Note I do not own the Loud House all rights go to Nickelodeon and Viacom. Nor do i own Spongebob all rights go to Stephen Hillenberg.

Chapter 12: Idiot Box

Our story starts off with Linoln and Clyde waiting near the mailbox outside The Loud House

"See anything yet, Lincoln?" asked asked Clyde.

"I need my glasses." Lincoln then puts two glasses of water on his eyes like binoculars, which are real human eyes, for some odd reason. "Hmmm..." Lincoln then sees a mail truck approaches. "...it's the mail truck!"

"Our package!" Lincoln, and Clyde say in unison. Lincoln throws the glasses and they both start dancing and hopping.

"I didn't realize it was Happy Hopping Moron Day." said Lori looking at the two boys.

"Lincoln Loud?" asked the mailman

"That's me!" confirmed Lincoln. The mailman throws a big box next to the 2 boys.

"That's a big box!" commented Lori,

"Thank you!" Lincoln said while still dancing.

"Hey, Lincoln, when do we stop hopping?" asked Clyde.

"30 more seconds, Clyde." Lincoln said while rubbing hands together.

"They probably ordered a lifetime supply of bubble soap." joked Lori. She laughs as the two boys lift up a big-screen TV out of the box. "Huh? A brand-new television?"

"Easy... easy..." said Lincoln. The two boys then proceed to throw the TV onto a trash-can.

"Yeah!" the two boys said in unison. They then jump into the box and close the flaps.

"Just when I thought they couldn't get any stupider." Lori walks up to the box with the two boys inside "Let me get this straight, you two ordered a giant screen television just so you could play in the box?"

Lincoln he emerges from the box. "Pretty smart, huh?"

"I thought it wouldn't work." said Clyde.

"Uh-huh, that's quite a plan there." said Lori "Oh, but wait, there was something else I wanted to ask you two. Now what was it? Oh, yeah, yeah." Lori then proceeds to yell at Lincoln and Clyde. "Don't you two have any brains?!"

"Lori, we don't need a television." said Lincoln "Not as long as we have our..." Lincoln makes a rainbow over his head with his hands "...imagination!"

"Wow, I never thought of it that way. That's really something. Can I have your TV?" asked Lori

"With..." Lincoln then jumps on the flap of the box, makes another rainbow with his hands "...imagination, I can be anything I want! A pirate!" curls his finger in a hook shape "Arrrrr! A football player!" stands in a football player stance "Hup!"

"A kid with glasses who has gay dads." said Clyde

"Clyde, you're already a kid with glasses who has gay dads." said Lori.

"See, Lori? It works! You try!" said Clyde

Just last weeks, Lori finally made Clyde get over his crush on her. The down side is he now had a crush on Lynn jr. It got weird.

Flashback

Lori was on the couch. Clyde had past out when he saw her, making her shoes bloody again. Becky was starting to think she had problems.

When Clyde came to, he was about to faint until Lincoln interfered.

"Clyde, before you pass out, can you please listen to what Lori is going to tell you." Lincoln told Clyde.

"Sure." said Clyde.

"Clyde, I'm flattered that you like me but this has to stop." said Lori. ":Listen i have a boyfriend and we're deeply in love."

"But if you and Bobby break up then you'll-" started Clyde.

"Your still too young for me." interrupted Lori. " And even if we're in our 20s, I still can't get passed that. Please Clyde, you can't keep fawning over me, you'll just look like a creep. I'm sorry. i hope you understand."

"I...I understand." Clyde said in defeat.

"Listen Clyde, somewhere out there, there is a girl that will be your soul mate." said Lori. "I'm just not that girl. And if you try, you'll find the right girl."

"Thanks Lori, for the confidence." said Clyde.

Just then Lola came in.

"I heard that your not into Lori anymore." said Lola.

"Word spreads around fast." joked Clyde. Making Lincoln and Lori laugh.

"Well I know a girl who's good enough for you." said Lola.

"Thanks Lola, but your way too young for me." said Clyde.

"Ew, not me, four eyes." Lola said in disgust. "I was talking about Lynn."

