my plans never involved an entirely new career path. It was always so calculated."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Honestly I was miserable and I was given an opportunity with minimal risk," Mariah said, "I didn't really know what I was getting myself into, but I knew I at least wouldn't have to worry about paying rent and if I was miserable doing this too and wanted to go back to the city, my dad was my safety net. He still lives in the same apartment from when I was a teenager. Not an ideal situation but if I needed to move back in with him if things didn't go well I had the option. Although that's such a bizarre thing to think about now."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I bet," Sebastian nodded, "What do you think you would have ended up doing if you hadn't moved?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh man that's a tough one. I have no idea. I only did one semester of college before I realized it wasn't for me. Joja obviously wasn't my dream job, but I also didn't have a dream job at the time. I'd never found something that was like my calling. I'd probably either stay miserable at Joja or move around to other shitty desk jobs. Without a college degree or specific skill set it's not like I had a ton of other options available to me."/p
p class="MsoNormal""And farming is your dream job?" Sebastian asked with a raised eyebrow./p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah laughed, "The freedom to be my own boss is my dream job. Besides which when I'm not so very pregnant I do a lot more than just farming. I do a lot of things, but I get to choose what and when. I like being busy, but I also value being able to make choices. I was nine when my mom was murdered, so between the trauma, grief, and then all the lovely hormones from puberty I was angry and got into a lot of trouble. I didn't really understand what was happening with me at the time. I was so overwhelmed and just dysregulated emotionally all the time. So I sort of grew to resent these adults just yelling at me and telling me what to do all the time. As I got older that just sort of felt like all life was, just constantly being told what to do by other people. Eventually I realized that I did have choices, but I was so limited and pigeon holed into these stupid things with absurd expectations. Like did you know at Joja they had these facial monitoring things on our computers and it would measure how much of the day we were looking at our computer and if we weren't looking at our screens for a certain percentage of the work day they would dock our pay?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Whoa, that's fucked up. Is that even legal?" Sebastian asked, "Sorry, you said a lot more than just that, I'm just shocked. Like I knew Joja was shitty and Sam hated working there, but I also sort of thought that Sam probably wouldn't have liked working anywhere. I know what you mean though, about wanting to be in control of your own choices. I hate it that my family doesn't understand or respect my choices. Although from what you said that's different now."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Your relationships are different," Mariah confirmed, declining to expand more on that topic, "If you were stuck on a deserted island, which fictional character would you want coming to save you?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh they're not stuck on the island with me?" Sebastian asked, "Not where I thought you were going with that. How are they saving me?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""I guess that all depends on who's saving you," Mariah smirked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh Yoba," Sebastian groaned, "Angel from Cave Saga X feels like the obvious choice because she's such a badass, but she might be too much of a hot head. Like she might somehow get us into more trouble or I may end up accidentally dead."/p
p class="MsoNormal""That's an excellent point," Mariah nodded in agreement./p
p class="MsoNormal""Maybe Judo, from Grimoire Memories," Sebastian was thinking out loud, "She's a good planner, resourceful, good on her feet."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I like that you went with two polar opposite characters. Both incredible females, but completely different personalities," Mariah said./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian blushed, "Yeah I guess I did. Maybe I'm more like Angel because I went with that impulse rather than thinking it through until after I realized it was a bad idea."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Nah, I'm not surprised," Mariah shook her head, "You've always had a thing for Angel. She's like a default in your brain. I don't think that means you're impulsive like her."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I don't have a 'thing' for her!" Sebastian defended with a blush./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah, okay, sure," Mariah said sarcastically./p
p class="MsoNormal""Shuddup," Sebastian grumbled./p
p class="MsoNormal""Everyone has characters they're attached to," Mariah said, "Don't stress about it."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Well what character are you attached to?" Sebastian asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Hmmm," Mariah said thinking about it, "Milo from Arctic Rush, and Veronica from Jungle Bunch."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Jungle Bunch? The kid's show?" Sebastian questioned, "Seriously?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hey don't knock it," Mariah said, "I have a lot of love and nostalgia for that show. And Veronica was the best."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I don't even remember which one Veronica was," Sebastian shook his head./p
