Disclaimer: I do not own Daria. That belongs to MTV, or somebody. I make no profits off of this.

Being a teenager is, generally, pretty difficult.

It can be worse if you have particularly difficult parents.

Daria knew this, and so tried not to be especially discouraged when she learned that her mother had invented a way to try her children in a court of (family) law.

She wanted to be discouraged when her sister was let out of it with nary a blink. She could never get away with something like that. She nearly tried to follow her sister's example by pleading mercy of the court, but it would be just like her parents to throw the book at her.

Jake was having a grand old time in his precarious position atop a chair atop a table. "How does the defendant plead?"

Daria starts her salvo. "The defendant would like to motion for a mistrial. She has reason to believe that the judge and the prosecution are romantically involved."

Helen smirks at her daughter. "Nice try, honey. Try again."

"I'm still trying for that mistrial. I have been denied council and a jury of my peers. I haven't even been informed of the charges against me."

Jake responds, "No mistrial, but read the charges, Helen."

Helen clears her throat and states, "The defendant is accused of being out way too late and missing her curfew."

Daria instantly speaks up, "Then I move that the charges be dropped entirely! I had, at the time, no curfew. It was only after that incident that a curfew was instated. It cannot be enforced on an ex post facto basis." Jake's face scrunches in confusion. Daria continues, "Ex post facto means after the fact. It's like if you were going 50 in a 55, but they changed it to a 45 and gave you a ticket."

That got Jake going and he shouts, "They can't do that! Charges dismissed, kiddo!" Daria gives a little smile and leaves her parents to the fight they are going to have because Helen lost.