"Oh, I don't know Lola, Lynn is too-" started Clyde.

Just then Lynn came in through the front door, coming back from sports practice.

"Hey, Lynn, do you mind pulling down your hair." said Lola.

"Um... okay." said Lynn. She then pulled out her bun, making her hair fall. To Lincoln it looked normal. But to Clyde, it was incredible. It was all slow motion, she looked cute to him. "Why is Clyde staring at me weirdly." Lynn then went up to Clyde. "You there buddy."

Clyde then got a nose bleed from looking Lynn.

"System overload, does not compute, does not compute." Clyde then acted like a robot and passed out.

"Good luck dealing with that Lynn.' said Lori as she left.

Lynn just stood there in shock.

End of flashback

Lori rubs her two hands on both sides of her head. "Okay, let's see. I'm imaging myself watching TV..." Lori then points to the one on the trash-can. "...and there it is! Can I have it, Linky?"

"Sure, Lori." Said Lincoln.

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!" Lori then runs to the TV and pushes it to the house.

"Okay, Lori, but if you change your mind, we'll be in this box!" Said Lincoln.

"Let's play Mountain Climbing Adventure!" Suggested Clyde

"Let's go for it!" Said Lincoln

Lincoln then the flaps of the box over on them."Gloves!"

" Check."

"Hats!"

"Check."

"Underwear!"

"Uh... check!"

"Okay, Clyde, climb up there and secure this rope." Said Lincoln

"You got it!" Said Clyde.

Climbing noises then start coming from the box.

"Clyde! Clyde! Clyde, you're going too high!" Worried Lincoln.

"I hope they put some air holes in that box." Lori then goes inside the house.

"Take it easy, Clyde, you've got to acclimate!" Did Lincoln.

"I'll take it easy when I'm dead!" Said. Clyde "I'm shaking hands with Jupiter! Whoo! Excelsior!"

Lori then opens the front door to the house "Now where's that remote?"

Lori then walks up to the remote, which is right next to the box. She picks it up, puts it in her shirt and stands next to the box, listening to Lincoln and Clyde.

"I am the lizard king! Whoo!" Cheered Clyde.

"Clyde? Clyde? Clyde! I think we should keep our voices down! We might start an avalanche!" Suggested Lincoln.

"What?"

"I said, I think we should keep our voices down in case of avalanches!" Repeated Lincoln.

"What should we keep down?"

"Morons."sighed Lori.

"OUR VOICES!" yelled Lincoln.

"Will you two shut up?!" Lori the kicks the box, causing the sound of an avalanche, making Lincoln and Clyde scream and fall, they both start to cry as Lori stands there in shock. "Linky?!" Lori softly touches the box, causing another avalanche.

"Hold me." cried Clyde.

"Hang in there buddy, the chopper's on the way!" Whimpered Lincoln.

"Lincoln! My legs are frozen solid! You're going to have to cut them off with a saw!" pleaded Clyde.

Lori begins to sweat.

"No, Clyde, I can't do that!" Lincoln groaned.

"Why not?"

"Because I already cut off my own arms!" revealed Lincoln.

"Nooooo!" Cried Clyde.

Lori quickly opens the box and looks inside only to see Lincoln and Clyde sitting inside the box.

Lori, all confused, was at a lost for words. "What the? How were you two making that noise?"

"What noise, Lori?" Asked Lincoln

"I could only hear the sound of our laughter." Said Clyde.

"Yes! But those sound effects: the avalanche, the, the, the..." stuttered Lori.

"Don't forget the second avalanche." Said Clyde.

" Forget it." Lori then closes the box. "I don't know why I'm wasting my time out here when I could be watching my brand new television."

Helicopter sounds are heard from the box, Lori looks around at the sky and ducks.

Pilot Inside Box: "Attention climbers, please hold on! The saws are on the way!"

"Yay!" Cheered Lincoln and Clyde.

"Grrrr... Aha!" Lori opens the box again and sees Lincoln and Clyde just sitting inside the box again. "How are you two doing that?"