p class="MsoNormal""The tiger," Mariah filled in, "She was sassy."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Ahhh, okay," Sebastian nodded, "I vaguely remember her now. I didn't watch that show much."/p
p class="MsoNormal""It was one of my favorites," Mariah said, "Obviously."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Where's your favorite place in town to go to relax?" Sebastian asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Hmmmm," Mariah thought, "Outside at night is my favorite. I love being able to see the stars. In the summer I like hanging out by the lake by your mom's house and lying in the grass to just watch the stars. I like my hammock in the shade by the pond during the day in the summer when there's a breeze. I like going for walks in the woods during the fall. Sometimes when it's rainy I'll go with you down to the beach. That's so peaceful. When it's cold out one of my favorite places is curled in in my chair in our bedroom with a book, maybe some tea, and a blanket."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So you like to be alone?" Sebastian asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Sometimes," Mariah said, "You join me for a lot of those. Unless I specifically want to be alone."/p
p class="MsoNormal"They were interrupted by the waitress bringing their food before Sebastian could ask his follow up question. Mariah thanked the waitress, who disappeared again./p
p class="MsoNormal""And I let you come to the beach with me?" Sebastian asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Once in a while you'll invite me to go with you," Mariah said, "It's still very much your thing. Like your cliff. You still go on your own, but sometimes you have me come along."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I saw that you'd been there," Sebastian said, "When I went out the other day."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Sorry," Mariah said, "That must have been pretty jarring when you were looking for space to clear your head."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I was thrown off," Sebastian confirmed./p
p class="MsoNormal""I know it doesn't make the most sense to you now, but I promise you that you're sharing this stuff with me for a reason. When you love someone you want to share the things you love with them," Mariah said, "I'm not just intruding on your personal space. Well I go to the beach on my own, but not like specifically seeking out that space during storms. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanThinking about it I'm like 98% positive I've also never asked to join you when you go there. I only go with you if you offer. The cliff on the other hand I'd be lying if I said that I haven't suggested going on a picnic there before. But I'd never just invite myself when you're going to take a break on your own."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks, I guess?" Sebastian said./p
p class="MsoNormal""If you could have any super power what would you want it to be?" Mariah asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Pffft, that's easy," Sebastian said, "The ability to manipulate time. I could get so much stuff done."/p
p class="MsoNormal""But wouldn't you age yourself in the process?" Mariah asked, "Like everyone else would be in stasis but you'd be getting older in these weird increments."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian shrugged, "I'm not talking about large chunks of time. Just a few hours here and there. But I guess that would be something to consider. What's something in your life you wish you could go back in time and re-experience again?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Something with my mom for sure," Mariah said, "Oh I know. I forget why if I was sick or having a bad day or something, but I was about five and I was going through this phase where I was obsessed with fairies. She put up this blanket fort in the living room for me complete with lights and all of these glittery stars and stuff to make it into a giant fairy house. She even put on this costume with wings and everything to surprise me and make me feel better. She had me dress up too and we had a tea party in there."/p
p class="MsoNormal""That's really sweet," Sebastian said, "I'm sorry you had to lose her."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," Mariah nodded her head, "Me too. What do you think would have happened with the band if you'd actually gotten the computer keyboard you wanted for your birthday instead of the synth?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian's eyes widened, "I told you about that?" he hissed, "That was supposed to come to the grave with me."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Well now it can die with us instead of just you," Mariah shrugged, "Don't worry I won't tell anyone. And it's been years."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yoba," Sebastian ran his hand through his hair, "I really did trust you huh?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah nodded, "So what do you think would have happened?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Fuck I have no idea," Sebastian shook his head, "Sam still would have roped me into the band somehow. Maybe I'd be the drummer instead of Abby."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Maybe," Mariah shrugged, "You are a good friend like that."/p
p class="MsoNormal""What's your biggest secret?" Sebastian asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Hmmm," Mariah thought for a moment, "What popping into my head is also kind of your secret and really something I doubt you'd want to hear. Oh. This is something I already told you, but definitely the dove thing. I still can't believe I thought about that. Definitely not something I want anyone knowing about."/p
