p class="MsoNormal"When Mariah returned from the bathroom, Sebastian had an answer ready for her, "So I've been thinking about it and I know you said one thing, but it all kind of goes together. Obviously I'd want to get my memory back, but assuming that's not an option, I'd like to spend some time with all of the people I care about. Like my mom, Sam, Abby, ya know? Just to make sure they know I love them. And just do something with them. Nothing special, like a game of Solorian or something. Then I'd probably get high, but," he shrugged, "I thought about doing something I've never done before, or doing something reckless, but none of that felt right. I like having my personal space, but if I'm never going to be able to see them again, I'd want to be around people."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah's eyes were watering, but she didn't actually cry. She sniffed, wiping at her eyes, "Sebastian that's really beautiful."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks," he said softly, "You're not upset it didn't include you or Morgan?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"She shook her head, "Of course not. We're still strangers. Plus I know if you did remember us it would absolutely include us. And then we'd get high together."/p
p class="MsoNormal""You think?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""No doubt in my mind. Pretty sure we'd also…." She stopped herself from continuing, a blush tinging her cheeks./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian made an assumption about what she wasn't vocalizing, "Right. I, uh, had thought about that too."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah looked surprised, "You did?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Well I did have that dream," he said./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Anyway," Sebastian cleared his throat, "What do you want to do when you retire?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh Yoba," Mariah shook her head, "I have no clue. I have such a hard time thinking about what not being busy would look like. I feel like I would get so bored. Although maybe by the time I'm that old I'll be tired. I guess it depends on what else happens with life. Maybe I'll travel. Or maybe I'll end up helping out with childcare for our grandkids. Or maybe I'll write a book. Or maybe I'll do some crazy experimental cooking. Or maybe I'll work on getting a degree. I have no idea."/p
p class="MsoNormal""No plans, got it," Sebastian nodded./p
p class="MsoNormal""What's something you would change about Pelican Town?" Mariah asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""That's a big question," Sebastian snorted, "I'm not fully sure what has changed, but from the Pelican Town I know there's a lot I would want to change. I guess probably getting Lewis out of office would be the best thing."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Smart. A change of leadership would lead to other changes in the town," Mariah agreed, "I think the only reason he's remained mayor for this long is because no one else wants to do it. Pierre might, but let's be honest I'm not sure that'd be much if any better."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian snorted, "True. What's your favorite festival in town?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""The Moonlight Jellies is very significant to me," Mariah said, "So I look forward to that one the most. I also enjoy Spirit's Eve, though I wish that they mixed up the maze more."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah the jellies is our anniversary?" Sebastian asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Not our wedding anniversary," Mariah said, "But it was that night after the jellies that we kissed for the first time. You made me the wood burned jelly with the glittering resin that's hanging up in our bedroom as a gift after that. And then the following year we proposed to each other on the beach after everyone had left. It was very romantic."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I made that?" Sebastian asked, stunned, "Didn't realize I had it in me."/p
p class="MsoNormal""All your idea," Mariah said, "But Robin did help. A couple of days after we'd kissed I'd helped you email a client to advocate for better pay for the project you were completing that had been way more complicated than you'd been led to believe. It ended up working and you wanted to do something to thank me for the help and pushing you to do it in the first place. So you made me the jelly. Actually the day that you gave it to me is kind of a funny story."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh yeah?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Actually you might be embarrassed. But it has a happy ending!"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Tell me. I can deal with feeling embarrassed by something I don't remember doing," Sebastian said./p