"First we establish a base camp at 15,000 feet..." explained Lincoln.

"The noises! How are you two making those noises?" Said Lincoln.

"That's easy. All you need is a box." Said Clyde.

"And..." Lincoln then makes another rainbow with his hands. "...imagination"

As Lincoln and Clyde duck down into the box, Lori stops them.

"Are you trying to say that I have no imagination? I have more imagination..." Lori then tries to make a rainbow with her hands, like Lincoln, but is unsuccessful."...in one hand than you two have in your whole bodies."

That's good. Now all you need is a box." Clyde then closes the box.

Lori walks back to the house. "I'll show them!" She then looks in his closet "There's got to be one in here!" She Finds a small, round green box. "Ah! This hat box should do nicely." Lori then pulls out a Mexican sombrero. "Why haven't I worn this yet?" She then throws it off-screen, gets in the box but he is too big for it and then just sits there.

Lori then frowns, looks at her watch and then gets mad and kicks the box. Police sirens are heard

"Attention! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up!" said a Policeman .

"What do they want with me? What did I do?" Lori gasps. "Obviously, I've violated some new box kicking law!"

She then walks out of his house showing the green box. "Look officers, everything's okay. I won't do it again!"

"You'll never take me alive, coppers!" said the Criminal Inside Box.

"No, Johnny! Don't do it!" said another man inside the box.

Police sirens are heard as Lori gets angry and kicks his green box toward Lincoln and Clyde's box.

Clyde opens his box and the sirens stop. "Whoopee! Another box!" Clyde takes the hat box and closes the box they're sitting in and police sirens are heard again.

"I got to try to relax. Perhaps I can drown out their childish games with a little TV." Lori then walks up to her room, where the T.V. was, and turns on TV to see a show with boxes on a conveyor belt in a factory.

Male TV narrator: "It is here that the boxes reach their final stage of assembly."

Lori then changes the channel to an old professor talking about a box equation on a chalkboard.

Professor: "The equation is illustrated here by this box."

Lori changes the channel again to a soap opera with a man and woman.

Man: "I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this box." the man then holds up a box.

Woman: "That's what I got you!" She also holds up a box.

Lori, frustrated, about the box channels. "Isn't there anything on that isn't about boxes?!" Lori then changes channel to a boxing match on TV.

Announcer: "And welcome back to Championship Boxing."

"Heh-heh, I guess this is okay. I mean, it's not really about boxes." said Lori. Two boxes go at each other in the ring. "I give up."

Astronaut Inside Lincoln and Clyde's Box: "3... 2... 1... blast off!" A loud rocket takes off noises are heard from the box.

"How are they doing that? That was the most realistic space launch I ever heard! There must be an explanation. Think, Lori, think!" said Lori.

She imagines Lincoln and Clyde playing a tape recorder with real rocket sound effects.

"Lori's such a jerk." said Lincoln. Both boys then laugh.

"Laugh at me, will they?" said Lori as she leaves her room and goes outside to Lincoln and Clyde's box.

"All right, where is it?" said Lori as she opens the box.

Clyde comes out of Lori's green hat box. "Here I am!"

"Where's what, Lori?" asked Lincoln.

"Don't 'Where's what, Lori?' me! Where's the tape recorder?" demanded Lori.

"We don't have a tape recorder, Lori!" said Lincoln.

"Don't 'We don't have a tape recorder, Lori!' me!" said Lori,

"But we don't!" repeated Lincoln.

Clyde holds up a small, white, rectangular box in his hand. "We have a tape recorder box."

"All right, make way you two, I'm coming in." Lori says as she gets into box.

"Welcome aboard, Lori!" said Lincoln. "You've just set sail on the S.S..." Lincoln then makes a rainbow with his hands once more "...Imagination... where our only destination is fantastic adventure! Where do you want to go first?"

"No, no. Don't mind me, I'm just here to observe." said Lori

"Lori, don't you see? Waiting and watching? That's not what the box is all about! It's about..." said Lincoln as he makes one last rainbow with his hands, "...imagination."