p class="MsoNormal""But what was the first thing?" Sebastian asked, "You can't leave me hanging like that."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Pass," Mariah said with a wave of her hand./p
p class="MsoNormal""What? You can't pass!" he said./p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah took a forkful of her food and responded before taking a bite, "Sure I can. Besides I ended up answering your question."/p
p class="MsoNormal""No fair," Sebastian said, "You should tell me, maybe I'll remember it."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Trying emotional manipulation huh?" Mariah said, swallowing, "Not cool."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian sighed, "Ugg fine."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Seb look at it this way, if it's something about our lives that I'd rather you not remember then it must be bad right?" Mariah said, "I promise I'll tell you someday. Just not now."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Alright, fine. What's your question?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Ummm, who was your first celebrity crush?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm surprised you don't know that already," Sebastian said, "When I was about eight I had a big crush on the leader singer of Madame Beauregard, I can't remember her name. "/p
p class="MsoNormal""Wow," Mariah said, "Was not expecting that one. Wasn't she already dead at that point in time? Or am I totally misremembering that? And she's gotta be older than Robin."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hey!" Sebastian said with a blush, "Don't judge me, she was an attractive woman. And I don't think I knew she was dead, but that sounds accurate. I'd only seen pictures of her from when she was like twenty and didn't realize how old those pictures were."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh she was absolutely stunning," Mariah said, "I was just surprised is all. I was expecting it to be someone alive. And slightly more age appropriate."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Who was yours then?" Sebastian asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Lyle McGovern. The guy who played Benny on Civil Cemetery," Mariah answered, "Although now that I'm thinking about it, Tabitha Strong who played Rebecca was the person that made me realize that I'm not straight. So I guess I should find a way to thank the casting director of Civil Cemetery."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Wait, you're not straight?" Sebastian asked, putting his fork down on his plate./p
p class="MsoNormal""Nope," Mariah shook her head, "Also not a reaction I was expecting from you. Was never something you seemed to be bothered by."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm not bothered by it," Sebastian said, "I guess I'd just made some assumptions based on our marriage. Totally just looking at it through that stereotypical lens though."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Normal assumption to make, no need to feel guilty over it," Mariah shrugged, "It's the thought we've been trained to have forever."/p
p class="MsoNormal""You're right, but still," Sebastian shrugged, "I'm sorry for assuming."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks," Mariah said, "I know you're not homophobic, but I appreciate it anyway."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So if you could go back in time and change a mistake you've made, what would you do?" Sebastian asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""I wouldn't," Mariah answered almost immediately, "My mistakes are part of who I am. We can't learn if we don't make mistakes right? I wouldn't be the same person I am now if I didn't make all the mistakes I've made."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So there's nothing you're embarrassed by that you just would stop yourself from doing?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow./p
p class="MsoNormal""I never said I wasn't embarrassed. I just said I wouldn't change it," Mariah said, "Two different things."/p
p class="MsoNormal""That's a different way of thinking of things," Sebastian said, "Kind of intimidating honestly."/p
p class="MsoNormal""No need to be intimidated. I fuck up plenty. But I feel like I can't value the ability to choose without being able to own when I made poor choices," Mariah explained./p
p class="MsoNormal""Fair," Sebastian said, "Your turn."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I have to pee, so I'm going to ask my question, and you can take your time thinking about the answer," Mariah began, "If you knew the world were going to end tomorrow, what's one thing you'd want to make sure you did before it happened?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian was glad he had time to think about that answer because somehow he didn't feel like his instinctive response was something he should say out loud. Getting his memory back was also out of the question because number one that was obvious, and number two it was not possible. He also found himself wanting to come up with something that would impress Mariah, but it had to be true. His urge to impress her made no sense. She clearly knew him and liked him well enough to marry him. It's not as if he was trying to woo her. Or was he? It was so confusing. It was a first date, but they were married already. He felt way more comfortable talking to her like this than he would if it were a normal date. On top of all of it he was enjoying getting to know her. Was he developing a crush on his wife?/p