p class="MsoNormal""So we had our kiss after the jellies," Mariah said, "Full confession that we liked each other and all of that, but you'd been a little anxious that I'd only kissed you because I was high. The next day was the first day of the season so I was busy and we didn't see each other. Then the day after that I called you freaked out because the witch had come and cursed one of my chicken eggs. You came over for a bit, and helped me work through it, but nothing else happened, and we didn't talk at all about what had happened between us so you really started to worry about it. Then the email thing happened and I kissed you again. You admitted that you'd been worried I'd only kissed you cause I was high and relaxed a little after that. Of course what you didn't realize is that while I was so busy on the first day of the season I'd talked to Sam to make sure he was cool with us dating after he'd asked me out. I didn't want to fuck up any of our relationships. After he enthusiastically gave me his blessing so to speak I picked out a bouquet for you. After I bought it, I had my own freak out, and hesitated giving it to you because I was worried you were already anxious and maybe you weren't ready for that. Anyway, a couple of days later it was raining and I ran into you at the dock. We had this truly sweet moment, where you talked to me about why you like the rain and watching the storms come in over the ocean. You talked to me about how you're anxious around other people but it wasn't like that with me. We shared an umbrella and you kissed me. I told you I wanted to have a conversation about our relationship to make sure we were on the same page, which of course made you anxious."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Of course," Sebastian shook his head, "I know it all turns out fine and I'm still getting anxious listening to this."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah gave him a sympathetic smile and kept going, "We went back to the farm and while I was changing out of my wet clothes you noticed the bouquet and assumed someone else had given it to me and I was going to reject you. After that all got clarified and we pushed through both our anxiety and how we've both just been crushing on each other it got a lot better. We made out for a while and played a game. Then eventually you're like 'Hey I've got something for you too!' So we went back to your place and Robin and Maru had their little excited freak outs when they saw your bouquet. You gave me the jelly, which made me cry, and then of course you worried you'd fucked something up, but I assured you they were happy tears. I was an asshole and made you come with me back to my place so I could bring the jelly home instead of just coming back for it another time before we went to meet Sam and Abby at the Saloon."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So when you said it was a funny story, what you actually meant was that we were both just anxious idiots," Sebastian deadpanned./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yup," Mariah nodded, "But now we can look back on it and laugh. Or at least I can. I know it just highlights how stupid we both were, but I think it's cute."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm sure if I remembered it I'd agree with you too," Sebastian said./p
p class="MsoNormal""What's one thing you hope to achieve before you die?" Mariah asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Well my dream was always to make my own game, and apparently I've already done that, so I'm not sure. I'd like to see more of the world. There's so much of it I haven't experienced. Granted traveling and being around people kind of make me anxious so I'm not sure how realistic that is," Sebastian explained./p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah was looking at him with a big smile on her face./p
p class="MsoNormal""What?" he asked, "What's that look for?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"She shook her head, "Nothing. You're just a really great person is all. Little things about you that I've just grown accustom to and take for granted. I know we were really doing this more for you than for me, but I hope you know that I'm really enjoying this time with you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian blushed, looking down. He didn't really know exactly what she meant, but the compliment was nice, "Me too."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm about done with my food. Are you?" she asked, "I was thinking we could go for a walk in this park nearby."/p
p class="MsoNormal""That sounds nice," Sebastian looked back up at her./p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah flagged down the waitress and paid their bill. As they got back into the truck Sebastian asked, "So are we continuing our game?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah, why not?" Mariah said, "It's your turn."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay, um, what would you say are your worst qualities?" Sebastian asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""My stubbornness for sure," Mariah said, "Sometimes I plan things out in my head and then I get frustrated when they don't turn out the way I've imagined. I talk way too much when I'm anxious. I can be so obsessed about having good communication with other people that I sometimes push people to share things that maybe that don't want to be sharing."/p
p class="MsoNormal""So you're a truly terrible person. Got it," Sebastian teased./p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah rolled her eyes, "What's the best meal you've ever had?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hmmm," Sebastian thought, "I'd like to say literally anything else, but honestly my mom's pumpkin soup is my favorite. Besides that I dunno. Gus's spread for Winter Star is usually incredible."/p
p class="MsoNormal""That it is," Mariah nodded her head, "A couple of years ago he made this lasagna that was to die for. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. I wish he had it on the menu regularly."/p