"All right, fine!" said Lori as she makes the rainbow go away with his hands. "Take me to Robot Pirate Island! I wanna arm-wrestle with cowboys on the moon! Just do it so I can get back and watch TV!"

"Okay, Lori! Robot Pirate Island it is!" said Lincoln.

Lori and Clyde close their eyes and make pirate and robot sounds.

Clyde then imitates robot. "Beep-beep-beep."

"Arr." said Lincoln, imitates pirate

"Beep-boop-bee-boop."

"Ahoy matey!"

"Beep-beep."

"For that you'll walk the plank!"Lincoln giggles softly, and Clyde starts chuckling goofily.

"Why won't this thing turn on?!" snapped Lori as she slams the bottom of the box with his fists. "All right, fine. If you don't want to show me," Lori gets out of the box. "I don't care! I've got better things to do than pace the floor wondering how you two work this thing."

Back at the Loud House, we see Lori pacing back and forth in her room. "How do those two work that thing? There's got to be a secret button or a switch or something! I mean, listen to that!" She then hears real robot/pirate, battle noises from box. "Now, that sounds like Robot Pirate Island! Think, Lori, think! I got it: when those two go to bed, I'll sneak in there and find that button! I'll wait all night if I have to!" She then sits in his chair until nighttime.

Firework and cheering sounds are heard coming from the box. Lincoln and Clyde come out of the box and Clyde yawns. "I need sleep to refuel my imagination tanks!"

"I still can't believe those pirates beat all those robots." said Lincoln, as him and Clyde walk up to Lincoln's room.

"Yeah, see you in the morning." said Clyde as he fell asleep.

"Good night, Clyde." said Lincopln.

Lori sneaks out of the Loud house. She tiptoes over to the box and gets inside.

Lori chuckles mischievously and then sees a piece of paper on the side of the box."Hello, what's this?" reads "This plaque is to commemorate the brave pirates who gave their lives to keep this box safe from the Robot Menace. Lest we forget... Ohh!" Lori then tears paper into pieces with anger. "I've got to find that button quick!" She then looks around the box. "It's got to be around here somewhere. I don't see anything! It's just an empty box! Maybe it really was their imagination. Oh... get it together, Lori! What are you saying? I mean, do I really believe that if I sit here and pretend to drive a race car that I'm suddenly going to start hearing noises?" she pushes her foot down and the sound of an engine revving is heard. "What the...?" Lori turns the imaginary key. "It actually works! I can't believe it! Ha-ha! Oh boy! This beats TV by a long shot! Whooo-hoo-hoo! This is the most fun I've ever had!" the noises actually come from a garbage truck, which lifts the box into the other garbage.

Lincoln, on his bed with Charles laying on his lap while Clyde is sleeping on a sleeping bag on the floor, listening to Lori's cheering in the distance. "Listen to that, Charles. Lori finally made the box work after all. That's so great."

Meanwhile, the garbage truck begins to drive away with the box that Lori is in.

"Vroom! Vroom! Only two more laps to the finish line!" said Lori as the garbage truck dumps out the trash, including the box. "I'm in the lead! Out of my way! I'm almost there!" Lori laughs as the box slides down a trash pile. "Whoo-hoo-hoo! Victory is mine!" The box hits something, sending Lori tumbling down, face first onto a cherry pie. She groans and the box falls on him.

The next morning, Lincoln and Clyde come out of the Loud houses.

"Hey, our box is gone!" said Lincoln.

"Oh, well." said Clyde.

"I know! Let's go see Lori!" suggested Lincoln.

"I hope she's not too down in the dumps today." said Clyde as he and Lincoln walk to Lori's room, and a timpani noise sounds and the screen fades to black, ending the fanfiction.

Epilogue.

Lori makes it home from the dump where Lana comes up to her.

"Where have you been?" asked Lana as she saw how dirty Lori looked.

"At the dump." said Lori, as she walked away.

"Lucky!" whined Lana.

The End!

And that's a wrap. Now If you'll excuse I gotta go. This is Issac Flores signing out.