p class="MsoNormal""What was your favorite part about living in the city?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Hmm, it's been a while," Mariah said as she thought, "I think what I miss the most was the art culture. I loved being able to go to concerts, plays, or art shows basically whenever I wanted. Not that I had the time or money to do it often, but," she shrugged, "I told you about it a bit back when we were dating, but I went to this interactive em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Ravenous Beasts/em exhibit at the museum. It was incredible. Granted since we've gone to the em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Devil's Eyes/em experience it's a bit less impressive, but still a really great exhibit. The artwork….man….." she shook her head, "Wish you could have seen it."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I bet it was great," Sebastian agreed, "em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Ravenous Beasts/em itself is a work of art so I can only imagine how cool the exhibit was."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Maybe next time something like that comes to the city we can go together," Mariah suggested./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah. Could be fun," Sebastian agreed./p
p class="MsoNormal"The drive to the park had been short, and Sebastian was surprised when they arrived, "I've been here before. I don't remember details, but I remember this place."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah smiled at him, "That's good. Maybe you'll remember more while we're here."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Maybe," Sebastian shrugged./p
p class="MsoNormal""So," Mariah said, punctuated as she got out of the truck and locked it up, "This may be a tough one. I'm not sure you know what all of your options are. What media are you most looking forward to consuming for the first time again?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""That is a tough one," Sebastian said, "And even if I don't know what all my options are I have too many. Probably the Cave Saga books. I do really love that series."/p
p class="MsoNormal""No spoilers but I don't think you'll be disappointed," Mariah nodded./p
p class="MsoNormal""Well that's good to know," Sebastian said, internally rolling his eyes. Of course she knew he would like them. But he wasn't irritated, it was kind of cute, "What's your favorite part of the farm?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""In general? Or in terms of what work do I enjoy the most?" Mariah questioned as they made their way through the park./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian thought for a moment, "Both."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah chuckled, "Will I do have an appreciation for the bats in the cave. Not only because they bring fruit, but also they're just cute. I enjoy the orchard. For a while I was annoyed that I hadn't planted the trees in groups according to season, but I've come to enjoy how they're interspersed between one another. It's like the seasons get to blend with each other. I'm also very fond of my animals. I probably dislike working with the actual plants the most, but it's still very rewarding. Elliot has some flowery language to describe it that I just can't replicate, but he nailed it. Just in general the farm is very comforting to me. It's been my home for so long now; it's part of my heart."/p
p class="MsoNormal""That's a really nice point of view. I've spent so long hating the valley and wanting to get out that I just don't appreciate it that way," Sebastian said, "Though I guess now that I'm in this weird situation I do really miss my room at my mom's house. So maybe I do know what you're talking about."/p
p class="MsoNormal"It was when Mariah squeezed his hand that Sebastian came to realize they had been holding hands. He hadn't noticed when it happened to begin with, but the comfort it provided resonated inside of him. There was a warmth radiating through him. Her hand was much softer than Sebastian would have imagined given the fact that she was a farmer. All of the bottles of lotion he'd seen in the bathroom apparently did serve a purpose. Sebastian took a moment to look at Mariah. There was nothing about her that screamed farmer. At least not what Sebastian would have envisioned a farmer to look like. She also certainly didn't look like she belonged in an office somewhere. She was just her. Mariah's clothes were simple, though admittedly the teal shirt she wore em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"enhanced/em the swell of her breasts. It didn't matter that her outfit was nothing special, she still looked good. Sebastian found himself getting lost in her beauty. He began noticing little things he hadn't really seen before. The way her eyes sparkled in the sun, the smattering of freckles across her face, popping against her tawny skin, the curve of her lips. She had on minimal make-up. Nothing Sebastian would have picked up on if he hadn't been paying such close attention. The eyeliner she wore highlighted the emerald hue of her eyes and the lip balm deepened her lips to a color similar to a pomegranate./p
p class="MsoNormal""What?" Mariah said looking at him, "Do I have something on my face?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh, no," Sebastian shook his head and turned away, blushing furiously. He couldn't believe he'd gotten caught staring. He couldn't believe he'd been staring in the first place. He was going to say something else before Mariah had the chance to comment, but a willow tree diagonally ahead of them sparked something in him, "It was raining," he said./p
p class="MsoNormal""My face was raining?" Mariah stopped in her tracks, questioning him in bewilderment, "What the fuck does that mean?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""No, no, no. Not your face," Sebastian shook his head and pointed at the tree, "It started raining suddenly and so we went under that tree to stop from getting soaked. You were laughing about something," he furrowed his brow, "I was happy. You said I was staring."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Seems to be a theme of today," Mariah muttered under her breath. Sebastian heard her, but didn't respond, continuing his thought./p
p class="MsoNormal""I said I couldn't help it you're just too cute when you laugh like that, and we ended up making out," Sebastian concluded./p
p class="MsoNormal""One of the few times we've kissed in public like that," Mariah confirmed, "Not that it was all that public in the scheme of things."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Well I remember it," Sebastian said./p
p class="MsoNormal""Again, I know you don't have control over it, but why does your brain only remember me as a piece of ass?" Mariah sighed, "Not that I'm not happy that you remembered."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Sorry," Sebastian blushed, "I swear I don't only think of you that way."/p
p class="MsoNormal""But you do think of me that way," Mariah said./p
p class="MsoNormal""I didn't say that!" Sebastian felt like he could have cooked an egg on his face./p
p class="MsoNormal""Relax," she laughed, "I'm teasing you. Besides which doesn't everyone like to know someone finds them attractive?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian snorted./p
p class="MsoNormal""What?" Mariah said looking at him, "You think for a second I'm going to believe that you're too cool to care if people think you're attractive?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian shook his head, "Not trying to be cool. Just don't think people would find me attractive. Although as I'm saying it I'm realizing that obviously you do, and now I feel like an idiot."/p
p class="MsoNormal""You're not an idiot. You just have shitty self-esteem. But trust me, I'm not the only one who finds you attractive," Mariah said./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah, okay," Sebastian rolled his eyes./p
p class="MsoNormal""No seriously," Mariah insisted, "Since we started dating you've been hit on plenty of times. Sometimes in front of me. And it's not because you got any more social or charming."/p
p class="MsoNormal""You've got to be joking," Sebastian said./p
p class="MsoNormal""Really not. Hell you got hit on during our honey moon," Mariah said./p
p class="MsoNormal""Are you sure they weren't hitting on you?" Sebastian asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh I got hit on too," Mariah laughed, "But definitely not in this case. I swear you were getting low key stalked. Don't get me wrong, you've gotten more comfortable in your own skin and confidence is sexy, but you're also just way more attractive than you realize. You've just been hating yourself for so long that you can't see it."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah well, that hate is pretty well ingrained," Sebastian grumbled to himself./p
p class="MsoNormal""I know," Mariah nodded solemnly. Sebastian hasn't intended for her to hear or respond to him, "You've had a hell of a life Sebastian. Between your trauma and Demetrius' terrible parenting it makes complete sense."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian sighed, "I guess it's good to know that it gets better."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Sometimes being seen helps," Mariah shrugged, "Of course you and Dr. Tan did a lot of work too."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," Sebastian shrugged, "So I'm guessing I went back to therapy? She helped a lot but I stopped going. I worked with Dr. Tan for years."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Mmhmm," Mariah nodded, "You started going back before we started dating. I, uh, I made you anxious. I think. I mean it's more complicated than that. But you wanted to not be so anxious because of me. Again I think. I'm not going to presume to know everything. You had a few sessions, got to a better place. Stopped going. Went back for a couple more sessions. Done that a couple of times, not because anything happens and you're doing worse, just because you feel like you're in a good enough place to address other stuff. So you've done some like higher level work."/p
p class="MsoNormal""What about you?" Sebastian immediately regretted asking the question, "I'm sorry. Please don't answer that. I never should have asked in the first place. That's way too personal."/p
p class="MsoNormal""It's okay," Mariah assured him, "Totally reasonable question. We were just talking about your therapy history, makes sense that you'd be curious about mine given what you know about me. I was in therapy for a long time when I was younger too. I have my own therapist that I haven't actually had a proper session with in ages, but we stay connected, mostly through email at this point."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian sighed, though he wasn't entirely sure why. Talking about therapy and his terrible mental health made him feel squirmy, but he didn't feel heavy. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Nothing like being told your mental health improves but not getting to experience it./em It was a tease. He was a horse and his life was a carrot dangling on a string in front of him and no matter the efforts he made it remained out of reach. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"So what does that make Mariah?/em/p
p class="MsoNormal""What are you thinking?" she asked./p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian blinked, taking in his surroundings. He realized he'd completely dissociated and they were much further along the path through the park than they had been what felt like a second ago. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Yoba how long was I lost in thought for? And she just let me be?/em "Um, just about how weird things are."/p
p class="MsoNormal""You got lost there for a bit," she confirmed what he already knew./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," he agreed. He didn't expand on his thoughts, not knowing what to say. There were too many things and not enough things in his head all at once. Though he was confident if he did just word vomit Mariah would roll with it, but he was too embarrassed to even consider the option. He found himself starting to fall down the rabbit hole once more. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"No. Stop. The whole point of this is that you're on this date to get to know Mariah. Stop thinking about yourself. You don't deserve a pity party./em/p
p class="MsoNormal""It's been a long morning, why don't we head back home?" Mariah suggested./p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"No. I'm sorry. I'm fine really. Well I'm not actually but I do want to spend this time with you. I'm just being a jackass who can't get out of my own Yoba-damned head./em "Okay."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Mariah guided them towards the left, a route that would bring them back to the park entrance without retracing their steps. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Not that it would matter since you missed most of the sights the first time around. Except for the sight of Mariah. Who you were blatantly staring at. Who thinks you only see her as a piece of ass because your stupid cursed brain won't let you remember anything real. Just that she's hot. Which you didn't need a reminder of because your eyesight works just fine thank you very much. Even with how pregnant she is she's incredibly attractive. Not that pregnant women aren't attractive, it's just not something I've ever been into before. Or really noticed. Or been around. Because I have no life. Because I live in my mother's basement and don't do shit. Or at least that's what I did. I guess I live on a farm now. I guess I do some shit now. And apparently get hit on when I do go out. And stalked or whatever. What does that even mean? But somehow Mariah got you out of your basement and you stopped being a goblin. Of course the more time she spends with you the more likely you're just going to fuck it up for yourself because you are just a fucking goblin and you're not worth the effort. Not that you know her or anything. Maybe she's not so great. Maybe you just married her because you didn't feel like you'd ever be able to do anything better. You probably realized that you'll never be successful on your own in the city and just settled because if you're going to be stuck in fucking Pelican Town you might as well not be stuck living with Demetrius. But you wouldn't do that would you? And now instead of spending time getting to know your way out of your league gorgeous wife you can't remember you're lost in your own thoughts about how fucked up you are. Were? No are. You're fucked up. You were fucked up and then you stopped being such a fucking mess and then you've got the worst fucking luck in the world and some witch ruined your life so you're fucked up again. Are. Not were. Oh Yoba stop worrying about it. It doesn't matter. Also stop arguing with yourself about semantics. Jackass. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal""Are you okay Seb?" Mariah asked when they got to the parking lot, "Do you need anything? I can stop somewhere if you need to get something."/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Why is she being so nice to you? You literally just completely ignored her for however long. /em"No," he felt bad being so short with her, and tried to sound a bit less grumpy when he spoke again, "I can't really think of anything. I wish I could smoke, but that didn't work out so well and there's no point in wasting the money for me to try again only to have the same result."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay. You're sure? Nothing else? Water, coffee, tea maybe?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian shook his head. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Apologize asshole. /em"No, no thanks." em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"That wasn't an apology./em em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"It's not hard. Just say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ruined our date. I'm sorry I got cursed and fucked over both of our lives. /emMariah said something that Sebastian didn't hear. "I'm sorry what? I wasn't paying attention."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh I just said I was sorry," she looked sad again, "I swear I'm not trying to push anything onto you. I just wish I could help. I'm not sure what you're dealing with in your head right now, but please if I'm doing anything that's making it worse let me know and I'll stop."/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Oh Yoba she is too fucking nice,/em "You don't need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just all in my head again. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I got weird and ruined our date."/p
p class="MsoNormal""You didn't ruin anything," Mariah disagreed, "Sebastian if anyone knows how weird shit is right now it's me. I don't know specifically what you're getting in your head about, but it's been a long day already. It's been a long few days and at this point it seems like it just keeps getting worse. Things keep getting more complicated the longer it goes on. I had this hope that things would get easier or this would feel less bizarre or something, but it's not. I don't know why I thought it would. It was nonsense really. Something I was telling myself to calm down I suppose. But as infuriating as all of that is, I really did enjoy spending this time with you. It was simple, but it was a good date. I hope you enjoyed it too."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Up until the end there where I got consumed by bullshit I did," He confessed./p
p class="MsoNormal""Good," Mariah's disposition had improved slightly, which Sebastian let out an internal sigh of relief over, "Well we don't have to end on that note you know?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""We don't?" he questioned./p
p class="MsoNormal""We've still got a drive home," Mariah pointed out, "If you need a break that's cool, but we're got time."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I guess so. What can we do with that time?"/p
p class="MsoNormal""Whatever you want," Mariah shrugged, "We could keep talking. We could play a game."/p
p class="MsoNormal""What kind of game?" he raised his eyebrow intrigued./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'unno," Mariah answered, "How about we take turns describing characters and we have to guess who they are?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian considered the option, "Alright," he agreed after a moment, "But you go first."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay," she chuckled at him. She took a moment to think about it, startling Sebastian when she spoke again. She gave really obvious clues and Sebastian figured it out almost immediately, teasing her for choosing something so easy, "Alright then next time I'll make it harder. Let's see how challenging you can make it."/p
p class="MsoNormal"They went back and forth for a while, always getting each other's hints, despite how tricky they attempted to escalate. Sebastian thought he had her for a moment and then could see the light bulb go off when she excitedly interrupted his last clue. Sebastian cursed, followed by more internal cursing when he felt clueless about Mariah's next character./p
p class="MsoNormal""Are you sure this is from something I know?" He finally asked./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yes!" She insisted, "From….wait hold on," she blushed, "Never mind. You're right. Not a character you've been introduced to yet. In fact forget literally everything I just said. I don't want to give away any spoilers. I don't think I did, but just in case…"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian shook his head and laughed, "Suuuure. Cheater."/p
p class="MsoNormal""I was not!" she insisted, her blush deepening, but she had a smile on her face./p
p class="MsoNormal"Whatever uncertainty Sebastian had about the game was long since evaporated. He'd had significantly more fun than he originally thought he would have, enjoying both trying to come up with challenging characters to stump Mariah, but also when he was able to successfully guess her clues. There'd been a good amount of friendly debate and conversation about the various characters and media they'd come up with paired with a fair amount of laughter. After they'd gotten going it all felt very natural to Sebastian. He'd forgotten all about the prior stress while engrossed in the game, but reality came crashing back when Mariah parked the truck in the garage at the farm./p
p class="MsoNormal""Thank you," Mariah said, taking the keys out of the ignition, "That was a lot of fun."/p
p class="MsoNormal"She seemed to be lingering in the car, so Sebastian did too. He desperately wanted to go back in time, even just ten minutes when life felt much lighter, "It really was."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Well," Mariah cleared her throat, a shift in her demeanor. It was as if a switch was flicked and things were suddenly businesslike, "I'm guessing your mom made dinner. I dunno if she and Morgan have eaten yet or not but…"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian cut her off, "Wait." em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Wait for what? /emBut she listened to him, waiting patiently for whatever was to come. Sebastian had as much of a clue as she did. She looked at him curiously. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"What now? What's next? What are you going to say? Or do? She's waiting for you. You're waiting for you. Do something. Say something. Anything. What do you want?/em em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"I want to kiss her./em "I just want…" But he wasn't bold enough, "I want to let you know that I really did have a lot of fun. I wasn't just saying that. I really enjoyed our date. Mostly. I kind of forgot about things for a while.."/p
p class="MsoNormal"There was another shift and Sebastian saw a glimpse of the happier version of Mariah he'd seen. Not fully, but she was less stiff to be sure, "That makes me really happy. I'm glad we got to relax a little. And it was nice getting to know you all over again."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," he nodded. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"You could still kiss her./em/p
p class="MsoNormal""We should probably head inside. Your mom is going to start thinking we're making out in here or something," Mariah chuckled, "Yoba knows if I weren't already pregnant she'd make a joke about making her another grandchild."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Right," Sebastian let out a force halfhearted laugh. His opportunity had passed him by./p
p class="MsoNormal"By the time he was shutting the door of the truck, Mariah was already out of the garage. On impulse Sebastian jogged over to her, taking her hand into his. She stopped briefly looking down at their linked hands and back up at his face. He could tell that she was trying (and failing) to hold back the smile that was spreading across her face./p
p class="MsoNormal""You guys look like you had fun," Robin said with a smile when she saw them, "Did you eat yet? I made spaghetti," she didn't wait for them to respond before she continued, "You sit and eat and I'll take care of Morgan's bath."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Yay!" Morgan cheered dancing around./p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks Robin," Mariah smiled at her./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah, thanks mom," Sebastian agreed./p
p class="MsoNormal"His mom and daughter disappeared and a fit of giggles followed. Sebastian waited for Mariah to get her food. When she was sitting down with her plate of salad and spaghetti Sebastian got his own food and sat across from her. He became nervous again, face to face with her. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"What do I do now? How did I forget to talk to her already?/em/p
p class="MsoNormal"Thankfully Mariah was the one to break the ice. She spoke softly, "I hate to ruin the vibe we had going, but we're going to have to start preparing for Maru's wedding. We don't have to do it now, but tomorrow for sure."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh, okay," Sebastian said. He felt…disappointed? He shouldn't have been surprised. He'd noticed her change in the truck when they'd gotten home. Nothing had actually changed. Everything was still screwed up. Maybe if he'd kissed her like he'd wanted… he shook off the thought. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Nothing good will come out of thinking of the what ifs./em/p
p class="MsoNormal"The evening passed in a blur. Morgan was in bed. Robin had left after checking in with them about Mariah's appointment and telling them about Morgan's day. Mariah called Charlie in for the night. Once again he and Mariah were alone and Sebastian felt awkward to say the least./p
p class="MsoNormal""Well I'm pretty tired," Mariah said, rubbing her arm, "I think I'm going to get ready for bed and then read for a bit."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Okay."/p
p class="MsoNormal""You can stay up and do whatever," Mariah continued, "Really don't worry about bothering me. I sleep plenty well when I'm tired like this."/p
p class="MsoNormal""Right."/p
p class="MsoNormal"She looked at him as if she expected more, but then gathered her pajamas before going into the bathroom. Sebastian busied himself with getting his bedding out of the dryer and getting his couch set up again for the night. When he turned around, Mariah was putting her laundry into the hamper. He watched as she ran a hand through her curls absentmindedly before climbing into bed. She picked up the book from her nightstand. Before she started reading, she glanced his way and their eyes met. Her eyes twinkled and then dimmed again. She smiled at him, but that sadness he'd become familiar with was splashed across her face once more. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"It's your fault you know. You're making her sad. She doesn't like looking at you because you're a constant reminder of her loss. She's just being so nice to you because she's stuck with you. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian grabbed his own clothes and went to the bathroom. He didn't know what he wanted to do with himself, but going to bed early probably wasn't a bad idea. The wet dream from the morning now felt like it'd happened days prior. He was honestly amazed how much had happened over the last few days. Everything was starting to blur together. Sleep was probably a good choice./p
p class="MsoNormal""I'm going to turn off the light. Is that okay?" he asked when he returned to the bedroom./p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," Mariah said with a yawn, she turned on the lamp on her night stand, "I'll just use this one for now. Although I should probably just go to sleep."/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian turned the lights off and made his way over to his couch. He pulled the blanket up over himself, and pushed his pillow into a more comfortable position./p
p class="MsoNormal""Good night Sebastian," Mariah gently called to him, as she set her book down and turned off the light./p
p class="MsoNormal""Good night Mariah," he responded, unsure if she would actually hear his modest tone. It didn't matter regardless. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Sweet dreams./em/p
p class="MsoNormal"Sebastian's eyes adjusted to the dark. Why he wasn't actively trying to sleep wasn't clear to him. He let out a sigh feeling frustrated with himself. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"Why must you always self-sabotage?/em With no answer for himself he closed his eyes. He forced the seed of a terrible idea into the back of his mind before it could fully develop. He made stupid mistakes, no question about that, but even he knew that the idea was positively horrendous. Besides the fact that he didn't even know if it was possible or not, it wasn't worth the risk to consider it. Sebastian tried to shake off the negativity sinking in before eventually falling into an uneasy sleep./p